The beginning of something bigger? (677 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: -0.62 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Luke M (View user info) at 2005-11-24 04:44:42 EST
I wrote this one day on a whim.
Brian Holthouse ran. Ran in that desperate
way that men will only run if the alternative
is death.
He ran out of his bedroom and into the corridor.
He was shaken.
They killed my wife.
He tried to push the pain away and focus on
getting the children. Escaping.
A masked man appeared at the end of the corridor
and Brian dived to the left, into the kitchen.
His subconscious captured a fleeting thought.
Knives. Carving knife.
Then his conscious mind kicked in. These are trained
professionals.
Brian exited through the other kitchen entrance. He
was now running towards the back of the house.
Towards the stairs, the playroom and down the stairs,
the children's bedroom. His goal.
Whatever happened, he needed to get to the children.
He heard a crash behind him and his mind raced back
to reality. He ran down the stairs, his heart beating
double time.
A shot fired behind him. A pistol shot. There was no
hope of aiming; it would be a fluke if it hit him.
A fluke was a dangerous bet on a life.
He felt that the man behind was gaining on him, but
couldn't be sure.
Brian reached the bottom of the stairs and turned
left to the children's room. He couldn't imagine what
his poor sons were thinking.
No doubt awoken by the noise, they would be scared
and shocked.
Brian heard another gunshot behind him. He wondered
what the odds of hitting him were. And how many more
shots it would take to kill him.
As he reached the door, he saw another masked man at
the end of the hall. One in front, on behind.
He would have to take the window with the children.
Inside the room, Brian slammed the door shut and locked
it. He had about 20 seconds.
He raced to the bunk bed and stopped. He stared blankly.
His heart stopped.
His world stopped.
Brian Holthouse no longer cared about being killed by
the masked men.
On the bunk bed, on top and bottom, a small child lay
dead. Their eyes were frozen with fear. Two gun wounds
remained in the torso of each..
Brian turned towards the door, barely seeing anything.
He didn't hear the men's shouts. He didn't hear their
banging on the door.
He barely noticed when they crashed open the door and
flew inside.
He didn't even notice when they fired five rounds into
his chest, or when he slumped to the ground, dead.
User Reviews
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-11-28 00:46:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This gave me ass cancer.
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-11-27 20:02:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow. Your gayness is overwhelming.
Submitted by 501LatinVerbs (user info) at 2005-11-25 18:11:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah perhaps I should have added (without penis) on the title, but then I would have missed out on the charity vote.
Submitted by dangerdude (user info) at 2005-11-24 22:56:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I expected to see a penis with a title like that, +2 for no phallic objects
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-11-24 20:50:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
at least you don't think that each line should break with punctuation.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2005-11-24 17:21:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I read boat, and I think knife.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-11-24 06:15:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd say this was a good solid 'meh'
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-11-24 05:52:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Meh
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-11-24 04:52:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I reached up to the top shelf and selected a copy of razzel. leafing through the pages I noted an immage of three women in a stack covered in gravey. I slowly reached for my crotch.
It was the start of something bigger.
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2005-11-24 04:49:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Weak.