Footprints in the sand (1374 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.29 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by nate (View user info) at 2005-11-24 09:50:37 EST
One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Scenes from his life flashed across the sky
and he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life had flashed before him,
he recalled that at the lowest and saddest times of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
Dismayed, he asked, "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
I don't understand why, when I needed you most,
you would leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious child.
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering
when you saw only one set of footprints...
That was when I hovered. Wooshwooshjjjjshhsjjjjjssshhhhhhh"
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-08 17:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dante_Alighieri (user info) at 2005-12-11 13:24:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
About 2 years ago, I walking around out in the woods by myself, trying to clear my thoughts a bit. I was stressed after having just been broken up with and possibly about to get fired. I walked around for a while until I found a little cave. I thought it seemed neat(I've always liked caves), so I went inside.
I got about 10 feet into it when I bumped into something big. I squinted in the darkness, and saw an enormous mouth full of fangs, dripping with blood and saliva. Whatever the hell it was then proceeded to knock me on my back, pull my arms off, and tear open my ribcage, ripping out my intestines and then mangling my muscles with its claws. Then, it grabbed my head with both hands and started to squeeze really hard on my skull. I mean, you could hear the bone cracking like old wood. Then my eyes shot out of my head and the thing laid eggs in my exposed chest cavity.
But it was still more fun than reading this post.
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loser above
Submitted by Dante_Alighieri (user info) at 2005-12-11 13:24:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
About 2 years ago, I walking around out in the woods by myself, trying to clear my thoughts a bit. I was stressed after having just been broken up with and possibly about to get fired. I walked around for a while until I found a little cave. I thought it seemed neat(I've always liked caves), so I went inside.
I got about 10 feet into it when I bumped into something big. I squinted in the darkness, and saw an enormous mouth full of fangs, dripping with blood and saliva. Whatever the hell it was then proceeded to knock me on my back, pull my arms off, and tear open my ribcage, ripping out my intestines and then mangling my muscles with its claws. Then, it grabbed my head with both hands and started to squeeze really hard on my skull. I mean, you could hear the bone cracking like old wood. Then my eyes shot out of my head and the thing laid eggs in my exposed chest cavity.
But it was still more fun than reading this post.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2005-11-29 10:11:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-11-29 09:59:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
l
o
l
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-11-26 16:20:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
hahahaha
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-11-26 16:17:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-11-24 18:07:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously, this has to be one of the funniest posts I've ever read. The imagery of God as the bearded guy in the robe doing the hand-action and making the sound effect, then looking wide-eyed at the man, is just too good to pass up. I just printed this out and stuck it on my wall.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-11-24 17:56:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
?!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-11-24 17:51:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-11-24 17:36:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-11-24 17:33:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bwaahahaha
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-11-24 17:32:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If i was a God, Id totally mess with people
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2005-11-24 17:28:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously though this is one of the greatest things I have ever read.
YOU'RE A GOD.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2005-11-24 17:24:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Wooshwooshjjjjshhsjjjjjssshhhhhhh" "
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-11-24 17:16:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
cute
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-11-24 16:29:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Or another optional ending:
The Lord replied, "My precious child.
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering
when you saw only one set of footprints...
That was when I was helping one of the other
4 billion people on this planet, you selfish asshole!
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-11-24 15:58:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
heh
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2005-11-24 15:24:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-11-24 13:13:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice spin there.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-11-24 13:08:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaahahhahahahaahhaha
Submitted by PigOnLifeSupport (user info) at 2005-11-24 12:29:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-11-24 12:18:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-11-24 10:58:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Heh. Made me smile.
Submitted by Smithens (user info) at 2005-11-24 10:52:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOL'D
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-11-24 10:10:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahaha i pissed myself.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-11-24 10:01:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
punch line at the end saved it
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-11-24 09:56:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
STILL GUT LAUGHING
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-11-24 09:55:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The sound effect at the end made me giggle.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-11-24 09:55:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCKING CLASS!
Submitted by sealclubber (user info) at 2005-11-24 09:53:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
uh, what?
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-11-24 09:53:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No