Awkward Moments (1513 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 0.7 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by bluto (View user info) at 2005-11-26 06:10:55 EST
I traveled to St. Louis to visit family over Thanksgiving. My aunt and uncle offered me their abode, so as to save me the cost of a hotel. I'm a cheap bastard, so I accepted instantly. What I didn't think of, however, is that their guest room is on the third floor of their ancient home.
It's a nice house, but the heat doesn't well reach the third floor, so when I walked into the room I would be staying, the chill instantly gave me goose bumps and made my nipples hard enough to cut glass. The bed on which I was to sleep, however, had only 1 sheet on it, which was not going to be sufficient.
I began to scour the floor for blankets. I searched the closets, other bedrooms, and dressers for blankets, only to find them all empty. I walked back to my room and checked under the bed for anything that would keep me warm. I found no blankets.
Instead, I found a board game entitled "Let's Fuck!" My curiosity was piqued, so I closed the bedroom door, pulled out the game, and began to inspect it. I've never seen a game so simple. The board was not long, and all of the squares had intimate actions on them, for example: Passionate Kiss, Massage Something, Talk Dirty, etc... The final square on the board was simply "Wanna Fuck?"
I grinned as I replaced the pieces to the game, which unfortunately, were not suggestively shaped. I returned the game to its place under the bed and returned to the matter at hand. After about 10 more minutes of searching, I still had found nothing to keep me warm, so I went downstairs and politely asked my aunt if she had any extra blankets.
She asked me if I'd looked, and I immediately began failing to hold back a smile. She gave me a confused look of "What the fuck are you smiling at?" Shortly thereafter, an understanding look swept across her face, followed by a look of embarrassment. When I told her that I couldn't find any, she hypothesized that they had been "borrowed" from her home, and that I was out of luck.
I returned to my cold, desolate floor to search again for ANYTHING that would keep me warm. I gave up searching after about 10 minutes when an idea popped into my head.
I returned to my room and played a nice game of "Let's Fuck: the Solo Adventure."
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-28 18:10:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-27 06:17:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
so you might as well confess that while you were yanking it, you were thinking of your Aunt.
Come on, we all know
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-27 06:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so you might as well confess that while you were yanking it, you were thinking of your Aunt.
Come on, we all know
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-11-27 04:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
1.13??????????????
Submitted by alfakyle (user info) at 2005-11-26 22:37:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so if there was only 1 sheet and you'd probably need it to try and keep warm, what'd you wipe up with? did your aunt do your laundry the next day?
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-11-26 22:09:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-11-26 15:40:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you win?
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-11-26 15:40:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you win?
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2005-11-26 11:30:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nothing better then auto-derived-immidate-selfgratification
Submitted by Walker (user info) at 2005-11-26 08:23:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No +2 cuz I started thinking what may happen when you landed on the 'talk dirty to self' square.
Weird...
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-11-26 06:16:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
nobody wants to think about their relatives playing a game called "let's fuck!"
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-26 06:13:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you stayed with your family
are family are normal humans
you masturbate.
did I miss anything?