Hereditary Murder - Part 1 (582 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Da MagnificAnt Dyldo <lordofduct.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-11-28 01:02:34 EST
There is a killer amongst us whose innocence is so pure his actions can never be stopped. The motive is ancient; passed down through the generations. The crime is sorrowful and leaves a rippling effect that rocks the life of a man for years. An anticipation of sea sickness so high the man is left handicap years in advance. It all began at the age of eleven when the children were hollow and cold in their ways.
"Hey Dorkman!" Daniel Dircman continued walking down the hall ignoring his calls. "I said hey Dorkman!" A small rock pummeled Danny in the back of the head. "You're supposed to speak when spoken too loon."
Danny rubbed his head and turned around, "What do you want Steven?"
Steven came up to Danny and scratched the peach fuzz under his chin, "The guys wanted to know something." He leaned back on his left leg and eyed Danny up and down. "Why is it you always wear the same pair of pants every day? Is it like your security blanket or something?"
"Steven, come on... please not today."
"No seriously bro, what's up with it you know they kind of are starting to smell."
"You threw a rock at me for this? What the fuck! I need to go." Danny started to turn to walk away.
Danny was grabbed at the arm and spun back around, "Hey Dorkman, don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you!"
"Listen, you know why asshole. I need to go!" Danny was white in the face; the confrontation made his leg shake with anxiety.
"Class is the other way dumbass. Where do you think you're going?" Steven makes it a common practice to patronize Danny whenever possible.
"Steven you know where I'm going. Why do you do this to me every time? It's Tuesday I have to go!" Danny shook his arm free of Steven and turned to run away.
"Ohhhhh yeah. It's that day! You have to go see your loony brother don't ya!" He turned back to his friends and yelled out, "Hey guys, he's off to see the crazy. The smelly fart is off to see the nutcase. I bet the hospital bills are why Dorkman is in the po' house!"
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Danny's mother's red sedan pushed down the interstate at a steady pace. Danny stared out the window watching enjoying the quiet murmur of the sounds of mufflers vibrating against the passing sound barriers. Occasionally the murmur would be cut short by a gap in the sound barrier and Danny was greeted with the sight of a field or lake. Short dreams of a picnic or fishing flash through his head; when was the last time he went out and had that kind of fun? The dreams would be cut short by the hypnotic vibrations of the green wooden sound barriers protecting the hillside from the industrialized visage of an interstate.
"So how was school sweetheart?"
"It was fine." The words came out so sweet that his mother could never tell he had a fake smile on.
"Oh, what'd you do?"
"Ummm... Steven introduced me to a few of his buddies today."
"Oh that nice boy you always tell me about. That's nice. What were their names?" His mother smiled at him.
"Umm, I don't remember. I think one was Robby."
"You know when I am told a new persons name I always make a point to shake their hand and say there name in context. It help's you remember it." She shook her finger in a 'matter of fact' manner.
"Yeah mom." A mild irritation was beginning to show in his voice.
"You should invite one of your friends over for dinner or something. I could try and put together something nice."
"Yeah, like tomato soup spaghetti sauce?" Danny grumbled under his breathe.
"What?"
"Nothing mom."
"You know Danny, we may not be that well of, but we're still a family and families don't make crude remarks to each other." Danny's mother was tired of entertaining her son.
"Yeah ma." Danny rolled his eyes and looked back out the window, "What was Dad again? A drug addict piece of shit?"
"Why you got a set of balls on you!" No more with the pleasantries.
"Well, don't be a hypocrite then." Danny looked at his mother sternly as if he actually had some sort of authority.
"You better drop that attitude young man. Your father is not part of this family anymore and..."
"He is part of my family! Just because you don't want anything to do with him doesn't mean I don't."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to word it that way." She looked at Danny and patted his head, "I'm sorry for fighting sweet heart."
"I'm not..." he grumbled under his breathe as he forced out a small smile.
"So are you going to invite any of your friends over?"
"No Mom! I'm not! Everyone at my school fucking hates me; don't you get that? Please just drop it now." Danny's fuse ran short and he exploded on his mother.
"But what about that nice Steven kid?"
"Didn't you hear me? They hate me!" The glove box flew open after Danny kicked it sending papers all about the cab of the car. Danny swatted them from his view and turned back to the window to be mesmerized by the passing sound barriers. Silence persisted for what seemed like ages and Danny was content with this; he didn't want it any other way.
"How about some eye spy?" His mother was said her words quietly and cautiously. Danny ignored her and continued staring out the window.
User Reviews
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2006-01-22 04:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This has great potential.
Submitted by Ditka (user info) at 2006-01-09 08:43:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:22:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:18:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice, i like how its understated and kind of ambiguous, especially at the beginning.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-12-03 23:08:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good so far.
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2005-11-28 04:05:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is pretty good! I'm interested to see where it goes...
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-11-28 02:30:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice , keep it up
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-11-28 01:04:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
grrr... how did I blatantly miss that 'was' at the end there?