Why I quit as a naturologist (632 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.17 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <Stop Teh Voices> (View user info) at 2005-11-28 08:02:50 EST
A few years back I travelled to Africa with a team of filmsters and scientologists. The aim of our trip was to capture new and extraordinary footage of the common African Elephant. The African Elephant is distinguishable from the Indian by it's distinctive mane and it's tendency to attack from behind.
We sat in our two jeeps, just watching the shoal of Elephanti slowly plod past. They moved like a conga line holding each other's tails, with the chicks at the back. It was a swelteringly hot day and for the most part these beautiful creatures had been sheltering under a nearby copse.
As the day grew later and the heat began to ease off, the shoal stopped to rest, play and feed. The sight of these magnificent marsupials displaying almost human like characteristics was a dream come true for us. They sat in the cool evening air playing etch-a-sketch and cooking baked beans over a primitive fire.
Just as we were about to call it a day and head back to base camp, Suzette one of the younger breeding males, began to display odd behaviour. He started to rip branches from the surrounding trees and with his powerful trunk began to weave them together into a circular shape about twenty feet in diameter.
We continued our observation for around another hour until, finally, Suzette seemed to have finished. We watched him settle in the centre of his construction, moving around much like a dog to get comfortable.
Suzette let out a terrific trumpet from his trunk and screwed up his face until it turned red. We heard a "thunk" and to our tremendous pleasure we realised what was going on - Suzette was laying his eggs in the middle of his newly constructed nest, this was behaviour no-one had ever managed to capture on film before!
We waited until suzette had fallen asleep, and then we crept up to the nest to get a closer look. When coming into close contact with an elephant you must be careful of it's poisonous tusks, for they deliver a dose of poison five times more lethal than any penguin. Luckily we had packed plenty of anti-venom.
We were filming these rare and wonderful eggs when suddenly a flock of hyenas jumped us, we ran screaming as fast as we could but unfortunately the hyenas claimed their prize, (our cameras) I kicked myself for not bringing any anti-hyena camera stealing spray.
Of course we were devastated and decided to leave for home. Without the footage, however we were the laughing stock of the science fiction community. I don't expect any of you to believe me but this entire story is true. God bless.
User Reviews
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-11-28 10:41:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
unfortunately the hyenas claimed their prize, (our cameras)
gold!
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-11-28 09:23:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My consumption of illicit substances is, to date, unwavering.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-11-28 08:54:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This raises all kinds of questions as to your consumption of various illicit substances.
Submitted by Walker (user info) at 2005-11-28 08:51:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for 'tendecy to attack from behind', alas, -1 for for 'anti-hyena camera stealing spray'... I'm almost certain you meant to say 'anti-camera-stealing-hyena spray' =)
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-11-28 08:28:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-28 08:10:16 (#)
Ranking: 1
It's alright. Bit silly though
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So the caterpillar has emerged from it's chrysalis as a shark, with a gun for a mouth...
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-11-28 08:23:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Brazil nuts are cultivated in tropical botanical gardens far outside its native range, and minor plantations have been established in Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia and Ghana in Africa.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-11-28 08:16:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
fun read
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-28 08:10:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It's alright. Bit silly though.