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A Great Job Resume... (826 hits)

Category: Humor

Rating: 1.83 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)

Submitted by Rick Manfre <rickmanfre.at.comcast.net> (View user info) at 2003-05-27 08:08:30 EDT

If Resumes Told the Truth
OBJECTIVE
To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor for eight hours, occasionally looking attentive when approached by a superior.

EDUCATION
School: Very Expensive
Major: Not Important
GPA: Don't Ask

EMPLOYMENT
NETWORK MANAGEMENT (9/96-Present) Produced daily itinerary of television programs to watch. Duties included changing channels, avoiding infomercials, and staying tuned after those messages.
DEBT CONSOLIDATION (4/97-12/99) Using various tools such as credit cards and borrowed cash, I managed to combine groups of unpaid bills into one monthly bill that goes straight to my father.
RESIDENT INHALER (9/98-6/99) Assisted all students with chemical intake from purchasing to exhaling.

COMPUTER SKILLS
*Solitaire *Minesweeper *On/Off Repair Method HONORS AND AWARDS
*First Place in Miller Lite Funnel Tournament *Said Toast at brother's wedding *High Score on Theta Chi's Pin Ball Machine

For further references, contact my mother. For positive responses, please pose all questions as though you're considering me as a law school applicant.

User Reviews

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-11 16:22:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

i find it funny this only got one review when it was posted and didn't see another until nearly three months later

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-21 19:17:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

open your poot

Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-25 13:16:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-14 05:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Yep.

I broke it.

Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-08-13 14:11:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

How did this get coaxed into the open?

Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-08-13 13:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

B@W

Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-13 13:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

when uber was a quiet little village

Submitted by crisko (user info) at 2003-05-27 08:29:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Stole my fuckin resume didn't you??

Submitted by crisko <crypto> at 2003-05-27 08:28:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

No Comment