Full House: Where are they now? (2567 hits)
Category: GraphicsLabels: People I want to blow.
Rating: 1.87 on 72 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Wardy (View user info) at 2005-11-29 14:02:41 EST
User Reviews
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-03 00:55:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good dog
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2008-02-02 23:47:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fucking assholes.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-19 11:32:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ehhh....
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:00:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
am i dead yet?
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-11-30 06:08:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-30 05:40:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
if you're still awake and can read this, then all is lost and the world is going to fall off its axis and blow up when it hits the sun.
crash.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-30 04:36:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
deal.
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-11-30 04:36:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I reserve the right to take back my +2 if I do not end up sleeping like a baby.
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2005-11-30 03:00:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny funny funny
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-30 02:23:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm... good idea, i think i see what you're saying.
everyone! i'm going to repost this on sunday when uber isn't busy! so come to uber for a few minutes on sunday and i'll show you this pooooooost again and we can all eat cake!
i am the walrus.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-30 00:11:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 23:30:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
i will never make it to bored at work.
--------------------------
Don't sweat it. I have a laundry list of posts I thought should have made it. Then one day when I wasn't even thinking about it, it happened. I have posts I think are way better than that one too. That's the way it goes though. It's right place right time. Obviously if Uber has been good around the time of your post, the competition is going to be more fierce. Save your really good stuff for days when uber is suckin' ass. Possibly late Thursday or Friday. Fridays are generally pretty slow.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-11-29 23:38:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This needs B@W
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 23:30:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i will never make it to bored at work.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 20:22:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
well thank you, sir. but i must mention that i did send an email to bartley's way, but i don't think it means shit if you try and submit your own work. i think that's pompous or something else that rhymes with walrus.
stay awesome.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-11-29 20:15:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is Bored at fucking Work if i ever saw one. Wardy you crack me the fuck up.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 19:57:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nate, Mr. Chemical engineer man, yes I know your occupation. I saw you tear up Adam's asshole earlier today like you had been in jail for twenty one hundred years. That being said, thank you for your comment. I'm sorry you didn't find it funny, but it really didn't take that much work either. Fuck, I don't know why I'm telling you this, now you're just going to give it a minus two instead, but okay. Go ahead. I promise I won't be mad. I'll just cry emo tears and eat a hot dog.
GLALL -- Okay, I'm down with fondling the special places of hookers and smoking blow. Is that what you do with blow? I'm not sure, I usually just do lines of dishwasher soap and rat poison. Well, actually I eat the rat poison. Strong like bull.
Submitted by nate (user info) at 2005-11-29 19:52:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A 0 instead of -2 because of the effort
not funny at all
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-11-29 19:49:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hookers and Blow. It's the only way.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 19:44:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well mom, it's great to see your voice again. That's right, I said see because that's all I ever got. Postcards made from Frosted Flakes boxes with messages scratched on the back of them with dandelion flowers. Well I'll have no part in your silly plans of resurrection. Despite being sworn arch-enenemities with Mr. GLALL man, I think I speak for the both of us when I say you're better off dead under twelve feet of sand. Yeah, that's right I said 'sand.' Know why? Because it was a lot cheaper to pay the three Asian kids all the change in my pocket to dig a giant hole on the beach and toss your bloodied corpse in it than have to pay for a coffin and funeral and all that other bullshit.
That being said, Mr. GLALL man sir, despite being my sworn arch-enenemenemitie, what should we do with th money we have from mom's will? I'm down like clown with whatever you come up with, Charlie Brown.
Submitted by Dizzle (user info) at 2005-11-29 19:38:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not funny, only reason for the +1 is the Nikky and Alex comment...
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-11-29 19:33:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, my watch has bowels? And this watch, it has bowels as well? What about this watch? Does it too have bowels, wardy? I'm not really into the libertarian agendas you are trying to push on me, ma
wardy, dis is momma. i take your brother and just let him rest his incredibly small penis a bit. You wanna help momma, right? You go get a shovel, unbury up my corpse, then you shove some jelly in momma's mouth. that gonna start the resurrection of my physical body. it ain't gonna hurt momma baby, i be just fine. then you gotta take the bible and shove it up my asshole, make sure it get real tight in there so god's word can spread faster throughout my loins. after that you gonna stand up like a tall proud boy i made you and recite Genesis 1:13 forty times. then i'ma take you home and make some homemade ice cream. hurry up now, momma's got bingo at 9:00 tonight.
ybe you should try shilling that....what the hell is this? whatever. submit. Fuck you, mom.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-11-29 19:30:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, I miss Punky Brewster...what happened to that Potsie guy?
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 19:26:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Mr. sam man, I guess you could say it's a lot like a Caulincaurtacurtcourt? post. Well, that doesn't really work. I mean, I like his replies to other people's posts. And Shlongy's. They keep me from taking the machete from underneath my pillow running down the sidewalk like the indian native guy in the 'Last of the Mohicans.' Although I don't know if he was indian native in real life, I think he was just tan.
Submitted by toucan_sam (user info) at 2005-11-29 19:24:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was brilliant. i can't decide what i like better, though. the comments or the actual post.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 19:15:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Mr. GLALL man sir, I will explain this once, and only once, because after I explain it, if you read this too many times, your head will explode and fairies will eat your blood. Fairies, point of fact, are the only creatures known to man that can eat liquids. It's true, I've seen it.
Ghosts have bowels because they are a lot like things. And going by Phillip P. Dallard's study on things, all things have bowels. So, if all things have bowels at some cellular level, which I assure you they do, then ghosts by default must also have bowels.
So here it is, and try to close your eyes when you read this, because like I said, there are fairies everywhere waiting for people's heads to explode from this kind of information: All things in the universe have bowels.
boom.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-11-29 19:08:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How was I supposed to contain myself?? Sure, hilarious I agree, my dick is the size of a coffee straw that's been cut in half, but when mom started calling my friends and telling them to turn on the game and see her son standing courtside with his midget-sized genitals flapping in the wind, I lost it. It's not like I wanted to kill her, I just wanted to.....I wanted to kill her in front of everyone and show people that I'm still a man! Godammit I'm still a human being! Hopefully I can now have some peace now that she is..........................she's a ghost. Unfucking believable. You think I'm joking wardy, but i'm not. I'm getting ready to submit this review when I hear the backdoor swing open (good old mom)and hear a familiar voice tell me that "wardy still goin to school? you still....your stupid ass probly still sell cigars at mcdonalds or wherever, i don't know because i don't care about you. get me some greens for my bowels explode out my sides, needle dick".
You tell me how the fuck ghosts have bowels, wardy. How.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 18:55:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
In my defense, I was unaware acoustic guitars cannot consent to sex, legally. You trickster, I'd have spent the next 5-7 in the state pen, although maybe this was your plan all along. Perhaps you were really trying to help me lose my 'anal' virginity, for which I suppose I should be thankful? Well I wasn't about to succumb to your little ruse, so as you and I both know, along now with the rest of the known world, during the foreplay part of the night thing, I busted the G-string, which fuck all if that doesn't happen to me once a month, but anyways the stupid thing thought we were moving to fast... or hard... maybe both.
Well after the little guitar debacle, mom wasn't very please with us, was she. No. And now I'm not saying that what she did was right, but pulling your purple tights down while you were on the Jumbotron at the Knicks game, well that was pure comedy. I don't think I've heard that sort of raucous laughter since the U.S. found out Canada was forming an army of whales. At any roooot, you were definitely in the right for pulling off your tights the rest of the way and strangling her in front of everyone. I, however, usually wait to strangle women when I'm in darkened alleys and thick woods.
To each his own.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-11-29 18:28:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gold.
Pure gold.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-11-29 18:17:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
At least we know we're not getting 2 metric tons of rice on our birthdays anymore. What the fuck was her deal, man??? She always liked being this incessant bitch to the both of us. Remember the time I tried to help you lose your virginity to an acoustic guitar at the age of 48? Remember how she kept threatening me that "I ain't gonna take care uh no bastard baby wardy gonna try an bring home. I don't understand it all well in the first place. How he gonna stick his willy in that monstrosity? He gotta needle dick from his poppa is what happened. You too, needle dick, I changed you enough to know a thin strip of spaghetti when I see one."
That bitch was evil.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 17:57:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
GLALL -- I spent the last hour and a half searching the apartment for weed, but my bastard dragon must've eaten it all again. He's so lucky that he has a built in lighter. at any rate, because i couldn't find any weed, I did the next best thing, I turned on my Limited Edition copy of 'Gods and Generals.' After trying to watch it for an hour, she fell asleep, or went lucid... one or the other. Then about five minutes ago she woke up and realized it was still at the same shitty spot she'd fallen asleep to, so she blew her brains out.
Honestly, I can't blame her.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-11-29 17:31:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:29:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto + 2 for humor...and for Lori Laughlin.
I would seriously consider doing her again.
_______________________________________________
Agin the wall, agin the floor, agin the bed. . .
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-29 17:02:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-11-29 17:00:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kindred (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:29:14 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:17:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
'Steve who gives a shit'
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-11-29 16:20:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
They took mom off the meds??? Holy christ, there goes Oregon if we don't act fast.......try getting her stoned ASAP, wardy. Hurry before she starts chewing on razors.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-11-29 16:18:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funniest thing I've seen all day
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 16:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/books/11/29/obit.berenstain.ap/index.html -- it is a sad day for bear lovers everywhere. in other news, curious george is still on the run, and is believed to be armed and dangerous.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 16:11:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, it definitely cut out on me. jesus, i'm not sure when it did, but if you have my copy of 'the scarlet letter' i'd really appreciate you send it back when you're through with it. nate hawthorne is my favorite. well i think that's all from here... was there anything else i wanted to say? hmm... oh, mom is doing fine, she got out of the hospital yesterday, they said something about not being able to afford to continue keeping her on the meds with her insurance, so she just sits in the cellar and rambles at the light hanging in the center of the room... yeah... this is getting really long, so i'm just gonna let you go.
thanks, buh bye.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 16:09:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
indeed. goddammit. i can send my sword along with the box set, which is just short of three feet long and has a shiny handle. pay no attention to the hooker blood on the blade, it is as far as recent testing has shown, disease free. also, do you have my copy of 'the scarlet letter'? i loaned it out somebody and for the life of me i can't remember.
anyhoooooo, the dragon's name is roger tillyfink, not that it matters. fuck, it might've been easier to slay him if you didn't know his name, you know, cause now it's kinda personal. fuck. well, jesus... is this thing still recording? i heard it beep, but i don't know
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-11-29 16:05:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like farting in bed and then pulling the sheets over my head so I can bask in the smell of my farts.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-11-29 15:57:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Godammit.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 15:49:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
GLALL -- i would very much love to give you a copy of the coveted 'jodie sweetin - smokin' and chokin'' boxset, however the fire breathing dragon in my closet would probably be upset, and i would be an asshole if i didn't warn you that you may have to slay him in order to hang on to your copy.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-11-29 15:43:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You hook me up with the Jodie Sweetin porn boxset and I promise to be your guardian angel for seven years.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-11-29 15:40:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You were hungry and you didn't save any for me? Asshole.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-11-29 15:31:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 15:25:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-11-29 15:22:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't know models liked Sega. Thanks for the inside hollywood info.
-----------------------------------------
no problem, mr. nerfherder sir man. other things models like:
1) balloons
2) children (but not in the wierd, i want to have sleepovers michael jackson way, not that'd i'd decline an invite.... from either of them)
3) police cars
4) snapple
5) snapple laced with rufies
6) not me
that should do you good for a little bit. let me know how it works ooot.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-11-29 15:22:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't know models liked Sega. Thanks for the inside hollywood info.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-29 15:12:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd do Veronica again, too. Wait until you get a load of her in that Archies comic strip.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 15:04:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-23 16:25:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
These are the kinds of posts that Shlongy enjoys.
Can you do a "Where are they now: The Archies" next?
------------------------------------------
this is from the scoooooooby doobie post, and i forgot to respond to it.
mr. shlongy man, i would love to do an "archies" edition, however i'm afraid i never read the critically acclaimed comic strip book show? i don't know anything about it, not that i would really need to in order to write non-sensical bullshit, but it helps.
so to make a short answer long, i will attempt to track down this archie and his band of polar bear clubbing friends, if only to appease my imaginary uber friend, shlongy. i will however, state now and in said post that not all of the information is necessarily factual, only due to the fact that i haven't been tracking archie and his gang of popsicle stealing friends for very long.
schweet.
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-11-29 15:02:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Steve--who gives a shit." Fucking priceless. B@W!!!
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 15:00:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
has anyone seen my wallet? fuck...
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:44:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY! BOB SAGET!!!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:41:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:29:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto + 2 for humor...and for Lori Laughlin.
I would seriously consider doing her again.
----
Doing her what? Her laundry? Or are you still clinging to your belief that you would ever have a chance with a broad like that?
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:38:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i was drunk for the first one... not that i didn't skip class and just continue drinking, so really i'm pretty buzzed right now, but still... it shouldn't count... no one read it anyway... more argument... more argument.... an excuse as to why i'm wearing a dress... more argument... is anyone still listening?... more argument... george bush, george carlin, and meryl streep walk into a bar... more argument... george carlin says "ouch".... more argument... george bush says something incomprehnsible by modern english scholars.... more argument...
i ate all the pie in the fridge.
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:35:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't DJ Kirk Cameron's sister? I fucking hate him. I'd fuck her in the ass just so I could go up to Kirk Cameron and say "I FUCKED YOUR SISTER IN THE ASS! WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW?!" And then I'd probably eat something, because butt sex and taunting people is hard work.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:32:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One post per day, n00b.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto + 2 for humor...and for Lori Laughlin.
I would seriously consider doing her again.
Submitted by Kindred (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:29:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:17:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
'Steve who gives a shit'
This was teh awesome.
------------------------------------
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:24:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:24:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are my new favorite.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:23:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
that would be swell if this made it to boooooored at work, but i don't know how that happens, so if you don't know how something happens, it usually means it won't happen.
which is why i've never had sex.
Submitted by punkerrjess (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:21:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't know there was a nose picking disorder.
That must be what I have.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:21:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeah and the OBNOXIOUS little kids who played michelle's little friends. they are probably addicted to crack, or something
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:20:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:18:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:09:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
But what about Comet?
---------------------
Comet -- Auditioned for a remake of the Animal Planet reproduction of 'Old Yellar.' Of course he got it, but his trainer, as gifted as she was, could not get Comet to act like he had rabies. Due to budget cuts, they couldn't afford to get a better trainer, not that Comet would've allowed it anyways, so they simply bought a vial of rabies off of Ebay and injected it into the dog's anus.
The part at the end where Benny shoots Old Yellar isn't acting.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:17:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'Steve who gives a shit'
This was teh awesome.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:14:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't realize that smarmy queer ass phoney as fuck show had that many people on it.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:11:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always figured Dave Coulier would be brought low by a stray Jackalope attack.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:11:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:10:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
B@w
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:09:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But what about Comet?
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:08:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-29 14:04:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
b@w