After the Pandemic: The Enemy of My Enemy (part 29 -- CONCLUSION!!): Long Live the Kings (2102 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.96 on 54 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Caes (View user info) at 2005-11-30 10:25:08 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61238 -- Introduction -- Jack McCallum
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61350 -- Variant C -- Jack McCallum
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61505 -- Part 1: Brianna
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61614 -- Part 2: Khalid
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63145 -- Part 3: The Meeting
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63504 -- Part 4: The Conversation
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63663 -- Part 5: The Story of Manhattan
http://www.ubersite.com/m/64024 -- Part 6: On the Streets of Jersey
http://www.ubersite.com/m/64325 -- Part 7: Tome
http://www.ubersite.com/m/64611 -- Part 8: Faing
http://www.ubersite.com/m/65301 -- Part 9: The Gathering
http://www.ubersite.com/m/65871 -- Part 10: Men Amongst Giants
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66684 -- Part 11: The Temptress and The Aristocrat
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66752 -- Part 12: Trial by Blood
http://www.ubersite.com/m/67296 -- Part 13: Words and Swords
http://www.ubersite.com/m/67769 -- Part 14: Details and Divinity
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68760 -- Part 15: Into the Breach
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69588 -- Part 16: The Ambassador of New York
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69741 -- Part 17: The Devil in the Details
http://www.ubersite.com/m/70550 -- Part 18: The Joker's Wild
http://www.ubersite.com/m/71764 -- Part 19: The Remnants
http://www.ubersite.com/m/72757 -- Part 20: From Below
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73718 -- Part 21: Rise and Shine
http://www.ubersite.com/m/74077 -- Part 22: Hush Little Baby
http://www.ubersite.com/m/74577 -- Part 23: The Prince and the Aristocrat
http://www.ubersite.com/m/75490 -- Part 24: The Empty State Building
http://www.ubersite.com/m/76214 -- Part 25: Come Out and Play
http://www.ubersite.com/m/76956 -- Part 26: Staring Down the Monster
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77906 -- part 27: Kings and Bullies
http://www.ubersite.com/m/79296 -- Part 28: Reclamation
They trickled into the heart of the broken city like poisoned water, smelling of rot and reeking of menace. The call had gone out from the Empire Building, traveling from captains to squad leaders to the lowliest grunt, and they had returned.
When they arrived, they found the entrance blocked and closed. The officers began debating the wisest course of action. There was no more communication from within. No instruction. Attack strategies were discussed by the officers, and the rest waited, prowling about the gruesome, moving walls of their home.
Tyler looked down at them from a window on the second floor. He counted roughly fifty variants. "Shit, is that all of them?"
Brianna stood by his side. "There haven't been any new arrivals for almost fifteen minutes. That's probably most of them, if not all."
Tyler watched the monsters. They didn't look so dangerous from up here. But of course, he knew better. They would have to play this very carefully.
"Everything's ready," Nate called to him.
"Good," Tyler replied. "They're getting antsy down there."
Bashir and Khalid stood a little further back from the window. Bashir had slung his severed arm over his shoulder, and looked typically unimpressed by everything around him.
Nate looked at his own broken and splinted arm, then back at Bashir. "Doesn't that hurt?"
The assassin turned his head slightly to look at the human with his gray eyes, and when he spoke, his voice was dry and cold.
"Do you truly wish to find out?"
Nate mumbled "Um, no," and shuffled a few steps away.
Tyler chuckled despite himself. For some reason the fact that he knew Bashir probably wasn't kidding was a lot more funny to him than it should be. He took Brianna's hand in his.
"Let's go," he said.
*************
Just as the variants were gathering into attack groups, the looming doors of the Empire State Building swung open of their own accord. Nothing emerged. The open portal beckoned them like a predator's mouth inviting the prey into its belly. Without hesitating, the variants accepted.
They found the lobby empty, except for a small group of people at the far end. The variants broke into a run, smiling terribly. The human in the lead tensed, afraid. But when he spoke, his voice was steady and clear.
"STOP." He commanded, and raised his hand. Hanging from his clenched fist by its ponytail was the Butcher's head.
The variants skidded to a halt. Murmurs and gasps rolled through their ranks. The Butcher defeated! By a human! For five years no leech, no variant was able to so much as injure him in any of the challenges he met. And he had met many.
Tyler paused for a moment as the hybrids looked at each other uncertainly. The Butcher's head swayed gently from his grip, golden eyes blinking.
"This is what's left of the Butcher of York. Overlord of the Manhattan. Maximus Rex. King Priest of the New World." He dropped the head like it was a piece of garbage. It hit the floor and wobbled in place ungracefully.
"By your own laws, your loyalty is with me now. Your King is dead. Long live the new King."
Tyler felt cold sweat race down his neck. This was going to get very ugly if they didn't accept him. His free hand stayed loose and motionless. He only had to point to the ground, and Nate would click the detonator - and then this place would turn into another slaughterhouse.
But the variants had been conditioned to obey. One by one, they dropped to one obedient knee, heads bowed -- ever so slightly. Muscles that Tyler didn't even know he was clenching relaxed.
"A challenge." A voice called out. A variant strode forward to stand at the head of the bowed group. "I am Captain Marcus of the 4th patrol squadron."
Tyler looked at the variant. He looked like all the others - scabbing, rotting, deadly. "You're challenging me?" He asked. "You're challenging your new Overlord for control of the kingdom?" Tyler almost winced at the way he was talking. He was sure he sounded like an ass. But they seemed to be buying it.
"I am," Marcus sneered. "Do you accept?"
"I don't know you - you're nothing to me. First, you have to make it past one of my champions. Only then will you earn the right to face me."
"I'll demolish your excuse for a champion." The variant laughed. "Then I'll pick my teeth clean with your bones, meat sack."
"Are you sure?" Tyler squinted at him. "This is a contest to the death. There's no turning back, you know."
Captain Marcus laughed as he stripped off his officer's vest. He flexed fingers that could crush stone. "Stop stalling, human! My throne is getting cold!"
"If that's what you want," Tyler said, sighing theatrically. "Begin."
A jagged black shape shot through the air from behind Tyler's entourage, leaping through the air like an attacking shadow. Before Captain Marcus could move, Domokos had latched on to him like a frenzied nightmare. Domokos stabbed his fingers into the variant's mouth and hooked his thumb into the soft underside of his jaw. With a gleeful screech, he tore Marcus' lower mandible off his face. The Captain's surprised scream died in a gurgle as Domokos ripped his throat away. In less than ten seconds, Domokos had torn several very important pieces away from Marcus's body. Thirty seconds after that, he squatted over the variant's body, motionless now except for the erratic twitching of his legs, and began to dine.
"Well," Tyler said, feigning mild distaste while he tried not to vomit. "It looks like I'll be warming the throne for a while longer." Tyler scanned the piss-coloured eyes of the rest of the group. "Does anyone else have a challenge?"
Domokos slurped and smacked his lips as he chewed Marcus's cheek down to the bone.
"No one?"
Nothing.
"Good. We're all in agreement then. So..." Tyler faltered slightly, distracted by the crunching sound Domokos was making. He had made his way down to Marcus's ribs.
"Rise," Khalid whispered to him.
"Uh, rise." Tyler said. Somewhat surprisingly, the variant soldiers stood crisply and snapped to attention.
Okay. That's fucked up. He thought.
"You're probably wondering what my plans are. I know we've been making preparations to attack the Sanguinary. The Butcher has kept you waiting a long time on this stinking rock - planning, thinking, strategizing. Years and years you've been trapped here, with years more to go before being able to set yourselves loose on the Outside Lands.
"Well, you won't be waiting much longer. We're moving the timetable up. By the end of the month, we march on New Jersey."
*************
Tyler slumped in an easy chair in the Butcher's old quarters. He was exhausted. His injuries were mending, but far too slowly for his liking. His men had cleaned up the important areas of the building and sealed off others in the past few weeks, making it a much more comfortable and less terrifying environment. If it weren't for the fact that scores of viral-mutated killing machines who wanted to eat his flesh were wandering the halls, this place would be downright livable.
He had wanted to take the crucified zombie corpses from the base of the building, but after discussing it with Khalid, Tyler decided against it. He didn't want to risk appearing squeamish in front of his newly acquired "subjects."
No one else had challenged his authority since the night Tyler first took power. Regardless, Tyler never went anywhere without an escort. Usually Katsuo, or Bashir. Abayome had reattached his arm, and it was healed almost to the point of being functional again. Domokos had taken to the sewers and made it his home. Tyler remembered how disturbingly happy the vampyre was when they had been forced to take to the sewers after their failed attempt to take the building. He could see him now, clinging to the walls, stroking a plump rat in his hands and chittering to the rest of his "pretty children" as they swarmed around him. Domokos had been a lifesaver to them all, but Tyler could not say he was sorry to see him go. And hell, he knew where to find him if they needed him...though whether or not Domokos would lift a clawed finger to help them now that he'd gotten what he wants was another matter.
Cash and Faing were "supervising" the excavation of Stuyvesant's Passage. Tyler was so overjoyed when he found out the structure survived, he cheered as if the Yankees had won the World Series. After making contact with Heather, they had received more manpower to accomplish their goals. Seeing the rest of the Lukers again had given morale a sharp boost that was desperately needed.
They found Ferdy and Gus's bodies. They laid them down beside Anthony on the observation deck on the 106th floor and set a pyre. Tyler had seen plenty of death by now...he was used to it. But when they struck the match, he cried more than Brianna did. He bawled like a child. The flames lit up the night sky and roared up the antennae like a battle cry. It was visible from practically everywhere on the island. No humans were invited, but Khalid and his kin held a service of their own for Svetlana.
Rick's body was thrown into the Hudson.
They were almost ready. A few days, and they would send the remnants of the Butcher's army through the Passage to run wild in the heart of Hemophagist territory. It had been a topic of hot debate, but eventually Tyler's side won out. There were only a handful of variants left. With only a ghost of a plan and a shattered chain of command, the variants would be a costly distraction to the Sanguinary instead of the powerful threat they would have been under the Butcher's careful strategy. And while the leeches scrambled around trying to hunt down an unknown number of variant infiltrators, the Immune Resistance would be free to take action.
Tyler had contacted I.R. and told them how they took Manhattan - leaving out the parts about the ancient magical vampyres, of course. He had been granted two jumps in rank on the spot.
Great. More authority, more responsibility. Just what he needed.
The I.R. was pulling out all the stops. Once word had reached Central Command, they suddenly had helicopters and heavy ordinance at their disposal. Certain mines in the rivers were being quietly defused to form secret paths. The I.R. knew the location of several breeding pens in the New York area, and had the escape routes well scouted. Key points in the Sanguinary infrastructure were being targeted. Sleeper agents were activated. The leech government would be caught unprepared and thrown into total disarray. Hopefully.
And something else. Central had sent Tyler 15 litres of an experimental fluid, coded LBV-4. Apparently I.R. scientists synthesized some sort of anti-leech virus from extrapolating the RNA from the HIV virus. The formula is still in the prototype stage, but Central reported promising results. Before sending the variants in, Tyler planned to inject them with LBV-4. There was little data on how LBV-4 would affect C variants, but research suggests it might be able to get passed from a C variant to the A variants through blood transmission.
Tyler was pretty confident there would be lots of blood.
Tyler had forwarded most of the Doctor's notes, much to the giddy excitement of Central's biologists. Apparently the Doctor was a sadist AND a genius. Central Command told Tyler that his notes had jumped their research ahead ten years.
It was all coming together. It was all happening, and happening right now. Tyler closed his eyes. His head was reeling with a mountain of plans and details. He thought of Tony, and how much he would love all of this, how excited and focused he would be. "The Devil is in the details," Tony would say, before launching into another exhaustive triple-check of some tiny inventory list. Tyler smiled to himself.
"Resting?"
Tyler jumped at the rich, booming voice, then winced at the pain in his side. The rib that Rick had broken hadn't quite mended.
"Fuck! Don't DO that!"
"Apologies," Khalid said with a dazzling grin.
"Sneaky fuckers..." Tyler muttered under his breath. "Where have you been the past few days?" Khalid was often in and out, attending to a number of strategic matters. But this time he had been gone longer than usual.
"Scouting. I returned to Tome and told him our tale, as he requested. He was quite thrilled. Though I think he misses Bashir."
"Well, talkative guy like that, who wouldn't?" He quipped.
Both men chuckled, then were silent for a moment.
"We've made history, Tyler." Khalid offered.
"I know. I know we've done big things here." He ran his hand through his hair, feeling the cuts and bumps that were almost healed. "But what we've lost...what we almost lost..." He trailed off. "I wonder if it's worth it."
"Freedom comes at a heavy price, my friend," the Arab said solemnly. "I understand the toll it takes, more than you know. But the fruit of timidity is neither gain nor loss. I know you didn't ask for this role, but you've done well."
"I'm such a fraud," Tyler laughed. "I'm not the leader, you know? That was what Tony was good at. I'm support. I've always been good at that. This strategy, all these big decisions...it's all bullshit, I'm faking it all. And, and, I'm fooling everybody!" He laughed again, this time with amazement. "Everybody except Bree. I can't believe they're listening to me. I shouldn't be doing this shit...it's just too big for me."
"You underestimate yourself. Even a tiny body can harbor a great soul. You have such a soul. And so does Brianna." Khalid placed his hand on Tyler's shoulder. "There is great strength in both of you. I have seen it. Alone, you are formidable. Together, you are invincible." Khalid looked into Tyler's eyes and grinned broadly. "And you are not alone. I am at your service, O mighty Overlord." He bowed with a flourish.
Tyler laughed despite himself. "Very funny."
They looked at each other, and a moment passed between them. It was a rare moment that proud men have, a moment of respect and reassurance.
After that, Khalid politely excused himself to tend to other matters, leaving Tyler alone with his thoughts once more. Brianna was out training some of the greener recruits that I.R. sent them last week. She wouldn't be back for a while. Tyler decided to take a walk. As he left his room and made his way down the hallway, Katsuo fell into step behind him, hand on his katana. As usual, Tyler didn't notice him until he was already there.
Tyler made his way to the entrance of the Empire State Building, the building he and his men had reclaimed. His eyes went up to the top of the doorway, to an object that had been bolted there. It was the Butcher's head. It had been almost a month, but still his piss-yellow eyes boiled with impotent fire.
"I know you can hear me." Tyler said. "I want you to know something. You took something from the people that lived here. You killed everyone and everything because you wanted to play Napoleon, or some gay shit like that. You took Manhattan and turned it into your own little sandbox. And what did you do?
"Nothing. You didn't do a damn thing here, except maybe beat on people that were smaller than you because it made you feel big. Well, the little people hit you back. And now you're a damn hood ornament." Tyler examined the Butcher's silent head for a moment.
"It's too good for you. We can't fix what you did, we can't. But we can use it. We're going to take our world back.
"Just you watch."
Tyler walked back into the building. The Butcher could not reply. He could only stare out at the looming city that once had been his.
Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies.
-- Arabic Proverb
User Reviews
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-04-25 12:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just read the whole series over the space of two days and I really, really enjoyed it. I was seriously rejoicing when Rick died! I was worried that you wouldn't end it with the humans/vampyres winning, just to dash all of our hopes or something. I like how it ended, great job!
Submitted by SantaClaus (user info) at 2006-09-19 13:57:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-08 17:12:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2s all around for someone getting pissed at me enough for not one but two uberboard messages!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-08 16:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There are a solid 15 posts of +2 streaks with 30 or more reviews. That is stupid. I am weeding it all out by giving every one of them a +1; that way posts that have 1.99 with 200+ reviews gets best ever.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've finally finished your series...
What can be said? It was easily one of the greatest things I've ever read.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was awesome to so many degrees.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-10 21:11:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-30 19:21:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Awwww, look at that -- you cocksmokers are making me blush!
Seriously, this is high praise, and I'm very flattered (and pleased) that you enjoyed this story so much. As for turning it into a book; maybe someday. I'm just too worn out by it (and oh yeah, the rest of my life) right now. Thanks for the encouragement, but I have doubts that I could 'make it' as a professional writer. I can see some problems with my stuff, but more importantly, I enjoy writing, but maybe not enough.
I mean, writing a big story like this is hard and it takes a lot of effort to do a decent job; and after I got a few parts into it, it began to become a chore more than a joy, you know what I mean? I'm not like Jack McCallum, who bangs out three short stories over lunch because he loves writing so much, he just HAS to. More power to him -- he's got the talent and the passion.
Again, thanks very much, guys.
p.s. Jack -- finish one of your three series!
______________________________________________________________________________________
My Dear Caesar,
"Problems with your stuff" .... That's what good editors do.
Just write the book and shut up. I've sent word to my buddy Brutus, and he
said he has a whole pile of new daggers. And March 15 is just around the corner. . .
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-03-10 20:48:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I WANT A FUCKING BOOK OUT OF THIS DAMNIT!
Submitted by Viper_04 (user info) at 2005-12-29 00:31:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear God it's finished
Thanks caes...there goes my reason to live...bastard!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-12-26 21:06:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mama is proud of you for finishing this, baby boy!
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-12-22 22:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so it's been a while, should you have a whole new novel to write for us?
you should call it "after, After the Pandemic: the Enemy of my Enemy - The friend of my friend" it could be a tale of romance and fobidden love between one man and his turnip. The other turnips get jealous and plot to kill him with a nasty stomach infection but instead causes him to produce an airborne virus with his farts. A virus that turns people into David Schwimmer.
Now there's a book I would read
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-12-22 00:00:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks Daniel.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-12-21 21:55:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So wish I'd had time to keep up with this series of yours (and others). But Nature is a bitch of late. It's a testament to your talent, though, that even as disoriented as I am within the sphere of this serial, any given episode can enthrall me. +++
Submitted by notyou (user info) at 2005-12-21 16:06:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FallenZer0 (user info) at 2005-12-13 19:43:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
just spent 3 days reading the entire series. i have attained some new form of enlightenment or something.. thank you! +2 does not say enough!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-12-10 02:16:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Uberversary to me.
Submitted by bigbabylons (user info) at 2005-12-08 07:08:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmm i would give this a 1 where it not for the rest of the story, which was fucking fantastic.
This just seemed like you got bored with it.
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2005-12-03 18:22:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow... that was awesome.
In the immortal words of Dr. Seus.
I read it all by myself.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-12-02 13:43:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's.... it's .... it's over?
*feels withdrawl kicking in*
Submitted by Jimmo (user info) at 2005-12-02 11:24:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wonderfull, shall review the rest.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-02 10:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There are no words.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-12-01 23:39:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's easy, I just wait for Rad to come along and give it a +1 because perfect 2's offend him. Only then do I know peace...
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-01 18:54:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
how can you stand having all these +2 streaks?
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-12-01 12:49:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I appreciate the insight on my last post. I will be reading this series, the moment that I have a bit of free time. Again, thank you.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-12-01 07:31:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:22:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
you and maccallum need to sit down, and figure out how you can bring his Smith character into the IR.
**********************8
Tim -- read McCallum's last post. He does something pretty cool.
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2005-12-01 00:28:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This entire series has been incredible. I am sorry to see it go but I guess I can understand that you are relieved to have finished. I have been with this series from the very beginning and yes it is funny (and excellent) that we convinced you to conitinue from a two parter to a substantial 29 part series.
If you want my opinion you should definately consider doing a series on the Japanese samurai who got cursed by the Demon. Each piece could either be stand alone which would stop it from sometimes feeling like a chore or you could limit each time period to a few posts.
Whatever you decide to do I think will be pretty awesome.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-30 22:53:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-11-30 21:58:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
p.s. I hate it when something like this is quickly pushed off the front page by multiple post idiots and crap posts.
*********************
Me too. I was actually going to post this last night, and then I realized that 28 of the 40-odd posts that fit on the front page had the title: 'part 1 girls i've dated'.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-11-30 21:58:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-30 19:21:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
p.s. Jack -- finish one of your three series!
--
I have three series?
p.s. I hate it when something like this is quickly pushed off the front page by multiple post idiots and crap posts.
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2005-11-30 21:00:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Take the rest of the day off.
(Well done. Work to be proud of.)
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-30 20:27:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:06:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
although i do find it absolutely hilarious that this was only supposed to be a 2 part story and then when you decided to continue it you said "well, maybe I'll make it a 10-parter".
Part 29!!
*********************
Yeah, that's hilarious. Laugh it up.
grumble mutter curse
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-11-30 20:19:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I almost missed this.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-30 19:21:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:52:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is this it? Can I begin reading them, now?
I need them all to be finished before I start. Please tell me I can.
*****************
Yes, you can. This series is done like dinner. However, that's not to say that some day I wouldn't like to come back to this and keep the story going. Just not anytime soon.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-30 19:21:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Awwww, look at that -- you cocksmokers are making me blush!
Seriously, this is high praise, and I'm very flattered (and pleased) that you enjoyed this story so much. As for turning it into a book; maybe someday. I'm just too worn out by it (and oh yeah, the rest of my life) right now. Thanks for the encouragement, but I have doubts that I could 'make it' as a professional writer. I can see some problems with my stuff, but more importantly, I enjoy writing, but maybe not enough.
I mean, writing a big story like this is hard and it takes a lot of effort to do a decent job; and after I got a few parts into it, it began to become a chore more than a joy, you know what I mean? I'm not like Jack McCallum, who bangs out three short stories over lunch because he loves writing so much, he just HAS to. More power to him -- he's got the talent and the passion.
Again, thanks very much, guys.
p.s. Jack -- finish one of your three series!
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-11-30 13:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-11-30 13:30:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to make sweet sweet love to your brain.
MMMMM BRAIIIIINS!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-11-30 13:19:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well hot damn. Now I feel all inspired and shit.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-11-30 13:19:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And I forgot to say, thanks for not killing off my nephew!
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:52:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is this it? Can I begin reading them, now?
I need them all to be finished before I start. Please tell me I can.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:48:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this final installment.
It's always good to leave the door open for more.
That way, you can revisit the world you created.
Hell, I could start a whole new series about Smith as a boy, or about Smith's kids and grandkids. Remember, they will have a whole new world to explore some day, and I did not say with certainty that the war against the leeches had been won. That's why the somewhat self-serving Smith fucked off to an island.
Good stuff, T.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:45:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:22:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
you and maccallum need to sit down, and figure out how you can bring his Smith character into the IR.
--
I was all ready to go with something similar when I got fucked by my cuntmunch piece of shit windows based PC here at work and lost everything.
I'll post it soon.
Fucking motherfuck.
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:28:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes Yes YES!!!!!!!!!!! you just made my day......I am trying to think of appropriate
adjectives to describe how wonderful this was.......and am failing miserably.
Oh, and here is a thought:
"Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-30 10:36:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
A few things I wanted to go into detail with, but never got around to because of the detail involved...
Further the relationship between Tyler and Brianna.
Begin a love triangle between Khalid, Brianna, and Tyler.
Flesh out the personalities of Brianna and Tyler a little more, make them more distinct.
Delve into the history of Bashir and Khalid.
Have one of the Kin succumb to bloodlust and kill/attack a Luker, making Khalid intervene. I kind of toyed with this, showing Cash taking an interest in Brianna, but then I never went anywhere with it.
Spend more time in Jersey with the Lukers, developing more characters to follow. I found I kept having to make people up on the spot in later installments (e.g. Neil, Nate, Sykes...) because I, uh, killed off most of my main human characters.
Bring the leech society into more prominence during the early part of the story.
Work out a more concrete organizational structure for the Butcher's 'government' -- I was kind of flying by the seat of my pants there.
Work out a better ending. It doesn't please me...I had an idea for something to happen, but it would have taken too long.
Involve the human resistance more.
Involve zombies more -- but I found they just didn't fit into the story the way I had set it up.
Have the Lukers discover a guerilla cell of human survivors that were still fighting in Manhattan (someone gave me this idea in a review...really good idea).
Someone also suggested having the Butcher be an ancient vampyre with a history with Khalid, which would have been cool, but contrary to my original plan.
There's some other stuff too, but that's all I can think off from the top of my head. And now I have to go to work. Be back tonight."
You can still do all of these (or many of them) when you flesh this story out TO PUBLISH
IT!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:22:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you and maccallum need to sit down, and figure out how you can bring his Smith character into the IR.
<italics>
Smith steps off the boat, onto the pier, and pauses for a moment to collect his thoughts. Awaiting him in an abandonded store front across the street are four members of what has become known as "IR" - Immune Resistance." Catching wind of Smith's European adventures, they sent for him, insisting for...
</italics>
yeah, like that except not shitty and way more awesome.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:21:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Marvelous, marvelous, marvelous!
This has been without a doubt the best series I've read on this site. I don't know what your situation is or what you plan on doing with your life but I have no doubt whatsoever that you could make it as a professional writer.
oh and as for
"Someone also suggested having the Butcher be an ancient vampyre with a history with Khalid, which would have been cool, but contrary to my original plan."
That was me! w00t w00t! I still say it would've rocked but I did love the way you went with the Butcher.
Very, very well done you are now officially the very first recipient of the mbstateside auto+2 for life award.
Congratulations you must be very proud.
Submitted by garcon_fou (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:19:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:11:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't bring myself to look up sweet adjectives to describe how phenominal this entire series was.
at least 50 times in its reading, i found myself stopping; taking a step back, and saying, "man, this guy is one fucking hell of a fucking hell of a writer. just wow."
I don't know how you do it, but you did.
i was more captivated by this than I was by The DaVinci Code, The Hatchet, or anything else i've ever read for that matter.
and i'm sad that its over. Kind of like breaking up after a great relationship, and then seeing that person years later and being truly happy for them. that's how i feel right now.
After The Pandemic - The Enemy of My Enemy - The Rest of the World - Part 1 - New Jersey
fucking do it you goddamn pussy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:06:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
although i do find it absolutely hilarious that this was only supposed to be a 2 part story and then when you decided to continue it you said "well, maybe I'll make it a 10-parter".
Part 29!!
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:03:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
I am actually a little gutted that this is over. You best get writing another caes.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-11-30 10:58:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr The Caes - I cannot convey just how cool this entire series has been! I have loved reading it from day to day desperately waiting for the enxt installment. Many things have hooked me on Ubersite but no other series has done it with a Butchers Hook! I was absolutely stuck on these.
Your writing style flows well and doesn't over describe whats going on. you still leave enough the imagination for everyone to enjoy the story.
As i've said before this will go down in the halls of memory as an absolute classic. A well written masterpiece. I think you should consider (seriously) getting either this or another piece of your work published.
Good work that man.
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-11-30 10:56:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, what an awesome, awesome story. This is one of the few things that's kept me coming back to Uber for the last few months, and it's been well worth it. Thanks, for all your hard work Caes.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-11-30 10:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Masterful and sublime.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-30 10:36:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A few things I wanted to go into detail with, but never got around to because of the detail involved...
Further the relationship between Tyler and Brianna.
Begin a love triangle between Khalid, Brianna, and Tyler.
Flesh out the personalities of Brianna and Tyler a little more, make them more distinct.
Delve into the history of Bashir and Khalid.
Have one of the Kin succumb to bloodlust and kill/attack a Luker, making Khalid intervene. I kind of toyed with this, showing Cash taking an interest in Brianna, but then I never went anywhere with it.
Spend more time in Jersey with the Lukers, developing more characters to follow. I found I kept having to make people up on the spot in later installments (e.g. Neil, Nate, Sykes...) because I, uh, killed off most of my main human characters.
Bring the leech society into more prominence during the early part of the story.
Work out a more concrete organizational structure for the Butcher's 'government' -- I was kind of flying by the seat of my pants there.
Work out a better ending. It doesn't please me...I had an idea for something to happen, but it would have taken too long.
Involve the human resistance more.
Involve zombies more -- but I found they just didn't fit into the story the way I had set it up.
Have the Lukers discover a guerilla cell of human survivors that were still fighting in Manhattan (someone gave me this idea in a review...really good idea).
Someone also suggested having the Butcher be an ancient vampyre with a history with Khalid, which would have been cool, but contrary to my original plan.
There's some other stuff too, but that's all I can think off from the top of my head. And now I have to go to work. Be back tonight.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-11-30 10:35:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are a fucking god among men.
MORE!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-11-30 10:28:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OH THANK GOD IT'S OVER
And no, no, a THOUSAND times no, I'm not going to write a story where they fight the leeches. But thank you for asking.
Hope you guys enjoyed the story and weren't let down by the end. Personally I felt it kind of petered out in the last two installments -- evidence of lazy planning on my part, as well as a general fatigue for the story...it just stretched out too long and got too big for me to focus on properly.
Anyway, it's been fun. Thanks Jack (y'bastard) for setting this whole deal up. I'll never forgive you. :)
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-11-30 10:27:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/80119
You posted yours right before mine!
???