Bon Jovi: Professional Assclowns (716 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.07 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Nick <nickuhlig.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-11-30 11:37:57 EST
Why the fuck does the band Bon Jovi, selfishly named after the lead singer, still exist? Their crowning achievement was "Slippery When Wet" in 1986, but they keep coming back with more aging limp-dick pop rock to torture hardworking music enthusiasts. The only thing they do is add one more layer of shit to sift through when you're looking in the discount bin for old albums forgotten or unappreciated.
Bon Jovi are officially no-talent hacks in my opinion. I mean, just look at the last few songs they're released. Haven't people noticed that pretty much every song they're released since 2000 has the words "live my life" or "it's my life" or "I won't do what I don't want to" or some other such shit? Okay, we get it. You want to control yourself and live by nobody else's rules. Funny, could have sworn you're tailoring your sound and image just so that you'll get airtime and conform to the music industry's current perception of what is "hot".
Not that other bands haven't done this. The above only makes them mediocre, but what really took the cake was when they made that stupid video for "Have a Nice Day". I was watching television for the first time in about four months the other day and I saw it on the TV and I swear to god I thought it was the Black Eyed Peas' "Where Is the Love?" video. And more or less, it was. Bon Jovi completely stole the idea for that music video. Little square logo supposed to mean something only to the people who use it, single handedly taking over the country's subculture. Whoop dee fucking doo. It was a cheeky idea when the Peas did it, but copying the video verbatim was just ridiculous. Did the band really think anyone wouldn't see through that shit? They even used the crop design idea. They came up with absolutely nothing new and actually thought it was good enough to play.
It's like re-electing Bush, or re-uniting INXS, or Jewel publishing her poetry. It makes you dumber for having seen it happen, it lessens your faith that the human race is out to accomplish something. It makes all the accomplishments in science, sociology, even religion, seem in vain because the majority of people JUST DON'T GET IT.
I LOSE SLEEP OVER THIS.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-30 22:16:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm with you on this one but sadly, even I can't +2 any post with the words "Bon Jovi" in the title.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-11-30 21:48:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
fuck all music.
except TOOL.
yeah thats right, blow me if you disagree.
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-11-30 21:39:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And Maroon 5 isn't that bad. Nothing special, but not bad.
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-11-30 21:35:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucking right I hve taste in music. Only thing is tht I've been out of the loop for while so lot of the new stuff I am not up on.
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-11-30 14:16:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ok i take it back i just read http://www.ubersite.com/m/55272
and you actually do have taste in music. this post was pretty weak though
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-11-30 14:13:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This could have been a lot better.
And why do I have the nagging suspicion that you think a totally ghey band like maroon 5 is "way awesomer".
Submitted by smokingloon (user info) at 2005-11-30 13:27:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Say what you will about Bon Jovi (or BJ for short--hmmmmmm......). You definiately supported your argument.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-11-30 12:24:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is for the title alone. I want to smack that bastard Bon Jovi. I'll fucking smack him with Richie Sambora and everything else I can get my hands on. Just give me a fucking chance.
Men with perms...<mutter mutter grumble grumble>
I HATE THIS BAND.
sorry
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-11-30 12:14:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bon Jovi makes baby Jeebus cry.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-30 12:08:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:45:22 (#)
Ranking: 1
People came from as far as exit 12!!!
------
hahahahahahaHA
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:54:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The title promised sooo much more.
A solid "worth reading."
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:52:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Boondock (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:41:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
It was a good name, until that no-talent ass-clown showed up and started winning Grammys.
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:48:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah they SUCK!! although i do weep whenever i hear the song "Always"
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:47:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"It's like re-electing Bush, or re-uniting INXS, or Jewel publishing her poetry. It makes you dumber for having seen it happen, it lessens your faith that the human race is out to accomplish something. It makes all the accomplishments in science, sociology, even religion, seem in vain because the majority of people JUST DON'T GET IT."
See this is how you finish a rant strong.
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:45:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
People came from as far as exit 12!!!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:41:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
the title=+2
the post=meh,could have been hilarious so Im taking 1 away
Submitted by Boondock (user info) at 2005-11-30 11:41:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It was a good name, until that no-talent ass-clown showed up and started winning Grammys.