So... do I get the 31st off or not? (801 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: 0.56 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by bluto (View user info) at 2005-11-30 21:12:31 EST
Ok, I'm a smartass sometimes. This explains why I find humor in leaving my boss a note asking off for the 31st of November. I put it on the bulletin board last week, hoping to cause some sort of confusion, and since I work with people who think MENSA is a flavor of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, it did.
I did not leave a reason on my note, so while my boss was writing the schedule last week, he came out and asked me what I was doing on the 31st that was more important than work. I couldn't respond. I didn't laugh. I didn't move. I stared at him for a good 2 minutes before he finally repeated the question. Again, I just stared at him the way your mother tells you not to stare at retarded kids at school. Finally, I just begun to recite the words from the poem we all learned in elementary school.
"Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November..."
Embarrassed at his oversight, he tears up my note, calls me a smartass, and returns to working on the schedule. One of my co-workers, Tim, who was watching the situation, comes over and asks me what that was about. I explained to him that I had asked for November 31st off. He stops, looks at me, and asks, "Why?"
Honestly, is this not common knowledge? Do you all have to look at a calendar every month just to check the number of days that month has?
And these people wonder why I always act so fucking cynical.
User Reviews
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-07 23:30:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-12-06 19:17:10 (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, I had a trick I used to play back in high school chemistry classes:
I'd pick a student at random, one who didn't look too bright, and ask them to go over to a lab station and get the fallopian tubes from the cabinet. I'd sometimes have those fuckers looking for ages.
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You were a funny kid.
You must have went to the special high school
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Someone's been duped with this trick before.
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-12-06 19:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, I had a trick I used to play back in high school chemistry classes:
I'd pick a student at random, one who didn't look too bright, and ask them to go over to a lab station and get the fallopian tubes from the cabinet. I'd sometimes have those fuckers looking for ages.
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You were a funny kid.
You must have went to the special high school
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-01 17:43:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-30 22:50:24 (#)
Ranking: 1
thirty days hath september, april, mable and bender. all the rest have syphillis except for urbane she has cancer.
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that is genius right there
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agreed
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-01 12:37:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2005-11-30 22:42:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't they know the knuckle trick? Even the slowest witted homo sapien can manage that one, even if it takes them a minute or so.
(For those who don't know, you hold your hands up in front of you, palms down, and count across the knuckles starting from the left. Each knuckle is a month with 31 days, each dip between knuckles is a month with 30 or less.
eg Jan (knuckle, 31 days), Feb (dip, 28 or 29 days), March (knuckle, 31 days) and so on...)
Although, I have to admit, you do sound like the sort of smartass who sends the new guy off for a tin of nail holes and some headlight fluid.
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Actually, I had a trick I used to play back in high school chemistry classes:
I'd pick a student at random, one who didn't look too bright, and ask them to go over to a lab station and get the fallopian tubes from the cabinet. I'd sometimes have those fuckers looking for ages.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-01 10:15:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-01 09:30:59 (#)
Ranking: 1
Thirty inches hath my member,
This I hope you can remember.
'Cause the next time that you cry
I'll tear you a cornhole pie.
+2 for this post.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-01 09:30:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Thirty inches hath my member,
This I hope you can remember.
'Cause the next time that you cry
I'll tear you a cornhole pie.
Submitted by el_em_en_oh (user info) at 2005-12-01 08:38:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
What's with the knuckle thing? Now i'm THOUGHROUGHLY confrused.
*Punch self in face and repeat*
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-01 06:21:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah, that's a gey little poem you recite there
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-11-30 22:54:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Wow.
That's clever.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-30 22:50:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
thirty days hath september, april, mable and bender. all the rest have syphillis except for urbane she has cancer.
^
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that is genius right there
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2005-11-30 22:42:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't they know the knuckle trick? Even the slowest witted homo sapien can manage that one, even if it takes them a minute or so.
(For those who don't know, you hold your hands up in front of you, palms down, and count across the knuckles starting from the left. Each knuckle is a month with 31 days, each dip between knuckles is a month with 30 or less.
eg Jan (knuckle, 31 days), Feb (dip, 28 or 29 days), March (knuckle, 31 days) and so on...)
Although, I have to admit, you do sound like the sort of smartass who sends the new guy off for a tin of nail holes and some headlight fluid.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-11-30 22:31:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November. All the rest have thirty-one, except for Grandmother, she rides a tricycle.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-30 22:11:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
THE WORLD IS BIGGER THAN YOUR FISHBOWL
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-11-30 21:37:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't recite the song in my head every time I hear the date 31st come up... Is that a problem?
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-11-30 21:33:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-11-30 21:31:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2005-11-30 21:16:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i dunno. if someone mentioned nov 31st to me i wouldn't think twice about it. it is common knowledge but why would i think to myself "hhmmm he's taking the 31st off, are there 31 days this month?"
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-30 21:14:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If I had a vote, I'd say "No you don't" and "Get back to fucking work".
So that I could take that whole week off.