Reasons NOT to drink with me - SP to the Fuckin' T (1081 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.21 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by pantsarestupid (View user info) at 2005-12-01 12:30:28 EST
1. When very drunk, I will cry. I don't mean that tears will slide gracefully down my face. I mean that snot will drip from my nose and I will snivel and snort until someone slaps me or at the very least, tells me to shut the fuck up.
2. I get loud. I have a tendency to say things a lot louder after a few rounds. Yes, I know this is typical of most people that drink but, i'm sure that in some people it's acceptable. I yell about almost everything. DO YOU WANT A SANDWICH?! I'M DRUNK! I WANT A SANDWICH! Is just one of the things I find appropriate to scream in the middle of the street. The other (taken from last night) is "SOMEONE FIND ME A FUCKING TRAIN. FIND ME A FUCKING TRAIN RIGHT FUCKING NOW. FINE. I'VE GOT A MAP. I'LL FIND MY OWN GODDAMN TRAIN". Whoops. Sorry all people sleeping in the West Village.
3. If i've ever had a crush on you or even thought you were mildly attractive...chances are i'm going to tell you about it. I'm going to tell you about it until you don't want to hear about it anymore. It doesn't matter that I don't like you anymore. I did at one time and this is something you should know. This also goes for good friends. I may not like you in "that way" but i'll tell you exactly what makes you specail, why you're my friend, and how much I love you. I'll tell you this every 5 minutes while hanging onto your arm for dear life. But, I Looooove you.
4. Chances are, i'm gonna piss you off. I'm either going to insult you on accident, spill something on you, or you're going to have to watch me so I don't walk into traffic or fall down the stairs. I'll also probably damage your clothes, shoes, or person. Lit cigarettes and shots anyone? You want to hook up with that girl over there? Well you won't have a chance in hell once I tell her about every revolting habit you have. Give me time. I can be the ultimate accidental cockblock. I can't help it.
I wanted to put a 5 here but I think these will do for now. Nah, i'm not cool because I drink. No one is. But, rarely does this bad side come out. These are all examples of last night. I think i've managed to piss off a sizeable portion of my friends and annoy a couple of strangers along the way. So, there's your warning. Stay the hell away from me.
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User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-02 07:46:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1. When very drunk, I will cry. I don't mean that tears will slide gracefully down my face. I mean that snot will drip from my nose and I will snivel and snort until someone slaps me or at the very least, tells me to shut the fuck up.
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Ahhhh...
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-01 17:05:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That chick looks ready for a doubleteam, who's with me?
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-12-01 16:37:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-12-01 16:06:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is what happens when I get drunk (slightly NSFW)
Ha what a retard I turned out to be here's the link http://www.ubersite.com/m/61903
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-12-01 16:19:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-01 16:13:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
3. If i've ever had a crush on you or even thought you were mildly attractive...chances are i'm going to tell you about it. I'm going to tell you about it until you don't want to hear about it anymore. It doesn't matter that I don't like you anymore. I did at one time and this is something you should know. This also goes for good friends. I may not like you in "that way" but i'll tell you exactly what makes you specail, why you're my friend, and how much I love you. I'll tell you this every 5 minutes while hanging onto your arm for dear life. But, I Looooove you
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This is why i want to party with you. For you to tell me how great I am...when you're drunk
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-12-01 16:06:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is what happens when I get drunk (slightly NSFW)
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-01 15:34:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude I want to tap that chick. With two mouths like that she can suck cock and balls at the same time. sweet.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-01 15:33:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
don't worry no one sleeps at night in the village.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-12-01 15:33:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
SPT = -2.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-12-01 15:29:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
stumblebum licketysplit, drunken lady full of it.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-12-01 14:51:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What am I waiting for Tim? Are you going to come out on the great group drunken experience that we'll talk about until we're about to explode with excitement and then doesn't happen?
COME ON!! WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN THIS TIME!!
Sorry about the whole capps and double exclamation points. But that's a taste of a night out with pants. Or a night without pants...
Whatever.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-01 14:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
poor old pants
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-01 14:34:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you just wait.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-01 14:29:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
YOU ARE FREAKING OUT.
MAN.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-01 14:02:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm no model citizen when I'm drunk either. Let's party.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-12-01 13:40:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that picture is freaking me out.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-12-01 13:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a112/chrisconjr/whatthehellman.jpg
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-01 13:06:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Drinking with Method is quite the experience I assure you. Twill be fun.
Submitted by foodman (user info) at 2005-12-01 13:05:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I once shouted "I am Jesus Christ, incarnate!" when I was really drunk. Unfortunately, it was captured on video.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-12-01 13:04:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You hear that world?! People DO love me. Tiger and Method are willing to go out with me. This could lead to strage and dangerous places.
oooooOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOooooOOOooOOoOOoOOooOO
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-01 12:58:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-01 12:47:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you and I will get along swimmingly. Let's get drunk together this saturday night and scream obscenities at passersby
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Saturday night hummm?
<scratches fleas in head>
Method call me and give me scoop. I'll go.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-12-01 12:54:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul: Hey. That's just how it is sometimes.
Method: Shoot me an e-mail. Pantsarestupid.at.hotmail.com
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-12-01 12:49:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nothing like needing a babysitter for a grown woman.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-01 12:47:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you and I will get along swimmingly. Let's get drunk together this saturday night and scream obscenities at passersby
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-01 12:46:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you sound like every american tourists I've seen so far when you're drunk
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-12-01 12:40:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was last night. Last night was a Very bad night. As a matter of fact, the text message that I sent to my best friend read: "Call me tomorrow. I'm having a bad bad bad night."
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-01 12:38:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're not making a very good impression here. Now I'm not sure If I'll be coming into the city
to get drunk with you. ;)
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-12-01 12:34:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm just trying to figure out the logistics of a two-mouth blowjob.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-12-01 12:34:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I WILL DRINK YOU UNDER THE TABLE.
Then once we're down there we can make out.
(Sorry it's the booze talking)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-01 12:33:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But will you DO me when you're drunk?
Because if not, there's really no reason to drink with you in the first place, much less read this babble-fest of a post.