Earl Sruggs gets kicked in the SACK!! (1362 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.62 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The BOSH man! (View user info) at 2005-12-02 03:10:16 EST
So there I was minding my own business when Earl Scruggs had the nerve to try and tell me a joke.. thinking that I would laugh or something. What a fag. I kicked him the balls and told him to fuck off. He thanked me and then cried.
After snorting apple-cinnamon oatmeal mix through a straw, I needed a beer. I grabbed my harmonica, tied some pirate balloons to my moped and I was off to the bar. These kids saw me on the moped going about 15mph and started laughing. You think I'm gonna take that shit? Yea right. I pulled the most bosh wheelie of all time and did like 47 360s until they all died. Some old lady saw this all happen and was clapping excitedly, so I gave her a pirate balloon and told her to fuck off.
Another mile down the road, I saw Victor Wooten jammin out with some queer on his acoustic bass. I figured that I would probably be jammin with Earl Scruggs later, and invited Vic to join us.. He cried for a little while and then accepted. So now I'm riding down main street on my moped with pirate balloons attached to it while Victor Wooten is chillen on the pegs, playing some slap funk. Yes, my moped has pegs. Eventually we got to the bar, which was good because I was about ready to flip out. I ordered a jack on the rocks an offered Vic a peach schnapps. He tried to tell me to get him a beer instead but do you think I listened? No. That fag is drinking schnapps if he knows whats good for him.
Years later, Earl Sruggs showed up in a tuxedo so I asked him the obvious question.
"What the fuck are you doing here you queer go home"
"Sorry Bosh man.. I just came by to see if you were ok.. because you were supposed to be the best man at my wedding..which just ended."
"Dude you got married? That's so gay"
"..."
"Wanna jam? Vic Wooten is here"
"Hell yea I wanna jam.."
"Good."
So the three of us started jammin in the middle of this bar.. The bartender looked like he wanted to give us shit, so I put my devil horns on and painted my face red and told him to leave us alone or I would eat his soul. He left us alone.. Good thing too, because I was serious.
Some four-year-old kid was at the bar with his Saxaboom. It was so fuckin bosh I almost fainted.
I asked him to join our band, and he said 'FUCK YEA'. Scruggs and Wooten seemed jealous of this kids talent, so I fired them and told Scruggs to go home to his faggot wife.
He did.
I bought the kid a beer and he got hammered and hit on every chick at the bar. At this point, I figured the best thing to do was give him a pirate balloon and the keys to my moped.
I just robbed some queers on the way home and bought a new one.
User Reviews
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-09-28 14:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-09-28 14:25:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh. I missed this one.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-30 14:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-02-13 23:13:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously, the Bosh Man is aweosme. Bosh.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-02 14:09:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I cannot believe I am saying this, but I genuinely missed you.
I guess I'd rather play with the friendly retards I know, than the mean ones that I don't.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2005-12-02 12:58:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey dudes!
I disappeared without notice because some drunk asshole decided to smash into me with his SUV and put me in the hospital for a bit.. but no worries! I am alive and well (much to the dismay of some).
Not too much is new..
I hang with Vic Wooten alot now, as we opened our own Pirate Paraphernalia Emporium (we call it 'Pirates ARRRRRRRRRRRR Bosh'), which explains the balloons.
There are plenty of bosh adventures to be shared, so keep your eyes open!
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-12-02 11:49:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And another for content. These have been too few and far between as of late.
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-12-02 11:45:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the hell you been, man? Auto +2 cause I love your shit.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-02 11:33:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-12-02 11:30:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-12-02 04:45:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
You are either one of the shittiest alters God has ever allowed, or your are a waterhead who forgot his helmet the day his special school bus was in the demolition derby.
*-----------------------------------
Why are you such a dick all the time?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-02 10:21:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This whole thing was Osh Kosh B'BOSH.
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-12-02 10:18:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78674
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-12-02 10:06:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-12-02 09:17:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
saxamaboom w007!!!1 yayyy bosh is back
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-12-02 09:08:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-02 07:34:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
True -1.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-12-02 06:13:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I
actually
Enjoyed
This.
Nooooooooooo!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-12-02 04:45:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You are either one of the shittiest alters God has ever allowed, or your are a waterhead who forgot his helmet the day his special school bus was in the demolition derby.
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2005-12-02 03:19:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's said that you shouldn't say anything about the dead unless it's good. Ok. He's dead. Good.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2005-12-02 03:12:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2005-12-02 03:10:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
True Story.