Phallic_Cymbals the suckquel (394 hits)
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Submitted by <earsplitband.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-12-04 02:09:49 EST
A girl saying "i love to give head" is in many ways similar to seeing three cherries line up on a slot machine.
The word "ka-CHING" comes to mind. As do cherries.
The girl i am currently seeing (as of last Thursday) is, in all respect to her, a fucking hoodrat. In my year overseas i managed to acquire the flattering nickname "Skank-magnet" and it certainly appears my powers of attraction are as potent as ever.
If she goes to the beach in a bikini, then afterwards wants to go clubbing she gets changed into a SMALLER outfit. When i met her at the pub i thought she was a blow-up doll. As charming as that sounds, I thought it was fucking hot. In retrospect, the pickup line "Have i seen you somewhere? Was it bangboat.com?" might have been recieved not only with good humour but with a worryingly cheerful affirmative.
But I'm all for affirmative action, with emphasis on the action, so who am i to judge a young lady just because she's had more pole than Warsaw?
Anyhow, last night we went to watch the film "Wolf Creek". This is an Australian horror which will be out in the US in January and has the widest US release of any Aussie film, ever. 2000 screens or something.
Go and see it. It is so gross one of the film reviewers in our national paper WALKED OUT of it. It's fucking awesome, but you'll never want to travel outback Australia ever again.
Back to the point. It was about 45 minutes in and, like horny 16 year olds, we were getting a little hot and heavy in the back row. Then came the magic line:
"Do you mind if i go down on you?" she says, rubbing my crotch.
Do. I. Mind?
Uhh... let me think. No.
I actually said "OK, just this once" and laughed.
She stopped, and gave me a hurt look as if i was serious. Yeh, like I'm going to ration how often you give me head. Dumb slut.
So she did her thing while i tried not to squirm too much and still pay attention to the movie. Luckily it wasn't going through one of the gory bits so i didn't have any problems staying focussed.
We finished, she gulped, i slouched. Glorious.
She curled up beside me and whispered "I love giving head". I had come to that conclusion myself but was a little preoccupied about her having a drink of coke or something before her lips touched any other part of me. Then she said it.
"Can i do it again?"
"Whenever you like!"
"No, i mean now."
Girls. Without going into male anatomy too deeply let me give you an analogy for what a man is feeling after a blow job:
You are starving, you have been peckish for days but now you are ravenous. Someone offers you a huge meal. You accept. THe meal is fantastic, you gorge yourself until you cannot fit in another wafer-thin slice. Then, they offer you another huge meal. Now, there was nothing wrong with the first meal. It was, in fact, exactly what you wanted. But it would just be excessive to eat another one, the pleasure wouldn't be as great as waiting till you are hungry again.
See what i'm getting at?
So, for the first and possibly last time in my life, i turned down a blowjob.
But she DID say "Don't make it hard for me, let me do it all the time."
This girl is begging to suck my dick. It's like someone begging to give you money. I never knew the penis had such power. It's not like it's anything to look at.
Now i know ther original phrase was a typo. What they really meant to say was "The penis: mightier than the sword".
Fine with me.
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Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-12-04 02:14:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
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