Black people know how to ruin some shit (1331 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.16 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <dooawop.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-12-04 15:18:31 EST
It's funny how quickly quality products get ruined by black endorsement. For instance, I used to love footlocker. I couldn't wait to get fitted for a new pair of Nikes or Reeboks by their friendly sales associate. Hell, I'll even admit that I used to back order the Air Jordan's when they were still made for white people. But then something happened. Maybe it was Allen Iverson that ruined it or Nelly with his song about Errr Fose Ones. Maybe it was a marketing scheme by the company that went horribly wrong. Whatever happened, it left in its wake a social disaster of epic proportions. These days I can't even enter the store without being greeted by eight televisions blaring about how Missy Elliot is a Wanksta. Now the sale associates Crip-walk around with untucked XXL shirts and the biggest pair of dress slacks that the big and tall sections carry. Forget about getting fitted for a pair of shoes because I'll bet my gold teeth that if you ask---you'll get shot. Yup, Now Footlocker looks more like one of those cheap Afro-stores like Man Style or Best Dressed. You know, those little corner stores in the ill-lighted portion of the mall (usually by Sears) that have the bright blue 3 piece suits fit for Jigga-Man himself.
Jigga What!?
Speaking of the mall, most things endorsed by black people can be found there. If you want to be ghetto I suggest you shop in stores like Hat Shack, Gold Time, and any mall shoe store. Anyway, I was doing some Christmas shopping with my wife the other day, and had a close encounter with a new species of people: The Nigga Whats! If I could find a beginning to my mistakes that day, it would have to be the mistake of splitting up from my wife so we could accomplish our shopping needs more quickly. Following our split my wife made her way to hallmark to find something for her sister and I made my way to Hat Shack to look for a hat that wasn't fitted. After about 15 minutes of wading through happy customers and dodging a few drug deals, I emerged into the common area of the mall to find Pretty Ricky and T.I. trying to slow grind on my wife. It looked something like the scene from night at the Roxbury, where Chris Kattan and Will Farrell are dry humping the lady at the bar. In an effort to save my pride, I walked over and introduced myself as her husband and politely displayed my wedding ring in an attempt to communicate my disapproval. After a small exchange of teeth sucking and gang signs, my wife and I decided that it would be best to move along to JcPenny and the other white sections of the mall. But unfortunately in the process I must have disturbed the herd by killing every black baby in America. Now my wife says that all the commotion was caused because I accidentally stepped on somebody's Reebok classics, but I must have done something much worse because the riot that ensued would only be justified by such an action. So here I was in the middle of the mall, surrounded by a bunch of angry black people screaming at the top of their lungs. The conversation between myself and the chief Nigga What! went something like this:
Chief Nigga What: "Nigga What!"
Me: "What?"
Chief Nigga What: "Nigga What!"
Me: "...ok"
Chief Nigga What: "What Nigga What!"
So the conversation went on like this for a while, until a security guard came over and fed them all some raw meat. I still can't figure out what the hell I did.
D-Block D-Block D-Block!
Of all the things that I never thought black endorsement would have the power to ruin is liquor. I used to drink the hell out of some Grand VSOP Courvoisier and Grey Goose vodka. But Tupac and Young Jeezy helped to ruin that one for me. Now I am embarrassed to buy Grey Goose or anything even resembling Hennessey because I don't want people to think that I am going home to make a tall glass of Thug Passion. Forget about bringing it to a party. Seriously, next time you go to a liquor store and you see some black people walk in, pay attention to what they are buying. I guarantee you that it won't be anything that hasn't been featured in a rap song.
Wait till you see my dick! Hey bitch!
Speaking of which, rap has been thoroughly ruined by rappers. I like the Natural Elements, Hieroglyphics, Mos Def, Tribe, the old Rawkus, Del, you get the point. Rappers with a message. But try putting them in the tape deck when somebody that despises rap is around. It won't fly regardless of the message, because people like DMX have ruined the image of rappers. Seriously, listen to some classic rap and decipher the message. Now do the same with some modern rap. These are two totally different animals. I know that a lot of minorities have grown up underprivileged and they want people to understand their struggle, (which is what the former did a fine job portraying) but why would the style make such a dramatic change as to glorify the murder of another person. I'll tell you, its Black endorsement. Some rapper had the great idea of endorsing easy money without work. It probably sounded something like this: "Don't work! Take advantage of the absent self-esteem of your peers and sell them drugs. I do it! Now I can afford to buy expensive liquor instead of removing myself from poverty. Blame it on the white guy!" He made money so now they all do it.
And that's what the fuck I call a chain reaction.
I won't even get started on Popeye's or Church's chicken. But I will say that it is time for Black people with the ability to reach a mass audience to put their Tech Ninas and Fo poundas away and send out a more positive message. Because I would enjoy being able to go to footlocker without wondering if somebody is going to rep-re-sent they hood and break a nigga off fo no reason.
One Love
User Reviews
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2006-05-09 02:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I approve of this.
Welcome
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-05-09 02:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"until a security guard came over and fed them all some raw meat."
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-05-09 01:50:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are where you shop.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-05-08 22:54:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It would be better with humor.
Submitted by digdug (user info) at 2006-03-22 18:53:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Hieroglyphics
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2006-01-16 23:05:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
One love my ass you racist asshole. Where are you from, one of the confederate states? You fucking newb. Ya,I haven't been around for a while, but your 'wife' is probably as big as a dick as you are. Racists always amuse the pants off of me; Nice teeth there fuckface, they're so hardcore I've always wondered what it would be like to be ugly as fuck.
Good night.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-05 18:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I do love Popeye's Fried Chicken, though
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-12-05 17:19:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Classic
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-12-05 10:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's the return of the gangsta thanks ta'
Them niggas that's on that blow
that run up in yo' crib which contains
your lady and an 8 month old
child to raise plus you true blue 'bout this music but
they do not want to hear it because they'd
rather be bouncin' and shootin' and killin' and bouncin'
and shit get down
Return of the gangsta thanks ta'
them niggas that thank [think] you soft
and say y'all be gospel rappin'
but they be steady clappin' when you talk about
bitches & switches & hoes & clothes & weed
let's talk about time travelin' rhyme javelin
somethin' mind unravelin' get down
Return of the gangsta thanks ta'
them niggas who got them kids
who got enough to buy an ounce
but not enough to bounce them kids to the zoo
or to the park so they grow up in the dark never
seein' light so they end up being like yo' sorry ass
robbin' niggas in broad ass daylight get down
Return of the gangsta thanks ta'
them niggas that get the wrong impression of expression
Then the question is Big Boi what's up with Andre?
Is he in a cult? Is he on drugs? Is he gay?
When y'all gon' break up? When y'all gon' wake up?
Nigga I'm feelin' better than ever what's wrong with you
you get down!
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-12-05 10:04:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
make a tall glass of Thug Passion
great rant.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-12-05 09:51:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-12-05 03:15:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the picture
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-12-05 01:36:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, it has become quite the annoying trend. I hate having to turn on the T.V. to be told to "Gather Round the good stuff" or to be told i'm apparently "Lovin it". It's just fucking stupid all of it. And it's only going to get worse until everyone realizes that the man pointing fingers (in this case the black man believing he's owed something due to something his great great great ancestors suffered for) is contributing jack shit and probably is no worse off than anyone else.
and now it's time for the part of the game show we all enjoy playing
it's time for
POLITICALLY CORRECT!!!!
Now, when I say Black Man, I don't mean all black men. Because after all there are those in this world who happen to be black who make a decent living and bother no one. But, of course there are those who sit around and claim they're owed something. And that is the Black man I speak of
"But YELLOW-MAN! Surely, black people aren't the only race who sits around doing such things!"
Of course not, there's probably just as many of any other race possibly...but you know, i've never seen them. have you?
The thing is, it works only two ways, either you get off yoru ass try to better your situation, or hope someone comes a long and buys into your shit. And we all wish for that someone to come along and take pity on us, drop a 100$ bill in our cups and move a long. But as my grandfather says
"You can shit in one hand, and wish in the other. Which one do you think will fill up first?"
Well that's our show, thank you for playing POLITICALLY CORRECT, i'm your gamehost saying GOOD NIGHT!
Yeah, it's annoying how much red tape we have to go through as well in case someone is offended. I mean crap someone was probably offended by the text I just said, I honestly wouldn't doubt it. I just hope this little fad dies out, this one and the EMO shit. I'm sick of seeing guys with that shitty ass hair cut and wearing tight pants. I want to kick the shit out of them and play Pantera or Megadeth in the background. as i'm doing so to the Emo bastards. yeah i'm just rambling.
Nice first post by the way ;)
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-05 00:21:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-12-04 23:25:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nigga plz
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2005-12-04 22:56:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Niggas be ridin'.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-12-04 20:41:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not many people know that "Nigga what?" goes back to Elizabethan times. It even pops up in "Romeo and Juliet"
---
MERCUTIO
Alas poor Romeo! he is already dead; stabbed with a
white wench's black eye; shot through the ear with a
love-song; the very pin of his heart cleft with the
blind bow-boy's butt-shaft: and is he a man to
encounter Tybalt?
BENVOLIO
Nigga what? The fuck is Tybalt?
MERCUTIO
More than prince of cats, I can tell you. O, he is
the courageous captain of compliments...
---
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-12-04 20:02:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i am down with that phat sound, my brotha from anotha motha.
Submitted by Lmarie22000 (user info) at 2005-12-04 19:53:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What Nigga What?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-12-04 19:36:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aight!
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-04 18:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bet you love watching sports though don't you?
Submitted by dooawop (user info) at 2005-12-04 18:17:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your mother already made me feel right at home.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-04 18:00:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Welcome to uber.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-12-04 17:34:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Walker (user info) at 2005-12-04 16:51:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
He also says "You know what I hate about niggas? Everything a WHITE person hates about a nigga, that's what!"
"Its the media that portrays us like that, the media! Yeah? Well when i go to the ATM tonight, and Im lookin' over my shoulder, It aint the media Im looking out for, its NIGGAS!"
Submitted by Trevor1st93 (user info) at 2005-12-04 17:24:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-12-04 16:23:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2005-12-04 15:49:56 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Call911 (user info) at 2005-12-04 15:40:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
I forget who said it... but I'm quoting someone here.
"I love black man... but I hates a nigger"
-----
Amen.
Submitted by Walker (user info) at 2005-12-04 16:51:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He also says "You know what I hate about niggas? Everything a WHITE person hates about a nigga, that's what!"
I think that's his sketch "Never Scared". Go download it
Now!
Submitted by nahnoneofit (user info) at 2005-12-04 16:48:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
but other the that, "teeth sucking" is funny as hell.
Submitted by nahnoneofit (user info) at 2005-12-04 16:48:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you forget to mention the billions of rich white kids who shop at footlocker.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-12-04 16:23:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2005-12-04 15:49:56 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Call911 (user info) at 2005-12-04 15:40:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
I forget who said it... but I'm quoting someone here.
"I love black man... but I hates a nigger"
-----------------------------------------------------------
Chris Rock
Thats a fucking amazing sketch.
also funny post so +2 homboy,sup yo word etc
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-12-04 16:17:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hear hear!
Submitted by Sheba (user info) at 2005-12-04 15:57:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2005-12-04 15:49:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Call911 (user info) at 2005-12-04 15:40:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
I forget who said it... but I'm quoting someone here.
"I love black man... but I hates a nigger"
-----------------------------------------------------------
Chris Rock
At anyrate. I like to think of something Bill Crosby once said..
Ladies and gentlemen, listen to these people. They are showing you what's wrong. People putting their clothes on backwards. Isn't that a sign of something going on wrong? Are you not paying attention? People with their hat on backwards, pants down around the crack. Isn't that a sign of something or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up? Isn't it a sign of something when she's got her dress all the way up to the crack -- and got all kinds of needles and things going through her body. What part of Africa did this come from? We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a damned thing about Africa. With names like Shaniqua, Shaligua, Mohammed and all that crap and all of them are in jail.
and of course my favorite...
They're buying things for the kid -- $500 sneakers -- for what? They won't buy or spend $250 on Hooked on Phonics.
Submitted by alfakyle (user info) at 2005-12-04 15:47:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent segues.
Submitted by Call911 (user info) at 2005-12-04 15:40:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I forget who said it... but I'm quoting someone here.
"I love black man... but I hates a nigger"
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-04 15:26:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ironic that your post includes Nikes right as I posted mine.
Let's sit sideways and sip on some sizzer.
+ I like you, newb.