What's in it for ugly people? (1311 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JTC (View user info) at 2005-12-05 03:54:36 EST
Take a moment to think about everyone you know. Since I specifically put "ugly people" in the title, you've probably come up with an ugly person by the time you've finished this sentence and just in case you haven't I'll keep it going a little longer because certainly by now you understand that you should be thinking of an ugly person and not just a normal person that you know so I hoipe by now you have thought of it. Now think of a *really* ugly person. Think of the person who, regardless of how much alcohol has been consumed, does not become attractive. Maybe they aren't morbidly obese--maybe they're even underweight--but they are so hideous, so horrifying that one can scarcely look upon them clothed, and imagining any such person without clothes is like putting your brain in one of the mythical concentration camps, only for brains, not Jews and fags.
So what does this person have going for them? Why did God, or fate, or evolution--whatever--pick this person to be so grotesque? Why are they plagued by acne well past their college years, or vision problems only correctlable by rapist-style glasses, or a sad looking body, etc? Why, and what do they have to achieve? Only to become less ugly. Never attractive, never desirable--only less unattractive and less undesirable. Cosmetic surgery, you say, as if everyone can afford such extravagant procedures, or perhaps wearing a mask everywhere. A Batman mask, but it would have to have horns, only the horns would be shaped liked flowers.
Much like the outdated class systems of the Middle Ages, no ugly person shall mingle with an attractive person. They must mate within their own species with the possible exception of the very rich, who escape to pollute the beautiful gene pool. Also the rapists. What pride is to be had in banging an ugly chick? Or an ugly guy? I'm not woman expert, but I was always under the impression that women wouldn't normally spring for that kid--you know the one I'm talking about, the one who probably DMs every Thursday night and studies everything in his spare time because it is that sexy, who always feels the need to correct every statement made by anyone, possibly feeling that a lack of appearance can be rectified by an excess of knowledge. And then, one day, you beat the living fuck out of them.
I've often wonderered if the ugliest person in the world gets laid, and if so, how often and by what kind of women/men. It seems that anyone with any notoriety whatsoever can get the vagina unless they're ugly, with the exception of musicians, who, regardless of appearance, always seem to have a group of females from the ages of 14 to 30 willing to pleasure them on request. If I were an ugly girl I would probably become a groupy for an ugly male musician, or I might pretend I was a male and become a groupy for a female musician, only to realize after the fact that men had penises. Penii. Whatever. But this ugliest person in the world...how much sex do you suppose they get?
I would think it worse to be an ugly than a fatty. Fatties can usually do something, like lose their fat, but can you lose Ugly? I don't think you can do that. Though fatties do often come across as slobbish with small members, and fat significant others. Whatever happend to opposites attracting?
Here, we have an actual group, albeit unofficial, called simply, "Beautiful Ladies," the requirement for which is "only the beautiful are allowed." Of course, I would likely be raped for starting a "White Men" group, the only requirement being, "only the caucasians allowed." Beauty and race are equally impossible to change. Should we start an affirmitave action for uglies? We could require hot people to have sex with at least X ugly people a year! IT'S BRILLIANT! This is the best idea anyone has ever had about anything, honestly.
What are ugly people to do? Go through life...or rise up and redefine beautiful? You know the only way to prevent such a rebellion is genocide. Genocide of the uglies. And I've been just itching for another genocide for the past couple weeks. We could call it an Uglihad or something equally clever and insulting. At any rate, we start in Kentucky...
User Reviews
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-12-05 11:11:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Even we perenially unattractive morons can trick people. Dress nice, smell pretty, put your hair up, be friendly, have good teeth, etc etc.
Then we get married to attractive european men and spend the next fifty years breaking their spirits.
Everyone needs a hobby, don't you dare judge me.
Submitted by Rope (user info) at 2005-12-05 09:28:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
penes
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-12-05 07:42:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2005-12-05 07:10:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually I was thinking about writing up an ugly people's code. It could go either way. Either it could be written from the standpoint of separation or of ugly rights. I just don't know.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-12-05 07:03:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you're on to something there.
We should start an Ugly-people's Rights group. If a guy can get into college just because he's black, why the fuck can't an ugly dude?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-05 06:43:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-05 05:30:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright, here's the thing. We're all familiar with the phenomenmommeneome of the pretty person with the pet minger. In the days of yore I truly believed that it was just ugly men that hooked up with pretty girls but it does actually work both ways.
This leads me to believe that it's like namecalling at school. It's about confidence. Your name could be Toby Arshall and yet if you where well liked (confident, assertive and socially skilled) Then no one would bat an eyelid. On the same token if you where not well liked then even if your name was Peter Smith then people would say stuff to you. Call you 'Pee man' or something.
>>>woah woah woah - lay off the insults there - old Pete can't take it.
Anyway it's the same with sex. I drive to work and look at the pretties on the way but the things they have hanging off them are repulsive. Seriously, imagine the blockiness of method with my gormless expression and plastic hair. Like a giant lego man in a Top Shop jumper. Utturly reppelant. How does it happen? Well, simply put, it's because in that pretty girls little world that vile and grotesque thing is the best, most highly valued male she knows. It's different for ugly birds and pretty pretty blokes of course, that's about love, but that's obvious.
>>>Now this is interesting. Best they know in their world. So blokes in jail who decide that manlove is what they want, it's because it's the best on offer? There is some link here to porn then, as something that woman CANNOT compete with (photoshopped woman vs first thing in the morning reality) - at least on the most superficial level. Ok - women are warm and squidgy, and pleasant moist - but damn it - there is a person there that you have to contend with as well! Half-joking aside, are you saying that it's a purely economic exchange? Highest value male. Ooh supply and demand, where pickiness is the pricing point.
So basically ugly blokes have got to get them when their perspective is limited, which is a bit like rape as you say.
>>>yeah...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-05 05:30:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright, here's the thing. We're all familiar with the phenomenmommeneome of the pretty person with the pet minger. In the days of yore I truly believed that it was just ugly men that hooked up with pretty girls but it does actually work both ways.
This leads me to believe that it's like namecalling at school. It's about confidence. Your name could be Toby Arshall and yet if you where well liked (confident, assertive and socially skilled) Then no one would bat an eyelid. On the same token if you where not well liked then even if your name was Peter Smith then people would say stuff to you. Call you 'Pee man' or something.
Anyway it's the same with sex. I drive to work and look at the pretties on the way but the things they have hanging off them are repulsive. Seriously, imagine the blockiness of method with my gormless expression and plastic hair. Like a giant lego man in a Top Shop jumper. Utturly reppelant. How does it happen? Well, simply put, it's because in that pretty girls little world that vile and grotesque thing is the best, most highly valued male she knows. It's different for ugly birds and pretty pretty blokes of course, that's about love, but that's obvious.
So basically ugly blokes have got to get them when their perspective is limited, which is a bit like rape as you say.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-12-05 05:17:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This was an interesting thought.
But only a plus 1 because the answer is so obvious.
Ever notice how pretty girls generally have the personality of a wet mop?
Yeah, people who are perceived to be "less attractive" or "ugmos", develop a personality to compensate for their lack of beauty.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-12-05 05:17:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ugly is a tricky one
some people, due to distored asymitricaly features etc appear ugly on first sight, but actually sometihng in their expressions can soften it and they are somehow pleasantly ugly
then you get people who feature wise are actually quite normal, but their facial expressins hve made them hideous and repulsive or downcast and woeful and sick etc
even a beatiful man like me can, by putting on a horrible face, look gruesomely ugly.
some uglyness is a result of putting on ugly face inadvertantly i'm sure.
i'm not sure to what extent
Submitted by nate (user info) at 2005-12-05 05:16:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As an ugly individual I think it would benefit society as a whole for me to admit it and fill you all in on what it's like to be ugly. It's awesome. I just eat what I want, I don't brush my teeth or shower often, it's not like anyone expects any better. The rapist glasses are also expected, I get some good sleazy stares in public places. Prostitutes dry heave when I stick it in them and fucking me forces them to rethink their career choice so I like to think I'm turning lives around for the better.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-05 04:49:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-05 04:43:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
You can just send them a cyanide pill in the post and they'll do the decent thing.
---
If that worked, I'd send him one tomorrow - if I didn't burn the note with his address on. He lives in Stroud- I refuse to go there ever in fear of meeting him.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-05 04:47:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is something I can get interested in, as it has troubled me in the past.
I had a flatmate who was the most vile individual I have ever met.
He brushed his teeth so infrequently they were green.
Green.
He never seemed to wash, unless it was to leave grit in the bath (grit? it was like he'd gone swimming in the sea, filled his trunks with sand and then emptied them into the bath - and did the little bastard ever clean it out? - no.)
He had an incredibly annoying laugh, a sort of high pitched cackle.
And he used to organise his wank material by celebrity, then into sub sections. I had the misfortune of stumbling across this and was scarred evermore.
There are so many stories about this guy - and if he ever gets laid then I am giving up on womankind. IF YOUR STANDARDS ARE THAT LOW, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO HAVE SEX.
I'm waiting for the 'ugly people need love too' - but perhaps if you have no self respect that gets taken away. He could have cleaned those green teeth if he'd wanted. And he could have got Ajax for his toothbrush.
I'm actually annoyed thinking about the odious little dirt fiend.
Damn it, he grew maggots in the bin when I went away for a week. MAGGOTS.
Urgh
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-05 04:43:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You can just send them a cyanide pill in the post and they'll do the decent thing.
Submitted by MavisMing (user info) at 2005-12-05 03:59:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
speechless
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-12-05 03:58:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been noticing a concerning lack of genocide lately... Thank god you're here JTC.