The big list of things you likely don’t know about me and likely don’t care about (1155 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by nitty (View user info) at 2005-12-05 12:55:44 EST
Inspired by the bandwagon. I've only read badassmofo's, and since he's my hero I'll link his on here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/80437
Since he linked Big Mike's, I'll link his, too: http://www.ubersite.com/m/80409
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I fall asleep on my couch almost every night - watching TV. I can only sleep with my head on one end of the couch. When it's on the other end something's not quite right.
My yard is impeccible, and I spend several hours in it each week.
When I began playing baseball again, my golf game went to shit. Shlongy can attest to this.
When I used to bartend, I would feed a regular named Marco stiff drinks all night long, only because when my bar closed at 1 I knew I could find him across the street at another bar, I knew he'd want to play pool for $100 a game, and I knew if he was hammered I could kick his ass. I paid my rent from 2002-2003 doing this.
I went to buy a Christmas tree from a lot with a sign that said 'all trees $35.' I picked a huge, amazing tree, and the guy tried to charge me $50. I told him either sell me the tree for $35 or take down the sign, and my lawyer will be be here tomorrow to close you down.
This was last year. The sign is not up this year.
I don't have a lawyer.
I can cook almost anything, and I'm baffled by those who claim to be unable to cook. It's all a simple act of following directions, until you get a little skilled at it.
I once won $12,209 playing online poker. It paid for the hardwood floors I laid in my house. Shlongy can attest to this one, too.
When I graduated high school, I was the only student ever to have played 4 years varsity baseball and varsity basketball.
Playing varsity basketball as a freshman was a mistake. I still have splinters in my ass from that one.
I swim a half mile every day.
My video game career ended after Super Nintendo, with one exception. I am a master of Goldeneye on N64.
I bought an N64 on eBay. I own 1 game. Guess what it is.
I lived with 2 guys the year after I graduated college. One was black, the other Jewish. I called them my nigger and my Golden Boy. They are still 2 of my best friends in the world.
I used to be pretty kickass at Ping Pong, but would probably suck now.
My first time skiing, I decided to learn in a trial by fire method, and went right to the top of the fucking mountain. I immediately regretted that decision, and it took me an hour to get down that damn hill.
When I was 17, I was driving too fast, clipped a curb, and popped 2 of my tires. I called for a tow, bought 2 tires, and paid for it all myself so my parent's wouldn't find out and punish me. They never did.
I am a master of sneaking liquor into college football games, since it's illegal to have it at a college function here in NC.
I would a million times rather be cold than be hot.
I drank a fifth of Goldschlager during senior beach week, got sick, and could not even smell cinnamon for a year without getting nauseous.
I mowed my grandparent's yard every week in high school.
I still do - but not every week. I have cousins now that are old enough to help.
Of all the people I know, I'd only consider a handful true 'friends.'
The only writing tool I use at the office is a mechanical pencil. Regualar pencils go dull too easily and I hate pens.
I took 7 clients on a golf trip about 5 years ago and spent $900 at a non-titty bar. On the company credit card. The boss made me split it with him.
I've hung out and done shots with Matthew McConaughey (in DC), Marcus Giles (Atlanta Braves), and Dave Matthews (in Chapel Hill). They were all extremely nice people.
I've played golf with Charles Barkley at a charity event. He is a shitty golfer, but a super nice guy.
I fear rejection.
My perfect Saturday is beers by the pool followed by burgers on the grill.
I've been to New York, and would never want to live there.
In the last year and a half, I've laid 1100 square feet of hardwood floors, remodeled my living room, kitchen, and master bath, replaced my well pump, rebuilt my deck, and that's only the beginning.
The best concert I've ever seen is Billy Joel and Elton John - dueling pianos from the 4th row.
My high school girlfriend turned me on to country music. It's been with me ever since.
I've owned a 1994 Volkwagon Jetta, a 1993 Toyota 4Runner, a 2001 Nissan Xterra, and a 1984 Ford Ranger. The Ranger was, far and away, my favorite vehicle.
In the mirror this morning, I think I saw the makings of a bald spot. If that is the case, it's all coming off.
I have zero piercings, zero tattoos.
I would never move more than a day's car ride away from my family.
I'm planning to buy myself a dog for Christmas.
Today is my birthday.
-nitty
User Reviews
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-12-06 07:25:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very interesting. Happy birthday.
I'm looking forward to my 21st next year so i will keep out of the age conversation. I have no place there.
Submitted by prozacaddict (user info) at 2005-12-05 20:50:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My first time skiing, I decided to learn in a trial by fire method, and went right to the top of the fucking mountain. I immediately regretted that decision, and it took me an hour to get down that damn hill.
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I feel your pain.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-05 20:36:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:17:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks
28
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Happy birthday, kid. You are half my age. But I have no
bald spot. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2005-12-05 17:52:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
!!!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-12-05 16:07:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday. Drink until you vomit and make an ass of yourself. That is a normal day 'round these here parts, the making an ass of myself part anyway.
Submitted by RoundRobin (user info) at 2005-12-05 16:04:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
anal avenger
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-12-05 15:54:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I can cook almost anything, and I'm baffled by those who claim to be unable to cook. It's all a simple act of following directions, until you get a little skilled at it."
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No, it is *not* a simple act of following instructions. There are little cooking gnomes that live in whatever kitchen you are cooking in. Either they like you, or they don't; they are the sole determinator of epicurean success. Thus, I am able to cook anything at my mother's house, but the most simple of recipes will fail in my own kitchen.
The prank-playing cousins of these cuisine-gnomes- wardobe pixies- live in women's dressing rooms at clothing stores. They delight in tricking women who are trying on clothes, by making the reflections in the mirrors look thinner.
Yeah, that's the ticket.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-05 15:40:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I lived with 2 guys the year after I graduated college. One was black, the other Jewish. I called them my nigger and my Golden Boy.
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i DON'T GET IT WQHICH WAS TEH BLACK ONE AGAIN
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2005-12-05 15:10:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-12-05 15:07:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I found some grey hair the other day, so I will see you at the gonna-get-my-head-shaved-slick-as-an-onion-barbershop. Say, over the weekend?
Then we can hit the links. with matching head and golfball sets.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-12-05 15:03:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:55:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
My birthday was yesterday.
So was wookie's.
He's older than I am.
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You younger-than-me bastard!
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2005-12-05 14:48:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday.
Submitted by punkerrjess (user info) at 2005-12-05 14:39:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy fucking Birthday +2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-12-05 14:29:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-05 14:08:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have scotch at home in the bar older than you, whippersnapper.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-12-05 14:00:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was way more interesting than the first list.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:57:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy birthday
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:57:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry, it was a joke.
birthdays are gay.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:55:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My birthday was yesterday.
So was wookie's.
He's older than I am.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:54:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel young now.
AWESOME!!!!
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:51:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
hooray!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:51:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuckin copycat, get some original material will.
you're always either copying posts, or doing posts about songs...where the fucking story is already told...jeesus man.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:50:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMFG YOU'RE A LEAP YEAR BABY?!!??!
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:43:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always get you and badassmofo mixed up. I guess I know why now.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:43:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just turned 28 too
It's crap innit?
Submitted by VengefulDaddy (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:26:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because today is my birthday, too.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:26:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
28???
Fuck me I'm old
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:22:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:12:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Guilty as charged, Miss Lilly
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*sigh*
If only!
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:19:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
happy birthday, sagittarius w00t!
i don't know why everyone has their panties all in a bunch over this list thing.... i think it's fun.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:17:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks
28
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:15:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
happy birthday
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:14:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh ya, Happy Birthday also.
What are we talking this year? 35, 36, 42?
You're heading to Average_Dan-ville with your bald spots.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:12:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Guilty as charged, Miss Lilly
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:11:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday Hot Ass.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:11:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And you're madly in lust with me.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My video game career ended after Super Nintendo, with one exception. I am a master of Goldeneye on N64.
I bought an N64 on eBay. I own 1 game. Guess what it is.
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Before I continue reading....
I will destroy your universe in Bond. You'd better play it correctly also...
health -10, no sight, no auto aim, no rcp's, ect.
If you ever want some, let me know. We can schedule a mid-continent Bond death match.
Let's see here...you live in NC, I'm in IN...let's say you fly to...Indianapolis. That sounds fair.
Also- I recently bought my younger brother (age 9) a Nintendo 64 on ebay, with only 1 game.
He was asking for a playstaion or xbox for Christmas. I told him he needed to learn to master the classics before he even thought about taking it to the next level. Damn I sound like a video game dork.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:04:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I am extremely interested in your personal life.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/80441
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:04:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really wanted to give you a -2 for "I fear rejection". Then, you had to go and say it's your birthday.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:02:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy day!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:02:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-05 13:00:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Champagne wishes and caviar dreams on this, your birthday.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-12-05 12:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Happy Birthday!