Jumping on the Bandwagon because I don't feel like writing any of my series (712 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.62 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Da MagnificAnt Dyldo <lordofduct.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-12-05 16:38:24 EST
A list of bullshit things about my self you better fucking care about...
I wasn't named after Bob Dylan or Dylan from 90210. My mother has class and named me after a Welsh narcotic addict.
My middle name is biblical, but I was raised atheist.
My last name is German; not English. So the 'e' comes before the 'l'. Get it right next time!
Even though I am German my mother still decided on giving all of us boys Welsh names. Probably why people fuck up the spelling of my last name all the time.
That is a tattoo of my brother Ian's name on my wrist, not a fucking rash!
I cringe a lot and complain constantly when getting a tattoo. Yes, I am a pussy and the girl who does my tattoos is much stronger then me in that sense.
I still can pick her up and throw her at the wall. Nick and I have broken her left arm 3 or 4 times this way... Nick did it during sex.
I've only had 6 girlfriends in my 11 years of dating.
I've slept with I don't know how many... and I don't like that.
If I don't like you I really suck in bed, but they still go around telling everyone I rock... I think they don't want to hurt my feelings.
The girls I've dated tell everyone I suck in bed!
Of my 6 girlfriends I've had I don't talk to 1 of them anymore. The rest I am still very good friends with and hang out all the time.
Surprisingly their boyfriends don't mind this and some trust me a lot.
If they only knew...
I am a deceitful piece of shit mother fucker who will back stab you in a heart beat.
But I think I am the most caring person in the world... my friends just tell me I'm a prick.
I live in a house all alone that costs 1200 USD a month in rent. My cousin pays me rent, but will not move in. I wonder what that says about me...
I afford my rent because I work at an Adult website; no I will not give you any passwords.
I have not masturbated in months because of my job.
I've seen some of the most horrible things at work including: men flinging feces, women fitting bowling balss in their cooch, blood and transexuals that some how were OK'd by their psychiatrist to get the sex change although they are dumber then dirt.
I only drink on my days off.
I do this mostly at clubs and piss off women who hit on me and make out with men I don't know... yet I am still strait I think.
I flicked off a girl who winked at me.
I told another girl who was flirting that if she didn't have cigarettes she wasn't worth talking too. I proceded to spill a drink all over her and laugh.
I can't dance worth a shit, but still go on the dance floor and spill more drinks on unsuspecting people.
I don't do drugs.
None
have in the past though... name it, I've done it.
Last night I saw the most disgusting thing in the world. I have pissed on my own teachers leg and vomited in someone's mouth purposely before... but when I saw a video of 2 people purposely vomiting on another person taking a shit and vomiting I was scarred for life.
I've been lieing to you this entire post... well I hope you think I have.
User Reviews
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-12-05 18:11:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-12-05 17:13:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you all are so right... I should just shoot myself. Damn it all does my life suck and is so boring!
oh wait... I get PAID to look at porn!
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2005-12-05 17:12:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
lame
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-05 17:10:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-12-05 17:00:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-12-05 16:57:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh the reasons I love Ubersite!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-05 16:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You forgot;
"I can't spell for shit, nor construct consecutive coherent sentences."
Submitted by Tormencha (user info) at 2005-12-05 16:51:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
There is no way in hell you are not doing drugs anymore!
Now OD already!
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-12-05 16:48:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-12-05 16:45:46 (#)
Ranking: -2
No wait, gerbils ON my and IN my penis are more entertaining.
---------------------------------------
I'm happy for you with that one...
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-12-05 16:48:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you lead a boring life.
and from the info there, i'm guessing that your name is Dylan Mattathias Schvatzeinshtooken
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-12-05 16:45:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No wait, gerbils ON my and IN my penis are more entertaining.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-12-05 16:45:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dribbles from my penis are more interesting.