Finals have turned me into a raving lunatic (1083 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.53 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Darko (View user info) at 2005-12-07 03:29:42 EST
If Australia is the land down under, and you bury treasure in the land, is it appropriate to say the buried treasure is under the land down under, and if so who would even understand that? The Nazi Pope? Hardly. The Nazi Pope just does not understand modern day life he's too busy reminiscing about his days and a Nazi and dancing in front of the mirror as he wears the pope hat.
I bet when the current Nazi Pope was just a Nazi and not yet a Pope that he was involved in a secret brainwashing program where he would assassinate the pope. Any day now the sign for the assassination will come and he will commit suicide, which will lead to the first ever Muslim pope being elected, who will declare jihad on Antarctica. Because everyone knows Antarctica is clearly planning some full scale assault against the religious community, because, as you well should know by now, it ALWAYS comes back to the penguins. Smug bastards. I'll show them. I'll show you all! Once I publish my book "100 ways to cook penguins (Believe it or not they aren't endangered)" I will be rich. But, more importantly, I will open up the world's eyes as to how magically delicious penguins can be.
Though that will be kind of freaky when a pair of eyes pop out where Cuba and Puerto Rico are. In fact, I bet the phenomenon would scare Dubya to the part where he officially announces his war against the planet. You know, as Opposed to his unofficial way of doing it now. It would kind of be a battle of the afterlife against earthly life, which is exactly what the Catholic Church believes will happen (even under a Muslim Pope). While Jesus died for our souls to be able to go to heaven, the antichrist will lead humans to appreciate life on earth and save the planet from just being used as a holding pod.
This is why Ted Turner is clearly the antichrist, for he was the creator of the television show Captain Planet and the Planeteers. I mean come on, a television show which told you to not watch television and instead recycle? BLASPHEMEY!
Though the monkey guy was cool. Mati was his named (pronounced Ma tea). He was heart and could talk with the animals. Though in reality, despite being like 12, he used his powers to seduce animals. So he was committing bestiality while the animals were committing pedophilia.
They took his monkey that he always had on his shoulder to court once, on the charge that he was in fact the monkey which first gave aids to humans. Other humans got it because they were having sex with other animals that Mati had had sex with. Not monkeys though, because monkey-human sex is just plain wrong. And while they should have gone after the little Indian (feather not dot) kid, he was under-aged so they went after the monkey.
The case against the monkey was ultimately dropped when Mati mysteriously vanished. Foul play was suspected, but they couldn't prove it. Thus the planeteers were forced to break up, and because of this the Antichrist lost his army of brainwashed supporters to fight the tyranny of the religious community. Which is why, on the last Friday of April, we always mourn the day that Mati suddenly disappeared and thus doomed the planet. You may know that day as Arbor Day.
User Reviews
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-12-07 10:42:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by NewGuy08 (user info) at 2005-12-07 10:40:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you the Darko that plays for the Pistons and sits on the bench?
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Nope, my name is Donnie and I am a superhero who fucks with space and time and then dies thanks to a fucked up looking rabbit.
Submitted by NewGuy08 (user info) at 2005-12-07 10:40:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you the Darko that plays for the Pistons and sits on the bench?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-07 10:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW calling the pope a NAZI will get me EVERY TIME.
Especially if you are referring to JPII, who was actually a sympathizer and killed at least 27 of my people because "they killed my saviour, who died for our sins". Oddly enough, he failed to see that if the jews hadn't killed christ, then christ very well couldn't have died for anyone's sins, now could he?
And then religion vanished in a puff of logic, leaving just the jews and a handful of hindus around to enjoy everything.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-07 10:08:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I dunno even though I didn't want to I enjoyed this.
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-12-07 10:04:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-07 09:58:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-12-07 06:03:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Are we officially on the bickerstaff scale of rating posts? If so I think everyone's average is going to drop by over a point.
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not mine.
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Oddly enough, rad will be the only person's who overall rating in fact goes up a point, becoming the first uberer to ever have an average rating above 2.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-07 10:03:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Issac Bickerstaff versus Meep Meeps!
FIGHT!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-07 09:58:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-12-07 06:03:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Are we officially on the bickerstaff scale of rating posts? If so I think everyone's average is going to drop by over a point.
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not mine.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-07 06:11:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You should be ranked agaist your own former work, not other people's. On that scale this is still a -2.
I should never have brought up Bickerstaff. That was horrid of me and I apologise. It's the equivilant of beating a child at a game they take pride in and shitting all over them. I have disgusted myself and I apologise to all and beg forgivness.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-07 06:10:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-12-07 06:03:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Are we officially on the bickerstaff scale of rating posts? If so I think everyone's average is going to drop by over a point.
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That is the first Bickerstaff post I have ever read. I feel a bit awed actually. Legend.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-12-07 06:10:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If Australia is the land down under, and you bury treasure in the land, is it appropriate to say the buried treasure is under the land down under, and if so who would even understand that?
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If one did this it would actually be buried over the land down under, to bury it under the land down under one would have to float it un the air........all this is assuming that we are actually the ones on top.
If Aborigionies had invented teh telescope the globe would be the other way round.
oh fuck.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-12-07 06:08:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This inkles my girdle to quite the degree as I thoroughly enjoy making what little sense I can, if sense can even be made in the first place.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2005-12-07 06:06:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
<insert some "Finals!? Pah, when I was your age..." or "Finals!? Pah, just wait until..." crap here>
Could have been a bit more psycho but I do like the Captain Planet angle.
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-12-07 06:03:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Are we officially on the bickerstaff scale of rating posts? If so I think everyone's average is going to drop by over a point.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-07 05:55:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's a quality post: http://www.ubersite.com/m/53824
Then there's this. Compare the two.
I may be a little grumpy today. If it's any consolation I've eaten a cookie and I'm feeling better.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-07 05:40:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-12-07 05:37:24 (#)
Ranking: 1
Berty and redskies stop licking each other's willy tips.
I liked this, it was amusing and (in parts) well written.
I like this obscure reference - Captain Planet and the Planeteers, I haven't heard anything about them for a long time. I had the game on the amiga.
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The Planeteer who had the 'heart' ring from aforementioned show was voiced by Levar Burton - who was the guy with the wraparound specs in Star Trek. This has always amused me.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-12-07 05:37:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Berty and redskies stop licking each other's willy tips.
I liked this, it was amusing and (in parts) well written.
I like this obscure reference - Captain Planet and the Planeteers, I haven't heard anything about them for a long time. I had the game on the amiga.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-07 04:36:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This story was appalling by the way. Well beneath your usual standard.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-07 04:36:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-07 04:29:35 (#)
Ranking: -2
Go lie down and then go get back to work. If you fuck up now you'll have wasted years of your life.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-07 04:29:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go lie down and then go get back to work. If you fuck up now you'll have wasted years of your life.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-12-07 04:29:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SCHOOL IS FOR QUITTERS....SKATE IT OFF
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2005-12-07 04:10:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-12-07 03:49:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have slept about 8 hours of the last 60 because of finals, and so this post makes complete sense to me