The Music Police Sign Up Sheet (2103 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.9 on 106 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Belle (View user info) at 2005-12-08 10:00:31 EST
I have a dream...
I have a dream that one day there will be an official body of men and women who would consider the merits of songs before they were released into the wilderness to be purchased by morons and dribbling maniacs. I have a dream that that same body would put a stop to all bad music before it was unleashed.
I have a dream that one day, the Music Police will stop us all from suffering at the sounds of songs like:
Naughty Boy 'Phat Beach' - a dance tune based solely on the Baywatch Theme Tune.
My dream would allow the music police to buy the rights to all songs, everywhere - and to only release the rights of re-mix or re-make when the need was just and talented.
And to stop the publication of anything bad... because the public don't seem to be able to tell the difference.
The music police would be allowed to do their own thing for the betterment of all mankind... including even execution of persistent offenders.
No more would there be Jessica Simpson and Ricky Martin plastering their filthy hateful melodies on the unsuspecting, and unprepared public.
No more lame little boys starting pretend rock bands, no more love songs from people not past puberty... and no more misery and heart break from people not old enough to know what Pac-man is (and to have loved it) - it's not difficult to make a teenager depressed. It's what they do - we don't need music for it.
No more hearts lifting when the bars of a favourite song come on - only to have those same hearts break when that song is ripped apart and butchered by someone without the inspiration to write their own masterpiece.
We'd never have to run the risk of a talent less celebrity releasing an album to make even more money that they don't deserve. If we moved quickly Paris Hilton and Hilary Duff could be stopped...
A clampdown on stars making charity singles to help save the lesser spotted flying starfish of outer Mongolia would be instigated. Investigations into the accounts of the celebrity singer would be undertaken, and if it was found that they could actually fund their own good cause without inflicting guilt and pain on the public, then their assets would be seized and their charity of choice backed completely without the masses being bothered - as they, after all, experience real problems and have enough to worry about.
Help me to help humanity! Help me put an end to this madness - help me call to arms all music lovers everywhere, to educated the masses and prevent the atrocities being readied for the market.
First to go would be Puff Daddy (or whatever he calls himself this week) and Eminem.
The first will be charged as being a fraudulent "artiste" - He should be asked "you can't rap, can't dance - what do you do?" and Marshall should be informed that moaning to music about your messed up life, when you have millions in the bank and could buy another child to replace the old one (see Angelina Jolies example), is not appropriate when there is real suffering in the world - and would you please explain dismal failure of the "You've got to vote, but don't vote for bush" song.
Please - let us have no more comedy ballads. No more actors thinking they can sing. No more talent less wannabes polluting the airwaves with crime against humanity. No more charity singles and no more remakes of songs that were perfectly good the first time round.
Sign up and we can make this world a better place!
User Reviews
Submitted by malkavian (user info) at 2005-12-12 10:18:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rubixxcube (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:26:20 (#)
Ranking: -1
Don't listen to radio stations that don't have music you dislike or listen to CDs.
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[sarcasm]Wonderful idea! Let's all blend into the same musical tastes and, why not?- the same opinions and let's all live a *perfect* life in this Brave New World! [/sarcasm]
I agree with rubixxcube, you need to relax, really. Seriously, who cares if they like Ashlee Simpson? They suck and that sad, now move on.
Personnally, I hate everything that's called "police" (even the band). Police leads to totalitarism and dystopia. UGh.
Although I have to admit that I sometimes think that the music industry is unfair. Some shitty bands gets all the gigs and money (The Killers? *vomits*) while some awesome bands are condemned to underground all their life (wich can not be such a bad thing)like Mindless Self Indulgence (perhaps one of the best band in my opinion there is nowadays).
Think about it, if you force everyone into the music YOU love, than your tastes will be the new standards, the new conformism. Your music will be the new siliconed pop/ fake and "popy" "rock"/ [insert shitty muscal genre that rules the industry nowadays]. Don't you like being original and unique? You'll be boring. You'll be mainstream.
Ugh.
Submitted by Bizantine (user info) at 2005-12-10 10:44:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2005-12-10 01:54:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting point, but will their be different music police for different types of music? I, for example, would never let any rap artist pass through into the public airways, or any country, or most other shit, but some people do like that. How do you propose we fix it, professor?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-09 18:24:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 12:11:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you actually met her Jamie? ""
nope, have no desire to either, i hear she's a bit of a trout.
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-12-09 00:15:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ASHLEE SIMPSON IS TEH ROX I HATECHOO
Submitted by subtastic (user info) at 2005-12-09 00:03:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
there's enough bandwidth and airtime for everyone... with digital media you don't have to be subjected to anything anymore. performers, no matter how dubious, should be encouraged.
i also don't like what you don't like, but i don't pretend that my tastes set the standards
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:40:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:42:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:38:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty - thats a second warning.
If immigration find out then you'll be hanging where he is now. Got it?
-----------------------------
If I was gone from Uber for a week then Red would help me. He'd go bounding up to Fabit and Nath and alert them.
Fabit: Slow down northener, it's hard to make out what you're saying.
Nath: What's that you're saying boy? Berty's fallen down a well? Quick, to the spelunking mobile!
---
Hehe.
Good use of spelunking there Berty. Have you noticed I correct people's little grammatical mistakes? It is a disease.
I happen to have an excellent RP accent when I require it. But fuck that 'hoooway the laads'.
Berty has been in a strange mood recently. One can only hope that once Nath sorts out his Berty and the Wheeled Warriors piccie he'll masturbate himself 'til he is placated.
Submitted by BananaPhone (user info) at 2005-12-08 14:48:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now here is a song that should be sung on high from the balconies of the world:
boop be-doobedoop
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana Phone!
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana Phone!
I've got this feeling
It's so appealing
For us to get together and sing, sing!
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana Phone!
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding
Donana Phone!
It grows in bunches,
I've got my hunches,
It's the best!
Beats the rest!
Cellular, modular, interactive-odular
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana Phone!
boop boop-bedoobedoop
Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping
Panana Phone!
It's no baloney,
It ain't a phoney,
My cellular, bananular phone...
Don't need quarters, don't need dimes
To call a friend of mine
Don't need computer, or TV
To have a real good time
I'll call for a pizza
I'll call my cat
I'll call the White House, have a chat
I'll place a call around the world,
Operator get me Bejing-jing-jing-jing-jing....
*sigh* I AM SOOOOOOOOO ALONE...
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-12-08 14:19:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jimmo (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:46:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
I should be on this commitee, I can't begin to list my musical influences, I am a DJ.
The problem we have at the moment is that of an ignorant music buying population, the people with good tastes buy from specialist niches and the people with no taste power the mainstream.
Unfortunatly none of you seem fit. Let me explain, if you hate RnB, you are prejudiced. If you say "in my humble opinion the majority of death metal is shit for it's lack of melody, dancebility and useful complexity, though I have heard some death Metal that was alright", you show yourself as reasonable.
There are no absolutes.
_________________________________________________________________
This is a REALLY good point. Personally, I can't stand stuff like rap, dance music, techno, or whatever. I just can't stand it. I still have respect for those artists though, as they're making something that a lot of people DO like.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-12-08 14:19:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-12-08 12:30:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
HEAT!
"There's no such thing
As a harmless joke
There's no such thing
As a gentle toke
There's no such thing
As panama jack
Who's got the crack?"
-Teh Moldy Peaches
________
did you know that I played a brief stint with the moldy peaches?
true story.
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2005-12-08 14:03:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I will now temper that
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:49:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Socialist, elitist sumbitch.
Next we will go after the books and the ugly children.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:33:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Turn on the radio.
Nah, fuck it turn it off.
Fear is your only God on the radio.
Nah, fuck it, turn it off.
Turn it off. Turn on the radio.
Nah, fuck it turn it off.
Fear is your only god on the radio.
Nah, fuck it...your saviour's my guillotine.
Crosses and kerosene.
Merge on the networks. Slangin' nerve gas.
Up jump the boogie then bang! Let 'em hang.
While the paraniod try to stuff the void,
let's capture this AM mayhem.
Undressed, and blessed by the Lord
the power pendulum swings by the umbilical cord.
Shock around the clock, from noon 'til noon.
Men grabbin' their mics to stuff 'em into the womb.
Terror's the product you push.
Well I'm a truth addict...oh shit, I've got a headrush.
Sheep tremble and here come the votes.
Thrown from the throat new cages and scapegoats.
Undressed and blessed by the Lord
Tha same devil that ran around Managua with a sword.
Check out the new style that Ollie found
I tune in with a bullet to shut down the devil sound.
Submitted by rubixxcube (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:26:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I am not fond of these bubble gum pop artists etc... but the problem you run into is that the music police need to like the same kind of music that you like. When they start banning the music you like then what? While i may not like ashlee simpson's music or ricky martin's music some people out there do or else they wouldn't be selling all of the records that they sell. Don't listen to radio stations that don't have music you dislike or listen to CDs.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-12-08 12:53:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Turn off the radio
Turn off the TV
Submitted by johnhutch (user info) at 2005-12-08 12:52:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Every police squad needs a captain and that's me. I have the best and most varied taste in music of anyone you've ever met andI'm not afraid to admit it.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-08 12:34:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No more lame little boys starting pretend rock bands, no more love songs from people not past puberty... and no more misery and heart break from people not old enough to know what Pac-man is (and to have loved it) - it's not difficult to make a teenager depressed. It's what they do - we don't need music for it.
---------------------------------------------
yes
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-12-08 12:30:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HEAT!
"There's no such thing
As a harmless joke
There's no such thing
As a gentle toke
There's no such thing
As panama jack
Who's got the crack?"
-Teh Moldy Peaches
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-12-08 12:30:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No more lame little boys starting pretend rock bands, no more love songs from people not past puberty... and no more misery and heart break from people not old enough to know what Pac-man is (and to have loved it) - it's not difficult to make a teenager depressed. It's what they do - we don't need music for it.
---------------------------------------------
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 12:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you actually met her Jamie?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-08 12:09:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:39:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
I forgot to mention I also like opera, and drum and bass... and good old fashioned jungle too.
Happy hardcore, sixties soul, motown... etc etc.
Whatever - I just don't really like Folk. ""
told you she was a pikey.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-08 12:08:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/2WWbaderD.htm
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 12:03:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty - make a new post please. I don't care what the subject is, as long as it is good. """
that's cruel demanding berty makes a good post that's like demanding that douglas bader wins the high jump.
-------------------
Who's Douglas Bader?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:57:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:24:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:21:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JewGuy08 (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:19:40 (#)
Ranking: 1
Berty, do you work? You seem to have lots of time on your hands. Good for you
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I work in an eggalitarian office. Responsibility is decided by each individual member and reassesed every morning.
---
Berty - make a new post please. I don't care what the subject is, as long as it is good. """
that's cruel demanding berty makes a good post that's like demanding that douglas bader wins the high jump.
Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:55:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll join this police force. I'd be great, since I have the spirit of the Mountie in me, and we all know that they're the best cops ever.
I propose that we provide Led Zeppelin and The Who albums for all. Who could go back to the shit after The Who?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:49:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I apologise to Red as well, I got carried away.
Submitted by Jimmo (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:49:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy hordcore hey? Fair play for admiting it, I'm mainly, mix in order of quantity: D+B, Jungle, Harcore/ Old Skool, reggae, dancehall, hiphop, house, disco, break beat, Indie, RnB and a bit of anything else.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:47:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:46:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh you are sweet... but you watch yourself.
Right - screw you guys IM going home.
------------------
Don't worry Belle, I'm always watching.
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:46:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Will there be a pledge drive?
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:46:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh you are sweet... but you watch yourself.
Right - screw you guys IM going home.
Submitted by Jimmo (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:46:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I should be on this commitee, I can't begin to list my musical influences, I am a DJ.
The problem we have at the moment is that of an ignorant music buying population, the people with good tastes buy from specialist niches and the people with no taste power the mainstream.
Unfortunatly none of you seem fit. Let me explain, if you hate RnB, you are prejudiced. If you say "in my humble opinion the majority of death metal is shit for it's lack of melody, dancebility and useful complexity, though I have heard some death Metal that was alright", you show yourself as reasonable.
There are no absolutes.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:44:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry Belle, I've gone to far.
I wuv's u v.much.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:43:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:39:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
I forgot to mention I also like opera, and drum and bass... and good old fashioned jungle too.
Happy hardcore, sixties soul, motown... etc etc.
Whatever - I just don't really like Folk.
----------------
You're a kappa slapper! Apollo was right all along! Oh that poor Albanian...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:42:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:38:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty - thats a second warning.
If immigration find out then you'll be hanging where he is now. Got it?
-----------------------------
If I was gone from Uber for a week then Red would help me. He'd go bounding up to Fabit and Nath and alert them.
Fabit: Slow down northener, it's hard to make out what you're saying.
Nath: What's that your saying boy? Berty's fallen down a well? Quick, to the spelunking mobile!
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:39:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I forgot to mention I also like opera, and drum and bass... and good old fashioned jungle too.
Happy hardcore, sixties soul, motown... etc etc.
Whatever - I just don't really like Folk.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:38:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty - thats a second warning.
If immigration find out then you'll be hanging where he is now. Got it?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:37:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:33:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
If this was serious, it would be a -2. If satirical, then well written.
Also:
Who wants to bet she has a 'New Kids on the Block' poster hanging in her bedroom?
------------
The only thing hangy in a bedroom is an Albanian gentleman with an extreemly sore willy who iss tethered by his wrists to the celing.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:37:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know I said Grunge twice, but I did really like it.
Oh, hey - I have never liked or purchased a single or album by a boy band (including New kids on the block).
I was listening to rock when that was considered fantabulous.
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:37:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:33:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
If this was serious, it would be a -2. If satirical, then well written.
Also:
Who wants to bet she has a 'New Kids on the Block' poster hanging in her bedroom?
=-=-=-=
now THAT, is the right stuff, oh oh ohohoh oh oh ohoh
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:35:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, I like everything and anything...
rock, Grunge, 80's heavy metal, sca, brit pop, goth, grunge, garage, house, techno, acid techno, trance, dance, pop, disco, chilled out trip hop, reggae, rap... whatever.
I like Carl Cox, Mickey Finn, the stones, stevie wonder, marvin gaye, snoop, sister sledge, pearl jam, the cure, the jam, the streets, gorrillaz, madness, wham, iron maiden... whoever!
I like everything...
But if its shit its shit.
Most often if I hate a song, I hate it instantly - even when most people think its "alright" or they're loving it for the time being - they eventually join my side (the right side).
I give you "join me dancing naked in the rain" as an example of that. I have always hated that - now everyone does, but it got to number one for fuck sake, so someone must have loved it.
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If this was serious, it would be a -2. If satirical, then well written.
Also:
Who wants to bet she has a 'New Kids on the Block' poster hanging in her bedroom?
Submitted by Jimmo (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:32:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Although it's a good point, what about shit songs released by good bands? Will we have to supress half of John Lennon's works? Who's going to deal with Yoko? "
Shit is shit, only the best please.
Submitted by Jimmo (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:31:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:48:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Funk Soul Brother is not a clearly shit song. It does have some merits - largely the bassline.
It was a release by a generally good band who I believe did not do it solely to make money, and it did express *some* talent. It was new and original, and the video was good.
On this basis, this song would probably have been passed by the Music Police.
First of all, I presume you are talking about "Rocker Fellar Skank" by F*t Bwoy Shit. He is not anywhere near a "generally good band". It would have failed immediately on the "repetition of a vocal sample to death" rule (excepting Woo, Yeah).
It would also have failed on the "No F*t Bwoy Shite" rule.
Now to carry on reading the reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:29:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Belle. What music do you like?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:25:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll post when I'm inspired.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:24:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No... Im not saying we look at the marketeering - and if a song is souless and produced only to make money then it will be banned. There are some songs out there that are actually very good, despite having those flaws...
And there are some songs that are all full of meaning and emotion, but they're actually very very rubbish - like Dido, and Kate Meluauauauauauauauahahauahahahwaawahaw or whatever the fuck her name is.
Awful, just awful - it needs to be stopped. I don't care how many bicycles there are anywhere - its just not right.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:24:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:21:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JewGuy08 (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:19:40 (#)
Ranking: 1
Berty, do you work? You seem to have lots of time on your hands. Good for you
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I work in an eggalitarian office. Responsibility is decided by each individual member and reassesed every morning.
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Berty - make a new post please. I don't care what the subject is, as long as it is good.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:21:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JewGuy08 (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:19:40 (#)
Ranking: 1
Berty, do you work? You seem to have lots of time on your hands. Good for you
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I work in an eggalitarian office. Responsibility is decided by each individual member and reassesed every morning.
Submitted by singingjim (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Although there are some remakes that I actually like, most are shit. Did anyone see Ashley Shitson on SNL? Both times? Holy crap that was bad. Both times. She totally sucks and I've boycotted SNL since then because they should know better. She's not even useful as a semen storage unit, but her sister sure is, and that's about all she's good for. Fuck wholesome kiddie pop. It's subversive, hypocritical, and rots your brain.
Submitted by NewGuy08 (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:19:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Berty, do you work? You seem to have lots of time on your hands. Good for you
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:15:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:09:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Now this is a more valid point. But I still want a music police, and I want to be the facist leader breaking people's fingers for listening to whatever is christmas number 1. I can imagine the uniforms and everything.
----------------
Berty presents exhibit Pogues.
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*This* Christmas' number 1. The Pogues rock however. Except the piano in it, which is a horrible instrument ;)
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:13:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now that I have ground all of your arguments into paste I will disapear back into the shadows like a kind of debating Batman.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:11:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:03:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:49:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Now according to Belle's rules C1ndy is now to be arrested.
----
I'm an excellent teacher, actually. Passed the threshold and everything. I'm an awesome Head of Year too. Don't talk about it on uber though.
-=---------------------
...... 'kay.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:09:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now this is a more valid point. But I still want a music police, and I want to be the facist leader breaking people's fingers for listening to whatever is christmas number 1. I can imagine the uniforms and everything.
----------------
Berty presents exhibit Pogues.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:07:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:59:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns. Just something to keep in mind.
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The other day two neighbours down the road got into a fist fight because one was putting his rubbish out 'in his neighbours spot'. Chav's might rob their dad's hammer and beat shit into someone, but at least they've not robbed their dad's rifle.
You have clearly no idea what a real life 'outlaw' is.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:07:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:03:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, Berty. I've switched playlists and the first track is Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.
Does that meet with your approval?
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Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata = Boring and the piano is a horrible instrument.
Don't bother trying to come up with anything as I intend to criticise everything, regardless of my own thoughts on the music. My point is that all music is shite in somebody's eyes. There is no real meaning to the concepts of right and wrong.
What Belle wants to be taking issue with is the concept of music being about marketeering and not music. It's not a question of defining what is and is not good but rather looking at the music 'industry'.
---
Now this is a more valid point. But I still want a music police, and I want to be the facist leader breaking people's fingers for listening to whatever is christmas number 1. I can imagine the uniforms and everything.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:05:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:58:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
I put up that bird from No Doubts version of "Its my life" as an example as to why the music police and not just needed, but damn well over due.
---
Yes indeed.
I would like to put forward one point however, that of musical isolation. Those people who once they hit the age of 30 decided 'fuck that - no new music - i've heard enough' - or people who are ONLY into Garage or Bangra. It scares me that people can just decide that they will not listen to new stuff.
With this attitude in mind, I do at least have an ear out to the radio, so while Will Young pisses me off beyond all tolerance, I did buy the Nizlopi album on Radio 1's recommendation (and not bad it is either).
What this post should really be about is people who listen to shit music and can't tell that it's shit. People are too willing to accept the shittest most derivative stuff as being immense. I wrote on culture recently, and this is the same thing. We look at Nick Drake and should think 'that is a beautifully crafted piece of music' - instead we get yet another cover of yet another shite song. And the assumption that if some bonny lass in a bikini jumps up and down then i'm going to buy her album.
Fuck that sideways. Shit music - i will not buy it - regardless of how bonny the musician is.
This does not stop me wanting to diddle aforementioned 'musician' - but the only way I would buy their album would be if they were there and I was trying to get into their pants.
Do you see?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:03:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:49:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Now according to Belle's rules C1ndy is now to be arrested.
----
I'm an excellent teacher, actually. Passed the threshold and everything. I'm an awesome Head of Year too. Don't talk about it on uber though.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:03:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, Berty. I've switched playlists and the first track is Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.
Does that meet with your approval?
---------------------
Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata = Boring and the piano is a horrible instrument.
Don't bother trying to come up with anything as I intend to criticise everything, regardless of my own thoughts on the music. My point is that all music is shite in somebody's eyes. There is no real meaning to the concepts of right and wrong.
What Belle wants to be taking issue with is the concept of music being about marketeering and not music. It's not a question of defining what is and is not good but rather looking at the music 'industry'.
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2005-12-08 11:01:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:58:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
I put up that bird from No Doubts version of "Its my life" as an example as to why the music police and not just needed, but damn well over due.
----------------
I'd add DJ Sammy's massacres of Boys of Summer (Don Henley) and Heaven (Bryan Adams - yes, I know, bad enough to start with) to the Prosecution's case.
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:59:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns. Just something to keep in mind.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:59:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:57:04 (#)
Ranking: 1
I am cow, hear me moo, I am twice as big as you
------------
And I look good on the Bar-be-que!
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:58:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:47:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Rockin' the Suburbs - Ben Folds, = Gay
Hash Pipe - Weezer, = Rubbish
Son of a Preacher Man - Dusty Springfield, = probably suggested by her mum or something
Smile like you mean it - The Killers, = Lead singer has no talent, cannot actually sing
Stockholm Syndrome - Muse, = All Muse tracks have the same guitar riff (or so I've heard)
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots - Flaming Lips, = Obligitory 'oh look at me, aren't I eclectic' band.
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - The Beatles, = mummy's help again
New Slang - The Shins, = Who the fuck are these?
The Metre - Powderfinger, = gay (probably, never heard of them)
Oh My God - Kaiser Chiefs. = Awful, awful, marketeers' puppetts.
------------------
Ok, Berty. I've switched playlists and the first track is Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.
Does that meet with your approval?
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:58:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I put up that bird from No Doubts version of "Its my life" as an example as to why the music police and not just needed, but damn well over due.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:57:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I am cow, hear me moo, I am twice as big as you
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:56:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My my... Uber is far less into the old dictatorships as before eh?
But let me get this straight - Racism is cool, the erradication of the jews is cool, and so is the enforced slavery of all women but music perfectionism isn't?
You guys are a little skewed - you know that?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:55:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Keane - Bedshaped. Very nice the first time you hear but gets worse every time you hear it until you realise it's shite.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:54:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And as for being brazilian...
Well - I stand corrected on *some* of my first assumptions... like listening to the eyewitness reports of the guy "running away" and being heavily padded (all of which have since been retracted).
However, I'd like to point out that his death was not in vain - there have been no further shootings or bombings of london since, eh? eh?
Seriously though - I thought that given the circumstances, they were right to have a shoot to kill instruction - and I still stand by that.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:51:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We would stand like this:
Opera, Hymns - these are still forms of music, and therefore subject to the same rules - although there would probably be a crack team of experts to discuss the various merits of each individual song or hymn in relation to the relavence of the lyrics, or the quality of the melody.
on Jingles...
This would have to be opened for discussion. Some of the beauty of jingles is their crapness.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:49:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now according to Belle's rules C1ndy is now to be arrested.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:48:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Funk Soul Brother is not a clearly shit song. It does have some merits - largely the bassline.
It was a release by a generally good band who I believe did not do it solely to make money, and it did express *some* talent. It was new and original, and the video was good.
On this basis, this song would probably have been passed by the Music Police.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:47:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rockin' the Suburbs - Ben Folds, = Gay
Hash Pipe - Weezer, = Rubbish
Son of a Preacher Man - Dusty Springfield, = probably suggested by her mum or something
Smile like you mean it - The Killers, = Lead singer has no talent, cannot actually sing
Stockholm Syndrome - Muse, = All Muse tracks have the same guitar riff (or so I've heard)
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots - Flaming Lips, = Obligitory 'oh look at me, aren't I eclectic' band.
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - The Beatles, = mummy's help again
New Slang - The Shins, = Who the fuck are these?
The Metre - Powderfinger, = gay (probably, never heard of them)
Oh My God - Kaiser Chiefs. = Awful, awful, marketeers' puppetts.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:44:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think I'm more conservative when it comes to punishment and job dodgers, I'd like to see the reintroduction of the death penalty for some things
-----------
Such as being Brazillian if memory serves.
I have taken to rating randomly.
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:44:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:04:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
I present as evidence of my suitability - the last 10 songs to play on my iPod's random shuffle:
Last Goodbye - Jeff Buckley, Pyramid Song - Radiohead, Nobody Does it Better - Carly Simon, Pressure Point - Zutons, New Orleans is Sinking - Tragically Hip, What's New - St Germain, Open Heart Zoo - Martin Grech, Hash Pipe - Weezer, Halycon + On + On - Orbital, Fuck the Pain Away - Peaches
--------------
Excellent choices.
I'll present evidence of my own suitability, based on the same selection criteria.
Rockin' the Suburbs - Ben Folds,
Hash Pipe - Weezer,
Son of a Preacher Man - Dusty Springfield,
Smile like you mean it - The Killers,
Stockholm Syndrome - Muse,
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots - Flaming Lips,
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - The Beatles,
New Slang - The Shins,
The Metre - Powderfinger,
Oh My God - Kaiser Chiefs.
Death to RnB and all boybands!
I would personally like to be Madonna's executioner - can that be arranged?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:43:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Where do we stand on advert jingle's? Opera?
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:42:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty, why did you suddenly decide to minus two this post? (not that I care, it just seemed rather random).
I have a real problem when I vote.
I considered UKIP but I have issues with nazis.
I think I'm more conservative when it comes to punishment and job dodgers, I'd like to see the reintroduction of the death penalty for some things
but I'd like to see ghange legalised when I think about health care, and old people I think it should be a socialist approach...
I want to save the planet and I want bogus immigration to stop, but I'd like to help real assylum seekers who might die if they go back to "where they came from"
I think parents should have the right to smack their children... and so should teachers - but that teachers should get good at their jobs or face a smack themselves.
I am torn - I don't know what I am, or who to vote for. I largely voted last time to keep my job!!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:41:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe. I don't know. Who cares?
Although it's a good point, what about shit songs released by good bands? Will we have to supress half of John Lennon's works? Who's going to deal with Yoko?
Will we have international branches or will we just isolate Britian from the international music community? Will we strip search travelers to make sure they aren't importing forbidden bangra music?
What about hyms?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:35:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:32:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:28:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not saying that this would be a dictatorship - we're talking about "considering" the merits of a song... but we have to admit that not every song has anything to redeem it - and people shouldn't con the public and make money from shit (unless they have a shit selling business, and thats what they want to sell).
------------------------
The Chemical Brothers - 'Funk Soul Brother'
Dylan Moran hates it, what do you think?
---
Thought it was Fat boy slim?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:34:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:31:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty, you have a sister?
Seriously dude, hook me up, I will treat her right. Though I will post the stories on Uber. Particularly if she is into anything kinky.
--------------------
She's asexual, has big hairy arms from working as a forester and plays folk music.
Madly enough, all that is actually true.
---
Hubba Hubba.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:32:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:28:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not saying that this would be a dictatorship - we're talking about "considering" the merits of a song... but we have to admit that not every song has anything to redeem it - and people shouldn't con the public and make money from shit (unless they have a shit selling business, and thats what they want to sell).
------------------------
The Chemical Brothers - 'Funk Soul Brother'
Dylan Moran hates it, what do you think?
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:32:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ClearChannel Communications is preparing a cease and desist letter for you at this very moment.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:31:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty, you have a sister?
Seriously dude, hook me up, I will treat her right. Though I will post the stories on Uber. Particularly if she is into anything kinky.
--------------------
She's asexual, has big hairy arms from working as a forester and plays folk music.
Madly enough, all that is actually true.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:29:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Belle, do you vote tory or labour?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:29:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:27:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
My sister got all the musical talent. She can play anything you put in front of her.
---
Berty, you have a sister?
Seriously dude, hook me up, I will treat her right. Though I will post the stories on Uber. Particularly if she is into anything kinky.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:28:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not saying that this would be a dictatorship - we're talking about "considering" the merits of a song... but we have to admit that not every song has anything to redeem it - and people shouldn't con the public and make money from shit (unless they have a shit selling business, and thats what they want to sell).
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:27:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:24:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
I've more or less given up on music as a form of expression. Instead I just like to sit and listen to the satisfying click of my pen.
---
ooh ooh - or Berty's Wheeled Warriors. You'd be like the first all physically disabled boy band and each of you would have an amusing nickname.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:27:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My sister got all the musical talent. She can play anything you put in front of her.
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:27:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:21:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
no. and elaboration will follow....
variety is the spice of life, and just because we dont like ashlee simpsons music, doesn't mean that other people agree with us.
if i found 9 out of 10 cookies to be bad tasting, i'm sure i could find people to find them all delicious so why would i want to take away from their enjoyment.
---
Free speech was surely about the protection of the right to be political or controversial. What right are we protecting in allowing yet another shitty cover of a song? People have to face up to the fact that they accept shit as being good. If everyone ate McDonalds and got fat, and you were watching them kill themselves, would you stand idly by?
I think parallels can be drawn between that Simpson bitch and the damaging effects of heroin
=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-
heroins boobs aren't nearly as nice as ashlees.
i think people liking bad music and me saying "to each their own" is a little bit different than me watching people commit suicide by big mac.
anyways, if i wanted someone to control what music i was exposed to i would move to somewhere nice like North Korea.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:26:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:24:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
I've more or less given up on music as a form of expression. Instead I just like to sit and listen to the satisfying click of my pen.
---
Berty if you had a band, that would be its name.
And now, The Satisfying Click of my Pen.
You would play awesome african jazz mixed with techno. And it would rock.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:24:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've more or less given up on music as a form of expression. Instead I just like to sit and listen to the satisfying click of my pen.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:23:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:13:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Just look at this site and tell me that these people don't need to be stopped.
http://www.biblebelievers.com/Ives1.html
_______
i think if church had better music more people would go
i went to catholic church as a kid and I always wondered why we had to sing boring songs about jesus giving his life for us on the cross, when black people on TV got to sing and yell all these joyous worship songs and be all like "PRAAAIIIIISE JESUS!!"
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:21:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I have a girl-crush on Ashlee Simpson. That stresses me out, not because of the lesbian feelings involved, but because her music sucks.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:21:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
no. and elaboration will follow....
variety is the spice of life, and just because we dont like ashlee simpsons music, doesn't mean that other people agree with us.
if i found 9 out of 10 cookies to be bad tasting, i'm sure i could find people to find them all delicious so why would i want to take away from their enjoyment.
---
Free speech was surely about the protection of the right to be political or controversial. What right are we protecting in allowing yet another shitty cover of a song? People have to face up to the fact that they accept shit as being good. If everyone ate McDonalds and got fat, and you were watching them kill themselves, would you stand idly by?
I think parallels can be drawn between that Simpson bitch and the damaging effects of heroin.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:19:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I tell you who really feck me off.
The Black Eyed Peas.
Lady Lumps?
I wish they'd all catch on fire.
Belle - did you read my last post? Observe the shameless link. Shlongy gave it a -2, and I have pride in that. -> http://www.ubersite.com/m/80514
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:18:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:09:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:06:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah, and then after we clean up the music community to your specific liking, we can take out all the different types of cookies that you don't like. soon after we clean up the bad cookies we'll move on to sweep up the evil sauces and salad dressings. yeah, that would be cool!
<gives double thumbs up>
---
Shit yeah! Fucking French mustard has got it coming. And prune cookies? The devil's work.
Though on a more serious note - when did you start believing that something as important as music was anything like the topping on your baked goods? Music has got to be one of Mankind's greatest contributions, and as such, it deserves our protection.
And if 9 out of 10 cookies were shit flavoured, would you change your mind?
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
no. and elaboration will follow....
variety is the spice of life, and just because we dont like ashlee simpsons music, doesn't mean that other people agree with us.
if i found 9 out of 10 cookies to be bad tasting, i'm sure i could find people to find them all delicious so why would i want to take away from their enjoyment.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:18:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
only if I can have totalarian authority over the world's music.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73831
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:13:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just look at this site and tell me that these people don't need to be stopped.
http://www.biblebelievers.com/Ives1.html
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:13:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If we are doing this, can we please outlaw that fucking Chipmunks Christmas song? Because I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHO WANTS A HULA HOOP!!!!
I think that song alone is responsible for the elevated suicide rates during the holidays.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:10:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:06:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah, and then after we clean up the music community to your specific liking, we can take out all the different types of cookies that you don't like. soon after we clean up the bad cookies we'll move on to sweep up the evil sauces and salad dressings. yeah, that would be cool!
<gives double thumbs up>
-------------
you sir, are a bad man.
to threaten cookies as such?
atrocious.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:10:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Censorship is Un-American.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:09:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:06:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah, and then after we clean up the music community to your specific liking, we can take out all the different types of cookies that you don't like. soon after we clean up the bad cookies we'll move on to sweep up the evil sauces and salad dressings. yeah, that would be cool!
<gives double thumbs up>
---
Shit yeah! Fucking French mustard has got it coming. And prune cookies? The devil's work.
Though on a more serious note - when did you start believing that something as important as music was anything like the topping on your baked goods? Music has got to be one of Mankind's greatest contributions, and as such, it deserves our protection.
And if 9 out of 10 cookies were shit flavoured, would you change your mind?
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:07:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ashlee needs more rape.
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:06:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah, and then after we clean up the music community to your specific liking, we can take out all the different types of cookies that you don't like. soon after we clean up the bad cookies we'll move on to sweep up the evil sauces and salad dressings. yeah, that would be cool!
<gives double thumbs up>
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:06:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck Free Speech as well, I mean some times the Americans have just got to realise that some rights have responsibilities, and stopping shitty bands from churning out crap is one of them
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:04:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I present as evidence of my suitability - the last 10 songs to play on my iPod's random shuffle:
Last Goodbye - Jeff Buckley, Pyramid Song - Radiohead, Nobody Does it Better - Carly Simon, Pressure Point - Zutons, New Orleans is Sinking - Tragically Hip, What's New - St Germain, Open Heart Zoo - Martin Grech, Hash Pipe - Weezer, Halycon + On + On - Orbital, Fuck the Pain Away - Peaches
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:01:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YEAH!!