Helen Keller jokes. (1337 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1.23 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Greg Webb <trunks_gw.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-12-08 12:58:27 EST
Some of these jokes may not be good for easily offended people.
Q: What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
A1: Corduroy.
A2: Velcro.
Q. Why is all of Helen Keller's face burnt?
A. She was bobbing for french fries.
Q: How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
A: She answer the iron.
Q: How did she burn the other side of her face?
A: They called back.
Q: Why was Helen Keller's leg wet?
A: Her dog was blind too.
Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A. she needs the other to moan with.
Q. How did she burn her fingers?
A. Reading the waffle iron
Q. What did she do when she fell down the well?
A. She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.
Q. How come she didn't scream when she fell off the cliff?
A. She was wearing mittens
Q. Why does she wear skin tight pants?
A. So you can read her lips
Q. Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
A. You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'.
Q. Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll?
A. Wind it up and it walks into walls.
Q. What's this (slowly waving fingers)?
A. Helen Keller moaning
Q: Who is the cruelest man in the world?
A: The guy who raped Helen Keller, then cut off her hands so she couldn't
scream for help.
Q: How come Helen Keller can't have kids??
A: Because she's DEAD!
Q. How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy?
A. Trying to read a stucco wall.
Q: What did HK's parent's do to punish her?
A1: Rearranged the furniture
A2: Left the plunger in the toilet bowl
A3: Put Saran Wrap on the toilet.
A4: Put her in a round room and told her there's a penny in the corner
A5: Washed her hands out with soap
A6: Gave her bird-seed to read.
A7: Glued doorknobs to the walls
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?
A1: She's a woman.
A2: She's dead.
Q: How did Helen Keller break her arm in the car?
A: Trying to read stop signs.
Q: How did HK get poke marks on her face?
A: Learning to eat with a fork.
Q: What's the name of Helen Keller's favorite book?
A: "Around the block in 80 Days"
Q: Define true love.
A: Hellen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.
Q: Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse in the backyard?
A: Neither did she.
Q: How did Helen Keller drive her car?
A: One hand on the wheel; The other on the road.
Q: How did Helen Keller meet her husband?
A: On a blind date!
Q: How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?
A: Answering the stapler.
Q: How did Helen Keller's teachers punish her for talking in class?
A: They made her wear mittens.
Q: Why didn't Helen Keller change her baby's diaper?
A: So she could always find him.
Q: Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers?
A: from whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear
Q: How did Helen Keller pick her eyes out?
A: She shouted histerically.
User Reviews
Submitted by pfs4life321 (user info) at 2005-12-24 00:35:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
blahh
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-10 08:47:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Motion carries.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-10 07:59:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:04:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
I just took a vote, Greggy, and the results are in.
You fucking stink.
---
seconded
Submitted by JSultan (user info) at 2005-12-10 07:22:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2005-12-09 16:46:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dude...those are written IN ORDER from one of the books from the Truly Tasteless series.
-2 for faggotry.
Submitted by CallmePaige (user info) at 2005-12-09 16:29:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony stuck a feather in her hat and called it "Urggghghggerrrgrrr."
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2005-12-09 06:57:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why was this posted under 'humor'?
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:22:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
meh.
old hat.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:20:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i dunno, i never get tired of Helel Keller jokes
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:08:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:00:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, no they weren't.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:00:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
These were funny twenty years ago.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2005-12-08 18:39:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
But, Helen Keller could speak English pretty well, so there goes the basis of half of these really funny jokes
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-12-08 18:06:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
LOLZ
Submitted by NewGuy08 (user info) at 2005-12-08 17:59:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hellen Keller jokes are as original as the latest reality tv series that came out
Submitted by KAMI (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:12:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
why does this post suck?
because you're a shit-diver
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-08 14:57:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Q: What is Greg Webb's favorite color?
A1: Corduroy.
A2: Velcro.
Q. Why is all of Greg Webb's face burnt?
A. She was bobbing for french fries.
Q: How did Greg Webb burn the side of her face?
A: She answer the iron.
Q: How did Greg Webb burn the other side of her face?
A: They called back.
Q: Why was Greg Webb's leg wet?
A: Her dog was blind too.
Q. Why does Greg Webb masturbate with one hand?
A. she needs the other to moan with.
Q. How did Greg Webb burn her fingers?
A. Reading the waffle iron
Q. What did Greg Webb do when she fell down the well?
A. She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.
Q. How come Greg Webb didn't scream when she fell off the cliff?
A. She was wearing mittens
Q. Why does Greg Webb wear skin tight pants?
A. So you can read her lips
Q. Why did Greg Webb's dog commit suicide?
A. You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'.
Q. Have you heard of the new Greg Webb doll?
A. Wind it up and it walks into walls.
Q. What's this (slowly waving fingers)?
A. Greg Webb moaning
Q: Who is the cruelest man in the world?
A: The guy who raped Greg Webb, then cut off her hands so she couldn't
scream for help.
Q: How come Greg Webb can't have kids??
A: Because she's DEAD!
Q. How did Greg Webb drive herself crazy?
A. Trying to read a stucco wall.
Q: What did Greg Webb's parents do to punish her?
A1: Rearranged the furniture
A2: Left the plunger in the toilet bowl
A3: Put Saran Wrap on the toilet.
A4: Put her in a round room and told her there's a penny in the corner
A5: Washed her hands out with soap
A6: Gave her bird-seed to read.
A7: Glued doorknobs to the walls
Q: Why can't Greg Webb drive a car?
A1: She's a woman.
A2: She's dead.
Q: How did Greg Webb break her arm in the car?
A: Trying to read stop signs.
Q: How did Greg Webb get poke marks on her face?
A: Learning to eat with a fork.
Q: What's the name of Greg Webb's favorite book?
A: "Around the block in 80 Days"
Q: Define true love.
A: Greg Webb and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.
Q: Did you know that Greg Webb had a dollhouse in the backyard?
A: Neither did she.
Q: How did Greg Webb drive her car?
A: One hand on the wheel; The other on the road.
Q: How did Greg Webb meet her husband?
A: On a blind date!
Q: How did Greg Webb pierce her ear?
A: Answering the stapler.
Q: How did Greg Webb's teachers punish her for talking in class?
A: They made her wear mittens.
Q: Why didn't Greg Webb change her baby's diaper?
A: So she could always find him.
Q: Why did Greg Webb have yellow fingers?
A: from whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear
Q: How did Greg Webb pick her eyes out?
A: She shouted histerically.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-12-08 14:01:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Why is Hellen Keller a good driver?
She's a woman.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:56:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Worst ever, damnit... The hell you're getting WORST ever.
You're still a fag.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:55:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The hell you're getting best ever.
Fag.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:52:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
the first one was kinda funny
the others werent
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:45:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
And one very bad post per day is too much kiddo
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:44:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:36:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
suck on a tailpipe, shitblock.
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:31:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here is a fun activity for you that is about the same as reading this post:
1) Cut electric cord off computer
2) Place bare wire end against your ballsack
3) Plug into wall outlet.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:29:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
El Suckodor.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:29:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
she was a deaf/blind/mute woman from earlier on in the 20th century. they made a play/movie bout her called the miracle worker, or well kind of more about the woman that taught her to function like a human.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:25:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:19:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:19:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh... could you explain who Hellen Keller is for the awesomeness that is the British users of Uber?
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:08:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Really, you suck. Does your mom know that you are using the internet? I'm sure she'd be pissed that you are wasting minutes out of her 1,000 hour a month AOL plan.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:05:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Get banned, troll
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:05:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
THIS is new and interesting.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:04:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I just took a vote, Greggy, and the results are in.
You fucking stink.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-12-08 13:00:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
arrrg. (and not in teh pirate way either,
or that pirate way. goddamn it)