What to do with all the Jews? (1611 hits)
Category: PoliticsLabels: ETS_Sociopolitical_Commentary ETS_Comedy_Writing
Rating: 1.19 on 77 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (View user info) at 2005-12-08 15:30:54 EST
"Now the LORD said to Abraham, 'Go forth from your country, And from your relatives And from your father's house, To the land which I will show you; And I will make you a great nation, And I will bless you, And make your name great; And so you shall be a blessing; And I will bless those who bless you, And the one who curses you I will curse. And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed'" (Genesis 12:1-3)
And thus it began...
For thousands of years God's covenant with Abraham has cemented the assertion that so long as the Jewish people kept their end of the bargain and were faithful to God, they could never be wrong. In short, they are the chosen, and that's that.
Needless to say, that kind of attitude has caused a few small problems - not least of which is the big "NO, WE WERE HERE FIRST" hulaballoo over the holy land. This is like watching kindergarteners fight over a Tonka toy, while the dads of the world all say "give that back to the Jews and leave them alone". Then the other kid stomps back to his room to stuff nitroglycerine in a ruksack, or whatever it is kindergarteners do for fun nowadays.
Nobody likes Mr. Know-it-all and everybody resents Mr. Can't-be-wrong, especially when they believe they can't be wrong themselves. This, I imagine, was central to Hitler's resentment and one of the reasons for the holocaust. Also, Hitler understood a time-honored human tradition: when things go terribly wrong, find an easy scapegoat and people will be happy. Every culture has their version of it...
When something went wrong in Mayan or Aztec society, it was assumed the sun god was angry and, therefore, required an extra helping of human blood.
During medieval times, they blamed their lack of hygeine on the pagans and those pesky, omnipresent witches.
During episodes of constipation, tubgirl blames Kellogg's Cornflakes.
When Rome burned in the first century (a fire believed to have been set by emperor Nero himself) the Christians were blamed. The Christians were like the Deadheads of the time and were regarded a sorta white trash hippies - except instead of waiting for Jerry Garcia to sign their bag of weed, they were waiting for a dead guy to show back up and save them or something. I'm a little fuzzy on the details, but it has something to do with some Jebus? guy maybe? Who knows. Moving on...
In other news, the president of Iran, Bananarama Chumbawumba, or something, recently declared that he doubts the holocaust ever happened and that the Jews were just using that as an excuse to loiter in the middle east and push around the people of Palestine. Man, I don't know who this guy's PR rep is, but that is one brilliant motherfucker. The Iranian president went on to say that the Jews should move to Europe and that European nations who support an Israeli state should donate some of their own land for the Jews to settle on. All of this came on the heels of President Chumbawumba's highly diplomatic statement "Israel should be wiped off the face of the map".
That's some good hate right there! Shit, if President Chumbawumba were on ubersite, he'd be on most heated by now, for sure. It wouldn't be long before the Cyst Master made a post of he and the Iranian President fucking dead girls in the ass with a colostomy bag.
All joking aside... The man might have a slight point.
I mean, what is land anyway? What does it matter WHERE you are if your faith is strong enough? What's with all this 'Holy Land' shit anyway? Isn't ALL land holy if God created it? What's the fucking difference? Move on. Get over it. Why does everyone insist on settling in the same spot? Spread out a little! At least that way it'll be harder to kill each other. Who knows...maybe you can come up with an even dumber reason to kill each other than religion...like whether or not it's ok to wear white after labor day, or whether the beer 'tastes great' or is indeed 'less filling'. Make something up. Fuck, you're all obviously good at it.
I propose we put this whole 'middle east conflict' thing to bed once and for all. I propose we here in the United States donate a small portion of our land to the cause. We can let the Jews move there so that they can finally have some peace. Cause, let's face it, moving to the holy land to escape persecution was just a dumb idea to begin with.
But it needs to be somewhere safe...somewhere wholesome...somewhere there's no CHANCE they'll run into some crazy religious conflict.
I GOT IT!
User Reviews
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-04-22 01:26:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously I hate the whole fighting charade that this place has become...but Brad, you speak the truth.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-22 01:16:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
watching the progress of deterioration, this has truly been fascinating
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-22 00:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The answer is throw them down the well
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-22 00:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How did I miss this? Thanks ma nigga.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-12-12 14:28:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by nate (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:11:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Doubt it, Iran firing nukes at israel would result on them gaining nothing and losing everything. It's not the religious aspect, that's the veil, they want the land. Although I would put it past muslims destroying even more of their own ancient sites, it would be the last situation in which to use nuclear weapons considering all they want is the land, and they only way they could have it is as molten slag. I find the topic interesting, but I don't think anything joked about it would make me laugh, not out of respect or anything, just because I think it's a dry well.
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I don't think they want the land, they want the conflict, the fight, it keeps the people from complaining about how shitty their lives are if they can blame Israel.
I think they know if they had Israel they would just fuck it up.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-12-09 16:20:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Before the Jews came, Israel was a desert wasteland... It takes a couple of generations of Jews to do this and probably never could happen under the rule of the dogs of Islam.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-09 07:49:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Mom and wife jokes?
I could have sworn you said that you were over 14 years old.
Have you been lying to us all this time, ETS?
Here...have a cookie...and some more tissues.
Submitted by jollydodger (user info) at 2005-12-08 23:40:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some valid points. While we're at it you can have Zimbabwe as well. And I propose we move California to the Ukraine, just to see what happens.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-08 22:50:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet ETS was that kid in high school that picked fights with everyone because he actually liked the way it felt to get punched in the face.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 21:39:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-08 21:32:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I've run out of them, Bradley. The only one I haven't stalked is Loren, and she would ruin my shit twelve ways til Sunday.
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Well, Georgie, me boy, you know, I can't help it if they love me more. If you like, I'll let you work security for me, then you can have first crack at the rejects. ;)
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-08 21:32:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I've run out of them, Bradley. The only one I haven't stalked is Loren, and she would ruin my shit twelve ways til Sunday.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 21:27:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We don't need a referee, Method.
Don't you have an uberfemale to stalk or something?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-08 21:24:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 21:11:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't shop at SAV A LOT. I'll have to get back to you on the rest as I am currently receiving a blow job from your wife and mother who, by the way, told me to say "hi". Oh, and your wife says to check the microwave for your dinner and your geritol is in the brown bag on the night stand. She also says to tell you that that Preparation H cream is in there too.
She also says "whaawhawhawhahwahwa"...
...but that's only when my cock is in her mouth.
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you know you've lost the argument when you have to resort to mom and wife jokes.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 21:12:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-08 21:11:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
What was it that Filthy said on one of ETS's old posts? Something about slapping each other with silk gloves or something?
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I think it was "you two should calm down before this comes to 'handbags at dawn'".
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 21:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:52:31 (#)
Ranking: -2
Tell me Dr. Phil...which parts of my observations are inaccurate?
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I don't shop at SAV A LOT. I'll have to get back to you on the rest as I am currently receiving a blow job from your wife and mother who, by the way, told me to say "hi". Oh, and your wife says to check the microwave for your dinner and your geritol is in the brown bag on the night stand. She also says to tell you that that Preparation H cream is in there too.
She also says "whaawhawhawhahwahwa"...
...but that's only when my cock is in her mouth.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-08 21:11:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What was it that Filthy said on one of ETS's old posts? Something about slapping each other with silk gloves or something?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:52:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Half the time , when I get a -2 on one of MY posts, I thank the idiot for stopping by and later, meet up with him or her and buy him/her a couple of cocktails.
When it happens to you...You throw a fit like I imagine Electro does when he doesn't get to watch "Saved By The Bell" at its' usual time.
Tell me Dr. Phil...which parts of my observations are inaccurate?
You can take your time and get back to me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:48:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm also extremely intelligent so when I say that you should seek professional help...you should probably pay attention to your elders.
You need it.
Also, I'll probably -2 your whiny ass on your next 27 posts so you may want to run down to the local "SAV A LOT" and stock up on Kleenex.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:48:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno Bradley, I think he got you there.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:45:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahahahaha
Shlongy, you're delightfully pathetic sometimes.
It's endearing, truly.
I particularly like the way you so eloquently throw in the "well.....JUST CAUSE! BLOW ME!" at the end of all your 'scathing' reviews. You're a true one of a kind. Sorry, one of 'four or five' kinds.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:39:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What is Ubersite to me?
Let's see...in no particular order...
- a web site to check out when I'm playing online poker
- a web site to check out when I'm downloading hockey fights (http://www.hockeyfights.com/videos/)
- a web site where I can get attention and sometimes, create a few chuckles
- a web site where I can sometimes,make adults and teenagers alike cry like babies.
Also, it's none of your fucking business.
I know what it is to you.
Your life.
Pathetic, you fucking crybaby. You acknowledge every -2 on one of your posts and react like someone just stabbed your mom in the face with a meat cleaver.
You might want to seek psychiatric help. I'm serious.
In the meantime, dry your eyes. And blow me.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:29:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy:
You're such a humanitarian. Spending all this time online for a handfull of internet stranges because they happen to share the same artificial "Personality Type".
In my book, that translates to: asshole with no social life or shred of creativity left in his aging brain.
What is ubersite to you Jeffrey? Is this your version of a midlife crisis? Did you have a nervous breakdown and decide that since you're too old for the loud music and fast lifestyle that is the bane of all senior citizens, and instead of going out and buying an expensive sportscar or something like normal, socially-adjusted people your age do, you thought you'd buy a computer and torment some people online to fill some void in your pathetic soul?
I think that's it, Jeffrey.
Don't lie... You can tell ol' ETS.
Here, lie on the couch, you geriatric CARD, you!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:19:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow. A pompous blowhard AND an astute observer of the human condition!
I can't BELIEVE some sweaty, hairy-armpitted broad with a slight mustache hasn't snapped you up yet!
My Uber contributions can only be recognized by an extraordinary, highly evolved and super intellect Type "A" personality.
In this room, there are 4...maybe 5 tops, who qualify. I'm here just for them.
Oh, and to occasionally, make you cry like a little girl.
Wipe your nose.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:09:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:48:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm sorry...perhaps if I elaborate a bit, I can make you happy.
Shut the fuck up, you pompous blowhard.
Now go grab your box of tissues.
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Shlongy's calling ME pompous. That's a riot.
Shlongy, I don't really seem to recall the last thing you contributed to this site of any value. Is that just me?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:06:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:43:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
i would never presume you weren't versed in the bible. I did however presume that you aren't israeli and without having lived there, you would never fully understand the problem.
Kind of like 'Nam.
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I'll concede that. I wasn't trying to offer any real solutions here. It was just a joke.
I still maintain that the crux of the problem - the conflict over differences of ideas, culture, and land - are pointless and trivial, no matter how you define your religion. Even more so since believers in the importance of spirit over material, and the rewards of eternal immorality in heaven are the ones quibbling over such nonsense.
It's really a matter of simply putting one's money where one's mouth is, for if you truly believed in eternal salvation, nothing about this temporary world should really phase you.
And don't hand me this Jewish dogma stuff either, because if practicing Jews really believed in their Torah, they'd still be stoning people in the streets for everything from adultery to homosexuality to being raped and not screaming loudly enough.
The truth of the matter is: the religions of the past are becoming less and less relevant in modern society. And the more irrelevant they become, the more people fight to maintain them.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:48:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm sorry...perhaps if I elaborate a bit, I can make you happy.
Shut the fuck up, you pompous blowhard.
Now go grab your box of tissues.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:43:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i would never presume you weren't versed in the bible. I did however presume that you aren't israeli and without having lived there, you would never fully understand the problem.
Kind of like 'Nam.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:36:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ETS, I understand where you are coming from but you seem to be superimposing your culture and values on other people's (read: teh j00s), and you know as well as I do that is an intellectual and philisophical mind trap.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:30:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fudgepacker:
Jesus H. Christ, you are a tough crowd.
I disagree with you about land. While our human hearts can be attracted and tied to a particular place, that's not where our true spirit lies. That's not where 'God' dwells. If God dwells anywhere at all, he dwells in all things, not just a strip of land off the Mediterranean, and certainly not in a collection of buildings of stone and morter.
Wherever you go, there you are. It's that simple. You are born into this world with nothing, and you will die with nothing. If you're a true Jew, you'll understand the concept of the spirit being far more important than the material. Thou shalt not covet.
Furthermore, if you want to rip out the Bible and wax intellectual-like on it, I'm game, but don't presume I don't know a thing or two about the book I was raised on.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:25:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:42:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
that president chumba guy does nothing but piss the night away. I want to knock him down with my car, but he'll just get back up and drink a whisky. I can never seem to keep him down.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:19:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah
living wit da mo-mos
\
at least I'm staying in Nevada.
I am building a cabin up near Mormon Mesa.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:18:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Isn't all land holy?" According to the bible, no. When the Hebrews were led out of Egypt, God told Moses that he would lead them to "a land flowing with milk and honey." Then known as Cana'an (now Israel plus the Sinai peninsula), this was the land promised to Abraham all those years ago when God made the covenant with him.
For all recorded time, this land in question has been disputed. This tiny strip of land that is no bigger than New Jersey has been the cause of more deaths per square foot than any other piece of property in the world.
To simply write off thousands of years of history by saying "Move on. Get over it," you not only insult those that died for that land, but also those that inhabot it today.
"What the is land anyway?" you ask. Well, put simply, land is a home for those who live there.
Would you like it if Jacques Chirac singled you out and said "wherever ETS lives should be wiped off the face of the map." ? I'm guessing no. I'm guessing you would fight for your land. I'm guessing you would stand up and defend your territory.
It's obvious to me that you are a witty person who knows nothing about the plight of Israel today and felt like voicing an uneducated, albeit eloquent, opinion.
Yes, the Salt Lake City thing was a joke. I got it. But you should know that the Israelis will continue to fight for their homeland until the end of time. It's just how we roll (yes, I'm Israeli).
So before you make such outrageous claims, get yourself educated on the topic. It's very easy to look up a quote in the bible (as you did). It's not so easy to understand it.
Submitted by nate (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:11:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Doubt it, Iran firing nukes at israel would result on them gaining nothing and losing everything. It's not the religious aspect, that's the veil, they want the land. Although I would put it past muslims destroying even more of their own ancient sites, it would be the last situation in which to use nuclear weapons considering all they want is the land, and they only way they could have it is as molten slag. I find the topic interesting, but I don't think anything joked about it would make me laugh, not out of respect or anything, just because I think it's a dry well.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:09:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mormons and Jews in the same state? That could be VERY entertaining.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:07:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really like orange jews
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:05:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Besides...if you think there isn't going to be a repeat of the Holy War, then not only do you not understand history, but you don't understand human nature either.
It's amazing, you know, what a little enriched uranium can do to even the best equipped army.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:03:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nate, are you always this humorless? Seriously...I'm not trying to bust your balls here. I'd genuinely like to know. I think I can speak for a lot of us around here who have observed how clenched your ass cheeks are. It's like you're making diamonds in there or sumthin'.
Submitted by nate (user info) at 2005-12-08 18:58:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the "holy war" was 60 years ago, there isn't going to be a repeat, if the israelis couldn't be defeated without sufficient munitions, compulsory conscription, an airforce, the assistance of the US, or nuclear armament, and already half of the original arab coalition has had its armies reduced to token forces, they are pretty much there to stay. I know it's a joke, but they wouldn't want to move to utah any more than you do.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 18:47:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-08 17:03:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
Shut the fuck up.
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Ooooo, look at the critically acclaimed Reviewsmith, Shlongy. Did you come up with that little gem all by yourself?
That's so precious!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 18:45:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not talking about fucking the Jews out of what they have, nate. I'm talking about allowing them the opportunity to trade in their arid Israeli land for arid Utah land. That's all. No harm, no foul. Quid pro quo and all that. Not taking sides here...just tryin' to help out my heebs and bring about world peace. You know, as opposed to the Holy War that's bound to erupt if nothing's done.
Eh, I wouldn't expect you to understand. You're a fucking pessimist anyway.
Piss off.
Submitted by nate (user info) at 2005-12-08 18:28:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It isn't about religion. Israel was established by eastern european jews, they needed a close place where they could buy cheap land, considering they could trace their heritage back to the area, why not? They buy the land, piece by piece, set up kibbutzim, the arab landowners sit around thinking how much they fucked over the jews by selling them malaria filled swamplands, the israelis go ahead and irrigate their land and convert it to something hospitable, the arabs decide the land looks pretty attractive right then, the arab coalition tells all the locals living near the kibbutzim to take shelter in jordan, iraq, lebanon while the jews are erradicated so they can steal back the land in better condition they sold it it. The "palestinians" leave expecting to return to find the jews gone, tens of millions of arabs could not kill half a million israeli soldiers, and suddenly the "palestinians" are shit out of luck. Integrate into surrounding countries? No, the "palestinians" decide if they complain enough eventually they will get "their" land back. None of the original "displaced people" are even alive.
If your neighbor moved out of his house because he had hired somebody to firebomb your house so he could claim your property and he was worried about his OWN safety, after you've kill the guy who comes to bomb your house would you welcome your neighbor back to his home to live next to you?
Israel had the right to massacre every last one of the palestinians, after all, that is what the palestinians were supporting to happen to the israelis. Anything less than that is pure mercy. Palestinian kid found on the gaza strip with a slingshot in his hand and no head on his shoulders? Tough shit, don't throw rocks at tanks when you're the guest in those tank owner's home.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-12-08 17:46:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A noble idea. Mormons have special underwear.
http://nowscape.com/mormon/undrwrmo.htm
Weirdos.
-EMC
Preaching religious intolerance and hate from the home office in Bentarmpit, WY
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-12-08 17:18:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A society that believes in nothing is always scared and confused by societies that believe in something.
I suggest we let the Jews and Moslems duke it out. They obviously want to fight for that land so why not just let them? I hate both of them anyway. I hope they're both destroyed.
Submitted by Sheba (user info) at 2005-12-08 17:11:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-08 17:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shut the fuck up.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:49:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
God said to Abraham "Kill me a son".....
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:49:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:43:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
WTF IM NOT READING ALL THAT?!?!?!?
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Don't make me flip out, Method. The post is still too young and immature for that.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:47:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:42:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
Jews like beachfront property...
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Yes, but Jews also like big salty lakes.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:43:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
WTF IM NOT READING ALL THAT?!?!?!?
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:42:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jews like beachfront property, just go ahead and formally turn Florida over to them and have done with it. And ship all the fucking beaners back to Cuba.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:39:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, if the Jews move out to Utah, they might actually make the state a full square again.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:37:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rad, fo' rizzle! You really goin' to live wit da Mo-mos?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:35:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:28:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
What it be, my heeb?
Representin da 6-pointy up in teh hizzle!
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Awww yea! Slide me some skin, cuz!
No, that's foreskin.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:32:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG A MORMON JOKE RIGHT THERE AT THE VERY END
GLAD IM NOT LEAVING LAS VEGAS TO GO LIVE IN MORMON LAND.
*cries ginormous ETS EMO tears*
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:30:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:27:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha. That big lake is shaped like fuck-me boots.
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It looks to me like a one-armed, legless gnome with a pointy hat who's about to jump on a skateboard so he can catch a flight out of the country.
Submitted by mtgn37 (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:29:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thoughtful and funny. me likey.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:28:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What it be, my heeb?
Representin da 6-pointy up in teh hizzle!
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:27:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha. That big lake is shaped like fuck-me boots.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:19:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ticket eh? $25 a pop sound good? we can hold it at the alamo dome say round christmas?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:15:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:13:02 (#)
Ranking: 1
HERE'S A BIG SHOUT-OUT TO THE SIX POINTY, MY HEEB-BRO!!!!!!
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You've just been HEEBED.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:13:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
HERE'S A BIG SHOUT-OUT TO THE SIX POINTY, MY HEEB-BRO!!!!!!
(that cracks me up everytime, Rad)
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:06:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:33:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tub Girl is a good analogy for history.
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Hahahahaha!
The Jews should come establish their new ethnic homeland in my basement, just in time for Hannukah. We can hang out, read the Torah, eat latkes, and spin the dreidel till we puke. Woo!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:01:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nuke em all - make Jerusalem a sea of radioactive glass, that place has been nothing but trouble since the beginning of time.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:55:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:42:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
that president chumba guy does nothing but piss the night away. I want to knock him down with my car, but he'll just get back up and drink a whisky. I can never seem to keep him down.
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He sounds like my kinda guy.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:54:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:49:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah but dominionist christians NEED the jews to get israel back to the second coming actually, well, comes. that's why the assholes in charge did that whole israel/palestine hoobub half a century ago.
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[I blame the prophets. Fucking prophets...always sticking their nose in the future where it doesn't belong!]
on another thing, i wonder who'd win the jews or the mormons. mormons can fight dirty, but jews are like cockroaches i mean nothing wipes them out. like ever.
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I don't know who'd win, but I'm sure it would sell a LOT of tickets.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:53:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
if President Chumbawumba were on ubersite, he'd be on most heated by now, for sure.
--
line made me chuckle.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:51:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was thinking we should let them move in to Mexico and let them financially stabalize the place but they'd probably go apeshit when they encounter their first hurricane.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:50:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:48:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
I know- was just referring to your examples of folks finding scapegoats.
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Well, Bush DOES hate teh blacks.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:49:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah but dominionist christians NEED the jews to get israel back to the second coming actually, well, comes. that's why the assholes in charge did that whole israel/palestine hoobub half a century ago. on another thing, i wonder who'd win the jews or the mormons. mormons can fight dirty, but jews are like cockroaches i mean nothing wipes them out. like ever.
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:48:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know- was just referring to your examples of folks finding scapegoats.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:43:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As seen on the Uberboard as I read this post:
"There is no problem that a high-power assault rifle can't solve."
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:42:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that president chumba guy does nothing but piss the night away. I want to knock him down with my car, but he'll just get back up and drink a whisky. I can never seem to keep him down.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:39:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:37:52 (#)
Ranking: 1
I love how the lower 9th ward evacuees are asserting that white folks blew up the levees to get rid of all the low income blacks in N.O.
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As do I.
Unfortunately, this post was about Jews, though. Thanks for playing. :P
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:38:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah I liked that.
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:37:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I love how the lower 9th ward evacuees are asserting that white folks blew up the levees to get rid of all the low income blacks in N.O.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:37:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:33:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
This post was pretty funny.
Tub Girl is a good analogy for history.
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Caul, tubgirl is a good analogy for LIFE.
It's like...how life always shits in your face and stuff.
Yea.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-08 15:33:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post was pretty funny.
Tub Girl is a good analogy for history.