Remembering The Good Ol' Days (and by good I mean bad) (819 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.54 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ping pong ping pong ping panana phone (View user info) at 2005-12-08 19:30:33 EST
I was out for one last unicycle ride before the snows came. Just cruising along, waving to the people staring like they just saw a hot guy ride by on unicycle... oh wait. Anyway, I was cruising down the street when I happened upon a group of maybe 12-13 year olds.
As usual, I got a few cheers, some stupid comments, and some little dick who made a circus joke. I ignored them and carried on, but it brought back some memories.
Back when I was just a wee little boy, in grade 8. Woo! Those were the good times.
Have you ever done something that seemed funny at the time, but now that you think about it, it really was just idiotic?
Well, that was grades 7 to 9. The years where nothing mattered.
So, to pass the time, and maybe entertain a few people on this shit post thursday, here are a few tales of pre-teen shenanigans.
The time my swim coach got so pissed at us he threw a bench into the pool. Then made us bring it back up again.
The shitty school I went to, that had mold growing on the ceilings around broken, dripping pipes. They put garbage cans under these drips to catch the scummy water, and one guy ran into one, which spilled shit water all over him.
The first time I went drinking, and one guy pissed himself. I was 15, one of the later people to give in to beer pressure.
The countless "your mom" and "that's what she said" jokes.
[guy trying to open a cabinet with the wrong key]
"It's too small, it won't even fit!"
"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"
*giggle*
The time the class slut/blonde/attention whore came to school with paper cuts across her wrists, telling everyone she tried to kill herself. Hah! Stupid girl, everyone knows it's down the highway, not across the street...We made so much fun of her that day, I could have sworn she would've killed herself.
She wasn't in school the next few days...
The time on of the guys choked a teacher with her scarf. Three times.
My first beer bash, laughing at the guy passed out in the bathtub, pants around his ankles and a steaming pile of shit on the floor. We took pictures.
Drawing multiple flip-action stickman drawings involving death and disembowelment in my english novel.
My grade 8 English intern. 21 years of cute blonde ass in a miniskirt. Many a pencil was dropped in that class, I tell you. Hell, I even caught the teacher taking a peek.
My Hawaiian-themed junior prom. We all got lay'd. hyuckhyuckhyuckhyuck...
The times my grade 9 math teacher would appear at the door of my english class, and they would both disappear for 10 minutes. Then, he'd come back with his shirt untucked, hair messed up and the top 3 buttons undone.
"Miss, Johnny's being fat and he's picking on me!"
"Johnny! Go to the office!"
I miss those years. I miss being able to make fun of people who played pokemon, while being able to name all 472.5 of them myself. Hell, I probably still can.
So, in an attempt to get some heat going, I ask you, Uber, to amuse us with your stories.
Please?
That is all.
User Reviews
Submitted by mtgn37 (user info) at 2005-12-09 11:42:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
in 9th grade there was a corner that me and my friends hung out in before school. there was a window there that we spit loogies on everyday. it was crusty and yellow and the janitors never ever cleaned it. i went back to that school when my lil bro got there and i went and saw the window. it had been cleaned but it had a permanent yellow film stain. we were so cool in 9th grade.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-09 01:12:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
this post made me happy.
i remember the time a friend tried to teach me to use his nunchakus...
wait, that was today.
nevermind.
Submitted by Lmarie22000 (user info) at 2005-12-08 21:44:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In high school:
Smoking cigarettes behind the sports storage barn like crackheads needing a fix. "I need a goddman cigarette!"
I ate some mushrooms with my chicken nuggets at lunch one day. Needless to say, I left school quite promptly only to go to my friends house and find my friends tripped out too. So we ate mushrooms all day and laughed and laughed...
What's up with girls smearing their bloody tampons and pads all over the bathroom stalls?
One time...at high school...this guy sprayed a fire extinguisher through the hallway, then in the cloud of smoke, fell to the ground fake-seizing. The teachers freaked out and ran to him, only to see him laughing his ass off as he got up. Awesome.
I dated a football player who drove a red firebird. He tried to finger me, and it was terrible. He had no idea what he was doing. I almost laughed in his fat jock face. I broke up with him.
This keg party got busted up once. When the cops arrived, we all scattered of course. He laughed and said we looked like cockroaches running around. So many kids tried to jump a fence at once, we broke the fucker down. Then I ran through a sprinkler and hid behind a bush. A cop found me, drove me back to the party, and let me find my friends so we could go home. That was fun...
The first time I got high I was in this kid's room. I was just starting to feel all fucked up, when he dumped out a backpack that was full of bags of pot. Wide eyed, I just stared. Then *BANG BANG BANG* His MOM was knocking on the door. "What are you doing in there?!"
I about had a heart attack.
Submitted by Dante_Alighieri (user info) at 2005-12-08 21:11:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When I was in 5th grade, I kicked some kid so hard in the ass that he passed out.
It was fucking hilarious.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-08 21:00:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Meh. Sounds to me like all these hazy memories weren't really that long ago - like last year maybe?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:22:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't know if this -2 will entertain a supreme wit such as yourself, but it's the best I can muster up after 5 scotches and a big bowl of angel hair pasta.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:15:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why does the unicycle schtick seem so familiar?
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2005-12-08 20:02:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed at the post as well as this:
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:38:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
no no no son, you entertain me, not the other way around.
I'll think of something soon
Submitted by Serretus (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:46:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Back in my junior-high days, the teachers used to use golf carts to get around (lazy bastards. the school was small enough to walk from one end to another in 3 minutes.) On the day before graduation, my friends and I though it would be a good idea to take a golf cart and see how long we could keep away from the teachers. Well, after spending a majority of lunch looking for a cart, we finally ound one with the keys in it, parked right next to an open door. We got in, and the flip of a coin, I drove. At this point, I learned 2 very vital things in my life:
1) I am an idiot.
2) Golf cars can, I repeat, CAN go in reverse.
As soon as i started it up, i slammed on the pedal, slamming directly on the door behind us. The door brake came out, and it slammed into some kid coming out of the building. After seeing this happen, a mental chuckle was then replaced by unmitigated terror. We didnt wait to see if he was okay. We ran like hell, and luckily, we weren't caught.
Just for reference, the kid turned out to be fine. Just a nice linear bruise right down his face. Me and my friends got one hell of a laugh seeing him up on stage.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:41:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I hate it when people take their mothers seriously when she tells them they are funny. She's your mother she cant tell you that you suck, but we can.
You suck!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-08 19:38:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no no no son, you entertain me, not the other way around.