....With The Heart Of A Horny Teenage Girl (5900 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.45 on 72 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sideburns (View user info) at 2005-12-09 20:59:36 EST
This is not a thought out post. I'm literally typing as the thoughts come to mind. This isn't one of those "formulaic" comedy posts that I'd usually type up. I use the word comedy very loosely in terms of my posts. I'm well aware that I've lost whatever Uber appeal I had the past two years I've been on Ubersite. The same skill that got me to number 7 on the MVA and my posts featured on b@w is gone. I'll leave this site when I don't have anything to say anymore. I won't leave until I'm pretty much run out of town-- and with the response (and lack thereof) on my recent posts, it won't be long before I fade into Uber history along with the thousands of others of yester-year.
I'm the Bret Favre of Ubersite.
Of course you've got Schlongy, who is the Terrell Owens of the site. He runs his mouth to almost anyone, speaks his mind, is extremely outspoken-- but gets the job done on the field. I'm the old Favre, with still enough strength to run a play, but too tired and strung-out to pull off a victory. So if you're sick of Sideburns, don't worry. His time on Uber is coming to an end. But not yet.
Here we go with my rant. I apologize in advance. Dispense your -2 as you wish. I'm going to expect the plethora of -2s from the usual crop of anti-me users.
I believe it was Spike Goddess (Most of you newbs won't remember her) who said that if your life is perfect, there is nowhere to go but down. But, the opposite is also true. Right now, I'm somewhere in the middle, so I control my destiny.
Or so I thought.
2 years ago, I tried to join the Air Force. You can read about the adventures of the physical here. http://www.ubersite.com/m/22421
You can also read about the aftermath of my attempt to join here http://www.ubersite.com/m/23623
I recommend you read both. If you're too lazy, well let me explain the situation briefly. Before I signed up for the A.F., I had a small case of pericarditis a few months earlier. Pericarditis is when fluid gets into the pericardium, the sack around your heart. In my case, it was a bacterial infection caused by an absessed tooth. The doctor gave me anti-inflammatory medicine and I was fine in three days. I remember his words like they were etched in stone.
"A relapse of pericarditis or any symptoms are HIGHLY UNLIKELY. This was a temporary fluke case caused by an indirect infection."
He even told me that I had the heart of a horny teenaged girl. Whatever the hell that means.
What's that mean? I'm fine. I went back to being a healthy, normal (at the time) 19 year old kid. I'm 21 now, almost 22 in three months. I'm still fine. I haven't had any symptoms. Hell, I haven't even been to the doctor since early 2003.
So, I joined the Air Force and made the mistake of telling them that I was indeed diagnosed with pericarditis, but it had been cleared up and I am, and will be perfectly healthy. I was sent down to MEPS processing, took the physical, and passed.
Then, they reviewed the initial recruiter interview. Didn't ask for medical records, didn't ask for doctor's approval. They medically disqualified me-- only because when it relates to the heart, the Air Force wants to take no chances.
I was pissed. I had lost my car, my house, my girlfriend of two years, and sold almost everything else I owned to start a new life in the military-- and these bastards DQ'd me without asking for medical records. Not just disqualifying me, PERMANANTLY DISQUALIFYING ME!
Now, exactly two years after I tried to join the Air Force, I'm going to try again. This time, I'm going in prepared. I talked to a recruiter today, who stated that since I was permanantly disqualified from MEPS, it was worth a shot. Odds are, when I'm sent back down for the processing, ASVAB test, and the physical, I'm going to be denied again. Then from there, we have to send another waiver to the surgeon general of the Air Force.
Last time, I was disqualified by the bastard.
This time, I'm going to rape him in his skull if he disqualifies me.
I have the exact medical record from that hospital visit from April 14, 2003 when I checked into the E.R. with breathing difficulties. This is an exact quote from the record:
"FINAL RECOMMENDATIONS:
NO CARDIOMELAGY, NO PULMONARY INFILTRATE, NO EVIDENCE OF PERICARDIAL OR PLEURAL EFFUSIONS.
IMPRESSION: PERICARDITIS
DISCUSSION AND RECOMMENDATIONS:
THE PATIENT HAS A CLINICAL SYNDROME CONSISTENT WITH PERICARDITIS WITH PLEURITIC DISCOMFORT, AN EKG WITH DIFFUSE MILD ST SEGMENT ELEVATION, AND A PERICARDIAL RUB ON EXAM. HIS SYMPTOMS ACTUALLY APPEAR TO BE QUITE MILD. HIS CHEST X-RAY SHOWS NO CARDIOMEGALY AND THERE WOULD APPEAR TO BE A LOW LIKELIHOOD OF ANY SIGNIFICANT PERICARDIAL EFFUSION.
THE PATIENT WILL BE TREATED WITH ANTI-INFLAMMATORY THERAPY WITH INDOCIN 25 TO 50 MG FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS. THIS WAS REVIEWED WITH THE PATIENT AND HIS MOTHER. HE WILL CALL MY OFFICE IN ONE WEEK IF HE HAS HAD NO CLINICAL IMPROVEMENT WITH INDOCIN."
My symptoms cured in 3 days.
Now, I'm going into this fight with my fists up. I have the complete medical transcript to send just in case I'm disqualified at MEPS(which will definitely happen). I have my dad, who's months away from retiring from the Air Force, to pull some limited strings. If I can save up the money, I'll have a complete, up to date physical stating that there's nothing wrong with me. I have a doctor writing a complete medical definition of my version of pericarditis, emphasizing that it will not affect me for the rest of my life.
The journey begins.
But that's not all. I told my girlfriend, whom I love dearly, about my plans to join the Air Force again, and she's on board with me. Ready for more news?
We're engaged. I'm getting married to the girl-- Courtney.
She will become Mrs. Sideburns. Girls around the world will all cry. True story.
The wedding date is set for March 25 of 2006. I plan (if everything goes right) to marry her in March and ship off for boot camp (BMT) in April or May.
Of course, this is Sideburns we're talking about. Knowing my luck, I'll take the physical only to find out I have a tumor, have to have one of my testicles removed, have somehow been diagnosed with AIDS, Herpes, dandruff, and the pericarditis has come back- allowing me only 6 months to live.
Things are going to get really interesting within the coming months. I'm hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. If the Air Force cuts out all outlets of my entrance, I'll just join the Marines-- they'll take anybody.
Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend.
-Sideburns
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-14 17:41:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yo- This is T.O. here.
You still getting married next week?
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-02-07 02:09:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck with eveyrthing, Burnsy.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-26 07:52:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For fucks sake Sideburns! Did you never see The Deer Hunter? DO you have any idea what is going to happen to you?
You're going to get shot in the kidneys, lose the use of your legs and be on diyalisis for the rest of your life. Your pretty young wife will get stressed out caring for you, say loads of stuff like 'this isn't the life I wanted' and then leave you for some bloke who beats her to the floor and spunks on her dress. At least he can get his own damn beer out of the fridge though, at least he's still healthy enough to fuck without a little hand pump.
That's it then apart from barbituate addiction, potential book deal which inevitably never pans out and death but not until after you've caused misery and burden to the people who care about you. You selfish swine.
Submitted by Kidmc (user info) at 2006-01-26 07:33:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Donmt bother hu -2
Submitted by Khoublaikhan (user info) at 2005-12-22 00:35:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
you're too young to get married
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-12 12:58:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-10 16:26:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-10 11:57:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, ETS was lit last night.
Look, it's got nothing to do with following the footsteps of my father. It has everything to do with looking for other means of education, experience, training, and just something new. If I sign up for six years of service, I won't have any rent payments which means I can save up for a house when I do get out. I'll also have no electric bill, no water bill, free education, dependendent allowance, family separation allowance, etc.
Not too bad for being bossed around for six years.
I know what I'm getting myself into. It has nothing to do with anything else.
---------------------------
If you were in poverty, I'd almost excuse you. But given the reasons you just gave, I have lost respect for you.
----------------
well that's kinda why people do the chair force. all the military benefits without the actual military work. cept the marines fuck all your girls. and he will have those bills eventually, he'll get tired of the barracks, hit e4 and sign up for bah, and then maybe it'll cover the rent and bills combined. also the chances he'll actually get family separation for any reason in the airforce is pretty slim, they're not deployed per se, so being a geo bachelor might be all he'd get. and he also won't necessarily get a free education either. and you don't get a dependent allowance. you get a $150ish hike in bah and it's not per dependent it's just for getting married that one time. coast guard woulda been better bonuses, even for lower asvab scores, with the same benefits.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-12 12:49:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
At least you have heart.
And we all loved Brett Favre. Everyone.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-12-12 12:47:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Always have been and always will be a fan of your stuff. Mr. Burns. Best of luck to you.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-12 12:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good luck, and try not to get raped by the Muslims, or by the military.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-12-12 12:17:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2005-12-11 23:27:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i still love you, even if you are getting married to a *gasp* girl
Submitted by Dante_Alighieri (user info) at 2005-12-10 18:04:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Nobody fucks with Sideburns.
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-12-10 16:41:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats brett.
and your still in my top 3 writers list(in terms of comedy)
SO GET WRITING
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-10 16:26:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-10 11:57:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, ETS was lit last night.
Look, it's got nothing to do with following the footsteps of my father. It has everything to do with looking for other means of education, experience, training, and just something new. If I sign up for six years of service, I won't have any rent payments which means I can save up for a house when I do get out. I'll also have no electric bill, no water bill, free education, dependendent allowance, family separation allowance, etc.
Not too bad for being bossed around for six years.
I know what I'm getting myself into. It has nothing to do with anything else.
---------------------------
If you were in poverty, I'd almost excuse you. But given the reasons you just gave, I have lost respect for you.
Submitted by Amy (user info) at 2005-12-10 13:28:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what ever happened to spikegoddess?
oh and good luck
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-10 12:17:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Depending entirely on your MOS, you may not be sent to a war zone.
The military can provide many good things, as you seem to understand.
All I am saying is consider your options if you are turned down.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-10 11:57:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, ETS was lit last night.
Look, it's got nothing to do with following the footsteps of my father. It has everything to do with looking for other means of education, experience, training, and just something new. If I sign up for six years of service, I won't have any rent payments which means I can save up for a house when I do get out. I'll also have no electric bill, no water bill, free education, dependendent allowance, family separation allowance, etc.
Not too bad for being bossed around for six years.
I know what I'm getting myself into. It has nothing to do with anything else.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-10 11:50:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sideburns, your posts and reviews indicate you are a damned
intelligent young man. I say young because all of my kids
are older than you and my oldest grandson is almost 18.
Indocin is great stuff. It's what I take for a gout attack.
If you aren't accepted by any branch of the military, I'm quite
certain you can get into an excellent college and do well at
whatever you attempt. Good luck.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-12-10 10:10:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Da' Burns.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-12-10 08:38:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-10 05:33:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I finally broke into the prison,
I found my place in the chain.
Even damnation is poisoned with rainbows,
all the brave young men
they're waiting now to see a signal
which some killer will be lighting for pay.
Into this furnace I ask you now to venture,
you whom I cannot betray.
I fought in the old revolution
on the side of the ghost and the King.
Of course I was very young
and I thought that we were winning;
I can't pretend I still feel very much like singing
as they carry the bodies away.
Into this furnace I ask you now to venture,
you whom I cannot betray.
Lately you've started to stutter
as though you had nothing to say.
To all of my architects let me be traitor.
Now let me say I myself gave the order
to sleep and to search and to destroy.
Into this furnace I ask you now to venture,
you whom I cannot betray.
Yes, you who are broken by power,
you who are absent all day,
you who are kings for the sake of your children's story,
the hand of your beggar is burdened down with money,
the hand of your lover is clay.
Into this furnace I ask you now to venture,
you whom I cannot betray.
-Leonard Cohen "The Old Revolution"
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-10 05:24:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why the hell can't this keyboard reproduce a fucking 'your' correctly?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-10 05:22:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-10 05:22:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I have my dad, who's months away from retiring from the Air Force..."
-------------
I was about to ask what the fuck a smart feller like you was doing considering selling his fucking soul to the goddamned military when this line came up and pretty much summed it all up for me.
Listen, man, I don't know you from Adam really. Hell, for all I know, you name IS Adam (as it turned out to be the last time I said that to a guy), but you really need to sit back, take a deep breath, and consider you options for a minute.
First off, I have to ask: how comfortable are you committing yourself to an institution that's currently mired in the Vietnam of our time? Second of all, WHAT THE FUCKIN FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!?!?!?
You've got to be the dumbest sunofabitch I've ever fucking heard of. I've lost ALL respect for you. If you join the fucking military and commit yourself to the shit they'd send you to do right now, I cannot understand how you'd consciously do that.
And why??? To keep up some family tradition? I know the term 'cry emo tears' is over-used, but dammit, that's pretty much what I'm doing right now.
I thought you were one of the artists. Not some order-taking patsy.
OK, before you go, do me this one small favor...from one fellow uberer to another...get a bottle of some good whiskey, put on Bob Dylan's album "The Times They Are A-Changin'", sit back and consider where you want your life to go for one night...just one night...THEN make your decision.
I'm sorry you want to be like your dad. Maybe I say that as one who never wanted to be anything like his dad, but at least give this a little more thought. If nothing else, fulfill my wish with the whiskey and Bob.
You are a born writer. What the fuck are you,,,..
.....
you know what....fuck it.
Do what you want, dude.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-10 05:15:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Luck Sideburns
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-10 05:05:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-10 04:59:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-10 04:48:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
I had lost my car, my house, my girlfriend of two years, and sold almost everything else I owned to start a new life in the military--
-----------
I don't think this part really needs comment from me at this point in my uber career. I think everyone can pretty much surmise what's in my mind at this moment.
=============================
that ETS is working on a new country ballad just for 'burns?
-------------------------------
How'd you guess, Rad? But wait, I'm not done reading... It takes a while with walleye vision.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-12-10 05:04:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The military sucks BURNSIE DON'T DO IT!!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-10 04:59:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-10 04:48:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
I had lost my car, my house, my girlfriend of two years, and sold almost everything else I owned to start a new life in the military--
-----------
I don't think this part really needs comment from me at this point in my uber career. I think everyone can pretty much surmise what's in my mind at this moment.
=============================
that ETS is working on a new country ballad just for 'burns?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-10 04:55:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh...
Fuckin' ASVAB test.
I remember that shit.
Took it in high school.
I was in the 99th percentile on everything. I had recruiters calling me for months from every branch of the military (including the Air Force) telling me I could have any job I wanted or whatever. I told them where to fucking shove it. When they asked me why, I told them because I didn't believe in them.
Ironic, huh?
I love irony.
There's so much of it about these days...
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-10 04:48:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had lost my car, my house, my girlfriend of two years, and sold almost everything else I owned to start a new life in the military--
-----------
I don't think this part really needs comment from me at this point in my uber career. I think everyone can pretty much surmise what's in my mind at this moment.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-12-10 04:41:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
Keep us posted.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-10 04:11:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"The same skill that got me to number 7 on the MVA and my posts featured on b@w is gone. I'll leave this site when I don't have anything to say anymore."
----------------
Listen.... I've always thought of creativity as not so much something that we possess luke an attribute or a gene or some shit... It's more like a rare bird that comes to bless us with its presence on occasion. It's to be enjoyed while it's here and not lamented in it's flight.
We are not our works. We are something undefinable and eternal. Take comfort in that.
And you'll NEVER have 'nothing' to say. Besides the fact that it's impossible to say 'nothing', being 'you' in the first place requires you have something to say. If you didn't, you wouldn't be 'you' anymore, would you?
Just shut the fuck up, asshole, and post you thoughts. We'd like to hear them.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-10 04:05:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"This is not a thought out post. I'm literally typing as the thoughts come to mind. This isn't one of those "formulaic" comedy posts that I'd usually type up."
-----------
NOW you've got my +2 already. I'll continue reading...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-10 02:08:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good luck. i don't know why they were so worried anyway, air force has the easiest boot camp so it wouldn't be that damn hard on your heart.
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2005-12-10 02:03:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck, bud. I've been in the Chair...er.. Air Force for about 3 1/2 years now. I spent about 14 months of it as enlisted, and believe me, its fucking cake. But seeing as how your pops is in... I'm sure I don't need to tell you this.
Hope all works out for you.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2005-12-10 02:00:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think having the heart of a horny teenaged girl means that you like to take it like a bitch, but on the outside, you have to act tough and manly. Nah I'm just kidding, one of my friends went into the AF MP and he's never been happier, best of luck to you.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-10 01:36:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1. don't do it. Marriage is not for dudes.
2. your writing hasnt changed. the time you spend on this website has, and that is why you get the reaction you do on your stories now.
3. don't do it.
4. sideburns.info was a good idea, the layout just sucked.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-12-10 00:46:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've shown up for quite a bit, lately.
Shiza, even 3 or 4 posts...
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-12-10 00:38:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
before March, you must read everything on this website: http://www.nomarriage.com
Don't do it.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-12-10 00:09:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
best of luck in your future endeavors.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-12-10 00:03:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
JAY PEG SHOWED UP FOR TEH HORNI GIRL
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-12-09 23:52:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor Courtney (or whatever, I'm too tired to look back)
She has no real idea about you and your Emo ways, doesn she?
I kid.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-12-09 23:29:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I mean "congratulations" but seriously if I hear "Sorry, the customer you have dialed is unavailable at this time; please try your call again later" I'm going to light something wooden on fire.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-12-09 23:26:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I skimmed this, and I'm kind of drunk, but are you going to be away from her for a long time? Do you know what base you'll be at, and is she coming with you? I just wanted to say that I don't think it's fair to marry this girl and then leave for a couple years. It fucking sucks, and it's hard, and all that shit.
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2005-12-09 23:18:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good luck Sideburns. From your history, looks like you need it.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2005-12-09 22:55:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus, I must be ancient then.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-09 22:49:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck with all that
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-12-09 22:09:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a bit hard on yourself. I can't remember a post of yours i've disliked, even if some of them haven't exactly been classics. Good luck with the Air Force, medical beaurocracy sounds surreal.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:45:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're hired.
You're now my personal image consultant.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sideburns ----> Pubeburns. It's like a rebirth.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:43:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Either I'm going to have sideburns, or I'm not.
Elvis-like or none at all.
Jeez, I'll be the man with no identity.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:42:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
GENIUS, ECHO!
Thanks for the compliment.
SIDEBURNS= OUT
PUBEBURNS= IN
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:41:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And you can have sideburns, if that's your thing.
Trimmed close and no longer than the bottom of the earlobe or something like that.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:40:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really like your writing and I'll miss it if you go, but good luck with everything.
And I'm serious about the pubes.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:39:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When you get in, stop trimming your pubes. That'll show them.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:38:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I need to look into the Army, as a backdrop.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:35:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And my spelling rocks, what?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:35:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm high, so my sentances are disjointed, deal.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:34:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Army is an option, one of things I liked best was having the ability to actually choose the job you wanted.
Not the post mind you.
As far as time with the woman, well it'll depend on your Unit I suppose, things change pretty quick so if you are with a deployable unit you will spend time away. But you'll probably changes Units every couple of years.
If you dad can pull strings a little he could probably land you something garrison coming out of AIT. I saw it happen its no secret or atrocity.
If you've scored well on the ASVAB you should have no problem selecting the job you are looking for.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:27:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:20:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
(on behalf of girls everywhere) *SOB*
congrats on getting a girl who'll settle for you.
too bad you've got a broken heart.
enjoy oblivion.
------------
Had a broken heart, dear. Had. Everyone goes through at least one in their life. It was the worst pain I had ever felt in my entire life, but I'm glad I went through it.
What doesn't kill you.....
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:25:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:18:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I'm not positive BUT another branch of the service may be a little less selective if things don't work out and you are interested.
Just a thought.
Good luck to you, if you are smart and pay attention the military can teach you many good things.
-------
Another branch is definitely an option. I haven't really done much research on the other branches, seeing as how I'm an Air Force brat. I grew up in the Air Force so I know their standards and practices.
I want to spend as much time with my spouse as possible. I know the military isn't the career choice to make if you want to spend alot of time with your spouse, but the Air Force is the branch least likely to keep the two of you separated for a large amount of time. Then again, it's a situational basis.
With the marines, my ass is gone all the time, with the large chance of going overseas to fight a war that nobody cares about anymore. In the Navy, I'm on a ship-- can't have my wife with me there. How about Army?
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:22:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hidden was Air Force, actually. He got out so he could stay under the radar with his pedophilic, 15 year old girl chasing ways.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:20:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(on behalf of girls everywhere) *SOB*
congrats on getting a girl who'll settle for you.
too bad you've got a broken heart.
enjoy oblivion.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:18:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I'm not positive BUT another branch of the service may be a little less selective if things don't work out and you are interested.
Just a thought.
Good luck to you, if you are smart and pay attention the military can teach you many good things.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:18:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:15:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Right now, my job involves computer programming of ATM computers, so I'd like to get into the information technology field. If that's not an option, flying would be one of the other top fields on my list.
-----
Networking or radio/communications. that's your field.
Wasn't hidden101 Air Force? Wave hello for us.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:17:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Echoboxing: How would you recommend I handle pressure from the man?
Hadtobedone: I remember you. I don't remember many names. If I remember you, you're old.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
12697 is older.
I don't know whether to feel honored or horrified.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:15:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Right now, my job involves computer programming of ATM computers, so I'd like to get into the information technology field. If that's not an option, flying would be one of the other top fields on my list.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:14:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't take any shit from the man.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:11:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is your intention to fly?
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:08:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have to work my ass off to get in, it's not going to be easy.
And yes, I'm unfortunately aware that my sideburns, along with my mane, will be gone forever-- at least for the next 20 years of service.
Thanks for reviewing. Glad to see some older users still here, Hadtobedone
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-12-09 21:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you get in, the sideburns will be gone. forever.
You'll be some random squiggle. The writer who used to be Sideburns.