Recipe for Prison Pruno (543 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.33 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jarvis Jay Masters http://www.freejarvis.org (View user info) at 2005-12-10 05:33:34 EST
Take ten peeled oranges,
Jarvis Masters, it is the judgment and sentence of this court,
one 8 oz. bowl of fruit cocktail,
that the charged information was true,
squeeze the fruit into a small plastic bag,
and the jury having previously, on said date,
and put the juice along with the mash inside,
found that the penalty shall be death,
add 16 oz. of water and seal the bag tightly.
and this Court having, on August 20, 1991,
Place the bag into your sink,
denied your motion for a new trial,
and heat it with hot running water for 15 minutes.
it is the order of this Court that you suffer death,
wrap towels around the bag to keep it warm for fermentation.
said penalty to be inflicted within the walls of San Quentin,
Stash the bag in your cell undisturbed for 48 hours.
at which place you shall be put to death,
When the time has elapsed,
in the manner prescribed by law,
add 40 to 60 cubes of white sugar,
the date later to be fixed by the Court in warrant of execution.
six teaspoons of ketchup,
You are remanded to the custody of the warden of San Quentin,
then heat again for 30 minutes,
to be held by him pending final
secure the bag as done before,
determination of your appeal.
then stash the bag undisturbed again for 72 hours.
It is so ordered.
Reheat daily for 15 minutes.
In witness whereof,
After 72 hours,
I have hereon set my hand as Judge of this Superior Court,
with a spoon, skim off the mash,
and I have caused the seal of this Court to be affixed thereto.
pour the remaining portion into two 18 oz. cups.
May God have mercy on your soul,
Guzzle down quickly!
Mr. Jarvis Masters.
Gulp Gulp Gulp!
User Reviews
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-12-10 06:09:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
and another -2 for being so fucking stupid by not realizing that even the people involved
in guarding and excecuting you are still trying to treat you with some compassion like
a normal human being.....which you don't even qualify as...you piece of shit
your last meal should be a privilege, let alone the other 'gifts' that could get good people
in trouble if they get caught providing them to your sorry ass
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-10 06:03:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I knew Rad wouldn't approve of this
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-12-10 05:59:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
they give them, or used to, a couple of 10mg valiums.
in my opinion this is, or was, more than any condemned man deserved.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-10 05:34:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
masters deserves to rot in hell.
this is an example of his "literary work" which is supposed to show how he is rehabilitated.