Leaving it all behind. (1017 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.76 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bluto (View user info) at 2005-12-11 04:21:47 EST
Exiting his car and walking briskly through the crowd of people, her words stew in his mind. Ignorant to his part in their existence, mumbling obscenities under his breath, he finds a clearing and quickly lights another cigarette. This isn't his fault.
Now breathing heavily, memories of the past year have flooded his head. Dizziness overwhelms him as the rollercoaster of emotions sweep over him. Slowly descending to a seated position, his mind is filled with recollections of countless nights spent in Mackey Park, the warmth from their bodies radiating from underneath the soft, wool blanket. Those nights make him wish he could replay everything from the beginning. For an instant, he's back, again enjoying the comfort of her loving embrace, and for that split-second, inner peace becomes him.
He thought of the playful arguments. Letting her win was always his way of showing he cared. The smug grin on her face was enough to warm his heart. Now there isn't anything he could do to bring those times back, to see her gentle, caring smile again. He'd give it all up to bring those days back, but he can't.
Even if he could, he'd still end up right where he is now, stuck with a decision that he can't bring himself to make. Part of him wishes he could open his mind and forgive her for the transgressions of her past, but he simply can't do it. It isn't his fault.
Extinguishing his cigarette, he stands and walks slowly back to his car. No material possessions have the same value to him as the last year of his life. He's experienced the greatest times of his life, and now, with the uttering of a few painful words, he is experiencing the worst.
This wasn't part of the plan. How can one plan for something like this? Why would anyone want to?
Taking his place back in the driver's seat of his car, he turns the key and makes his way back onto the freeway. If he ever could find a solution to this bedlam, this would be the place. Setting cruise control, his mind slowly wanders.
"What am I supposed to do now?"
Remembering her tears as he stormed out, he knows that no matter what he decides, his life will never be the same. Meticulously weaving in and out of traffic, he realizes how easy it would be to just go. Don't turn back. Close the book on this chapter of his life, move away, and start from scratch. Seriously entertaining the thought, he pulls the car over. Taking a quick inventory of his possessions, he becomes conscious of just how easy it would be.
She was his only link to this world. He had no family to worry about, and friends could be replaced. It certainly isn't his first option, but his mind isn't yet capable of conjuring another solution.
He can't do it. He's spent the last fourteen months trying his damnedest to make everything perfect. It sure as hell won't be perfect again, but still, she deserves more than that. Fuck, even he deserves more than that. Even if his response is negative, it's better than taking the cowardly way out. Slowly shifting back into drive, he turns the car around and heads back for their apartment. The same apartment where only hours ago, he turned his back with no intention of ever returning.
He couldn't just turn his back on her. She may have fucked up in her past, but who hasn't? How hypocritical! Everyone has skeletons in their respective closets. Hell, there are aspects of his life that even he was embarrassed to admit to. If he can't forgive someone for the transgressions of their past, he would never be able to really trust anyone.
Slowly, the labyrinth of ideas in his head begins to work itself out. His fiery rage slowly begins to subside, and realizing his ignorance, he goes about trying to work his way out of this one. Carefully planning, he knows that only with hard work and determination is there any chance of reconciliation. Through the smoke of yet another cigarette, he imagines the words escaping his mouth. He imagines her reaction. Again, he imagines tears. This time, however, instead of tears of sadness and fear, he imagines tears of relief.
Arriving at the apartment, he remains in the car, allowing everything one more chance to sink in. Fighting the urge to flee, he opens the car door, walks slowly to the door of his apartment, stamps out his cigarette, breathes deeply, and enters his home.
Looking around, he immediately notices that she is among the list of missing items. As he moves slowly from one room to the next, his hopes of reconciliation diminish. The apartment, barring a few exceptions, is now empty. In place of everything that's missing, taped to the bathroom wall is a hand-written note.
"I can't change my past. I'm sorry."
Seeing her signature at the bottom, he walked out of the apartment, lit a cigarette, and without turning his back, got into his car and drove off...
User Reviews
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2006-01-02 06:35:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I love how Wazza even picks a random post to review.
Love you too, wazza.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2006-01-02 06:05:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff!!!
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2006-01-02 06:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good work man ,you have put a lot of thought into this, lots more than i do with my one liners, ha ha ha ha .. no really i liked it good work. love you mate Wazza.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2005-12-14 22:09:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For http://www.ubersite.com/m/80939
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-12 19:38:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-12-12 08:15:38 (#)
Ranking: 1
finish it please.
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While I could continue and tell what happened between the two, as I wrote below, I enjoy leaving the reader in mystery. Not to mention, with the title of the story "Leaving it all behind," I hoped that the reader would infer that the male character did just that: left everything behind. In my eyes, there is no more to tell.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-12-12 13:24:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-12 08:39:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good. Not fantastic, but good. I found working through the actual wording of certain parts to be minorly difficult. But well written and entertaining.
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-12-12 08:15:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
finish it please.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-12 00:11:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lab·y·rinth ( P ) Pronunciation Key (lb-rnth)
n.
Something highly intricate or convoluted in character, composition, or construction: a labyrinth of rules and regulations.
labyrinth of ideas - a highly intricate or convoluted web of ideas.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2005-12-11 22:54:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF is a labyrinth of ideas? Stupid.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-12-11 21:38:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So did she get raped?
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2005-12-11 21:06:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good one Bluto!
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-12-11 16:00:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad at all.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-11 15:12:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-11 10:05:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by yuvalset (user info) at 2005-12-11 08:00:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
was she a prostitute in her past? or did she cheat on him?>
When I started this, I started under the pretense of rage, just having the male character infuriated about something. When I weaved the story, I could never think of anything appopriate, so I left it a mystery.
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I like pieces that don't tell you everything.
The feeling, the emotion conveyed is significant enough, in itself.
There's no reason to tell everything, when you've shown the neccessary.
I liked this a good deal.
Submitted by alfakyle (user info) at 2005-12-11 13:38:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-12-11 13:27:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-11 10:05:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by yuvalset (user info) at 2005-12-11 08:00:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
was she a prostitute in her past? or did she cheat on him?>
When I started this, I started under the pretense of rage, just having the male character infuriated about something. When I weaved the story, I could never think of anything appopriate, so I left it a mystery.
Submitted by yuvalset (user info) at 2005-12-11 08:00:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
was she a prostitute in her past? or did she cheat on him?>
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-11 04:22:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What, no dick jokes?
What is Bluto doing here?