The Banished Unbound (DWD) (570 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.83 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SilvrWolf (View user info) at 2005-12-11 19:55:02 EST
<I'm still lacking overall direction on this story. Comments and suggestions are always appreciated.>
Chapters in Book 2:
1) http://www.ubersite.com/m/63268
2) http://www.ubersite.com/m/67142
3) http://www.ubersite.com/m/80113
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Chapter 4
Another shriek, different from the first but no less terrifying echoed through the hillside around Ch'atalo. He scrambled to his feet from the shelter of the dead tree, nearly collapsing when his injured knee buckled beneath him. The pain still made him wince but had become more bearable since his seemingly short respite. Steadying himself, he tried to locate the origin of the sounds. A series of ear-piercing whistles and bellowing roars reverberated off the hillside and into the dull sky.
Ch'atalo struggled through the now calf-deep ashfall that lay across the terrain like a dirty gray snow. He clambered up a nearby hill, struggling to find the source of those terrible sounds. The landscape had been transformed from a healthy forest of ferns and peat bogs surrounded by tree-covered rolling hills into a bleak backdrop of endless gray. His eyes had become accustomed to the never-ending dusk but distinct geological features were still difficult to discern. Even if it were clear as the brightest day, though, nothing would he see that still looked alive in this desolate moonscape.
As he reached the peak of the knoll, his heart hammered in his chest; half from the climb up the moderate incline and half from the sight that met his eyes. A huge winged creature, at least five times Ch'atalo's size, turned in the air and dove toward another beast below. Save for the luminous silver feathers along its massive wings and cresting its beaked head, the beast was covered in shimmering bronze fur along its feline four-legged body. An enormously long tail terminated by a wickedly hooked talon trailed gracefully behind the animal as it plunged toward its prey. It pulled its front legs close to its body and readied two powerful-looking rear legs tipped with multiple opaque claws for the strike.
A serpentine animal on the ground coiled into a defensive pose as the winged creature closed in upon it. At least twice the length and half the girth of the flyer, its black body rippled as muscles tensed to strike. Behind the creature's head and down its back to where the coiled body overlapped, a single row of two-foot long translucent spikes raised vertically to sky. Another ear-shattering scream punished Ch'atalo's ears as it gaped its enormous mouth. Its upper jaw was lined with rows of serrated triangular white teeth and the lower jaw split into two sections and fanned outward, lined with ferocious golden fangs. Eight feet down the belly from the fierce raised head, a gash oozing translucent fluid ran diagonally across and up the side of the animal beyond Ch'atalo's sight.
As the flyer closed the distance to less than twenty feet, the serpent released the coiled tension of its body and struck with lightning quickness. The jaws found their mark at the base of the flying monster's wing and closed with a crack like thunder. The flyer roared and crashed to the ground at the side of the serpent, struggling instantly to regain its feet. The great serpentine beast tried to twist its prey onto those menacing spinal thorns as the flying creature dug its powerful clawed feet into the ashen earth.
Only inches from certain impalement on those deadly spines, the flyer's tail rose into the air and struck downward into the head of the serpent. The fierce talon at the end the tail had split the skull clean through, instantly ending the great battle and missing the flyer's own wing by mere inches. The serpent's body uncoiled and began convulsing and writhing as the frightening jaws released their deadly grip. Without removing its tail, the flyer twisted the serpent underneath it and severed the cranium of the defeated behemoth with its powerful curved beak. It raised the head high into the air and shrieked wickedly in celebration of its victory.
Never before had Ch'atalo seen such creatures but they rang familiar with him for some reason. Staring unflinching at the odd beauty of the flyer, he suddenly remembered the stories from his adolescence. Pao'al used to hold his attention for hours talking about the great beasts that ruled the land before the time of the First Era. He told stories of how the animals were not gone, but had been banished by the Ancient Ones to the Fire Mountain.
Ch'atalo wouldn't have time to recall them in detail as another roar vibrated in his chest and echoed through the valley below him. The flyer was looking directly at him. It folded the huge wings along its body, the injured one lying slightly askew and dragging the ground. With another bellowing roar, it began to gallop up the hillside toward Ch'atalo with breathtaking speed. The adrenaline coursed through his veins and inclined him to run but the voice of Pao'al spoke in his mind, "You will not be harmed by them on your journey."
Ch'atalo stood his ground as the beast closed the distance between them. He didn't even raise his arms in defense as the ground began shaking with the flyer's approach. At ten feet away, the creature slid to a sudden stop in the ash. The cloud of kicked up cinders enveloped him but he dared not even flinch. He could feel the hot, acrid breath of the flyer coming down on his face as the cloud of ash cleared from his sight. The beast towered above him and glared with glittering pale blue eyes as if ready to bring Ch'atalo to the same fate as the serpent. A whistle that deafened him came as the animal opened its beak and he fell to his knees, covering his ears. The taloned tail raised high above him above and tensed for a strike. He closed his eyes for the first time since his interrupted sleep against the tree. That meager respite seemed so far away now.
Still temporarily deaf, he didn't even hear the single word escape his lips.
Ch'atalo screamed, "NO," and waited for the flyer's fatal blow.
User Reviews
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 20:48:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-12-12 14:29:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok I've finally caught up with your series. This was really good. I'm intrigued to see where this is going to go.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-12 11:26:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad, but I thought it might have been better to get the storyline moving a little further than it did in this one. It seemed like half of the events here could have been cut down and some more of the story could have been squeezed in. But we'll see where it goes.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-11 23:48:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-11 21:38:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great!!
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-12-11 21:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Um.