Tears of the Phoenix. (1298 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bigmike (View user info) at 2005-12-11 23:55:27 EST
Quietly it moves towards me. It never speaks or makes a sound at all. I watch, helplessly as the shadow creeps ever closer, pulling myself back gently just a bit for every inch or two it takes. I have always asked myself what it is I am running from. I have always had the feeling of dread gnawing at my consciousness, willing me to fail when success is all that I ever wanted. It comes silently, slowly, stealthily. It feeds on my sanity, leaving me a bit more confused and desperate with the icy touch of it's filthy tendrils.
All I want is a little sleep. Just a touch of rest in an otherwise exhausting existence. I lie here in my bed, watching the shadows swirl on the ceiling. I am clutching to the remnants of a life, while not well lived, is at least marginally well received. The stress of the day pounds me into the mattress with the weight of a thousand bad dreams. They stalk me in the shadows, ready to pounce at the slightest hint of a snore; the first emergence of eye movement under a closed lid signals that I am ready for the onslaught. My mind is open, an unlocked asylum door waiting for the inmates to arrive. They promptly do, and I am an unwilling yet captive receptor to thier devices.
I toss and turn, my body reacting to thier advances. Some laughter here, a bit of snorting there. An ounce of ridicule accented by a splash of evil. Shaken not stirred, if you please. My ride has just begun and already the cold sweat of my terror is running thick as a river. My sheets the sponge of regret, my mattress playing the role of night terrors' whore, reaching up and absorbing horrors ejaculation. Hours go by in a span of seconds, minutes are a flash in time. My nocturnal reality a montage of screams and eyeballs and splatter and dread. Impending doom is everywhere and my breath is stifled by the surrounding darkness.
I fight back.
I am better than they are. I am a better man than my fears are evil. I am a better person than my nightmares are horrible. I transform myself into a shining altar of what hope and strength and beauty could only want to be if they were tangible. I rise up to the heavens and fate follows. I rise up even higher and darkness does not fall. I shoot up, trying to outrun my nemesis, fleeing darkness, outwitting deaths minions, watching as the distance grows between me and my dying family, melting relationships, increasing burdens. The distance is not great enough as I fly away to anywhere, because anywhere seems safer than where I was moments ago.
The burden follows. The stress doesn't give up. The horrors are real, tangible, and gaining. I begin to cry.
Each tear falls in slow motion, full of the frustration of a man well spent. My tears fall as silently as the darkness approaches. They fall without will, they fall without hate, they fall without malice. They just fall. They fall as my hope has fallen. As I watch them fall, I think to myself that the end is near and that I will not soon wake, if at all. I am afraid the darkness has won and the tears come with force.
As the first of the tears fall into the darkness, I can see that something is happening. Something strange and exciting. Something misty and revealing. The darkness is failing as if the weight of the tears is too much. Each tear hits with the force of a thousand tears and gaping holes are opening up in the horror. The maniacal laughter has turned to shrieks, the eyes have closed and the terror has started to abate. My shoulders, once slumped, now feel more straight. My back no longer is hurting with the burden of a thousand evils. The tears are tearing a hole in the filth of my nocturnal abbatoir. I feel free and light as a feather, crying as I never have cried before.
Then, as if by magic, it all stops and I rest comfortably and completely. I wake up to sunshine barraging my face through an open window. I hear birdsong and quickly remove myself from the soaked sheets that my whore of a mattress has birthed. Running to the window, I look out upon the courtyard, trees full of singing birds happily going about thier morning business. Among them, a rather large bird with a full hooked beak and amazing large red feathers. As I stand there wondering about this bird, he suddenly looks at me. His gaze cuts through me as if I were an apparition and he were my master. I watch as he begins to cry. At that exact moment he unravels his wings and with one quick snap, his mighty wingspan carries him off into the sky. I can see his tears falling to the ground. I can see every exact spot that each tear falls. I can see a fresh new flower starting to grow at each exact spot. He leaves a trail of tears; a trail of flowers for miles as he goes.
He never looks back.
It is a lesson well learned for me.
User Reviews
Submitted by blujnbbyqn (user info) at 2005-12-17 22:55:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn you Mike. Damn you for making me feel. I oughta know better by now but no... I fall for your deeply introspectve prose every time.
Do it again.
Michelle
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-12-16 07:29:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-12-16 03:24:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
We radiate from being Babylonian God-sucking slaves to being Atlas-shrugging, self-defining, no archetype-bound Ubermenschen by just such catharsis as this. The ridding of our personal daemons.
And the sun just keeps coming up, with or without us. ++++
You have interesting perspective Daniel. I always look forward to your opinion of what I've written.
Where the hell have you been anyway?
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-12-16 03:24:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We radiate from being Babylonian God-sucking slaves to being Atlas-shrugging, self-defining, no archetype-bound Ubermenschen by just such catharsis as this. The ridding of our personal daemons.
And the sun just keeps coming up, with or without us. ++++
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-15 10:57:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good indeed, although 'with the X of a thousand Y' was overused.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-12-13 00:20:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
G'night all. Thanks for the feedback. Glad you enjoyed this.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2005-12-12 22:19:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whax!
Review Disclaimer
**IH8U2MAN is too intoxicated to give any pertinent or meaningful
feedback at this time. He wishes to express his approval of this
post at this time however.
Submitted by Aiya (user info) at 2005-12-12 22:08:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow....what do I say? You are completely awesome.
I have a request now, can you write something that'll make me laugh next? Lol! I wrote 'nest' instead of 'next' and almost didn't catch it. So maybe you don't need to write something. I got a pretty good laugh out of that :)
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-12-12 19:13:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-12 18:17:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Unbeknownst to all on Ubersite, Mike steals his wifes stories and posts them on Ubersite, much like Chevy Chase on 'Funny Farm'.
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Holy shit, I haven't thought about that movie in years.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-12 18:56:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2005-12-12 18:35:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
I am better than they are. I am a better man than my fears are evil.
*********
Man, that's going into my quote notebook after I post this. You're only the 2ed person from U-site to get there. Smokin post.
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You're following 'what the hell man ,if theyre comin at you........." in his quotebook. Be proud.
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2005-12-12 18:35:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am better than they are. I am a better man than my fears are evil.
*********
Man, that's going into my quote notebook after I post this. You're only the 2ed person from U-site to get there. Smokin post.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-12 18:17:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Unbeknownst to all on Ubersite, Mike steals his wifes stories and posts them on Ubersite, much like Chevy Chase on 'Funny Farm'.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-12-12 17:57:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-12-12 17:46:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-12-12 14:22:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear BigMike,
Through your writing, you have regularly created images that have stuck with me since reading/imagining them. This looks to be no exception.
Thanks for writing.
Yours Truly
AshK
You're welcome AshK.
Submitted by AlexorGM (user info) at 2005-12-12 16:05:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-12-12 14:32:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved this piece.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-12-12 14:22:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear BigMike,
Through your writing, you have regularly created images that have stuck with me since reading/imagining them. This looks to be no exception.
Thanks for writing.
Yours Truly
AshK
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-12-12 10:18:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your writing is always top notch.
Here's one more review to help you reach your goal. :P
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-12-12 07:12:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a feeling that this is going to be one of those seven hundred hit/8 review posts.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2005-12-12 04:18:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-12-12 03:25:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I once read an article by an author (very famous) to never use adverbs. This story started with one.
I'm telling both you and that author to fuck off.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-11 23:59:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin' emo kids are ruining this site.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-12-11 23:58:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
packers just won in overtime. hooray for me.