You are Cordially Invited to Suck Corporate Ass (38230 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsLabels: Truth
Rating: 1.86 on 83 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Snark << snarkk.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2005-12-13 14:20:24 EST
You Are Cordially Invited to Suck Corporate Ass.
OH Yes my friends, it's that time of year again.
It's time to show what you're made of, time to prove your worth to the humorless meat popsicle who signs your pay sheets.
It's the time of year where careers are made or broken in the course of one magical, horrible, booze filled night.
Uh Huh, you got it, it's Company Christmas Party Time.
Now it's no secret that nothing makes the ole corporate meat whistle shrivel quite as fast as the thought of dinner with management, except maybe crashing in the Andes with a planeload of the fat fuckers, and very few things in this world will prove you're a survivor than getting through a Corporate Xmas Gathering unscathed. At least, that's what I hear.
I'm no stranger to this event. I've smashed my way through it time and time again. So here's a few pointer's from the school of hard knocks for those of you new to the corporate environment, and perhaps a couple fresh pointers for the hardened veterans out there.
For your convenience, I've broken the basic tools for successfully representing at the Company Party into 5 simple rules:
Rule #1 - Bring a date:
Think of your date as a life preserver, or the angel on your shoulder. Bring a friend who doesn't know anyone else there.
Do not bring a girlfriend or wife. This will save you from having to kill someone who makes more than you do, in a fruitless attempt to defend the honor of someone who's honor you fucked the shit out of long ago.
A friend, will ridicule and laugh his/her ass off at you when you do something even remotely stupid, thereby causing you to put up a kind of protective barrier against yourself that I like to call 'The Shield of Shame'.
The Shield will save your ass people, love it.
Rule #2 - Don't prime for the event:
Sure they pay you with pretzels.
Sure additions tickets cost 18 bucks and something gooey from your insides.
Sure it seems like a good idea to bong a 6 pack of frosty malt beverage 10 minutes before you leave your place but it isn't.
That single drink ticket is a test. It's a way of management to measure its control over you. They need to know that they've sent out enough memo's during the course of the year, to instill enough fear in you, to keep your dumb ass subservient to their sinister plans for your future.
The minute you throw your life savings (73 dollars in change) in front of the drink-ticket-seller-hotel-employee-ladygirl, and demand an almighty assload of booze stamps, you've spelled your own doom.
Go to the party, have a drink, and get the hell out.
Only drink wine or light beer. If you choose beer, drink it from a glass, not from your own nipples.
Rule#3 - Watch what you say:
This rule really comes into effect if you've ignored rules 1 and 2.
Always remember; These people are not your friends.
They are slave owners or your competition. If you wanna be top Kinte keep your stupid mouth shut.
Keep responses to "Yes" "No" and "I have to go pee." And keep conversations to a two sentence minimum.
Below are a few minor verbal blunders I made on Friday, after I took rules 1 and 2, rolled them up, smoked them, and promptly threw them up all over the linoleum in my kitchen.
Said to my boss shortly after the shitty DJ music started:
"Wow! You look great!"
"Why thank you Snark!"
"No, I mean it! Your hair and your dress look amazing."
(Blushing) "Thanks again!"
"I'd do ya."
"Pardon?"
"Uhhh, Ima grab another drink, you want something?"
Said to my boss's boss after he bought me a drink:
"There are two paths to my heart: My dick and my liver. Thank you for picking the right one."
Said to a coworker after he gave me a sip of his tropical-fruity-coco-girly-drink:
"Ahhhh you're drinking one of them 'Holy Shit, I can't believe that just came out of my penis kind of drinks'."
"What?"
"Nice tie, interesting color, is that pink?"
Rule #4 - No matter how incredible her tits look in that low cut dress, never forget that she's a two faced evil little whore, who only smiles because it pulls her fangs out of the bottom of her mouth, and it's not your fault things got so bad between you two that they had to move you to a different department before someone was stapled to death:
Stay the fuck away from her.
If you find yourself sitting at her table, completely enraptured with every word that comes out of her mouth, and wondering how you ever missed the fact that her eyes are almost golden, and the skin on her neck is begging for your lips, it's time to go home.
Don't ask her to dance, and don't take her constant giggles at your stupid drunken attempts at humor as a good thing.
Don't think about how good her skin feels under your hands, and how nice a fit it seems when she leans into you after the hellspawn behind the turntable decides to "Slow it down a little bit."
People are watching you, you goofy Canuck. This is the type of thing that starts office rumors!
Rule #5 - Don't realize that the rumors are started anyways and you might as well go for it.
Herein lies the path to damnation friends.
Whatever you do, stay away from that sweet sweet Pussah.
It is not a good idea to take her into the empty meeting room next door, bend her over, and unleash 2 years of hate-sex on her skinny little ass. It's gonna be way too late when you start pounding away and suddenly realize she's a screamer, and you should stop, but what-the-hell, you're committed to the task-at-hand, might as well finish.
People HEAR that shit man!
People will definitely talk after that, and your boss will call you into her office to ask some very embarrassing questions on Monday, and things will become very awkward in yours and Bitch Cunt Fucking Whore Skank's already strained working relationship, and you'll realize that them eyes ain't quite so golden when you're sober, or sane, or don't have your goddamned stupid-assed head shoved up your chocolate fudge tunnel!!
She'll start walking by your desk more often, and sending you emails, and sitting at your table in the cafeteria, and GOD I WISH SHE'D JUST FUCK OFF!
I hope these simple rules help you as much as they didn't help me.
Please take the time to commit them to memory. Trust me, they'll help.
Don't walk my path Uber.
Stay out of the house of Moron, or like me, the first thing that comes out of your mouth, at the next company sponsored event they send you to will be:
"Hello, my name is Snark, and I have a drinking problem."
Please feel free to add any pointers I might have missed.
User Reviews
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2008-09-15 15:07:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
.
Submitted by bigshot (user info) at 2006-08-09 09:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very well done
Submitted by compEngineer0 (user info) at 2006-08-09 09:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-23 11:56:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2006-03-23 11:49:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-02-06 18:38:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate my job. Everyone is married.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-01-05 19:01:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking gold
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-01-04 14:14:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wish i had half the talent you do.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-01-03 00:49:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The only Christmas parties I go to are for the bar where I'm a regular.
No, I don't work there.
Occasionally I'll cover the door for free beer.
But I've never been paid by them at all.
So I get to get drunk for free, without working the door, one night a year.
And I get to watch all the god damned waitresses (who are fucking AMAZING) damn near make out, and then I get to go home and pump Peter for a while.
Except this year, this year I'm getting laid before, during and after the party.
Mainly because I've made FWB's there this year.
*yay me*
Submitted by Dante_Alighieri (user info) at 2005-12-25 21:02:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny as hell. However, I will never, ever, ever work in an office, ever, so these rules do not apply to me.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-12-23 14:43:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man, do I know this well.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:17:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Corporate Christmas parties are teh suck.
I had 4 of them last week.
The 1st was great. I ended up with a girl from HR that makes me feel way out of my league. She's just about the prettiest girl in the building. So I thought that X-mas parties were the shit.
At the 2nd one, I ended up sitting with an obese bitch, a belgian with bad manners and some faggoty albino.
I almost fought some old douchebag that told my boss I was trying to fuck his wife in the 3rd one.
The 4th one was with my then-girlfriend and her friends. I had to settle a conflict between 3 angry bisexual bitches, girlfriend included, who were all jealous of each others.
You are right.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2005-12-19 04:03:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the party isint necessarily the worst part.. its the first day back... when everyone is sober, remembers what happend, and certian question come up.. like... WHOS GONNA PAY FOR REPAIRS TO THE COPY MACHINE????, and "WHOS GENETAILS ARE THESE PHOTOCOPIES OF????"... oh, good time had by almost all.
Submitted by Hammy_Bob (user info) at 2005-12-16 00:19:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The only time I attended a christmas party was when I was working as a bartender for a restaurant. THe only people that work at restaurants are Losers, college students, stoners, highschoolers waiting to be corrupted,or management. So a good time was had by all. Of course they were too cheap to actually provide alcohol, even though there was a fully stocked bar, so we hit the place next door to get trashed, hit the parking lot to smoke up, and then went to the "party." When you work at a restaurant you can't ruin your career...only your reputation. I wish I still worked there, now I have a real job, and I don't even think there's a party.
Submitted by the_grendel (user info) at 2005-12-15 17:04:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, i've been there.
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2005-12-15 16:06:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
aha! nice! "who only smiles because it pulls her fangs out of the bottom of her mouth" i love it!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:57:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My hotel's party is Sunday.
I plan on staying at home, getting drunk , watching football and crank calling the hotel.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-12-15 01:39:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My firm rules, check out the most posh digs they're taking us to, and did I mention FREE DRINKS?
http://www.33restaurant.com/
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-12-14 22:22:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
definitely #1
Submitted by Pelvis_Man (user info) at 2005-12-14 14:08:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Whatever you do, stay away from that sweet sweet Pussah."
This couldn't have kept you out of B@W for long...
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-14 13:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I did for awhile, then I got bored and was playing around with experimenting with Erotica (The Igneous Stories) and figured Uber is really the only good place to do that.
Ever since, I've been posting like the tall skinny whore I am.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-12-14 12:14:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought you quit?
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-12-14 08:54:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats on B@W
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-14 11:47:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats! As to AshK's comment about the angry lovin'... SHUT UP AND SWIM, WOMAN!
Submitted by ASW (user info) at 2005-12-14 11:11:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"RyuFu" "RyuFu" "RyuFu"
Your an Austrlaia Melbourne man!!!!!! Cococabanna is on smith st!
Dont worry i had my after party from high school there and yes its a latin club with a small bar that big enough to fit 2 fat chicks and a person very drunk and a christmas party who wants a tequilla shot! but nown and then you have to get fucked and a christmas party and instead of fuck that girl in a board room i took her home i like rumors specialy about the bosses daughter!
Have a good one RyuFu maybe we should get a drink sometime!
ASW
p.s good post
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-12-14 10:26:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This year's company party is at Copacabana, about 40 blocks up from work. I declined to RSVP, seeing as the last time I was there was on graduation night. From high school.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-12-14 09:43:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-12-14 08:54:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats on B@W
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-12-14 08:52:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-14 08:33:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
How does one drink off of one's own nipples?
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2005-12-14 07:58:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
ho hum boring
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-12-14 07:32:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mind you, I get paid with food stamps.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-12-14 07:32:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the people I work with. I'm the most unprofessional boss ever. It's fucking great.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-14 05:38:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This rules.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-14 05:27:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-14 05:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"There are two paths to my heart: My dick and my liver. Thank you for picking the right one."
------------------
I'm stealing this. It's mine now.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-12-14 04:59:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Definitely.
You fuckin dork.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-12-14 04:56:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-14 04:04:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good one snarky
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-12-14 03:38:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2005-12-13 23:29:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-12-13 20:04:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
--------------------
I second this ... why aren't there more nominations!? This is gold!
----------------------
How the hell do you nominate?
Personally I just don't bother going. I just head down the pub with people I don't want to beat to death.
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2005-12-13 23:29:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-12-13 20:04:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
--------------------
I second this ... why aren't there more nominations!? This is gold!
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2005-12-13 23:07:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking awesome
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-12-13 22:53:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just two things Snark.
1). Don't get drunk around people you work for....ever. This one works very well for me, especially at those week long conferences.
2). Practice saying this: "I don't know what happened. As I was just about to leave for the party I threw up all over everything!" That way it will sound convincing when your boss asks you why you didn't attend.
Submitted by Walker (user info) at 2005-12-13 21:19:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good read
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-12-13 20:04:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2005-12-13 19:49:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2005-12-13 19:01:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I do not miss corporate Christams parties in the least.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-12-13 18:25:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:26:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
We had open bar at our party.
I sang karoke.
I want to die.
---------------------
karokowned
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-13 18:02:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
DEAL!
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-12-13 17:33:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:27:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll kill you if you kill me first
---------
Only if we can have angry, angry lovins first.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-13 17:20:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The post was great, the picture was very good too
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-12-13 17:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
tru dat
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:18:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh man...i hear ya.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:09:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Before this job, I worked for a liquor company. Imagine the party they threw. It was all that and more.
I knew rule #4.
I broke rule #4.
Not once, but twice (2 different parties).
To make matters worse, I had a smiliar situation at the summer event. That is how I got the rep of being the "corporate whore."
I was fired for something else, but I've heard several times it was because I kept sleeping with girls the big boss man liked. That's probably not true, but I like to think it was. After all, if you can't stick it to the man, at least you can stick it to the girl the man wants and can't get.
So, my new company has a X-mas party coming up...
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:58:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:40:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh God, the fucking after party pictures.
I'm far from photogenic, and even less so when I'm drunk, and pasty, and my eyes are two little slits.
There are a couple circulating around here too. I've sent them to a couple friends as a way of self punishment for being an idiot.
----------------
I smell camwhore.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:40:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh God, the fucking after party pictures.
I'm far from photogenic, and even less so when I'm drunk, and pasty, and my eyes are two little slits.
There are a couple circulating around here too. I've sent them to a couple friends as a way of self punishment for being an idiot.
Submitted by Embryo (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:27:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We had a hula hoop contest at ours on the dance floor, I'm not sad that I lost, I'm sad that I was out there. They're hanging pictures as we speak. Fucking open bar.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:25:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Simple Math:
Bob + Alcohol = Asshole
I avoid any professional social functions.
If I do go, I tend to get drunk in a corner with a few trusted peers. Once my group gets to be 10-12 people, it's time to go.
Submitted by GaidinCanuck (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:24:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Golden
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:23:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I went to my christmas party last week, and I think I broke every rule before you even thought this up. I went alone, got drunk as shit, and.....I.........I.......line?
I'M A GODAMN PSYCHIC NAZI.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:18:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now you're talking, Mr. Spock.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:15:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:12:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
a few strategically hidden pint flasks of booze also help things along...why pay top dollar hotel liquor prices, when Jimbo's Liquor Shack has a special on Popov's for $2.99?
========================
Snark + Flask * Company Party = www.furnitureporn.com
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:12:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a few strategically hidden pint flasks of booze also help things along...why pay top dollar hotel liquor prices, when Jimbo's Liquor Shack has a special on Popov's for $2.99?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:10:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was beautiful. I may tear up.
My company is apparently too cheap to have a holiday party this year, so I'm going to wind up inadvertently avoiding all of the pitfalls you mentioned. Which is a shame.
Stupid company. It's not like we're in, oh, I don't know, the entertainment field or anything. No office party? The fuck?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:08:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You most definitely can!
All you have to do is cleverly disguise them as glasses... damn, why didn't I think of that before?
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:07:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was refering to MY date. Can I drink MY beer off of her nips?
Is this ok?
This is my first year working for this contractor, ie my first "Holiday Party" here.(the company is owned by a Jewish famiky, so no mention of Christmas)
I have been to these in the past and have escaped ok.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:02:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:59:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Only drink wine or light beer. If you choose beer, drink it from a glass, not from your own nipples.
---
So can I drink it off of HER nipples?
=================
Dude, you are more than welcome to trade places with me.
Godchicken,
Ok, you convinced me. Closet humping it is.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:59:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Only drink wine or light beer. If you choose beer, drink it from a glass, not from your own nipples.
---
So can I drink it off of HER nipples?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:58:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was too sick to attend the big company lunch the other day.
When everyone was gone and the office was quiet I pissed in the plants in the reception area and then went back to my desk.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:55:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:41:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:38:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck her again dude. It'll be good for morale.
=================
So, take one for the team huh?
Hmmm I'll drink on it.
=====================
hey, Corporate is always looking for "team players" anyway.
besides, she'll be much more pleasant when her cervix is still dropping back down out of her lungs from the mid-day quickie in the supply closet.
Submitted by LiquidPaper (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:45:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:43:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:40:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Eyrrrrrrugh. Give me lower pay and less bullshit any day. Woooo for stagehands!
-----
Or just become an antisocial, narcoleptic (yet insomniac) geek. It's a rough life, hooked up to the caffeine IV.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:41:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:38:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck her again dude. It'll be good for morale.
=================
So, take one for the team huh?
Hmmm I'll drink on it.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:40:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:40:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Eyrrrrrrugh. Give me lower pay and less bullshit any day. Woooo for stagehands!
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:38:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 boss from "The Incredibles"
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:38:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck her again dude. It'll be good for morale.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:37:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:32:13 (#)
Ranking: 1
There's an alarming lack of Igneous in my life, Snark.
==============================
Half way done bro. Was gonna finish on the weekend but vomiting got in the way.
Good times.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:32:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:32:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
There's an alarming lack of Igneous in my life, Snark.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:29:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have had the fortune of always quitting my job before christmas, so I skip out on the party. Sweet.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:27:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll kill you if you kill me first.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:26:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So sticking a straw in the bowl of spiked eggnog and drinking it isn't appropriate? Damn.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:26:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We had open bar at our party.
I sang karoke.
I want to die.