The Top 10 Tookie Williams' Children Books That Didn't Make it to Print (1277 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.6 on 59 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Levity (View user info) at 2005-12-13 14:24:40 EST
10. All Your Niggaz are Belong to Us
9. Pigs Aren't Just Farm Animals
8. See Jane Run Like the Crazy Crackwhore She Is
7. Bustin Caps with Homey The Clown
6. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Kill Whitey
5. My First Day of School, Keeping My Pimp Hand Strong
4. Around the World In A 1980 Hooptie
3. Father and Son; A Lesson in Small Arms Targeting
2. The Little Nigga That Could
1. God Are You There, It's me Tookie
User Reviews
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-14 13:58:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If nothing else this Levity cat owned Shlongy on this post.
Bravo!!!
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2005-12-13 21:23:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:47:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I chuckled a bit at these but this was the funniest:
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Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:06:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait, wait, hold on...this is the part where you start talking about your money and houses and stuff right?
Let me save you the time.
YOu make more money than me.
You're hotter than me.
You're wife is hotter than mine.
YOu could OWN me if you wanted.
YOu make my yearly salary in a week.
You're way tougher than I am.
You're intellectually superior to me.
So now the I'VE used all your standard bullshit what else do you have?
Oh wait, And I'm gay.
There that should cover it.
-----------------
ironically, by disapproving of you, schlongy IMPROVED your rating.
Submitted by Mrs.Love (user info) at 2005-12-13 21:05:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that is some funny ass shit.
you should have figured out a way to incorporate the boxcar children or the babysitters club... or the ugly duckling.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2005-12-13 20:39:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
when you miss, you miss
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2005-12-13 20:28:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why the hell do all these cold blooded killers have cutsie names? "Tookie", a mass murderer?
What about Stanley 'The fucking homicidal maniac' Williams?
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-12-13 17:50:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i chuckled
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2005-12-13 17:36:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Most of these were pretty generic and boring, but number 6 & 10 did get a chuckle
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-13 17:14:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This post is the funniest thing since Richard Pryor died.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-13 17:11:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dude, what are you talking about?
Submitted by Azk (user info) at 2005-12-13 17:11:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 = "dont bother".
Dont take it so badly.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2005-12-13 17:03:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:16:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
shlongy, don't take it so serious, I'm just fucking with you to try and get your old form back.
__________________________
Badass, is this your alter you bastard.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:57:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck you, racist
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:53:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
way to keep me in the loop cro-mag
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:47:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I chuckled a bit at these but this was the funniest:
----------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:06:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait, wait, hold on...this is the part where you start talking about your money and houses and stuff right?
Let me save you the time.
YOu make more money than me.
You're hotter than me.
You're wife is hotter than mine.
YOu could OWN me if you wanted.
YOu make my yearly salary in a week.
You're way tougher than I am.
You're intellectually superior to me.
So now the I'VE used all your standard bullshit what else do you have?
Oh wait, And I'm gay.
There that should cover it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:47:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I think Levity covered it all quite nicely in his last response to me.
I mean, what else IS there?
Shlongy by TKO.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:45:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I laughed at the one fish, two fish kill whitey.
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:35:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by toucan_sam (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:33:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i thought mr. ed died...
Submitted by resignator (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:19:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This whole, "take something ordinary and make it sound ghetto" thing never gets old.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:16:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shlongy, don't take it so serious, I'm just fucking with you to try and get your old form back.
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:06:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
...and die
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:06:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait, wait, hold on...this is the part where you start talking about your money and houses and stuff right?
Let me save you the time.
YOu make more money than me.
You're hotter than me.
You're wife is hotter than mine.
YOu could OWN me if you wanted.
YOu make my yearly salary in a week.
You're way tougher than I am.
You're intellectually superior to me.
So now the I'VE used all your standard bullshit what else do you have?
Oh wait, And I'm gay.
There that should cover it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-13 16:02:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I have chunks in my stool that are tougher than you. Just quietly turn off your mommies computer...and go back downstairs and turn on Seseme Street.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:50:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Wow. This really just wasn't that funny.
Putting "nigga" concepts into classic children book titles doesn't constitute comedy.
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're too easy Shlongy, really you are.
Come back when you're ready for me.
You're not nearly badass enough.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:48:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nope. That's the first time I've used it.
No one else was as worthy of it as you, Virg.
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:45:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm batting a 1.0?
Is this some type of old fashioned put down?
CockJockey, come on now surely you have more originality than that, I mean that's got to be what, the 1.000th time you've used that one.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:39:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're batting 1.000, responding to your minuses, cock-jockey.
I don't think you really want to "take a Uber Poll" to see who's right here, Junior.
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:35:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:29:44 (#)
Ranking: -1
I never thought I'd agree with shlongy
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You could have at least dropped a -2, pussy.
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:31:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:28:20 (#)
Ranking: -2
FEED TERRY!
===========
Thanks for taking Shlongy's cock out of your mouth long enough to rate.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well it's not good but then again it's not bad so it must be the fookin' ugly that's all I can say.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:29:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I never thought I'd agree with shlongy
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:28:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
FEED TERRY!
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:27:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Me angry, come now you're the one that responded with threats of physical violence.
Hell I haven't even done any crying, I simply inquired as to what YOU have to offer.
Besides I don't care about the ratings, only yours man only yours.
I'm sure from the outside looking I'm the one that appears calm and levelheaded here, I mean I'm not the one that threatened you to be harmed in a way as to be stuck on a feeding tube.
Or did you forget that, senility is a bitch isn't.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:27:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you forgot to mention that Tookie wrote the pilot episode for Ally McBeal for christ sake. Does everyone forget so quickly?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:22:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm guessing that by responding in anger and crying your little emo tears to EVERY SINGLE MINUS that you receive...that you'll be having a heart attack long before I do, Sparky.
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:17:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't get worked up old man, I don't want you having a heart attack or anything.
Forgive me I forgot you were old, and likely a little stupid so I'll go back to posting the big shiny pictures so you can follow along.
Now run along pops, isn't time for your Ovaltine.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll tell you what, asshole.
Since you seem to an even BIGGER fucking crybaby than even ETS - and I didn't think THAT was even possible - let's just start every one of your posts, from here on in, with a big fat -2 and a "fuck you" and do not ever come within 20 feet of me for the rest of your life or you'll be attached to a feeding tube for at least a week.
Goddamn whinyass pussy.
Let me guess. You're between "this many" and 22 years old.
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:02:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:01:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
Would have been better with photoshop, MSPaint...something to spruce it up...anything but a list.
An unoriginal list, at that.
============
suck a dick dumbass
when you do something quality let me know and I'll call Dubya and we'll make a fucking holiday or something
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:01:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Would have been better with photoshop, MSPaint...something to spruce it up...anything but a list.
An unoriginal list, at that.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-13 15:00:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you try being a tattletale in the joint, you gon' get a shiv in tha ribs
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:57:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mtgn37 (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:31:48 (#)
Ranking: -1
would have been funny if you had photoshopped or MSpainted some books instead of just listing the titles.
============
Didn't you get the memo, your opinion doesn't count.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:51:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Luckilly for you, FS, numbers 1, 2 and 6 were funny. The rest kind of sucked.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:48:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
#'s 9 & 5 were good.
The rest were average.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:46:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
>>One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Kill Whitey<<
Classic.
Submitted by LiquidPaper (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:45:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the little nigger that could
this was fucking gold my man.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:43:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha..'Are you there, It's Me Tookie'.... I read that book. Well, not that one. The other one. The one with God and Margaret.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:42:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
electrifying! FA! get it? death penalty joke, well... no ones gonna laugh are they.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:41:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:38:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very nicely done.
i especially enjoyed the Judy Blume reference.
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:35:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm sick of all the tookie posts but this was good
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:34:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Kill Whitey....BWUAHAHAHAHAHHAA
Funniest Tookie post I've seen
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:33:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just want to get here before DeadHorse.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:31:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahah
Submitted by mtgn37 (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:31:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
would have been funny if you had photoshopped or MSpainted some books instead of just listing the titles.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:31:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:30:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:29:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
<chuckle, snort>
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-12-13 14:29:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment