Ripped From Today's Headlines - CANADA ROCKS!!!! (858 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 0.25 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cadrach (View user info) at 2005-12-14 10:39:57 EST
The link for the story is here -
http://upi.com/NewsTrack/view.php?StoryID=20051213-060124-2523r
The TEXT of the story is here -
NEW DRUG ACTS AS MARIJUANA IN THE BRAIN
MONTREAL, Dec. 13 (UPI) -- A McGill University study suggests a new anti-depressant drug works by raising levels of endocannabinoids -- similar to a substance found in marijuana.
The study suggests the new drug, called URB597, might represent a safer alternative to use of marijuana for treatment of pain and depression, and open the door to new and improved treatments for clinical depression.
In pre-clinical laboratory tests researchers found URB597 increased the production of endocannabinoids by blocking their degradation, resulting in measurable antidepressant effects.
"This is the first time it has been shown a drug that increases endocannabinoids in the brain can improve your mood," said lead investigator Dr. Gabriella Gobbi, a researcher at Montreal and McGill Universities.
The researchers, including scientists from the University of California-Irvine, were able to measure serotonin and noradrenaline activity as a result of the increased endocannabinoids.
"The results were similar to the effect we might expect from the use of commonly prescribed antidepressants, which are effective on only around 30 percent of the population," said Gobbi. "Our discovery strengthens the case for URB597 as a safer, non-addictive, non-psychotropic alternative to cannabis for the treatment of pain and depression."
The insightful critique of the ramifications of the news story is here -
Dude. Fuck prozac. URB597 (soon to be marketed under the name "Herb420") is going to change the way that millions of clinically depressed housefraus und emokids eeke out their meaningless existances. It is also predicted to quadruple the annual sale of girl scout cookies, Cheez-Its and Doritos (all flavors).
We may be entering a golden age of civilization and I for one could not be more excited.
CANADA, the world stands in your debt. Forever.
User Reviews
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-01-17 15:03:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:11:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-12-14 12:35:38 (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmm, so we can pay another big pharmaceutical company fistfuls of cash for a close approximation of something that we should be able to grow ourselves.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-01-17 14:57:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Douche
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2005-12-14 18:53:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GDR (user info) at 2005-12-14 18:39:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for canada rocks
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:11:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-12-14 12:35:38 (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmm, so we can pay another big pharmaceutical company fistfuls of cash for a close approximation of something that we should be able to grow ourselves.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2005-12-14 14:13:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Merck = $300 per pill. i think i'll just stick with a reefer.
Submitted by mtgn37 (user info) at 2005-12-14 13:19:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-12-14 12:35:38 (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmm, so we can pay another big pharmaceutical company fistfuls of cash for a close approximation of something that we should be able to grow ourselves.
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exactly right you hairy wookie
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-12-14 12:35:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmm, so we can pay another big pharmaceutical company fistfuls of cash for a close approximation of something that we should be able to grow ourselves.
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2005-12-14 12:29:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by stuckfix (user info) at 2005-12-14 10:41:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for the pill. -2 for socialism.
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Name that book - soma
"A gram is better than a damn!"
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2005-12-14 11:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for a pot-like high from a little pill
-2 for referring to the sovereign nation of Quebec as Canada
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-12-14 11:23:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're welcome. It's aboot time we got some recognition.
Hosers.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-14 11:12:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Must be a front page typo.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-12-14 11:11:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, but does it get you high?
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-12-14 11:02:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck. I was going to do something about the Iran thing.
I was going to do something about the anti-headline campaign too.
Does this mean I have to stop working on my Jack McCallum and Loki as Ron Burgundy and Veronica Corningstone post?
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2005-12-14 11:00:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Then there is the whole "Israel is getting ready to take out Iran's nuclear reactor (again) and most likely provoke even more violence and war in the region because as it is, Iran's president is out there saying that the Holocost never happened, so that's probably not good for relations between the two countries" thing.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
I hope they release Herb420 soon.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-14 10:57:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
where the fuck is Caulaincourt to come a bitch about someone posting about a headline...oh wait this is about Canada.
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2005-12-14 10:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
In other news -
A woman was abducted and killed. Her body was found on the property of the man who plays Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch on television's Sesame Street.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,178638,00.html
Coming as this story does from FOXNEWS, it seems to be PROOF that everyone associated with Public Broadcasting is a minion of the Dark Lord of Evil. Especially those who routinely interact with muppets.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-14 10:53:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Neither good nor bad.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-14 10:51:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Canada rocks. And rolls. All night, baby.
Just not as much as America does.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-14 10:47:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Definitely cool, yet I cannot admit Canada rocks. Too many maple syrup drinking snow monkeys. Granted I have only met one Canadian, but that is what I gleaned from the experience about the whole country, and a horrible lay-over experience in the Toronto airport.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-12-14 10:43:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lump sat alone in a boggy marsh
Totally motionless except for her heart
Mud flowed up into lump's pyjammas
She totally confused all the passing piranhas.
She's lump she's lump
She's in my head
She's lump she's lump she's lump
She might be dead
Lump lingered last in line for brains
And the ones she got were sorta rotten and insane
Small thing's so sad that birds could land
Is lump fast asleep or rockin' out with the band
She's lump she's lump
She's in my head
She's lump she's lump she's lump
She might be dead
Lump was limp and lonely and needed a shove
Lump slipped on a kiss and tumbled into love
She spent her twenties between the sheets
Life limped along at subsonic speeds
She's lump she's lump
She's in my head
She's lump she's lump she's lump
She might be dead
Is this lump out of my head I think so
Is this lump out of my head I think so
Is this lump out of my head I think so
Is this lump out of my head....
Submitted by stuckfix (user info) at 2005-12-14 10:41:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for the pill. -2 for socialism.