RE: Everyone suck my cock (1350 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.57 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Heywood Jablome (View user info) at 2005-12-14 14:30:21 EST
Seeing the title of the aforementiond shitty post got me thinking........
Remember that little experiment they do when you're in 4th grade or so? I'm sure most of you can remember 8 months ago. The one where they take baking soda and put a teaspoon in water, and then a teaspoon in vinegar, and it serves as a metaphor for individual reactions to a drug. Bottom line, even if everyone else does it and is ok, doesn't mean you'll be....you could be the one person who it kills instantly....whatever.
My thought was, given the sheer number of people on earth, isn't there a chance that a woman (hopefully) somewhere would have the proper receptors in her brain, or whatever it takes, to become addicted to the chemical makeup of my semen? Taken orally of course.
I mean ~6 billion people on earth, say 3 billion are female, am I really to believe that there is less than a 1/3,000,000,000 chance that semen addiction is possible? That's like the same odds as the big bang having happened, or loki actually impressing someone with her incessant and unwarranted chatter about her sweet job in the mail room, and alma mater, and math degree, and gay dog, and camping trips, and political beliefs....wait...the point is, the big bang worked out nicely, and loki landed herself, well, someone of the opposite sex...so fuck.
Imagine the implications...people ruin their whole lives over heroin or coke. I would be like a god to this woman. Akin to being the only drug dealer in the entire world, I'd be getting head like 50 times a day (which incidently would be only a marginal increase from my current pace), in an effort by her to obtain the ever increasing dosage required to satiate her addiction.
Plus I'd call the shots in the relationship...which is really what I'm after.
"Oh..bitch needs her fix? Put your blumpkin shoes on hunnie"
So, is anyone aware of any research being done in this field? Knowing this could have some merit would give me a whole different outlook on life.
User Reviews
Submitted by Dane1901 (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:37:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't hate you jay, i just think you're a cancer on society.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh man, you must really suck to already hate me on Sphagnum levels...
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-12-16 03:50:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Dane1901 (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:02:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
sinna,
and why would I care what the fuck you think?
Are you trying to impress your new internet friends by ganging up with them against me?
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Because I'm finding the rise it's getting out of you amusing. You childish tantrum is keeping me entertained. I'm thinking about running a book on how long it is until you call someone a poopy-head.
Submitted by Dane1901 (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:02:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sinna,
and why would I care what the fuck you think?
Are you trying to impress your new internet friends by ganging up with them against me?
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:53:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Dane1901 (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:04:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Proof, I believe you meant "chord".
P.S. Just because I replied to something you wrote didn't mean I took offense or was otherwise bothered by it. Any input by you, an undoubtedly overweight, unattractive, middle-aged, probably 2x divorced, failure, is taken with a grain of salt. I wouldn't even take the time to spit on you, if i walked by you, although I'm sure it would be much deserved.
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Sounds a lot to me like you did take offense. Bless.
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2005-12-14 23:10:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dick breath Dane......Is that 1,901 sucked or 1,901" sucked?
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2005-12-14 22:42:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:49:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
shlongy, aren't you the guy who pretends to be from HH? And someone found pictures of you wearing ball huggers, jamming out in some gay band, then you didn't show your face for 3 weeks due to internet embarrassment? Oh god, that was funny.
___________________________________
Lots of straight guys wear ball huggers and join gay bands, don't be so critical.
this made my howl.
Submitted by damage.com (user info) at 2005-12-14 22:10:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Blumpkin...shoes...?
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-12-14 18:40:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-12-14 18:01:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You know, you waited this long to post, why didn't you just keep on waiting?
This sucks so hard you might as well be an alter, so STFU ALTER!!!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:53:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shlongy - don't let Dane get you down. People respect you because of your willingness to post those pictures. It shows how you've grown as a person.
Hey, someone has to stand up for the wizened midget.
Wont be me, but I just think someone should stand up for him. Stop hiding his step ladder and whatnot.
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:49:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shlongy, aren't you the guy who pretends to be from HH? And someone found pictures of you wearing ball huggers, jamming out in some gay band, then you didn't show your face for 3 weeks due to internet embarrassment? Oh god, that was funny.
___________________________________
Lots of straight guys wear ball huggers and join gay bands, don't be so critical.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:33:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey Dane...aren't you the nobody who I don't give a fuck about, but would gladly knock your teeth down your throat if we ever crossed paths?
Oh, and you're one helluva an email composer, too, asslick.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:00:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm addicted to Al Roker's chocolate sunshine.
Submitted by Dane1901 (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:43:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shlongy, aren't you the guy who pretends to be from HH? And someone found pictures of you wearing ball huggers, jamming out in some gay band, then you didn't show your face for 3 weeks due to internet embarrassment? Oh god, that was funny.
Submitted by Dane1901 (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:40:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fluff, i don't get your response.
Submitted by sealclubber (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:14:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
shut up
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:13:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Much better comeback...BTW how do you know all that stuff about me?
Scary
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:12:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's a solution; Stop thinking.
Then, stop posting.
Case closed.
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:06:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Title says all.
Submitted by Dane1901 (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:04:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Proof, I believe you meant "chord".
P.S. Just because I replied to something you wrote didn't mean I took offense or was otherwise bothered by it. Any input by you, an undoubtedly overweight, unattractive, middle-aged, probably 2x divorced, failure, is taken with a grain of salt. I wouldn't even take the time to spit on you, if i walked by you, although I'm sure it would be much deserved.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-14 14:53:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You are hooked on smack and rock
And, too, the white juice from my cock,
You're shaking, dear, so on your knees
And earn my cumspray as you please
My ribbed, red rod, my dermis dome,
My butthole bumper stripped of chrome.
You need your fix? Come suck my dick.
You need a score? Suck well, you whore.
I drop my dimebags - skeet skeet skeet,
I cut my white lines 'cross your feet,
Now suck your toes and earn your high,
Don't miss that dribble on your thigh,
Lap it up and chase that dragon,
I hope you don't fall off the wagon.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-12-14 14:52:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Dane1901 (user info) at 2005-12-14 14:46:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Proof, I see this same thought has crossed your mind before. Probably right about the time when your joke of a boyfriend, or Dad as you call him, shot his load right in his own eye, as you jerked him off on the carride home from picking your 200lb ass up from planned parenthood.
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I guess what I wrote struck a cord with you.......you better have some thick skin if you plan on sticking around here any length of time. Oh and if you are a "male" you might want to ask Santa for a larger penis and a set a balls.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-12-14 14:46:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah it's feasible, but thus far the only documented case of semen addiction is that of your father
Submitted by Dane1901 (user info) at 2005-12-14 14:46:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Proof, I see this same thought has crossed your mind before. Probably right about the time when your joke of a boyfriend, or Dad as you call him, shot his load right in his own eye, as you jerked him off on the carride home from picking your 200lb ass up from planned parenthood.
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2005-12-14 14:44:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Only due to the fact that I have actually wondered about this
myself.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-12-14 14:38:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The chances are greater that you are actually addicted to your own semen.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-14 14:35:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
When people are sucking your strap on that is over your sandy cunt, it's not the same as a penis. Don't delude yourself.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-14 14:33:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
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