The Dawn Of An Era: The Civil War Of Ubersite (2539 hits)
Category: Politics -> DemocratsRating: 1.45 on 135 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (View user info) at 2005-12-14 15:24:23 EST
Since my first days here, I can remember Method posting boy-on-boy pornography and letters of the alphabet like most people who have sex with dead babies do. At first it was like I was Ralph Macchio and he was a taller and dumber version of Mr. Miyagi that wore pink spandex. He taught me how to piss people off, how to write outlandish yet boring stories about getting my penis caught in a dryer/fire hydrant/car door while my girlfriend/mom/best friend tries in vain to get me to consider going to college, and I was grateful for that.
But now it comes to the time where the battle lines must be drawn.
Yesterday on his post, http://www.ubersite.com/m/80904, I called this lowly dropping of chicken shit out for what he really is. He has been here for close to 80 years, and has an insane amount of alters which he uses to manipulate users for his own amusement. After many days of letting Method reign like a drunken sailor over ubersite, I've decided that it is time for me to make a stand against this evil tyrant. My friends; Method is a puppeteer, pulling on your heartstrings and trying to make you think he's the resurrection of rico suave himself. Nothing could be further from the truth...
You see, I've never met Method in real life, but I can tell that I would kick his ass severely. His face is the size of a softball field, and his hands are softer than a pillow filled with marshmallow fluff from what I've heard. He takes walks in the rain so he looks like a Backstreet Boys backup dancer when he goes "clubbing" every weekday down at the local T.G.I. Friday's. His current girlfriend is a packet of ketchup named "Marmalade" for some crazy reason (probably hippie parents) and apparently Marmalade wants Method to stop using mayonnaise all together or she is outta there. If she only knew that it was actually lotion to keep Method's tonsils nice and moist then that godamn harlot might have left him sooner for a real man who only eats live animals (me and/or Bill Murray).
I've also composed of a list of 2,674 reasons why Method should be put to death immediately, but I'm stoned to kingdom come, and I can't remember for the life of me where I put them.................wait.........WAIT..........I think I remember a few....
#1. He wants prostitution to be legalized, and for all the taxes that come from it to be spent on new technology for longer-lasting hair gel.
#2. He sews blankets from the skin of baby seals and sells them on the QVC network. I don't know if you've ever seen him trying to shill these cheap-ass sorry excuses for baby seal blankets, but apparently his face has caused an outbreak of suicides throughout the bible belt.
#3. His father is a freak; half barracuda, half native american , and his mother is the entire island of Lesbos.
I hate Method so fucking bad now from writing this that I'm going to ignore him this entire paragraph, sans the first line, and boast about how great I am in comparison. So....like really and stuff like that......yeah really yeah.....I know I so want like a new hat to wear this weekend so I can piss in it. One time when I was in high school I ate a crate filled with anthrax and pooped out the meaning of life, autographed and laminated by the big J.C. himself. I carried a tractor built out of pure granite across the country in a single night because I was sleepwalking. I had a tumor cut out of my brain by my dog last Friday with a butterknife and some fingernail clippers while I wrote the next Lindsay Lohan album due for release in late 2006. My wife gave birth to a full-grown hippopotamus yesterday, which I promptly ate after it was free from the grasps of her birth canal. I invented water.
As you can see, I'm not going to just try and make Method all sad like a panda bear on Zoloft; I want to break him. This is a war of mass proportions. I'm the Ulysses S. Grant of ubersite; only wanting equality and justice for all it's people, while Method is comparable to the alcoholic and brash Robert E. Lee; always praising the enslavement of minorities while he eats pork and beans with his hands.
You don't want history to be rewritten in favor of the south, do you uber? You...you don't hate god and freedom, right? Because if you side with Method, you side with Osama Bin Laden and the Middle East. You are saying that you are a rapist, and that the only way you can ejaculate is by having porcupine quills shoved into your urethra.
This is just the beginning. Throughout the next four months, with the months representing each year of the U.S. civil war, I will make accusations of character on anyone who sides with the south. Once your allegiance has been stated, there is no turning back. With Abe Lincoln's corpse standing proudly in my bedroom, I have more than enough inspiration to make Method and his cohorts lives a living hell for what will seem like an eternity. You might be thinking "why do you want to split ubersite into factions? Don't you believe in peace?". If anyone dare ask me that question, I will rip out the femur from your leg and build a bone guitar which I will then set on fire in memorium of Jimi Hendrix. Once everyone's allegiance has been settled upon, I will send out fruit baskets to all who join me in my conquest for freedom.
And what exactly shall we do to battle and determine a winner? Easy. Wednesdays will be known as the day of battle, and whichever side has the person with the highest rated/most reviewed post at the end of the day claims victory for their faction. At the halfway point and at the end, me and Method will have a massive flame war which will be decided for by non-participants and will count for 30% of the final tally. If the south wins, I will personally read and rate two pieces by each author of Method's pathetic army of retards and send you like a dollor or something. If my side wins, I bet Method won't give you anything because he's a pathetic penny-pinching miser.
So, what will it be? Frankly, you have no choice. Will you side with a guy who lives with his parents in an apartment that likes to carry around a shotgun at carnivals? Or will you side with Method that douchebag loving whore-mongering evil faggot that sucks beagle cock for spare change? I leave you with an updated camwhore to hopefully show my dedication towards my future warriors of freedom.
User Reviews
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-19 09:05:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
METHOD HAS BEEN VANQUISHED!
Submitted by minimumdino (user info) at 2006-01-10 18:30:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
one day when you make friends you will forget all about your computer
that wont happen
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2005-12-24 02:57:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HOW I MINE 4 FISH?
Submitted by PodmaPettit (user info) at 2005-12-24 02:47:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Dear FartSmeller,
What exactly do you mean that I must be an "alter"? Is that good or bad?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-15 19:13:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
as long as i get to play like scarlet and wear frilly dresses. i'll even help reburn atlanta.... wait that's the wrong side. hmmm
Submitted by U927 (user info) at 2005-12-15 16:20:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmmm... Born in the North, but living in the South...
Fuck you guys, I'm moving to Alaska, where all I have to worry about are crazy polar bears and even crazier Inuits.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-12-15 16:15:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm confused and more importantly, aroused by this post.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-12-15 12:38:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So gather 'round, gather 'round chillun'
Get down, well just get down chillun'
Get loud, well you can be loud and be proud
Well you can be proud, hear now
Be proud you're a rebel
'Cause the South's gonna do it again and again
-----------------------------------
Yeeeee-haaaaaaw.
Let's do the damn thing!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-15 12:36:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm on whichever side doesn't NOT include Shlongy's sorry ass.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-12-15 12:35:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What about me? I already dibsed Jeb Stuart!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-15 12:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course you do, pants, you're one of my top generals
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-12-15 12:27:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What?! I don't count? Man, fuck this war.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-15 12:26:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha indeed he could, don't forget that MJ is on my side!
Oh, and some guy named zerobootfuck.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-15 12:17:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm making some adjustments to the rules and assigning ranks to users, so I think everyone will get a kick out of this. Method could use a few more soldiers FYI.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:45:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oops... I mean Confederacy.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:45:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Long live the Confederacism.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:44:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 18:31:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
but now it's not a Civil War, it's a World War technically.....
I just wanted to say that before someone else did AND I DON'T GIVE A SHIT FRANKLY BECAUSE THE TITLE IS STAYING WITH CIVIL WAR. IT'S MORE CATCHY.
============================
Dear Gen. Grant
No,this is still only a civil war. The nationalities of the users on uber have nothing to do with this. If it were Uber against pulsehead and other forums, sure then it would be a world war. But within one forum, one war. A civil war.
-Jeb Stuart.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:41:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm coming home to the South! Method, I am with you.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:56:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear Method,
I hope you aren't discouraged. My army is the size of a small ancient chinese city with a lot of "ur's" and shit, while you continue to be stagnant and ignore the call of your people. Time is running slim my adversary, and you are slowly losing before you even start. I'm afraid you will recess into the trenches of defeat without a fight, and I do not want that to happen. I want to make you suffer.
Best Regards,
GLALL
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:30:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Try to be best
'Cause you're only a man
And a man's gotta learn to take it
Try to believe
Though the going gets rough
That you gotta hang tough to make it
History repeats itself
Try and you'll succeed
Never doubt that you're the one
And you can have your dreams!
You're the best!
Around!
Nothing's gonna ever keep you down
You're the Best!
Around!
Nothing's gonna ever keep you down
You're the Best!
Around!
Nothing's gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own
Fight 'til the end
Cause your life will depend
On the strength that you have inside you
Ah you gotta be proud
starin' out in the cloud
When the odds in the game defy you
Try your best to win them all
and one day time will tell
when you're the one that's standing there
you'll reach the final bell!
You're the best!
Around!
Nothing's gonna ever keep you down
You're the Best!
Around!
Nothing's gonna ever keep you down
You're the Best!
Around!
Nothing's gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ho-how-ho-own
INSPIRING GUITAR SOLO
You're the best!
Around!
Nothing's gonna ever keep you down
You're the Best!
Around!
Nothing's gonna ever keep you down
You're the Best!
Around!
Nothing's gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own
Fight 'til you drop
never stop
can't give up
Til you reach the top (FIGHT!)
you're the best in town (FIGHT!)
Listen to that sound
A little bit of all you got
Can never bring you down
You're the best!
Around!
Nothing's gonna ever keep you down
You're the Best!
Around!
repeat to fade, occasional background shouts of "Oh Ye-eah!"
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:19:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am joining GLALL
And....
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:29:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Method has alters? Oh, you mean these guys:
Grimm (22688)
Registered: 2005-10-18 14:00:02 Hits: 3339 Messages: 8 Reviews: 45 Reviewed: 213 Avg Rating: -0.10
MyTeeOne (22692)
Registered: 2005-10-18 17:20:00 Hits: 7163 Messages: 12 Reviews: 323 Reviewed: 301 Avg Rating: 1.54
DrSeussman (22700)
Registered: 2005-10-19 01:47:26 Hits: 12052 Messages: 35 Reviews: 313 Reviewed: 439 Avg Rating: 0.05
Vorknkx (22728)
Registered: 2005-10-20 10:37:03 Hits: 2165 Messages: 5 Reviews: 10 Reviewed: 71 Avg Rating: -0.12
full_frontal (22760)
Registered: 2005-10-21 14:24:28 Hits: 8506 Messages: 14 Reviews: 332 Reviewed: 230 Avg Rating: 0.44
BananaPhone (22794)
Registered: 2005-10-23 15:33:45 Hits: 3110 Messages: 7 Reviews: 62 Reviewed: 146 Avg Rating: 0.66
DropItLikeItsDisgusting (22808)
Registered: 2005-10-24 09:42:49 Hits: 4271 Messages: 16 Reviews: 46 Reviewed: 146 Avg Rating: -0.08
Wisher (22856)
Registered: 2005-10-26 08:44:35 Hits: 1072 Messages: 3 Reviews: 235 Reviewed: 55 Avg Rating: 1.30
Tubabuhst_01 (23003)
Registered: 2005-11-01 19:45:01 Hits: 453 Messages: 2 Reviews: 6 Reviewed: 14 Avg Rating: 0.44
redskieslookfake (23113)
Registered: 2005-11-06 11:33:44 Hits: 11850 Messages: 15 Reviews: 936 Reviewed: 692 Avg Rating: 0.77
Foolproof (23170)
Registered: 2005-11-08 16:25:48 Hits: 2849 Messages: 9 Reviews: 30 Reviewed: 157 Avg Rating: -0.31
coldplay1989 (23272)
Registered: 2005-11-13 06:59:50 Hits: 2022 Messages: 5 Reviews: 10 Reviewed: 95 Avg Rating: -1.22
Its-All-Good (23285)
Registered: 2005-11-13 18:29:00 Hits: 885 Messages: 5 Reviews: 0 Reviewed: 49 Avg Rating: -0.94
maximus72 (23324)
Registered: 2005-11-15 08:45:44 Hits: 1164 Messages: 2 Reviews: 8 Reviewed: 39 Avg Rating: -1.48
fearandloathingnAFG (23348)
Registered: 2005-11-16 09:53:31 Hits: 1035 Messages: 5 Reviews: 11 Reviewed: 40 Avg Rating: 0.31
Short-n-Sweet (23354)
Registered: 2005-11-16 13:41:41 Hits: 720 Messages: 2 Reviews: 13 Reviewed: 44 Avg Rating: -1.43
marblefluss (23427)
Registered: 2005-11-18 23:05:09 Hits: 388 Messages: 2 Reviews: 5 Reviewed: 19 Avg Rating: 0.10
nate (23489)
Registered: 2005-11-22 08:29:25 Hits: 10565 Messages: 18 Reviews: 122 Reviewed: 516 Avg Rating: -0.46
HighVoltage900 (23501)
Registered: 2005-11-22 15:00:58 Hits: 3502 Messages: 9 Reviews: 440 Reviewed: 165 Avg Rating: 1.01
SHIT MAN I'm not an ALTER!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:09:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-12-14 23:21:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Pick a side?
I don't follow this uber soap opera shit. And besides, if I pick you, I'm picking most users over, oh, let's say number 5000 or so, right?
I pick Shlongy because I know if I pick him that there will be golf, booze, and broads involved and even though I haven't actually used my cock since 1988, I am in the mood to get loaded and play some golf.
HEY! Shlongy got a vote and he wasn't even on the ballot!
I haven't used my cock since last night but unfortunately, I was by myself at the time.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-15 04:23:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
my left ear is infected.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2005-12-15 03:32:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in as long as I get to be an executioner too. I'm fickle and have the attention span of a monkey on crack though so I may end up changing sides or completely forgetting about this whole thing.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-12-15 00:31:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Settle it the old fashion way. Have a month long race to see who can molest the most endangered animals.
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-12-14 23:52:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Have at him!
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2005-12-14 23:46:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:56:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:48:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
MAKE LOVE NOT WAR
-----------------
I agree with Jeanneee. Needs more rape.
------------------------------------------------
[carlin...]
Make fuck, not kill.
well.. make fuck, and maybe a little kill.
then again, a lotta fuck and some rape and a decent amount of mass genocide... now THATS gonna be fun.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-12-14 23:38:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
holy shit mikie!.....it's not just a decorative ornament!
.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-12-14 23:21:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pick a side?
I don't follow this uber soap opera shit. And besides, if I pick you, I'm picking most users over, oh, let's say number 5000 or so, right?
I pick Shlongy because I know if I pick him that there will be golf, booze, and broads involved and even though I haven't actually used my cock since 1988, I am in the mood to get loaded and play some golf.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-12-14 22:07:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I SWEAR BY THE SCENT OF ZEUS THAT I AM NOT ARMED WITH A PIECE OF FRUIT.
And he said unto GLALL: "gouge out the eyes of thine opponent (Methodius) with thy wooden door stopper until that they may see the truth of all love and reason" so that the North may prevail by the word of our Lord, Tiger that is Tony.
Amen.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-14 21:54:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ya know, the funniest part of this entire fucking debacle is that GLALL is one of my alters.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-14 21:46:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Get out from under your wife's skirt and pick a side, BigMike.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-12-14 21:43:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Why don't you two settle this like real men over a nice chianti and some fava beans.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-12-14 21:43:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Whatever, I pick Method, even though I only care about this enough to picture two men I've never met rolling around shirtless in olive oil and then sharing a blunt, which is obviously a phallic symbol representative of their latent homosexual desires.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-14 21:39:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!
-- Homer Simpson
Secrets of a Successful Marriage
I hereby declare allegience with GLALL. THE MIGHTY SHALL TREMBLE, YEA, AND THE AWESOME SHALL PREVAIL.
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-12-14 21:18:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 18:31:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
but now it's not a Civil War, it's a World War technically.....
----------------
World War?
I'm in. Hail the Third Reich.
LONG LIVE MEIN DEUSCHLAND!
SEIG HEIL!
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2005-12-14 20:41:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Anyone want to buy some animal shit?...Nevermind...I'm down with the South
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-14 20:07:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-14 20:03:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Union County, Western Kentucky. It's kinda near Muhlenberg County, you know...like in the song. Basically, there are corn fields and coal mines and brilliant Rhodes scholars on their way to solving the many mysteries of the cork screw...
Ok, I made that last part up. We don't even know what cork screws are. We store our wine the old fashioned way...inside used Cool Whip containers.
___________________________________________________________________
At least folks in Colorado can afford real Tupperware. Sheesh!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-14 20:03:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Union County, Western Kentucky. It's kinda near Muhlenberg County, you know...like in the song. Basically, there are corn fields and coal mines and brilliant Rhodes scholars on their way to solving the many mysteries of the cork screw...
Ok, I made that last part up. We don't even know what cork screws are. We store our wine the old fashioned way...inside used Cool Whip containers.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-14 19:52:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ETS, where in Kentucky did you grow up?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-14 19:51:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"One time when I was in high school I ate a crate filled with anthrax and pooped out the meaning of life, autographed and laminated by the big J.C. himself."
J.C. who??? Chasez??? You're weird, man. Fuckin' J.C. Chasez.
As for the rest of the post... I grew up in Kentucky where it's illegal to take sides and mandatory at the same time, so don't ask me what I'm doin' here!
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-12-14 19:39:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to be an indian...errr, Native American
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-14 19:35:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"And it's one, two, three, what're we fightin' for?
don't ask me I don't give a shit, next stop is
heatwhore hit. . ."
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-14 19:33:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...Will you side with a guy who lives with his parents in an apartment
that likes to carry around a shotgun at carnivals?...
------------------------------------
I once had an apartment that liked to carry shotguns. . .
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 19:31:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It means he's a northie.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-12-14 19:30:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2005-12-14 19:23:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Less than three cannabis so Godloves all is my captain with his bigger than average penis and down-to-earth grocery shopping habits.
-------
...the fuck?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2005-12-14 19:23:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Less than three cannabis so Godloves all is my captain with his bigger than average penis and down-to-earth grocery shopping habits.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-12-14 19:17:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha you crazy bastard this is so funny.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-12-14 18:46:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Donnefan (user info) at 2005-12-14 18:44:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-12-14 18:43:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sir! Reporting for duty, sir!
However, I reserve the right in my drunken stupor to switch sides at any moment, because I'm shifty and unreliable like that.
I also have previously made plans to shoot two steers in the head in the morning and use a reciprocating saw to dismember their corpses, so I may not be available. I wish I was kidding.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 18:31:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
but now it's not a Civil War, it's a World War technically.....
I just wanted to say that before someone else did AND I DON'T GIVE A SHIT FRANKLY BECAUSE THE TITLE IS STAYING WITH CIVIL WAR. IT'S MORE CATCHY.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 18:28:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
great idea skies, but we need someone to come forth and be their general...and it can't be someone that me or Method like that is British, so it's open to anyone really.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-14 18:24:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Britain should have its own side. I'm on that one.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-12-14 18:16:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i am siding with north korea. china is fucked.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:50:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlong, if you want me to chop your little buddy off all you have to do is ask.
I'll be there anytime for that little sacrifice.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:47:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...with the emphasis...HEAVY emphasis on "head".
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:46:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't think so, Shlongy, the teams will be decided by tomorrow and be more even than a straight line that's a heterosexual male.
And Manic, I was thinking more along the lines of "beer getter" or something but hey, head executioner will work as well.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:39:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll take the side of whomever is losing.
And then lead that side to an easy victory.
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:24:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:18:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Alter wars, eh?
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:17:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Again, long live the Confederacy.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:16:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am so him.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dibs on Jeb Stuart.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:16:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:05:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
shit I mean we won't. What badass said. Immediate execution. I don't know how I would go about executing people but I am a man of many sources......for things.
----------------
I volunteer for position of Head Executioner. Don't worry, I can be very creative.
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:14:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY! I'm the most viewed Method Alter!
um.. wait...thats not right...
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:12:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My allegiance is to Virginia.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:11:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Long live the Confederasah.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:10:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ALL HAIL GLALL! LONG LIVE THE GLORIOUS NORTH!
As if you really had to ask what side I was on, silly buns.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:09:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you can try but i'm a conscientious objector. i'll flee to pulsehead for a year and get my rape fix there.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:07:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
One more thing: if you have responded to this post then you're in no matter what, and if you haven't picked a side by tomorrow then one will be assigned to you. Method is actually a dog in real life.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:05:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
couldn't get into it.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:05:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shit I mean we won't. What badass said. Immediate execution. I don't know how I would go about executing people but I am a man of many sources......for things.
Submitted by Astropath (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:04:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and grill me a steak, then have my way with your wives, and daughters while you're all off at this silly war.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 17:01:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Me and Method will tolerate any sort of uprising. Bonger, all you gotta do is follow your general's orders, post something you're proud of on a wednesday, and let the battle control itself.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:54:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll assume that battlefeild generalship prevails here and failing to comply with orders will result in immediate execution?
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:50:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Man if you'd pack the bowl I'm in...
what do I have to do?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:50:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Great Tim, that means Method and the south automatically get krissi and a tube of that warm, vadge stuff. I will not tolerate dissention among the ranks on the battlefield.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:44:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I side with the North, General Grant, and GLALL.
I won't let you down chief.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:43:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fair enough badass. The list of people and sides will be posted tomorrow, along with a very special guest speaker, as long as Method hasn't totally pussed out due to the realization I am a sack of awesome filled with meathooks and blueberry jam. Vote or die godammit!
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Me too.
Submitted by _Aries_ (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:42:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in too.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:41:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok I'm in, they'll be a long shortly to join the ranks too.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:40:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Let me talk it over with my people
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:38:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
all the pot you can smoke, badass, courtesy of me. I will not take responsibility for the munchies, though.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:36:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I represent 3 users that are as yet undecided as to which side to choose.
Is there any sort of sign on bonus?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:34:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I understand Jonny, but you must also understand that I might have to carry your head through the streets of Jamestown on a stick while I make love to my many black mistresses. I've already ate enough chicken to fill an ocean.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:32:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't tell me that Method has already given up!
What a weak and worthless piece of gutter trash, he's too busy trying to write and direct new episodes of Queer Eye to try and gather an army. I am utterly apalled.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:30:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:01:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just a message for you Jonny.
You know what to do. I know you know that I know you know what the right decision is. Make it yours, man. Grab life by the horns and JOIN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-------
I am sorry, sirrah, but I must defend our Southern way of life...wow, this WILL be brother against brother and all that other all other cliched shit...
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:26:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
True hit-whoring.
Method's alters alone will have this on most heated
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:19:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I not ashamed of my true identity, Kareem Mohammed Mustafa. Please do not make me "Kareem" all over your face Method
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:16:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
right on Shlongy! You're siding with me after all, right? I'll create an alter to side with Method, just to be fair.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:15:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
and NEVER attack CBG again. Never.
I am kind of interested in the monkey butler, though. GODAMMIT YOU WILL NOT SWAY ME WITH YOUR EVIL!!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:13:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post is sure to bring all of the alters out of hiding...Hey look...a scumbag lawyer!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:13:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not treading shit Jewtoast. You think the law scares me? I'll have you know I am a barbarian, and I will not take kindly to your threats of legal action. Either you can side with me or die. NO OTHER OPTIONS.
Submitted by JewToast. (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:09:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the dickens is going on here? And why is that arab terrorist CBG opening his mouth? Am I the ONLY successful lawyer (Harvard law) with any sort of common sense in this place?
GLALL, you are walking a thin line between libel and parody here, and I suggest you tread carefully.
Of course, for a minimal fee, I can make sure you get away scott-free from any predicament you can get yourself into.
One free monkey butler with every consultation.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:57:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
MY LOVELY LADY LUMPS
---
I hate the Black Eyed Peas. Fergie is a swamp donkey.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-12-14 16:03:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's a thought: who names themselves after a way of doing something, especially a systematic way, implying an orderly logical arrangement. Are we in Tiannemen? Cuz I see a square.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:59:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
CBG's remark is Spanish for "I side with GLALL". Don't think this isn't going to happen, Method. I don't give a shit if everyone thinks I'm crazy, the next four months of your life are going to be worse than when you had sex with a trashcan you thought was Camryn Manheim.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:59:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fighting crime, with a partner,
Lois Lane, Jimmy Carter,
Fighting crime, with a partner,
Lois Lane, Jimmy Carter
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:57:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MY LOVELY LADY LUMPS
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:51:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jeannee, you can be my whore in waiting.
Get back in the tent, you filthy mongrel slut
-------------------------------
My dream is coming true at last!
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:56:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm voting for total destruction. No one standing at the end.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:56:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Does someone else smell the stench of failure and shame getting stronger the more Method tries to wiggle in his little two-bit remarks???
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:56:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:48:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
MAKE LOVE NOT WAR
-----------------
I agree with Jeanneee. Needs more rape.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:53:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I want everyone to know that if you side with me, I will write you into my will. You want a handful of sand when I die, right? Right?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:53:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd take winners.
If I gave a shit.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:53:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
redskieslookfake (23113)
Registered: 2005-11-06 11:33:44 Hits: 11850 Messages: 15 Reviews: 936 Reviewed: 692 Avg Rating: 0.77
---
I could almost be offended by that. That's the second time I've been accused of being an alter. This is like some Turing test.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:53:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thtop it, you're hurting my feelingth.
Seriously though dude, stop emailing me. It's annoying. I really can't hang out with you this weekend, or any weekend.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:51:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, I see that Method has graced us with his presence. I will now douse my computer in gasoline and set it aflame so that I don't catch whatever it is that makes him so unbelievably annoying.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:51:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jeannee, you can be my whore in waiting.
Get back in the tent, you filthy mongrel slut
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:50:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm siding with everyone's favourite G(l)ALL Bladder. I'm not sure what we're fighting for, but dammit I need an excuse to fire up the barby on high and throw the microwave on it with a packet of ketchup inside to see how long it takes to explode the ketchup through the melting microwave and my ritual dances to speed the process up.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:50:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm with Method.
I know it hurts, so SKATE IT OFF.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:48:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MAKE LOVE NOT WAR
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:47:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
P.P.P.S This is the gayest thing I have ever done in my life, and I don't know why I'm going along with it.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:46:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SIGN UP SHEET STARTS HERE! Once the sign ups are over, you may choose a random enemy from the other side and proceed to tear the holy hell out of them.
GLALL is off limits, though, she's all mine.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:45:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
P.P.S This was funny as shit, but you're still going down
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:44:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The line has been drawn in the sand, my friends, time to pick your sides. All ye who want to see this farkin mushmouth get his shit pushed in by yours truly, declare your allegiance.
P.S. I don't have any alters
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:41:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Remind me again...do I like you or not?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:39:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You can stay on the side and watch Davros, but be sure to bring a raincoat, for I will taste the sweet, acrid taste of blood before this is done.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:38:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It has been said that Grant hit the bottle quite a bit himself
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Method invented diabetes.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:36:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pfft. Now you tell me.
-- Homer Simpson, finding out that working at a nuclear
plant can make one sterile
I Married Marge
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:36:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ima join the Union.
It's not so far to walk.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:35:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it when they pick on one of my alters! It cracks me up.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:34:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm almost positive that Method is the Zodiac killer.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:33:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Who the fuck is method?
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:33:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I sit on the fence?
-Dave
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:29:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so where's pretty boy floyd at? Probably at a manicure appointment to keep his toenails from stabbing strangers in the chest.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:29:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Method has alters? Oh, you mean these guys:
Grimm (22688)
Registered: 2005-10-18 14:00:02 Hits: 3339 Messages: 8 Reviews: 45 Reviewed: 213 Avg Rating: -0.10
MyTeeOne (22692)
Registered: 2005-10-18 17:20:00 Hits: 7163 Messages: 12 Reviews: 323 Reviewed: 301 Avg Rating: 1.54
DrSeussman (22700)
Registered: 2005-10-19 01:47:26 Hits: 12052 Messages: 35 Reviews: 313 Reviewed: 439 Avg Rating: 0.05
Vorknkx (22728)
Registered: 2005-10-20 10:37:03 Hits: 2165 Messages: 5 Reviews: 10 Reviewed: 71 Avg Rating: -0.12
full_frontal (22760)
Registered: 2005-10-21 14:24:28 Hits: 8506 Messages: 14 Reviews: 332 Reviewed: 230 Avg Rating: 0.44
BananaPhone (22794)
Registered: 2005-10-23 15:33:45 Hits: 3110 Messages: 7 Reviews: 62 Reviewed: 146 Avg Rating: 0.66
DropItLikeItsDisgusting (22808)
Registered: 2005-10-24 09:42:49 Hits: 4271 Messages: 16 Reviews: 46 Reviewed: 146 Avg Rating: -0.08
Wisher (22856)
Registered: 2005-10-26 08:44:35 Hits: 1072 Messages: 3 Reviews: 235 Reviewed: 55 Avg Rating: 1.30
Tubabuhst_01 (23003)
Registered: 2005-11-01 19:45:01 Hits: 453 Messages: 2 Reviews: 6 Reviewed: 14 Avg Rating: 0.44
redskieslookfake (23113)
Registered: 2005-11-06 11:33:44 Hits: 11850 Messages: 15 Reviews: 936 Reviewed: 692 Avg Rating: 0.77
Foolproof (23170)
Registered: 2005-11-08 16:25:48 Hits: 2849 Messages: 9 Reviews: 30 Reviewed: 157 Avg Rating: -0.31
coldplay1989 (23272)
Registered: 2005-11-13 06:59:50 Hits: 2022 Messages: 5 Reviews: 10 Reviewed: 95 Avg Rating: -1.22
Its-All-Good (23285)
Registered: 2005-11-13 18:29:00 Hits: 885 Messages: 5 Reviews: 0 Reviewed: 49 Avg Rating: -0.94
maximus72 (23324)
Registered: 2005-11-15 08:45:44 Hits: 1164 Messages: 2 Reviews: 8 Reviewed: 39 Avg Rating: -1.48
fearandloathingnAFG (23348)
Registered: 2005-11-16 09:53:31 Hits: 1035 Messages: 5 Reviews: 11 Reviewed: 40 Avg Rating: 0.31
Short-n-Sweet (23354)
Registered: 2005-11-16 13:41:41 Hits: 720 Messages: 2 Reviews: 13 Reviewed: 44 Avg Rating: -1.43
marblefluss (23427)
Registered: 2005-11-18 23:05:09 Hits: 388 Messages: 2 Reviews: 5 Reviewed: 19 Avg Rating: 0.10
nate (23489)
Registered: 2005-11-22 08:29:25 Hits: 10565 Messages: 18 Reviews: 122 Reviewed: 516 Avg Rating: -0.46
HighVoltage900 (23501)
Registered: 2005-11-22 15:00:58 Hits: 3502 Messages: 9 Reviews: 440 Reviewed: 165 Avg Rating: 1.01
Cracked_out_cali (23538)
Registered: 2005-11-23 19:27:29 Hits: 12237 Messages: 14 Reviews: 69 Reviewed: 413 Avg Rating: 1.10
BeavisChrist (23557)
Registered: 2005-11-24 19:14:03 Hits: 1628 Messages: 4 Reviews: 35 Reviewed: 40 Avg Rating: -0.31
MistressFist (23615)
Registered: 2005-11-28 16:26:54 Hits: 8142 Messages: 10 Reviews: 286 Reviewed: 248 Avg Rating: 0.60
Gibbo (23652)
Registered: 2005-11-30 06:48:47 Hits: 537 Messages: 2 Reviews: 5 Reviewed: 24 Avg Rating: 0.94
IHaveAnAddictComplex (23680)
Registered: 2005-12-01 08:29:19 Hits: 1108 Messages: 2 Reviews: 9 Reviewed: 57 Avg Rating: -0.43
erosion_rules (23721)
Registered: 2005-12-02 21:18:07 Hits: 3134 Messages: 7 Reviews: 48 Reviewed: 155 Avg Rating: -0.27
pastetugui (23736)
Registered: 2005-12-04 02:28:59 Hits: 321 Messages: 1 Reviews: 3 Reviewed: 15 Avg Rating: 1.30
NewGuy08 (23771)
Registered: 2005-12-06 09:15:42 Hits: 1125 Messages: 2 Reviews: 105 Reviewed: 58 Avg Rating: -1.09
jesset (23774)
Registered: 2005-12-06 14:27:36 Hits: 3154 Messages: 5 Reviews: 29 Reviewed: 123 Avg Rating: -0.31
avolkert (23782)
Registered: 2005-12-06 21:53:32 Hits: 788 Messages: 3 Reviews: 11 Reviewed: 39 Avg Rating: 0.38
Hiram (23808)
Registered: 2005-12-08 03:08:53 Hits: 469 Messages: 2 Reviews: 3 Reviewed: 39 Avg Rating: -1.09
CaballoPalidoSOG (23814)
Registered: 2005-12-08 09:44:20 Hits: 128 Messages: 1 Reviews: 0 Reviewed: 5 Avg Rating: 1.25
kuzi16 (23884)
Registered: 2005-12-11 06:04:25 Hits: 651 Messages: 3 Reviews: 11 Reviewed: 35 Avg Rating: -0.25
PodmaPettit (23889)
Registered: 2005-12-11 14:05:27 Hits: 395 Messages: 1 Reviews: 0 Reviewed: 8 Avg Rating: -1.00
newgreenyou (23900)
Registered: 2005-12-11 23:35:26 Hits: 309 Messages: 1 Reviews: 3 Reviewed: 11 Avg Rating: 1.09
jagmcmanus (23902)
Registered: 2005-12-12 01:17:32 Hits: 401 Messages: 1 Reviews: 15 Reviewed: 23 Avg Rating: -1.40
Ambeon (23924)
Registered: 2005-12-12 22:36:09 Hits: 223 Messages: 1 Reviews: 1 Reviewed: 16 Avg Rating: -0.06
TNBates (23931)
Registered: 2005-12-13 09:42:07 Hits: 227 Messages: 1 Reviews: 0 Reviewed: 15 Avg Rating: -0.03
buttonpusher (23944)
Registered: 2005-12-13 16:57:26 Hits: 345 Messages: 2 Reviews: 6 Reviewed: 30 Avg Rating: -0.07
Sergio (23951)
Registered: 2005-12-13 19:15:55 Hits: 136 Messages: 1 Reviews: 1 Reviewed: 17 Avg Rating: -1.11
Donnefan (23957)
Registered: 2005-12-13 23:25:10 Hits: 157 Messages: 1 Reviews: 0 Reviewed: 6 Avg Rating: 1.16
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:29:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I get to be Stonewall Jackson...General Method, permission to open fire on these fools!
Enslaving n00bs is central to our Southern way of life, I say RESIST them Sirrah, RESIST!
Next thing you know, they'll be giving darkies the vote and adding a +3 button - THIS MUST NOT STAND!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:29:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Method founded The Crips, and he lures children into his gingerbread house.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:28:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why are potheads such good writers? Maybe I should start hitting the pipe.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:26:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to string both of you up by the toes and tickle you to death.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-14 15:25:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what's an alter?