Ugly people have to wait too (1098 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.78 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (View user info) at 2005-12-15 01:03:37 EST
Tonight, I got off work with a fierce hunger so I went straight to the grocery store immediately afterwards.
After strolling around with my "Cooking with Beer" book (excellent buy if you really just want one more excuse to add beer to your diet,) I decided on Chicken Vera Cruz
As I made my way up to the registers, I noticed they only had one lane open and the cashier maning it was not exactly going at top speed. I was 20' (6m) out when a woman with about 40 items pulled in. Now I could have asked her if I could cut in line because I only had an arm-full of things but I decided to be patient and wait.
As I was waiting, a store employee got in line behind me and we started shooting the shit about football. As we're talking, a woman comes into the store and briskly walks right behind the cashier.
She was in her early 50s, short, and altogther repulsive to the eye. Years of self abuse were evident from her sunken eyes, crows feet all over her face, and basicaly disheveled appearance.
Without even waiting for the employees attention, she asked loudly (and proudly) "Where are the condoms?"
I shot a glance at the employee behind me and I could see he shared my disgust for this creature.
The cashier gives her the aisle number and resumed her task at hand. As I continue to wait, The guy behind me comments on what kind of guy would fuck that wilderbeast and we both have a good chuckle.
Right when the customer is wrapping up in front of me, the nasty hag returns with her condoms and a bottle of wine. She decided she couldn't wait and asked the employee in front of her (in the same smug tone as earlier) "I've only got these trojans, can I skip you."
Now normally, I'm the nicest guy in the world and I love to chat it up with strangers, but if I'm hungry or need a cigarette, stay the fuck out of my way. So when this 'thing' came up to me and asked me the same question, I politely replied "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to say no. You have 'trojans' AND wine so I'm going to have to disqualify you on principal alone."
With a look of disgust she mumbles to herself and all I can make out is "He's gonna lose it"
"I haven't lost anything, I just think you're unfimiliar with the concept of waiting in line."
She retorts "Yes he is gonna lose it because I have to wait."
Thats when it occured to me that she was talking about the erection of the poor sap who was going to screw her.
Nausea isn't a strong enough word to describe the feeling that overwhelmed me. As the cashier handed my change to me, I gave the 'thing' one more good look over as she scowled at me. I then said the first thing that came to my mind.
"Lady, if that guy had any brains at all he's already cruised down to New Town and gotten himself a better lookin hooker."
The look on her face after I said that was simply amazing. If I could have just whipped out a camera right at that point I could have died a happy man. Instead, I walked out to the screams of fuck you asshole and the laughter of the dude behing me.
Seriously though, she was nastier then this chick
User Reviews
Submitted by psychabillyjean (user info) at 2005-12-28 10:21:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha he has e.d.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-28 10:02:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:48:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2005-12-15 14:32:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:28:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
New town? You live in Tampa?
.................................................
No no, New Town is that lovely piece of real estate between sarasota and manatee countys from US-41 to about lockwood ridge Rd.
That park at the corner of MLK and US-41 is like the epicenter of New Town
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Shit, that's right. I forgot you wrote my gmail account, I never check the damn thing. Anyway, yes, I had a little brain fart right there. I was thinking of College Hill up in Tampa for some reason.
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2005-12-15 14:32:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:28:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
New town? You live in Tampa?
.................................................
No no, New Town is that lovely piece of real estate between sarasota and manatee countys from US-41 to about lockwood ridge Rd.
That park at the corner of MLK and US-41 is like the epicenter of New Town
Submitted by LilBastard (user info) at 2005-12-15 14:21:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No way. I'd suggest a plastic bag.
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Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-12-15 10:10:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Paperbag job by the look of it
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-12-15 14:20:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:41:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That woman is called the Lion Lady or Cat Woman or sommat. I saw her on Maury a few years ago. She's not a burn victim or anything touching like that, she's just a rich bitch who became addicted to plastic surgery, and that's the way she turned out after something like 7 consecutive facelifts.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:33:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:28:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
New town? You live in Tampa?
Submitted by stuckfix (user info) at 2005-12-15 10:57:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good. Next time, though, follow her home and if there is actually a dude there, make fun of him.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-12-15 10:10:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Paperbag job by the look of it
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:56:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:39:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yeah, you TELL that unattractive woman who dared to use a "tone" when she ASKED YOU A QUESTION GODAMN HER TO HELL. Fucking cow, daring to be ugly and asking people for favors. She deserves to be called out in public for the piece of shit she is.
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Lol I'd give that comment a +2. Funny story.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:50:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd hit that
what? you thought there was more
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:46:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:45:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A classic.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It's Wildenstein or something like that. Horrible woman.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:39:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:39:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yeah, you TELL that unattractive woman who dared to use a "tone" when she ASKED YOU A QUESTION GODAMN HER TO HELL. Fucking cow, daring to be ugly and asking people for favors. She deserves to be called out in public for the piece of shit she is.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:12:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:54:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some people have no manners.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:44:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Who is that bird, I've seen her on TV before?
...and a wet dream, but that's a different story.
Submitted by Stuch (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:23:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shoulda just given her a good cunt punt.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
That was a great way to start off my Thursday. Thanks!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:47:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't that a picture of a burn victim after reconstructive surgery? If it is then they've actually done an amazing job. Cosmetic surgery really has come so far since WW2.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:38:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<shudder>
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:11:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Closer to a +1.5, but I'll round it up to a 2.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-12-15 06:48:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NOTHING is uglier than that chick.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-12-15 06:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
great post
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 05:44:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So you actually did this did you? That does make you a shit heel you understand? You pissed all over this womans moment of happiness, her one moment to feel special and loved.
You'd have been better off smashing her to the ground and kicking a brick up her cunt.
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2005-12-15 05:36:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
did you say any of that or wish you'd said it
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2005-12-15 02:32:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 mean bastards
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-12-15 01:45:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-15 01:33:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
heh
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-12-15 01:18:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
alright, make that a 1.5
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2005-12-15 01:12:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-12-15 01:10:16 (#)
Ranking: 1
You are such a liar. Not that it matters. I lie in every post I make.
..................................................
Dude I shit you not. I honestly didn't know I had it in me but this bitch just had a way about her that made you want to go out of your way to insult her
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-12-15 01:11:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Theres a face only a blind man would want to fuck.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-12-15 01:10:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You are such a liar. Not that it matters. I lie in every post I make.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-12-15 01:09:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
no seriously, i'm fucked up,
and i'm not reading all that.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-12-15 01:08:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
WTF, i'm not reading all that.