B to tha erty!............juss another tribute post. (953 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.63 on 47 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MavisMing (Barnymeinhoff inc.) (View user info) at 2005-12-15 06:46:45 EST
It just occured to me as I was wading through the pitifull rantings that count as content on this site that one man above all else can make me crack a gin all regular like, other than the fact that he can often comes accross like an emo kid in dress and despite the adversity of bein born with all crippy legs and shit he is one funny guy.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 05:44:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
So you actually did this did you? That does make you a shit heel you understand? You pissed all over this womans moment of happiness, her one moment to feel special and loved.
You'd have been better off smashing her to the ground and kicking a brick up her cunt.
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Fuckin genius,
Berty, We sallute you.
User Reviews
Submitted by MavisMing (user info) at 2006-01-09 06:01:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We are Barnymeinhoff....love we.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-01-07 09:44:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ohhh I get it. you're barnymeinhoff.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-01-06 07:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Niiiice one Bertaaaay
Submitted by MisterBadger (user info) at 2006-01-06 06:34:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fat Davros +2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-16 13:30:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-15 19:10:39 (#)
Ranking: 1
Berty - The Compassionate Paedophile®
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Well, Iat least that's better than village idiot.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-16 13:29:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MY SISTER IS MARRIED?
The cunt didn't even invite me!
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Right you are.
*makes note in scrapbook*
eh heh heh heh ah hah ha ha ha AHAHAHAHA BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAA!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-15 19:10:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Berty - The Compassionate Paedophile®
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-15 18:09:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because i heart berty.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-15 15:51:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Circe would make a great sex ed teacher
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-12-15 15:45:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
aha. ok.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-15 12:44:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:09:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
berty is nowt more than a piffling trifle of a man.
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It's true, but I have a bumper sticker that say's "The little engine that could" on the back of my electric wheelchair.
Incidently, you could have mentioned that your sister is married you bastard! When I showed up on my doorstep with my cock out and a sign that read 'A special person for a special ladie', her husband lathered the shite out of me with a tennis racket! """
MY SISTER IS MARRIED?
The cunt didn't even invite me!
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2005-12-15 12:35:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
just proof that Dorothy Parker used to get drunk and fuck Englishmen
in her spare time... aphoristic bastard.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:30:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:14:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty- Let it be known that you also have fans in the rarely-posting, Uber noob/lurker demographic. So many of your comments make me laugh out loud and/or have the theoretical ability to charm my panties off with your sometimes awkward boyishness. Maybe I shall start an 'American women for Berty' fan club.
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And she wore those fishnet stockings,
And she wore those fishnet stockings,
And she wore those fishnet stockings,
And stiletos on her feet.
And I asked her why she wore those stockings,
And stiletos on her feet,
She said it's for my client and his dodgy Berty meat!
Berty's meat, Berty's meat!
He's a dirty brummy pervert,
With dodgy Berty meat!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-12-15 11:14:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty- Let it be known that you also have fans in the rarely-posting, Uber noob/lurker demographic. So many of your comments make me laugh out loud and/or have the theoretical ability to charm my panties off with your sometimes awkward boyishness. Maybe I shall start an 'American women for Berty' fan club.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-12-15 10:20:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a girl, HighVoltage. We don't need to have buttsex, Berty can, theoretically, simply place his phallus inside my no-no place. I don't know how clearly this has been explained to you but... alright. See there are these birds, over here. And here we have some bees, right? Look, I'll draw them, where's the yellow crayon, honestly, I think someone's been eating them, right, anyway, here's the bees. So we have the birds and the bees and... you know, I have no idea how this works.
Right, there's flowers, and the bees.. go to lots and lots and lots of flowers and knock them up. And the birds eat.. the bees... and, uh. Hmmm. Once the knocked up flowers make seeds, the birds eat those, too, and then.. you know, they crap them out and make new flowers.
So always bring flowers on a date because all sex is about them.
(This babbling brought to you by my inability to deal wih compliments beyond a sort of nervous giggle and this weird kind of foot-shuffling thing.)
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-15 10:09:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:50:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
I just done been messing with you, Berty.... I adore you really. But saying it makes me sound all cissyfied and girly.
So I hide my tender emotions behind a facade of remote bitchiness. Really, it's a defense mechanism to protect my gentle poet's sould from the pain of dealin with the rejection of those I idolize.
The inkblots said so.
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It's nice to hear you say that.
You know, you where the reason I hung to Ubersite. DeathJester showed me the website but when I read you're stuff it really touched me; nothing specific really, just who you are amd how it shone through your writing.
I wanted to earn your respect. I figured that it'd mean something for me if you did, that I really hadn't just made a load of mistakes you know?
There where other's, many others, that also awed me but you where the first.
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Guys guys get a room. And some KY jelly. And did anyone mention Y Halo thar buttsects?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:54:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And yet, and yet, we like the man who so cruelly abuses were/where.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:50:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just done been messing with you, Berty.... I adore you really. But saying it makes me sound all cissyfied and girly.
So I hide my tender emotions behind a facade of remote bitchiness. Really, it's a defense mechanism to protect my gentle poet's sould from the pain of dealin with the rejection of those I idolize.
The inkblots said so.
---------------------------
It's nice to hear you say that.
You know, you where the reason I hung to Ubersite. DeathJester showed me the website but when I read you're stuff it really touched me; nothing specific really, just who you are amd how it shone through your writing.
I wanted to earn your respect. I figured that it'd mean something for me if you did, that I really hadn't just made a load of mistakes you know?
There where other's, many others, that also awed me but you where the first.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:30:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Watching Berty moonwalk is an experience.
And whenever he is confronted he eulogises the Karate Kid by lifting one of his atrophied legs into the air via a piece of string which he keeps tied to his toe for this very purpose. Once his leg is raised he grips the string between his teeth, and then flaps his ahnds about, crane kick style.
Berty San, we salute you.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:27:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:19:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:10:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty, you've been here for a year already?
That's unbelievable. Time just flies when you're trying to avoid somebody because they say weird things and creep you out, doesn't it?
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I had no idea I made you uncomfortable. I apologise.
_________
I just done been messing with you, Berty.... I adore you really. But saying it makes me sound all cissyfied and girly.
So I hide my tender emotions behind a facade of remote bitchiness. Really, it's a defense mechanism to protect my gentle poet's sould from the pain of dealin with the rejection of those I idolize.
The inkblots said so.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:21:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:10:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:09:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
BERTY SUCKS COCK FOR ROCK.
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SPAM SUCKS COCK FOR POCK.
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BERTY FUCKS THE ROCK FOR SOCKS
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:10:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:09:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
BERTY SUCKS COCK FOR ROCK.
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SPAM SUCKS COCK FOR POCK.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:09:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
berty is nowt more than a piffling trifle of a man.
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It's true, but I have a bumper sticker that say's "The little engine that could" on the back of my electric wheelchair.
Incidently, you could have mentioned that your sister is married you bastard! When I showed up on my doorstep with my cock out and a sign that read 'A special person for a special ladie', her husband lathered the shite out of me with a tennis racket!
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:09:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BERTY SUCKS COCK FOR ROCK.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:03:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
pah!
berty is nowt more than a piffling trifle of a man.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:59:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 Berty
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:31:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also there is no snow due in Birmingham till February. I could piss in the freezer but it probably won't be the same.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:30:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, all you have to do is write "-2DIE" or "STFU N00B" in the snow with your pee and take a picture, and that'll get ya +2 satisfaction for a while.
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Who on earth would have enough wee, let alone the accuracy, to write all that?
Be good exercise for you peenar muscles though, what with stopping yourself all the time.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:25:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:13:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:07:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
you know we are halfway though december and not a berty post in sight.
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I'm not a machine you know. There's no lever on Berty you can crank to make gold come out of his fingers, he has no pump to spatter genius onto the page.
To be quite honest I've had a few ideas to post but I've been too ashamed to post them. I'm going to be off work all of next week though so I'll probably think of something.
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You know, all you have to do is write "-2DIE" or "STFU N00B" in the snow with your pee and take a picture, and that'll get ya +2 satisfaction for a while.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:23:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love him too. Yayyy raaa raaa for Berty.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:18:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-15 04:23:36 (#)
Ranking: -1
my left ear is infected.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--======--=
That's scary that is, mine's deformed.
Rad is the Giga-Berty. Or Berty is Mini-Rad.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:13:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:07:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
you know we are halfway though december and not a berty post in sight.
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I'm not a machine you know. There's no lever on Berty you can crank to make gold come out of his fingers, he has no pump to spatter genius onto the page.
To be quite honest I've had a few ideas to post but I've been too ashamed to post them. I'm going to be off work all of next week though so I'll probably think of something.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:07:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you know we are halfway though december and not a berty post in sight.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:01:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:53:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Although I am only "Uber's village idiot" to quote Johnny X, a walking talking cartoon with no face. Or legs. And spasticated flid arms.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:51:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:46:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
For a tribute post, the content was pitifully sparse
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It's true, he left out my fantastic joke I made yesterday. It had a reference to Rupert Murdock, the A-Team and and and the American education wossname.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:46:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
For a tribute post, the content was pitifully sparse.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:39:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:34:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty's good people. I'd take him to Druthers and buy him an Andy Dandy meal if I could.
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Free food is good. If you pay for the plane ticket (Or even better, have your own plane) then I'd love to come and enchant you with my dazzling shyness.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:38:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:29:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Damnit Berty don't ignore me, I want this over with.
Be Helen Hunt, I'll be Tom Hanks...I want you running down the driveway to stop me before I drive off. We'll share a kiss and your titilated, rain soaked breasts will heave forth and conquer me.
Please.
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Alright but your daughter has to hold my hand while we do it.
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:34:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty's good people. I'd take him to Druthers and buy him an Andy Dandy meal if I could.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:29:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damnit Berty don't ignore me, I want this over with.
Be Helen Hunt, I'll be Tom Hanks...I want you running down the driveway to stop me before I drive off. We'll share a kiss and your titilated, rain soaked breasts will heave forth and conquer me.
Please.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:19:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:10:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty, you've been here for a year already?
That's unbelievable. Time just flies when you're trying to avoid somebody because they say weird things and creep you out, doesn't it?
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I had no idea I made you uncomfortable. I apologise.
Incidently, you are the very definition of the perfect woman.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:16:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well said Mr B Meinhoff
Old alexi is the nicest bloke i've ever had the fortune to share a bed with ( I Will highlight this until somebody notices!!)
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:10:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty, you've been here for a year already?
That's unbelievable. Time just flies when you're trying to avoid somebody because they say weird things and creep you out, doesn't it?
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:07:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh sweet Berty. How dreadful it was when your body was dismembered. You will be missed.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-15 07:03:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Barney, thanks for doing this so I didn't have to.
Berty, lets bury the hatchet old chum, I do love you so.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 06:48:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's important to remember I don't need glasses. I'm long sighted a bit and blind in one eye but I'll be damned if I'm going to be totally reliant on machines. I swear to God the day I start wearing glasses I may as well climb into an iron lung and be done with it.