Dalek Girl (SPT) (686 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.16 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Quale (View user info) at 2005-12-15 08:19:06 EST
University is probably the best place to meet new people. When I say meet, it's more like sleep but you get the picture. Finding them is rarely difficult, there is so much social interaction, it's almost impossible not to uncover a gem of a girl (or guy if that's your preference). Smoky clubs are probably the best place for the horny student, perhaps even the crappy bar in the halls of residence, you may even find lust on your course of study.
Not so for one girl, who has been not so affectionately named, Dalek Girl. She studies Chemistry, like me, which is how I met her. Now, the girls in Chemistry are a bit of gamble, fit:ugly ratio about 50:50 and this specimen was definitely in the latter. Nowhere near as bountiful as the ones in Biology but far superior to the ones in Physics. Ok, that's a bit of an esoteric sentence but it's generally true. Those chicks studying about life and therefore sex are hot, those studying magnetic waves and gravity are most definitely not.
Anyway, back to Dalek Girl. She's about 5' 3", wears pretty crappy glasses, long brown hair down to her huge ass and dresses like a 40 year old hippy. She's into her D&D but not as much as her Dr. Who. She's a massive, massive fan. Go figure, huh?
In October 2002, it was my first doing Chemistry and, unfortunately it was her first year a well. Fate had decided that we'd been in the same lab group together, forcing me into eventual conversation with her.
Me: So what's the best way to do graduated dilution?
DG: What did you think of Tom Baker?
Me: Who?
DG: You know, the new Dr. Who.
Me: Sorry, I don't watch it.
DG: Really? I thought everyone watched Dr. Who.
I looked at her properly for the first time after hearing this sentence. Later, when people said she hit every branch of the ugly tree, she had somehow burrowed down and got the roots as well. In this world, the lucky girls have looks and personality, most girls have limited resources of one or the other. This one, had neither. Thankfully, her safety specs covered most of her face at the time so I didn't have to concentrate as much on it. Realising I was staring, she must've taken that as a sign of affection and drew herself up to her full horizontal height. With her lab coat swelling she continued the conversation.
DG: The Daleks are the best though.
Me: That's nice.
DG (getting visibly excited): The sounds they make are the best!
Brain: Brace yourself, just smile and nod.
DG (mimicking a Dalek): X-ter-min-ate! X-ter-min-ate!
Me: Ha...ha.
DG (giggles like a walrus): Isn't that the best? The way they can fly over stairs and everything. Even Colin Baker had trouble with them you know, he was the sixth doctor, my favourite. You know I've never kissed a guy before.
So I nearly vomited at this point. Right in her hippo-like face. I'm not the best looking of blokes and, not blowing any trumpets, but on a scale between Humphrey Bogart and the Elephant Man, I'm just slightly edging on the better looking side. Right now though, she's waiting for a response.
Me: (walks in the opposite direction)
I didn't even give her one. I just left. The way I see it, if she's got it into her head I'm interested in her, who am I to tell her she's misguided? She'd get the idea soon enough, right? Right?!?
That Christmas I got a Dalek card. Dalek Girl, Ugly is your middle name.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-15 19:17:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
YOUR
PENOS
WILL
BE
ASSIMILATED
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-15 16:01:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
just turn off the lights and they all look the same, until you try and put your arms around big bertha
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-12-15 15:47:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I got the whole "she's not a supermodel" thing the first time you described her glasses and baggy clothes. You didn't have to repeat the description three times and then follow it up by talking about how modestly hot you are in comparison.
It's pretty obvious that this was an exageration/complete lie, which begs the question why you didn't do a better job. What are the first details thing that pop into your mind when I tell you I met a girl who's into role playing or Doctor Who?
1. Glasses.
2. Baggy clothes.
3. Poor social skills.
4. Desperate.
You're batting 4 for 4 so far. Next time make her hot, but give her a lisp or really bad teeth. Or if you're going to make her ugly, go out on a date with her, and find out she's really good in the sack.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2005-12-15 12:46:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ugly girls need loving too.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-15 10:01:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll put you in the black for the pic.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:49:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:40:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You should get throat cancer, then you could get one of those voice thingies then you could sound like a Dalek. Better than her. That'd show her.
Paint your wellies silver too.
Submitted by Spacey (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:17:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tom Baker is cool though, I met him when I was working in Marks and Sparks many years ago.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Quale (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:58:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
small detail. the rest is true.
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You should have fucked her and made her pregnant, then she'd have something to love.
Submitted by Quale (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:58:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
small detail. the rest is true.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:44:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tom Baker isn't the newest Dr Who. He was back in the Seventies. I call shenanigans.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:37:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Poor little bugger. Some people just haven't got a chance have they?
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:30:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
'girls in Chemistry are a bit of gamble, fit:ugly ratio about 50:50'
??!!
Dude, you are one lucky chemist. I managed to stick out two years of a Chemistry masters before laming out and changing to English and in my experience, fit:ugly was more like 20:80. Maybe I'm just pickier then you, but this was even at a university with an unnaturally high proportion of rich blonde totty.
Count your blessings and if you really want rid of Dalek Girl, then you have access to enough chemicals to give her a couple of weeks (months..?) off lab, during which you can sidle up to the nearest hottie.
Submitted by Stuch (user info) at 2005-12-15 08:28:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I found lust on my course of study, I think I got a little luckier than yourself.
Bet DG is a demon in the sack.