Adventures in spinal laminectomy and excisions of lumbar mass (981 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.94 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by yewslus (View user info) at 2005-12-17 11:47:23 EST
< Not a 'woe is me' post, just needed to vent a bit >
Hey Uber, what's goin' on lately?
Yeah... your mom, too...
Never realized how hard it is to type anything when you're lying flat on your back with the keyboard on your lap. It's not very fun.
For those of you who didn't know (which means 99.999% of you), I underwent spinal surgery on Wednesday the 7th to have a 'synovial cyst' removed from my lumbar spine. If you don't know what that means, either look on WebMD or ask someone smarter than you, like Method or someone of his intellectual caliber. Basically, this cyst formed from the sac that encases my nerve roots down my spine and out to different parts of my body. The cyst was actually IN my spinal canal, taking up space and compacting the area that the rest of my nerves are supposed to run through. Painful, but not agonizing. Doc told me beforehand that I would need surgery when my legs started to feel tingly or if I lost any sensation; this would mean that the cyst was pushing against the nerves too hard and cutting off feeling. I decided NOT to wait for that point and have this thing removed before it could get that bad.
Fast-forward to two days after surgery. I start getting INTENSE pains shooting down my right leg. Doc thought it was just some inflammation on my coccyx that was pissing off the nerves down there. To me, it felt like I had just spent a week in County. The pain would stop me dead in my tracks, and I couldn't do so much as take a full breath until it subsided.
Fast-forward another few days, to Thursday. I was still having the pains, and they were constantly getting worse. Doc orders another MRI to see what's going on. That's when he sees that THE CYST IS NOT GONE. In fact, because he had to cut some of the bone off of one of my vertabrae during surgery (in order to access the cyst inside the spinal cavity), the cyst decided post-op that it liked this new little hole to the outside of my spine. So it did what any smart, fun-loving cyst would do; it grew outside of the spinal cavity.
Now I have a cyst in my spine, and the same cyst OUTSIDE my spine, formed under the layer of muscle that covers my back. The cyst has also DOUBLED in size.
Score:
Cyst - 2
Mike - 0
So, as I sit here writing this, my current supply of Vicodin and Percocet running low, I get to look forward to ANOTHER surgery on Monday morning to try to get this fucker out once and for all. This means that not only will they have to reopen the incision they originally made, but they will have to extend said incision down my spine, effectively DOUBLING the size of the wound, the recovery time, the pain...
I'll save my insurance coverage nightmares, my thoughts on malpractice, and my apple juice sippee box incidents for another post.
For now, here's a pic of the original wound, taken after I woke up in the hospital last Wednesday. Keep all hairy back and Fruit of the Loom comments to yourselves, fuckers...
User Reviews
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-19 07:31:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You think thats bad? In my day I have a vietcong who got lodged inside one of my larger chest wounds I recieved from charlie! That little bugger kept trying to get out of my chest cavity and I kept tellin the doc it kinda hurt, and he told me to skate it off. Needless to say, when I got the 5'2 man out of my chest through a series of bowel movements I don't care to describe, he was a little worse for wear.
Sorry about how sucky your holidays are going to be, hope you get better.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-19 06:24:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ouch.
I hope you enjoy crapping into a bowl in your bed 'cause it doesn't look like you'll be getting up any time soon.
I managed to hold it for 4 full days of bed rest. Possibly my proudest achievment yet.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-19 06:22:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that sucks dude. hope you feel better.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-12-17 13:16:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
you want to hear about grief?..not only do i know about this, but i consider myself an expert on the subject since i was a recipient on a new type of surgery
i even have a post i've cached for over six months but i still haven't decided whether or not to release it
my post trailer:
back shooter/front page above the fold/retired me/small piece of property was bought for my future/ 1.2 million $ operation/coral 'parts'/cadiver 'parts'/2 ribs lost/3 lumbars lost/1+"'s lost/infection/PAIN/morphine machine/PAIN/begs to be put down/coma/PAIN/grown man cries for a week straight/PAIN/air mattress/2' scar/dreams that make Chainsaw Massacre look like a love story/stay Only on your back/don't move except squeeze your ass like you're trying to pick up a dime off the air mattress underneath you/PAIN that i would not wish on my worst enemy....
AND!!!!!! the motherfucking sadistic bastard technician who would come into my room every other day for 4 months with that portable X-Ray machine, make me rise up out of bed (black-out odds: even $) to take a 'picture' to make sure everything was staying in place.........and........
my own semi-private Bible Story.........any takers?
jd
-========================================
so what did you hvae done? a 4 level corpectomy? or was it just a fixation to correct a deformity?
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-12-18 03:13:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
medical malpractice anyone?
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2005-12-18 02:28:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel for you, allow me to linkwhore http://www.ubersite.com/m/81126
Obviously my dilemma is not of the same calibre as yours but the doctors said the wombat that attacked me could have ripped my cocyx, which would have been fun.
I have had a bone marrow biopsy, lumbar puncture (just like u taste of monkeys) and my old man had similar back problem to you NOT FUN, hope you don't get bed sores or a blood clot as this happened to me because I was lying down to much after operations. That is why I am laughing at my latest accident (getting mauled in the ass by a wombat) as I can totally see the funny side of it and I am used to the pain and awkward things you need to do post op.
good luck
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-12-17 23:45:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All I can say is DAMN THATS GOTTA HURT!
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-12-17 20:30:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck man.
Chicks dig scars or so I've heard. My immense gut appears to put them off.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77852
-Dave
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-17 19:08:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Joedaddy, post your story.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-17 19:05:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My old lady had hip replacement surgery this Summer. Three of them.
She got infected after the first two, so I raised holy hell after
the third, telling them she was NOT going home in six days. They
kept her 16 days the last time, pumped full of Vancomycin and
shitloads of morphine. They told us at day nine that everything
looked good, so I said fine, keep her another week.
Hope your second surgery goes well.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-12-17 17:57:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-12-17 14:18:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the comments, JD...
Helps me keep things in perspective.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-12-17 13:16:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you want to hear about grief?..not only do i know about this, but i consider myself an expert on the subject since i was a recipient on a new type of surgery
i even have a post i've cached for over six months but i still haven't decided whether or not to release it
my post trailer:
back shooter/front page above the fold/retired me/small piece of property was bought for my future/ 1.2 million $ operation/coral 'parts'/cadiver 'parts'/2 ribs lost/3 lumbars lost/1+"'s lost/infection/PAIN/morphine machine/PAIN/begs to be put down/coma/PAIN/grown man cries for a week straight/PAIN/air mattress/2' scar/dreams that make Chainsaw Massacre look like a love story/stay Only on your back/don't move except squeeze your ass like you're trying to pick up a dime off the air mattress underneath you/PAIN that i would not wish on my worst enemy....
AND!!!!!! the motherfucking sadistic bastard technician who would come into my room every other day for 4 months with that portable X-Ray machine, make me rise up out of bed (black-out odds: even $) to take a 'picture' to make sure everything was staying in place.........and........
my own semi-private Bible Story.........any takers?
jd
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-12-17 12:42:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow, sympathies dude, I had to have a lumber puncture AND bone marrow sucked from my bones a few months ago and having shit done to your spine is teh terror!
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-12-17 12:32:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
They won't have to drain anything. they will just remove it, patch up the membrane of the sac, and close me back up.
If this doesn't work, I will probably need a shunt (tube) going from the cyst to my stomach, allowing it to constantly drain.
Then I would also need a damn good lawyer and some SPF 30.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-12-17 12:26:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh sac
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-17 12:21:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
skate it off
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-17 12:14:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, that's awesome. Not awesome in a "Haha, you're all injured and stuff" sort of way, but just the... I don't know. I think I have a strange fascination with medical procedures.
My sister had laproscopic surgery on her knee yesterday, and they have pictures of inside of her knee. Needless to say, they rock. The surgery was to remove a clump of tissue that was growing somewhere it shouldn't have been. In one of the 'Before' pictures, it looks like there's a large dust bunny inside of her joint.
She doesn't seem to find this as amusing as I do.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2005-12-17 12:14:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ouch.
happy holidays to you.
hang in there.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-12-17 12:09:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
are they going to leave the wound open, pack it, and let it drain, or are they going to close again?
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-12-17 12:06:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmmm, steri strips
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-12-17 11:58:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
poor bugger. Good luck.