a step at a time - first post (683 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: fiction
Rating: 1.35 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by scourgeoftheseas (View user info) at 2005-12-19 10:47:58 EST
Thom and Arlen looked to the north, the densely forested foothills, rolling up into the cold mountains.
They didn't waste much time enjoying the scenery. The need to set camp for the night was apparent due to the temperature and the rising wind.
Their movements were methodical, calculated. Start with the first step and move to the next. Always follow method and get the job done.
The range loomed large, they were supposed to be the largest on the planet, though it was hard to know what was true anymore. Knowledge had suffered a serious setback after the last major war.
Even the oldest among those still living on the side of the Government had trouble recalling a lot about this piece of the world.
Hanging overhead, larger than the mountains, were dark and roiling cloudbanks. The helicopters that had dropped off the men and their supplies were fast headed in the opposite direction of the approaching storm head. Pregnant and ready to deliver the bastard winter on top of their heads, the sight of the clouds made Thom question the wisdom of his decision to join the military.
Why had they spared the fuel of not one, but two helicopters to send the two of them out in the middle of nowhere?
As Thom wondered, a howling echoed from the distant mountain and reverberated down through the foothills.
"Why the hell did we get sent here? I thought we were intelligence, first line defense, hold the line and all that? The training I've been through and they're going to send me out into the middle of nowhere?"
"That's right. You fucking know it's right. Why do you ask me questions and then answer them yourself? I'm about as happy to be here as you. Probably less. I've got a daughter at home, a wife. You, you're a kid, never been out of the damn city..."
As they talked, Arlen walked over to the two tarpaulin covered mounds left by the helicopters, Thom following closely. The two olive green bundles were in the middle of a clear space with a perimeter described by a...what seemed like a moat. A narrow trench, maybe five or six feet deep surrounding the hundred foot square camp.
Under the first tarp was the aluminum walled shelter that the two men would call home for at least the next year, stocked with all the food and necessities they would need to survive.
The second was the one that held mystery for Thom in it's presence.
As they uncovered the pile of telescoping metal posts and machined ceramic nodules, each one holding a small piece of polished stone, Thom's confusion wasn't alleviated, but he kept unpacking.
The military drilled the point home. One step at a time. Follow method, follow routine, get the job done.
"Arlen, that's the point. I'm not complaining.
I joined out of secondary. I scored high on the aptitudes, went through the necessary training and was told to report to Central a week ago. I was told I was going frontline with the great Arlen Howell. You met me yesterday, here we are...this is my first post.
A little background would be helpful here. I'm lost..."
"What you're telling me is I was sent out front with a fucking babe? No shit? You're going to have to climb a steep learning curve my man. And quick.", as he laughed at his fortune, Arlen began to unravel the straps holding the tarp in place
As his laughter was caught by the rising wind and thrown to the foothills, the howls and screeches started anew, louder and closer than before.
As he quickly started unloading the pile in front of him Arlen kept an eye on the foothills and the approaching storm. The first thing he grabbed off the mound was a small box with a handle protruding from either side and with a darkened lens on the tapered end.
"This is your best friend. This machine dictates life or death for you when you're out here. It's called a stone level.
Those posts describe a perimeter around our camp, once they're set, that is impenetrable to someone without a scrambler..."
"Listen, Arlen, I know what a stone level is. Never seen one though. When the posts are set, we position the level, it makes a magnetic connection with the posts, and an electric barrier is set. Anyone without a scrambler is unable to enter.
I'm not sure what your point is. The resistance knows how to put together a piece of metal and quartz, run the right frequencies through it to upset the level. This thing can't save shit...it's outdated and they're expensive to boot. A waste of military budget."
"One step at a time, friend. How did the resistance start the battle in this sector?"
"Once they realized that our weapons were superior? They started it the same way they start every offensive. Scorched earth. They took what they needed and burnt the rest, killed off the remaining livestock.
It's a futile effort, though. Everything we need for sustenance is in that bunker. We can pack in a month, two months worth of supplies easy.
With the biological engineering we can survive without food or water for months in any circumstance regardless...we'd be uncomfortable, but we'd be alright. Soon they'll engineer hunger and pain out as well."
"Can we survive against an army of thousands? Just you and I? Could we win?"
"Of course not. But the resistance doesn't have that many warriors. Their entire army consists of thousands; this front has maybe a hundred men tops. That's a pretty liberal estimation, too. With the supplies at our disposal, shortage of fuel and munitions notwithstanding, we could take them out easy."
"You know they don't kill the companion animals, right? In the scorched earth policy."
"So what? Dogs can fend for themselves. The fools let them go after expending their resources experimenting on them, the progress the Government has made with us, they put it into hounds...That's what I heard. Into dogs.
Their love of the natural world. The balance of life. Ha! Sentimentalists, idiots, every one. Trying to save the world. Trying to ensure that life forms would stay to repopulate, except human life wasn't on their list.
Then they released them when the military came into the region. Fools.
Our side has it right. Engineer what we need to survive, to thrive. Let the unnecessary pass away."
The storm head had reached the deceivingly distant ridge. As the clouds rolled over one another, pushing forward, like a herd of animals the front runners trampled by the ones that followed, the tallest peak grabbed the edge of the cloud, ripping it open.
"You heard right my friend.
You're hearing right, too. They poured the resources into animals. Not just dogs, cats and birds too. We're not sure what else.
After the crops and livestock they poison the waters and start the extermination, the gassing of wildlife."
The animal noise from the foothills had grown closer along with nightfall and the arrival of the snowstorm.
"Where are you going with this?"
"Thom, a step at a time my new young friend. You said it yourself. We'd be uncomfortable. How uncomfortable do you think those animals are? No food, no potable water for over a month now.
They breed as well, you know. The engineering carries over into the offspring when you tamper with the organism at the sub-cellular level. It's part of the gene code now, an inheritable trait. They've been breeding, creating more of themselves.
They can't die, not quickly enough to stop the next generations from being produced anyhow. They don't know why they suffer, but they do recognize the hunger, the pain. They'll look for a way to alleviate it. They want food."
An army in it's own right. Thousands of them.
The unintelligent army started the cacophony anew once the sun hit the western horizon, the noise sounding from within the foothills rather than the more distant mountains now.
As he saw the understanding dawn in Thom's eyes, Arlen said it once more, "A step at a time my friend. Or a post at a time if you want to make it through the night. A post at a time. Start with the first one...."
Thom grabbed up the stone level and the first post, heading to the perimeter, just as the first snowflakes started to fall out of the steel gray sky, slowly circling down, dancing, almost in time with the howling of the nearing, starving predators.
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-26 15:50:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-05-18 13:00:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-02-18 20:41:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-31 22:38:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I've had it up to here with your shennanigans, I'm going through and -2ing ALL of your posts!
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-27 14:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I LOVE MYSELF!!
SIGNED,
SCOURGEY
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:39:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95020#2202073
banning attempt
Submitted by minimumdino (user info) at 2006-01-11 19:58:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
next time you should write these words on a piece of paper crinkle the paper up and stuff it down your throat without any drink nearby
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-12-21 14:25:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd really like to see this go on.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-12-21 13:57:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I spent all of a half hour writing this. And it's fucking gold man. GOLD. I'll just assume you didn't get any this morning and wanted to insult someone out of frustration.
--------
Voltage- It's all jokes, man, just jokes.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-21 13:43:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-12-19 11:23:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-19 10:58:51 (#)
Ranking: 1
An interesting plot. An interesting idea. But the actual wording and prose was poor and lacked flow.
--------
From a guy who posted an AIM conversation, I'll take that comment with the grain of salt it needs.
This was a joke. A play on the usual reception that the words FIRST POST in a title gets. I just chickened out and added the first part of the title beore I submitted it.
Poor prose? pffffft and pshaw
I spent all of a half hour writing this. And it's fucking gold man. GOLD. I'll just assume you didn't get any this morning and wanted to insult someone out of frustration.
----
Didn't even register it said "First post".
Dude chill out. You have recieved only +2's from me in the past. This is a positive rating. Not even a 0 Calm down. If you don't like my posts rate them accordingly. And I will do the same for you. If you think they suck, -2DIE them. If you think they are good, then +2 them.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-12-21 09:40:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks Snark, once again, from you that's high praise.
But what's this.....a retaliatory negative two fronm Casey Barnes? OH NOES. Not Casey Barnes, he's such a highly acclaimed writer on Uber. I leave for a day and I get this horrible backlash. I'm going to kill myself.
Or maybe I'll kill Casey.
Eat my shit little man.
Submitted by KC_DC (user info) at 2005-12-20 04:11:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you need two negative twos. awful... (his writing is absolutely awful... i think he is a straight man who wants to be a gay man that wants to be a straight hermaphrodite.)
Submitted by KC_DC (user info) at 2005-12-20 04:09:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
loser.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-20 02:40:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This deserves a higher rating than it has.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:22:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:17:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe you chickened out.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-12-19 16:53:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Bitch away. I don't take anything here to heart.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-19 16:26:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehe. I'm only bitching because the writing is decent enough for the errors to stick out more.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:03:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Despiadado (user info) at 2005-12-19 14:36:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
I count 4 misused apostrophes.
That's not great but it's hardly worth compaining about.
And most people consider ME a grammar nazi.
-----
In this review I count one place where you should have used a comma.
I count one instance where capitalization is appropriate.
And numbers less than four characters should be spelled out.
Submitted by Despiadado (user info) at 2005-12-19 14:36:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I count 4 misused apostrophes.
That's not great but it's hardly worth compaining about.
And most people consider ME a grammar nazi.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-12-19 12:50:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
don't worry about LP. she is just bitter about falling 10 points short of a merit scholarship.
(in the last 2 days i've learned more about her/Cortez than my own mother.)
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-12-19 12:23:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your wrong. Thats' not it at all. I didn''t use alot of them on purpose.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-19 12:18:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The problem was that there were too MANY apostrophes in this, you bastard. You just do it because you know it hurts me. I'm onto your little games. I know what's going on here.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-12-19 12:08:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Little LadyPlural, cut me some slack on any apostrophe abuse that may be present.
I'm generally a terrific speller, use proper grammar and punctuation, blah blah. My typing skills unfortunately aren't on a par with my working knowledge of the language. In school I got a sympathy C from my teacher in typing. My hands and the keyboard just don't get along well. It's like the typing equivalent of Elaine dancing.
Additionally, this is the first thing I have ever drafted entirely in the little submit box itself. I had no squiggly green and red lines to tell me where my hands had gone wrong.
I might do some more of this. I'm not sure yet. Like I said, I started it as a joke when I got to my office this morning. I had the idea to do it last night. It turned out better than I expected it to. I have a few things waiting on second or third or fourth parts to finish coming together in my mind. I have a number of ideas that I haven't even set anything down on the screen yet.
And:
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''These are all for you.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-19 11:43:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Side note: for the love of god, please please please stop abusing the apostrophes. http://www.apostrophe.fsnet.co.uk/
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-19 11:41:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was a very clever play on words. And the story itself is quite intriguing. Is there going to be any more to it?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-12-19 11:23:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-19 10:58:51 (#)
Ranking: 1
An interesting plot. An interesting idea. But the actual wording and prose was poor and lacked flow.
--------
From a guy who posted an AIM conversation, I'll take that comment with the grain of salt it needs.
This was a joke. A play on the usual reception that the words FIRST POST in a title gets. I just chickened out and added the first part of the title beore I submitted it.
Poor prose? pffffft and pshaw
I spent all of a half hour writing this. And it's fucking gold man. GOLD. I'll just assume you didn't get any this morning and wanted to insult someone out of frustration.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-19 11:23:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lobos (user info) at 2005-12-19 11:17:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-19 11:00:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you're gonna keep these coming as quickly as I can read them. I've got a long week before The Christmas with next to no work to fill it.
Not the most accomplished writing I've come across on Uber but I definitely want to see where this goes.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-19 10:58:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
An interesting plot. An interesting idea. But the actual wording and prose was poor and lacked flow.