Dawn Of An Era: The Calm Before The Storm (1025 hits)
Category: Politics -> RepublicansRating: 1.7 on 43 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (View user info) at 2005-12-19 14:34:38 EST
This will be the last post before the official start of the Uber Civil War, which will begin this Wednesday, December 21st. This is a basic re-hash of the rules and participants. If anyone has questions i'll try to answer them to the best of my abilities.
I've decided to shorten the war to keep it from getting stale after a while. I want this to be around six weeks total, and hopefully everyone will only have to post/make comments once or twice throughout the whole ordeal.
You can volunteer if you think you'll have something ready by the Wednesday you want to battle which would make it very easy on both me and Method. I'll post battle re-caps and whatnot on Mondays, which would also be a good place to volunteer if you know you're going to be around the next couple of days. If no one volunteers or people are bickering over who gets to post, then the me and Method have to decide who should go.
Two people from each side will post/make thoughtful comments/flame war/do whatever starting this wednesday, with a hiatus next week so everyone can do the holiday thing. The three delegates, ahumblefool, indoninja, and full_frontal, will read the posts and then decide upon who they think win's that week's battle based on who they think outputs the most interesting/worth reading material.
When you are selected to post, you will post under the name of a certain general that will be assigned to you shortly.
The final week will be a guns blazing affair. Everyone will be available to post under they want under their selected generals name on that day. Whoever wins the last week will mostly likely win the event, as the final battle will be worth 3 battle wins, so if the Union/North has won 3 out of the six weeks and the South/Confederate has 2, yet they win the final week's battle, then the South would have 5 and win the whole shebang over the North's 3. That is purely a fictional setting and more than likely won't happen.
A faction will be announced the victor shortly after the final battle and MVP's will be named on both sides. A small prize courtesy of me will be awarded to the winners, and let me tell you that it is going to rock your faces clean off of your body.
This is also a last chance for anyone who doesn't want to participate to have your name striked from the list, except for Tom Sorrell, i'm keeping him on here because he's a crybaby.
I would also like to say to my arch-rival, Method, that you have no chance of winning. First of all, 80% of your godamn team is you. The other's don't even want to participate. Tinactin? Yeah fucking right man, that's my dude right there, he's not going to do shit except watch you forfeit if you choose him to battle. Even if this makes it past Wednesday, there's no chance in hell anyone will have the slightest amount of respect for you or those diapers you masturbate into after I'm through. You see, I know you man. You're going to try to sabotage this game i've been working my ass off to get going for everyone's amusement. You will call me gay and a superhero ass pirate or whatever you do and say that I/my team is lame. I won't let you do that. I love freedom and my army too much to have them become ridiculed by you and the pansy brigade because they think they're too cool for school and Civil Wars. The only thing I can commend you on is that you wear white cotton panties with pride.
I hope that you get rabies from Joan Jett and end up running off into the woods where snakes will piss upon your head. Oh, and good luck.
THE LIST OF PARTICIPANTS AND CORRESPONDING GENERALS (for pictures of your general go here http://www.generalsandbrevets.com/default.htm)
The Union
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Lt. General GLALL - Lt. General Ulysses S. Grant
Fabit - General Nathaniel James Jackson
Zakalwe - General Gordon Granger
Ladyplural - General Joseph "Fightin' Joe" Hooker
Silvrwolf - General John McAllister Schofield
electrictoothsyndrome - General William Tecumseh Sherman
Cookielass - General Conrad Jackson
MANICMOTHER - General John Gray Foster
HighVoltage9000 - General John Wallace Fuller
Snark - General Charles Thruston
The_Yellow_Dart - General Adin Ballou Underwood
SullyThePirate - General John Porter Hatch
badassmofo - General Absolom Baird
MyNameIsTim - General Mortimur Leggett
MyTeeOne - General John James Peck
Axolotl - General James Samuel Wadsworth
MisterMojoRisin - General Richard James Oglesby
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The Confederacy
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Lt. General (\/)ethod - Lt. General Robert E. Lee
G-prime - General James (Jeb) Ewell Brown Stuart
Fartsmeller - General James Cantey
JonnyX - General William Barksdale
apollo88 - General James Johnston Pettigrew
Scott Peterson - General Albert Pike
AlahAckbar - General William Mahone
Lisa - General Zebulon York
pantsarestupid - General Dudley Dubose
Shlongy - General Cadmus Marcellus Wilcox
BadAssJulie - General Nathan Bedford Forrest
JewToast/Michael Jackson/Zerobootfuck - General Earl Van Dorn
rad1101 - General John Bordenave Villepigue
BuckeyesTHEGAME - General Adam Johnson
BLITZKREIG_BOB - General Turner Ashby
scourge - General Micah Jenkins
tinactin - General Douchebag McMortimur
MistressFist - General Braxton Bragg
Jeanneee - General Richard Montgomery Gano
Some I wasn't sure if they were just rooting for a side or choosing to participate, so if I left anyone off the list who wants to join, leave a comment with whatever faction you wish to join. If you think you'll be too busy or just don't feel like participating anymore, just let me know. Also, sorry in advance to Fabit. I've been busy all weekend and this was my first chance to even start working on this, and I wanted the lists out there today.
Are you ready, Uber? Then it is time for you to become your destiny!!
User Reviews
Submitted by minimumdino (user info) at 2006-01-10 18:30:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
these kind of posts make my penis turn inside out
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-12-20 10:53:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm fucking drunk.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2005-12-20 05:05:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-19 14:37:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
this is still going on? I thought this had died down
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So did I.
Anyway, GLALL- I'll need to be taken off the list. I don't have the time to do this, I'm too damned lazy to take the time to write any decent posts, and I don't know jack shit about the civil war because I was either drunk, high, or asleep during history class. Plus I'll be going on vacation for two weeks. I thought this whole thing was just going to be a battle between you and Method anyway.
To my team(would you call it a team, army or what?)- Sorry to bail on you guys but I didn't realise exactly what I was getting myself into. Rock on and bring the glorious south to victory!
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-12-19 23:45:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. Second on the list. I hope that doesn't mean second in command? I can't handle that kind of responsibilty! It mustn't mean 2IC. I'm only a 12k shitposter with 30k hits. I can't be 2IC.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-12-19 21:22:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
glall -- once again you have forgotten to add me in as north korea waging war on china. seriously dude, what the fuck? i didn't realize this was going to be some sort of secular podium bullshit for you to spread your propaganda.
i was under the impression that anyone could particpate in this battle game, not just people with big long names or users that claim to have boobs and vaginas.
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2005-12-19 21:04:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:24:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
So it was BadAssJulie who started the KKK?
^^^^^^^^^
Be warned buckwheat!...I am the judiciary of the KKK .
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2005-12-19 20:51:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so excited, I slapped my porch nigger halfway across the tobacco field.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:56:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Suh-weet! I'm dead sexy, lazy eye and all: http://www.generalsandbrevets.com/ngs/schofield.htm
I hereby issue an open challenge to any southern beyatch, I mean, general who dares to face me.
I will expose your bizarre sexual fetishes involving Regis Philbin and frozen chickens.
I will show the world how you like to dress in girl scout uniforms and solicit sexual favors from Salvation Army voluteers.
I will reveal your penchant for passing out in a pool of your own vomit. No, wait; that's me.
I will reveal your penchant for passing out in a pool of your own vomit after only three sips of a really crappy Jamaican beer.
RAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Eat more dirt, you cousin-fucking, shit-eating, yellow-bellied, sheep-humping, <insert hyphenated insult here> meat puppets.
Any takers? Didn't think so, fuckers.
My superior cunning and brilliance requires no time for a response from you pussies...
'Cause yer all skeered!
I'm going back to my steady diet of Crown Royal and cigarettes now. Piss off.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:26:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't have to post anything, do I?
I can just hurl insults from the front row...like always.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-19 16:44:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll go.
-F. J. Hooker
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-19 16:42:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwwww hell yeah! Watch out, troops- I was bad for morale!
Wikipedia:
But Fighting Joe set a very bad example for the conduct of generals and their staffs and subordinates. His headquarters in Falmouth, Virginia, was described as being a combination of a "bar-room and a brothel".
FUCK YEAH.
F. J. Hooker
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-19 16:38:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
uh, define stupid? Do I look like a dictionary that's pages can be opened and close like i'm a Saigon whore? My definition of stupid includes anything that doesn't involve Rodney Dangerfield. Actually that's going to be this week's theme if you must know. You must write a post including Dangerfield as a character. He doesn't have to be a main character but he must be involved. Also, it must be set in Tallahassee, Florida. If you don't post, then you must have at least 15 comments before 5:00 that have something to do with Ray Charles or bull-riding.
Ok so who's going to go first?
So, who's going to
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-19 16:30:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh this should be a good definition
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-12-19 16:30:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is this stupid? http://www.ubersite.com/m/81134 ?
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-12-19 16:29:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Define "stupid"
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-19 16:24:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually I will kill anyone that posts something stupid. I change my mind quite frequently.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-19 16:16:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Whatever you want, Dart. I don't want to give out titles because I think that it would be too limiting. Like I said, if you think it's quality then don't worry about it and go with it, this is for fun, it's not like I will kill anyone for posting something stupid either.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:59:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just a question: what are we supposed to write about?
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:52:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:48:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:40:11 (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmmm. What is this all about? I don't feel like reading all those other posts...
Just a nice sentence long explanation written in retard will do.
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DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
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Ohhhhhhhh. I see now!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:48:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:40:11 (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmmm. What is this all about? I don't feel like reading all those other posts...
Just a nice sentence long explanation written in retard will do.
---------------------------------------------------------------
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:40:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm about to march to the sea up in this bitch.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:40:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmmm. What is this all about? I don't feel like reading all those other posts...
Just a nice sentence long explanation written in retard will do.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:37:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dude ease your horses Bob, it's all gonna start on wednesday and you would know this if you read the first godamn line of the whole post you redneck dingleberry. Also, who is going to step up and volunteer? If we don't have volunteers then you force me to choose people, and trust me it won't be pretty....
It will be beautiful.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:33:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is this ever going to start, McClellan?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:28:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:24:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
So it was BadAssJulie who started the KKK?
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haha, I was wondering who would catch that one!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:27:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so you're like the jesus special then, lay you in a manger?
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:24:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So it was BadAssJulie who started the KKK?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:23:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You can run the house. I'll stay in the barn where I belong.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:17:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so jeannee did you wanna be the madam or am i running the house?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:17:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://home.freeuk.com/gazkhan/micah.htm
That's me, you abolitionist scum.
That's right I had carbuncles erupt between my shoulder blades and still came back to....do something. That's as far as I got. Someone with less lazy in them will have to tell me more about myself.
carbuncles, yeah
On another note I don't believe I've ever seen a Google search of mine come up with quite so many Stars and Bars laden pages.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's time to pwn some serious Confederate ass. I got my M9's primed and set bitchs! And my Smores Schnapps to keep the troops in line.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You bastards are muy loco.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:05:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry badass, I remember and you're exempt from competing wednesday. Jeanneee, you can be a whore all you want but you will remain as General Gano. Any whoring on your part will have to be purely homosexual mustache-riding man-love for your side.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:01:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.bairdnet.com/biography/a-c.html
I own, BITCHES.....look at that beard!
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General Sir, you did get my message that I am on leave this week and will be reporting back for duty on monday?
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:00:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-19 14:56:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Exactly. Whore is all I agreed to.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-19 14:51:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
see jeannee this is why i just wanted to be the whore. our hands are too busy to type.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-19 14:46:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
of course you don't HAVE to, Jeanneee. Just don't volunteer, and hopefully by the time you might be forced by Method to participate you'll be ready.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-12-19 14:44:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.generalsandbrevets.com/ngu/underwood.htm
HAHAHAHA you bastard
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-19 14:44:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh shit, you mean I have to actually write something?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-12-19 14:41:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I will never stop.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-19 14:37:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this is still going on? I thought this had died down
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-19 14:36:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My sister is pregnant. Go sperm.