truth hurts...even for a whore (1138 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.24 on 43 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by bonnee (View user info) at 2005-12-19 17:58:49 EST
I am a very honest person. I wouldn't say I never lie...that would be a lie. I do however, have to have a damn good reason to feel the need to lie. I don't consider this a flaw. I think honesty is a quality everyone should have. I look for this when I choose friends.
Unfortunately, I somehow wound up with a best friend who was quite possibly a pathological liar. I don't know how it happened or how I stayed friends with her for so long. That is beside the point. She used to tell me that she valued my friendship because she knew I would always be honest with her. I believed her.
Over the years, her true self started showing through. I didn't mind the fact that she was a whore. It's her body and she can do whatever she wants with it. I didn't even mind the fact that people thought I was a whore because she was my friend. I did mind the fact that she cheated on all of her boyfriends and lied to them in front of me. That really fucking pissed me off.
Things changed when a new boy rolled into the scene. He was a complete moron and she fell hard for him. He was a whore himself. He had one kid with an ex-wife and another kid with his current fiancee. He was just her type. After a month, he decided they would get married and buy a house together. It's a good thing she had money because he was paying child support for two kids now. They made their announcement and then he broke it off with the other girl. They even decided they could cheat on eachother during their marriage! It would be perfect!
Up until this point, nobody knew what was going on. She didn't have a ring yet so it wasn't obvious. She casually mentioned the news of the engagement to me. She wanted to know my opinion because she knew I would tell her what I really thought. I told her the truth.
I told her she was a fucking moron. I didn't use those exact words because she was my friend after all, but there really is no nice way to tell someone they are stupid. She understood where I was coming from and thanked me for my honesty. I supported her even though I disagreed with her. I even went dress shopping with her and helped her find a caterer and a photographer. Everything seemed fine.
My birthday was in three weeks. She kept talking about what an awesome present she had for me. I still thought everything was fine. I even asked her if we were okay and she insisted we were. On my birthday a co-worker brought me a piece of cake. I love birthday cake. It's my favorite thing about having a birthday. All of my friends know this. So, when I forgot my cake at work, I had to go back and get it. When I got there I discovered my cake had been smashed. <insert the rage>
That fucking bitch had stepped on my birthday cake! You should never fuck with someone's cake. I thought about all of the things I should do to her. Maybe I should rape her face with my fist. No, that was too easy. Maybe I should kill her boy thingee. No, that would help her in the long run. I thought about all of the things I knew she hated and it hit me. She could not stand being embarrassed in public.
She didn't know I had found the cake and was still coming out with me to celebrate. Stupid bitch. I waited for the perfect moment. The band at the bar decided to take a break and the whole place got pretty quiet. I took a piece of birthday cake out of my purse. I set it on the table and slammed my palm into. The loud vibrating noise that came forth made the entire occupancy of the bar turn around, including the bitch who was about it eat it. As soon as she was facing me I smashed it into the side of her head yelling, "I can't believe you gave Tom herpes! He's fucking married!" While the crowd was preoccupied with laughter I told her if she wanted cake that badly all she had to do was ask.
She left with cake in her eye yelling jumbled profanities back at me. Several bar patrons bought me birthday shots after that. The last I heard about that fuckbag was that she bought a house for the guy and he dumped her right after. Her parents haven't forgiven her yet. They lost several thousand dollars in down payments for the wedding. I, however, am invited over for Christmas.
one piece of smashed birthday cake- $2.50
one bar of soap to clean up- &1.75
utter embarrassment to a whore- priceless
User Reviews
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-21 22:44:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-20 22:28:06 (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree. It is fun watching people bicker on this site. And, I know I am not the first or last to try and goad him. It's fun watching the supposed biggest asshole on the site not come up with good putdowns. He fucking sucks at being an asshole. You actually hurt my feelings more by spelling my name wrong.
By the way, I am most certainly not in love with a boy who tries to overcompensate his small member by nicknaming himself after a penis.
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I apologize for misspelling your name bonnee. Long day at the office. You know how it is. Well. No you deal with kids. You have it much worse than me. Though jesus christ, sometimes I swear I work with children "Okay guys, there is a spider in your cubicle. Stop screaming, chill the fuck out, get back to work."
Keep posting. I think you are getting better.
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-21 17:55:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
As stated before, a co-worker confirmed that she smashed it.
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Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-20 00:19:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
loucylou- Yes, and a co-worker told me. However, I have a new job now.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-21 11:34:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you still didn't explain how you knew she smashed the cake and all that.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-12-21 11:23:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
This sounds like it was a good post, then some fat trog came along, deleted a couple of paragraphs, wrote some crap about cake and then posted it for you.
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-20 22:28:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree. It is fun watching people bicker on this site. And, I know I am not the first or last to try and goad him. It's fun watching the supposed biggest asshole on the site not come up with good putdowns. He fucking sucks at being an asshole. You actually hurt my feelings more by spelling my name wrong.
By the way, I am most certainly not in love with a boy who tries to overcompensate his small member by nicknaming himself after a penis.
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Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-20 13:00:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
I am enjoying watching Shlongy. Bonnie you are not the first person to try and goad Shlongy, and your not going to be the last. Where is that list of posts telling Shlongy to fuck off and such? I need to keep that on file just for reference.
Keep at it you two, you are obviously in love.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-20 13:00:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I am enjoying watching Shlongy. Bonnie you are not the first person to try and goad Shlongy, and your not going to be the last. Where is that list of posts telling Shlongy to fuck off and such? I need to keep that on file just for reference.
Keep at it you two, you are obviously in love.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-12-20 12:26:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-20 12:11:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-20 08:36:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lucylou (user info) at 2005-12-19 23:03:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait a minute...
(a) does your friend work at your work (if you got back to work and found the cake smashed)?
(b) how did you know it was her that smashed it???
I got lost somewhere in the middle.
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I agree with the last statement.
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what they said.
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yea
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-20 12:11:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-20 08:36:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lucylou (user info) at 2005-12-19 23:03:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait a minute...
(a) does your friend work at your work (if you got back to work and found the cake smashed)?
(b) how did you know it was her that smashed it???
I got lost somewhere in the middle.
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I agree with the last statement.
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what they said.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-20 12:08:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
a little sloppy in the delivery
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:57:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what, I liked this.
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-20 09:23:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
There's not much there. Apparently she stopped posting a year ago.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alix19
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-20 08:45:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd like to see her livejournal
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-20 08:36:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lucylou (user info) at 2005-12-19 23:03:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait a minute...
(a) does your friend work at your work (if you got back to work and found the cake smashed)?
(b) how did you know it was her that smashed it???
I got lost somewhere in the middle.
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I agree with the last statement.
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-20 00:22:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy- She is in fact a whore, and I can send you her livejournal link if you would like. You could have fun with it. Even though you're a moron.
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-20 00:19:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
loucylou- Yes, and a co-worker told me. However, I have a new job now.
orgasmatron- fantabulous question...I would like to know myself.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-19 23:30:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
When a firefly farts, does it make a spark?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-19 23:13:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OH MY FUCKING GOD TEH MEH
Submitted by Lucylou (user info) at 2005-12-19 23:03:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait a minute...
(a) does your friend work at your work (if you got back to work and found the cake smashed)?
(b) how did you know it was her that smashed it???
I got lost somewhere in the middle...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-12-19 22:59:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You managed to rile up Shlongy. Not exactly a hard feat to accomplish, but still worth something.
I'll give you a +2 for knowing that it did indeed happen. I could have told you the outcome of posting this however.
Always listen to me, good will come of it.
On a side note, don't expect good from apollo. It just doesn't happen. He's a Texan.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-19 22:41:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I know for a fact I'd rather read a post from this so called "whore" than from you.
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-19 22:04:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Once again Ms. Shlongy, why waste your time? You are the worst asshole ever.
I guess that makes me a stupid cunt. Way to make me cry. Boohoo.
Walker- Trust me, she deserved it. I cut a lot of the story...kind of why it sucks.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-19 20:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It didn't happen, you stupid little bitch.
And if it DID happen to happen, you're an even stupider little cunt.
Carrying cake in your purse...OOOOOOKAAAAAAYYYYYYY.
Submitted by Walker (user info) at 2005-12-19 20:38:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Wow! Seemed a little harsh, but I guess you had the right to.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-12-19 19:30:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Your stories are getting better. How the fuck could anyone
possibly know if it's true or not? Did they gets funky
vibes from the monitor?
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-19 19:23:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, it did happen, exactly as I wrote it. You are right about one thing though, I'm not out of the box. I'm just a bitch. No wait, you're right about two things, I'm a worker bee too.
I guess you should change your rating now.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-12-19 19:15:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You aren't as honest as you might think you are. For instance:
This post. This post is a prime example of you making up a classic "this SHOULD have happened but didn't" story. Granted, I would rather not have read a story about your cake being crushed, and then you went home all pissy and never spoke to her again.
Because THAT'S real life. You aren't dangerously uncouth. You aren't out-of-the-box. You are the usual run-of-the-mill worker bee who gets stepped on all the time, and then thinks of a snappy comeback later that night after four pints of ice cream and seven tissue boxes.
Bottom line? Make your made-up story more clever.... or funny. Or both. Actually, just make it at least decent.
-2 for bad story
+2 for not telling what really happened
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-19 19:04:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha
I had it in a ziplock bag. It didn't have to look nice because I was going to smash it anyway. However, my purse is big enough to hold an entire value meal from McDonalds...I don't like to pay for good at movies...that's how I know.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-19 19:04:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
Submitted by the_thorne (user info) at 2005-12-19 19:01:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
'I took a piece of birthday cake out of my purse.'
Now, I'm not one to question the magical properties of a womans purse. This just struck me as a bit intersting, was it in a tupperwear? did you get that expensive piece of plastic back? Because you know if you didn't, you're going to have that damn extra lid floating around for decades.
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:57:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Wrong. I would have expected something better from you. Anyway, I don't just go meet people and say, "Hi, I tell the truth always!!"
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Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:48:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
anyone who feels the need to tell people how honest they are.
aren't.
fact.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:48:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
anyone who feels the need to tell people how honest they are.
aren't.
fact.
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:34:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
don't get too hung up on this episode.....
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:33:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A good enough story but needs more colour. Jazz it up a little for the giggles.
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:32:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jeanneee- I hope you did slap her. I have a low tolerance for stupidity. You're right though, I didn't really make the story flow. There's just so much to say about the situation and I deleted half of the post.
Shlongy- Speaking of stupidity, I don't recall asking you to validate your -2. I could give a shit if you rated my post or not. I was simply stating the fact that you bitch about my posts and keep reading them. If you don't like my shit, stop reading.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:27:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I had a friend like that, named Yana. She would complain to me about how her boyfriend Darrel never "appreciated" her being faithful to him. I always wanted to slap her and say "Maybe that's because you're NOT BEING FAITHFUL TO HIM YOU FAT UGLY PIECE OF TRASH!" Not to mention that being faithful is the least she could have done - it's not like he should kiss her ass for doing what she's supposed to do.
Anyway, meh on the story. It started out OK but you lost me about 2/3 of the way through.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:23:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I give shitloads of +2's...
Mostly to "coherent", "interesting" "clever" or "comical" posts.
Or, "tits and ass" shots.
Which one of those would this piece of rambling happy horseshit fall under?
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:18:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry to confuse you. It's just me bitching about a bitch.
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Submitted by Hexidecimal (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:10:36 (#)
Ranking: -1
im just confused
Submitted by Azk (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:11:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Schlongy, your a real negative bastard.
Submitted by Hexidecimal (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:10:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
im just confused
Submitted by gallowayveer (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:09:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i think shlongy has rage issues
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:09:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's just a story about what goes on in my life dick...I mean shlongy. Just like the rest of my posts, which you keep reading. Asshat.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:09:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's a biiiiig faaaat "I DOOON GIB A FUUUUUCK!"
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-19 18:03:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck was THIS story supposed to be?
Ugh.