"It's 3AM sir, I will not come up and clean your room" and more hotel shenanigans (1570 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.72 on 49 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jay Peg (View user info) at 2005-12-19 23:40:05 EST
The hotel I work at is a business class, corporate hotel.
90% of our guests are from companies that have rate contracts with us.
A good 50% of our guests stay at least 6 times a year.
So most of our guests know how the hotel is run.
They know we have a free breakfast, but no other meals.
They know that our shuttle only goes about 10 miles, doesn't not go to the airport, and is only from 6AM to midnight.
They know that housekeeping is only here from 8AM to 5PM, and they will not clean your room in the middle of your stay unless you place the little "Cleaning Service Needed" placard on the door in the morning.
Like I said, MOST of our guests know that.
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I was working the audit last night, and since it's the week before Christmas tthere is just about no one here. Our Occupancy was seriously hovering just above single digits.
So I'm sitting at my desk doing all the various bits of paperwork I need to do when I hear the bell at the front desk.
I put on my vest, look around the corner, and there stands a man, drunk as a lord, leaning against my counter.
"May I help you, sir?"
"Clean my room, damnit."
"Excuse me, sir?"
"My room is dirty, and it wasn't cleaned this morning. I want it cleaned before I go to sleep."
Well, um. OK then........ I'm thinking the guy is just missing some towels or something, so I ask what he needs in the room.
"What do you need in the room, sir?" (See, I asked.)
"I want the damn thing cleaned!"
"Aright sir, can you please not yell? It's past 2 in the morning, and there are guests sleeping down the hall."
"I don't care! I'm not sleeping in a dirty room!"
I'm a bit annoyed now.
"Sir, what was not cleaned in your room?"
"Everything! God damnit, everything! It's a mess, and I'm not sleeping in it!"
"Well sir, did you put the placard on your door this morning for cleaning service?"
"Why the hell would I do that?"
"Because during a stay, that's when we clean a room. Here in Denver, we're going through one heck of a drought, so we try to save as much water as possible, so we don't wash towels or sheets unless the guests requests it by putting that placard on their door handle in the morning."
"HORSESHITCLEANMYROOMGODDAMNIT!"
"Sir, once again, please don't yell in my lobby, and I ask you not to cuss at me, alright?"
"I WANT TO TALK TO THE MANAGER!"
I love this phrase. As I said before, I'm the weekend manager.
So I walk back into the office, put on my nametag, and walk back out to the desk.
"Yes sir, how may I help you?"
"You're guy at the desk is a dick!"
Well... I guess he's so drunk he doesn't realize it's still me. While this takes out some of the fun I get from pulling that, I still was a bit amused.
"Sir, that was me. And I will say it again for ya. Housekeeping only cleans rooms during a guests stay if they put the placard on the door. And I will not go clean your room now, because I am the only employee here, and I am not allowed to leave the entry and desk area. I'm sure housekeeping will be glad to clean your room first thing in the morning, and if that is not acceptable, I'm sure I can find another room in the hotel that is clean and acceptable to you."
He's now staring at me, blankly.
"If you don't get my room cleaned now, I swear to God I will never stay at this hotel again."
Gauntlet thrown.
"Fine sir. But I see in your reservation that you work with Daimler Chrysler. We're the only hotel in the Tech Center that have a direct bill agreement with them. If you go to another hotel, I can assure you that you'll be paying out of pocket, and you'll also be paying $60 more per night."
And with that, I walk back to my office.
I wait for a minute, and check the desk again.
He's gone.
I came in today, expecting to be blasted by the GM about how I handled the situation.
Nothing.
I ask if anyone had heard anything about the room, and the housekeeping manager piped up.
"Whoever was in that room puked all over the bathroom counter, and pissed the bed."
Yeah.
I love working in a hotel.
User Reviews
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-29 02:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you for adding to my hitcount today.
I am so very close to 200,000 hits, this I figured that this would be a good way to make it.
You might want to check to see if YOU are my 200,000th hit, and if you are, I might just say thank you.
I probably won't though.
Just saying.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-30 09:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And who's shitty alter is this?
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Submitted by jojo747 (user info) at 2006-08-25 09:06:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Vengance (user info) at 2006-08-01 12:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You can start leaving well enough alone, or this will continue.
Eventually I will be going to Bart about your shit.
You can quote this review back on one of my posts if you want to Jay. I know you will.
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-28 20:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2005-12-30 14:01:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
worked the audit myself on weekends. All the freaks you can handle. Once had a cowboy and spiderman carry in an unconcious playboy bunny on Halloween. Told them i'd have to charge extra if she was left dead in the room.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-12-30 13:32:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh if people wanna have sex in the bathroom let'em, it annoys me that a lot of people seem to find it insulting when people have sex outside the bedroom.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-12-21 07:15:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2005-12-21 01:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dealing with the general public sucks so much.
I feel your pain. I am at work now, getting asked stupid questions from rednecks who ignore the answers.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-12-20 19:24:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, this was all from that night, too. The bed was still wet when HC went in the next morning, and the puke had only slightly congealled.
Just wait until Daimler Chrysler sees the $75 cleaning charge we had to take on for deep cleaning the mattress.
I'm guessing he's gonna be paying for that one.
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2005-12-20 13:09:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2005-12-20 12:02:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
ew god.
i have so been there. +2 for working the audit
..............................................
Plus Fucking Two
I always hated direct bill guests more so then others, they are NOT paying for the room yet somehow they always find a way to bitch about the stupidist shit
Audit sucks man, but every once in a while you get the crazys that make the night more hectic, yet more interesting.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-12-20 12:59:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funie
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-12-20 12:30:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ew!
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2005-12-20 12:02:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ew god.
i have so been there. +2 for working the audit
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:57:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No wonder he wanted his room cleaned, that was probably from the night BEFORE!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:48:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
vicious
Submitted by Lobos (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:36:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So I walk back into the office, put on my nametag, and walk back out to the desk.
-------------------
Awesome
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:23:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hope ya had the morning crew piss in something of his.
Submitted by LilBastard (user info) at 2005-12-20 10:19:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You think this is bad, try working at a funeral home. That's where you'll encounter some loonies.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-12-20 10:02:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good for you son
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-20 09:48:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha. I hate drunkards.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-12-20 09:35:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-20 08:56:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Aces.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-20 08:48:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA, I love that you go back to the office, put your nametag on, and walk back out. That's pure smartass shit. Your posts always crack me up.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-20 08:42:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This amused me. +2 looks good on you sir!
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-12-20 07:44:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 if this is a rant.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-20 07:31:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I picture my Irish uncle as the drunk guy. He'd understand.
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2005-12-20 06:25:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
SHENANIGANS????
http://www.ubersite.com/m/81177
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-20 05:27:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why didn't you move him to another room? He was probably sick.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-12-20 05:26:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Devo's lamp shade hat is badass! <weeps> he has such good fashion sense.
Sell that cover on eBay!
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2005-12-20 05:18:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
you should have cleaned his room
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-12-20 05:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We had Devo.
Stop laughing.
Now, good story.
Devo played Coors Ampetheate which is, oh, 200 yards from the hotel.
So, they stayed here.
After the show, the band came back, and the lead singer on Whip It had a groupie with him.
Swear to God, 20 minutes later, we get a call from his room.
"Call the cops, this bitch is crazy!"
After a very odd 2 hours which had the cops CARRYING a naked handcuffed tazered lady out of the hotel, and trying to explain to the 30 guests in the lobby that is was a crazed groupie of Devo... Which no one bought, BTW... All I got for thanks was a signed CD COVER.
Not a CD, not cash or anything like that... A GOD DAMNED SIGNED CD COVER.
That's why I now hate Devo.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-12-20 04:20:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do any famous people stay in that hotel?
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2005-12-20 03:49:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Btw, you're probably one of those guys who won't send me up a piece of ass up to my room no matter how nice and quiet-like I ask, or how much $ I give you.
I mean, for Christ's sake, I even received proper "service" in SLC Utah of all places.
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2005-12-20 03:36:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, but I've stayed in hundreds, maybe a thousand of them.
I sympathize with the house-keeping problem, but is it my job to properly vet them?
I guess it boils down to: You get what you pay for
Harrumph!!
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2005-12-20 03:29:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thats exactly why i sleep in my car if possible.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-12-20 03:13:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OK... Lesse...
We have a to-from work and resturant shuttle.
The airport is ***35*** miles from the Hotel.
I was the ONLY PERSON IN THE HOTEL.
It is also explained AT CHECKIN that unless Housekeeping is requested, it is not done.
The "drought" story is there as a nicety. The real reason is the amount of lawsuits against hotels about housekeepers stealing from guests. They can either place the sign on their door, which is defacto permission, or they can sign on their reg. card authorizing it. In doing either, the hotel itself is no longer liable, although the housekeeper could be.
The "continental breakfast" is about all you're going to get from any hotel in the Denver Tech Center. Wanna know why? We only charge $129 per night for walk ins. Most corporations get deals down to anywhere from $69 to $99.
YOu obviously have never worked in a hotel, I'd guess.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-12-20 03:04:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SHENANIGANS?!?
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2005-12-20 02:51:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You have a shuttle, but it doesn't go to the airport?
That makes perfect sense.
You won't have a room cleaned, even though there's staff available for emergencies?
Wonderful.
The only meals you serve is one of those bullshit continental breakfasts?
Yummy.
No wonder all the car companies are going bankrupt and reneging on their retirement plans.
They have no fucking idea how to treat their empolyees or where to send them to proper
accomodations when out-of-town!
You get a half-star...and a bitch slap.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-12-20 02:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
S'OK, Rad.
It's the beards fault.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-20 02:14:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry about that.
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2005-12-20 02:08:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha. I take my own sheets when staying at hotels now, after all that black light showing cum stuff on TV.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-12-20 02:03:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate staying in hotel rooms, particularly sleeping in hotel beds because I KNOW what probably went on in there before I checked in.
Submitted by The_Last_Prophet (user info) at 2005-12-20 01:48:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He pissed the bed! That did it!
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-12-20 01:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
indeed!
Submitted by Walker (user info) at 2005-12-19 23:58:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Haha! Him not recognizing you when coming back with the nametag on just proves that movie-style humor does in fact come from real life. Fun read, not INSANELY funny though.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-12-19 23:57:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Spooner, you have NO idea how many guys beat off in their rooms.
I get 3-4 calls a night to get "accidental" porn charges off a bill.
If they watched for more than 2 minutes, it stays.
I've seen 2 guys fired by their comapny because the business paid for the room, and the person forgot to charge their porn to a personal card.
I've also caught a couple having anal sex in the pool bathroom, and so many other horrid things, that I shall now go rip at the skin on my arms to forget them all.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-12-19 23:51:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My dad stays and probably masturbates in a lot of hotels.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-12-19 23:48:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
gross