Irritation. Irrational? (796 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.37 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dervel: Lord Protector (View user info) at 2005-12-20 09:45:56 EST
Have you seen those new Gaviscon adverts?
They annoy me.
Especially the tennis one.
If you haven't seen it, basically, it's two middle-aged women having a quick game of tennis in their crappy whites.
Unfortunately the fugly one is suddenly struck down by a severe bout of indigestion.
The lesser beast comes to her rescue by whapping a tub of Gaviscon at her instead of the ball. (See what they did there? Clever that.) Which, for some unknown reason, pings off the top of the net before finally being caught by the acidic-bellied ogre.
Why did it hit the net first? Were the advertisers trying to add suspense to this, oh so high drama, or were the woman just really shit at tennis? Fucked if I know, it's pretty ghey though.
Anyway, when the old bint catches the Gaviscon, she puts on this horrid all teeth bared grin, like in a toothpaste advert.
I can't see a requirement for this, especially as she has teeth like that horse in that Picasso painting. You know, the one with the horse and all that other disembodied stuff floating about the place.
Then the awful bit happens.
Right at the end as the munter is still gurning away, part of the song "Flashdance" starts playing. The "what a feeling!" bit in the chorus, to be precise.
Indeed. Not having dyspepsia is a great feeling.
It might just be me, but I've always taken the feeling of not having indigestion for granted.
Probably explains why I'm so joyless.
That being said, it could be the greatest piece of product marketing ever. Annoy everyone so much with incessant reruns of their shitty adverts that we all get ulcers. Supply and demand.
Tricky, underhand bastards.
I also hate that cunt in the hat from the Admiral insurance adverts. And his stupid fucking parrot.
I rather like the Kerry Katona Iceland adverts though, but only because she has massive nellys.
User Reviews
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2006-02-22 13:00:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What are you talking about cock knocker???
Submitted by bastard (user info) at 2006-02-03 20:07:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Is there a Gaviscon to make me feel better after reading this shit post? I don't think so.
Boo.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-01-27 07:11:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-01-27 06:31:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Kellogg's Smacks. You get a free jungle animal at the moment.
They're ok, though not quite as good as the little submarines you used to get, the ones you fill with baking soda and they swim around the bathtub.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-01-23 05:21:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-01-13 22:53:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-01-13 11:23:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, I was fibbing about Pock working at B & Q.
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You fibbing bastard.
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2005-12-20 16:53:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-20 10:07:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
I rather like the Kerry Katona Iceland adverts though, but only because she has massive nellies.
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Personally think she's a bit of a ming mong - but respect never the less
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What the fuck is with Brit slang? Not to say hizouse and such aren't retarded, but seriously, nellies?
Every time I hear it I think of 'Bart vs. Australia'. The locals think bullfrogs should be named chazwozzers.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-20 16:16:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i enjoy the word advert i think it's funny...
baited breath and rubber gloves. is that the line? shit now where the fuck is that from?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2005-12-20 16:09:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this made me guffaw, I enjoy a good guffaw.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-12-20 13:28:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Utter crap.
-Dave
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:38:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The heck I did.
The realm awaits your return with baited breath.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:34:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I miss Cheesy British adverts.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:20:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
debilatating or dehabilitating?
The former me thinks.
Peasant.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:20:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-12-20 10:09:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Volty, volty, volty.
It's not supposed to be funny, ergo, it's not posted under humour.
Tis nowt but a gentle saunter though the woods. Pointless, but not entirely unpleasant.
Apollo - Fintan brings me no cheer today, I'm melancholy and prone to dehabilitating bouts of emu tears.
Twas robbery on Sunday, no? """
I know!
What with us stealing the champions league I can't really complain too much but a mexican referee and canadian linesman? Are they mental? What the fuck do candadians know about football?
Ah well, back to blight to get beat by newcastle.
looking forward to going to that, back in the UK on thursday!
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:01:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-20 10:54:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
People other than lesbians actually play tennis?
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Lesbians don't play tennis.
Wait for it...
No, really...
Here it comes...
They don't have the balls!
Ahahahahahahahaha!
<dies>
Submitted by stuckfix (user info) at 2005-12-20 10:56:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Anyway, when the old bint catches the Gaviscon, she puts on this horrid all teeth bared grin, like in a toothpaste advert.
I can't see a requirement for this, especially as she has teeth like that horse in that Picasso painting. You know, the one with the horse and all that other disembodied stuff floating about the place.
====================
+2 for seeing a British person with teeth.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-20 10:54:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
People other than lesbians actually play tennis?
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-12-20 10:09:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Volty, volty, volty.
It's not supposed to be funny, ergo, it's not posted under humour.
Tis nowt but a gentle saunter though the woods. Pointless, but not entirely unpleasant.
Apollo - Fintan brings me no cheer today, I'm melancholy and prone to dehabilitating bouts of emu tears.
Twas robbery on Sunday, no?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-20 10:07:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I rather like the Kerry Katona Iceland adverts though, but only because she has massive nellies.
---
Personally think she's a bit of a ming mong - but respect never the less
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-20 09:56:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nothing about this really got me to smile or laugh. Dunno what you were trying to do, but I feel you did not succeed at it.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-20 09:55:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
needs more fintan
Submitted by Azk (user info) at 2005-12-20 09:52:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-20 09:49:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Why did it hit the net first?
Because Gaviscon *lets* you get rid of indigestion...
Thank you. I'm here all week. Try the veal.