A Christmas Miracle: The Gang Rape and Sodomization of Little Baby Jesus (1559 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.04 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Vermin (View user info) at 2005-12-20 11:19:34 EST
In a far away land in a distant time a baby boy was born under light of a shining star. He was a special baby; a baby that would one day change the world. His name was Jesus Christ. Unfortunately his mother Mary was having problems putting little baby Jesus to bed for the night. The manger that mother and child shared with a menagerie of animals was very drafty and noisy, and the little baby would not stop fussing and crying no matter what Mary tried.
Just as Mary despaired of ever getting the baby to sleep three wise men came bearing gifts of Frankincense and Mer. Mary thanked them and assured that the gifts were much appreciated, although the baby Jesus still squalled louder then ever.
The virgin Mary asked the wise men if they knew any methods to sooth a troubled baby to sleep.
The three wise men huddled together and whispered in hushed tones. Finally the first wise man answered that if Mary gave them half an hour alone with the baby Jesus they would surely be able get the baby to a peaceful sleep.
Mary agreed as she had to go take a dump anyway, so she left the three wise men alone to try and deal with the baby Jesus.
'Finally', said the first wise man, 'She's gone. Now it's time for some good old fashion baby-rape!'
And with that the first wise man fumbled at his robes. He sported a look of satisfaction as his erection sprang free and proud. He then grabbed the baby Jesus, flipped him over and mightily thrust his raging member into our Lord and Savior's anus. The little infant cried out in pain and confusion, and his tender asshole was torn asunder.
'You like that don't you? You take it all in you little bitch', said the first wise man as his pelvis pumped madly.
The second wise man joined in and began raping Baby Jesus in the mouth. 'That will shut you up won't it you little bastard' the second wise man grunted between thrusts.
The third wise man, wanting to help out but not having an orifice to himself maneuvered his bare ass into the action. With his butt strategically place, his asshole puckered and a turd slid out and lay steaming upon the brow of little baby Jesus.
The wise men had their way with the baby Jesus for a good ten minutes and still he would not sleep. In fact, he was crying louder then ever.
'What to do' mused the three wise men.
They were not beaten yet however as they spotted a camel sharing the manger with the baby Jesus. They gingerly placed the crying infant in front of the camel in the standard mammalian presentation position.
The camel eyed the baby and then the wise men for some minutes. Just as the wise men were despairing of the success of their plan, the camel's rough penis provocatively slid out of the sheath that shields the tender camel dick from the blowing sand. By this time the baby Jesus's asshole was reamed about 3 sizes bigger than normal from the raping. Even so, it still had trouble taking in the Camel's entire girth. With one mighty shove the camel entered Baby Jesus and bellowed out in triumph as it came almost immediately. The baby rocketed across the manger, howling and screeching and trailing a geyser of camel semen which propelled his flight.
Baby Jesus crashed against the wall with a hard meaty thud. By some fluke he bounced snug into his cradle and the crying had finally ceased.
Just then the Virgin Mary came back and saw little Baby Jesus sleeping peacefully in his cradle.
'It's a Christmas Miracle!' she exclaimed.
The three wise men nodded sagely to each other and set off into the dessert.
And it truly was the a Christmas miracle, the first of many to come in the years ahead.
And for another Christmas miracle, how about what is going on in Iraq:
User Reviews
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2006-05-12 17:06:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No comment needed.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-04-21 00:04:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
vermin is the cat's tits
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2005-12-21 12:52:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-12-21 06:49:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was awesome , now to read your other posts ...
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-12-21 04:35:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me shake my head (+1)
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-12-21 00:08:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yay he's back!
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2005-12-20 23:32:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to fuck a corpse. It's so hot right now.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2005-12-20 23:31:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My asshole trembles with joy.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2005-12-20 23:31:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HE'S BACK!
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2005-12-20 19:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
shaddap you fucking joo.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-20 18:33:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:22:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahah I missed you
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-20 16:49:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Eggy1988 (user info) at 2005-12-20 16:43:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I sincerely hope your business involves you writing. You are gifted.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-20 15:46:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank god you're back. LONG LIVE VERMIN
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-12-20 15:36:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Long Live the Vermin!
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-20 12:33:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2005-12-20 12:16:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:22:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahah I missed you
------------
Thanks, so busy right now cause I started my own business. No time for the interweb. I'll post more when things slow down.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:45:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shouldn't you have given it a 1 if it made you smile...geesh, you need to explain yourself.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:43:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this was pretty disgusting but made me smile.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:38:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 'cause I'm a Catholic
+2 'cause I gave that shit up years ago
-1 for mentioning The Christmas
+1 for the finger rape
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:38:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
call 'em like i see 'em
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:37:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:36:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
omg zoobie is an alter...zoobie is caul. lol.
===
?!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:36:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
omg zoobie is an alter...zoobie is caul. lol.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:35:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh boy this was terrible. But I +2 because it was highly offensive, and it is difficult to offend the Mistress. Plus Grimace. Haven't seen that cat in a while....
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:33:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is the funniest thing i have read all day. by the way it is spelt myrrh not mer...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:30:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:23:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
YES A MOTHERFUCKING VERMIN POST!
Now, to read it.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:30:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you lost me at the title.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:29:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:25:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SET OFF INTO THE DESSERT?
Baby jebsu was born in a trifle?
who'd a thunk it?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:25:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"...mightily thrust his raging member into our Lord and Savior's anus. The little infant cried out in pain and confusion, and his tender asshole was torn asunder. """
I laughed so hard I cried.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:24:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
wow how creative and clever.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:23:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YES A MOTHERFUCKING VERMIN POST!
Now, to read it.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:22:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahah I missed you
Submitted by Boondock (user info) at 2005-12-20 11:20:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment