The Cardboard Box Adventures - Part 5 (967 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: cardboard_box_adventures
Rating: 2 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <brdn_nkd.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-12-20 14:23:34 EST
Part 4 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/81197
I lay in my cell, brooding over the fact that I'd been caught so easily. I wondered where the door had gone, why it wasn't there. I lay there feeling cramps being to set in to my body from not being able to move. I wondered where Ben was, if he was safe, how he had become so entrenched in this that he could eat another person, and whether or not he was safe.
Suddenly, like every other evening I've experienced here, "day" turned to "night". I looked up at the orange sky and for the first time noticed a hint of a moon, once again looking as though it'd been drawn by a child. I watched in awe as the moon seemed to begin to grow brighter, to clarify, until I could see that, just like at home, there was a man in the moon. This man in the moon was not the jovial character we usually think of; instead it wore a sneering grimace and seemed to ooze malice. I wondered what it meant, in all the time I'd been here I'd never even seen a hint of a moon but tonight I saw it and watched it solidify and even as it happened I watched as a cold silver-blue light crept into my surroundings, moonlight? I was startled when someone spoke to me.
"I don't like you but Ben says I have to help you. Be very quiet, I will let you out and lead you to him. If you get me caught I will kill you before anyone gets to me and you will go to your death without the honor of living on. Now nod that you understand."
I gave the acknowledgement requested even though I didn't understand then all that was being said to me; go to my death without the honor of living on? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
I watched as a figure slowly came into focus in the ever increasing moonlight. I have to admit that everyone looks the same to me, they're all different but I don't know enough names to begin to try recognizing individuals. I suspected it was Pickle since he was the only one who had ever directly acknowledged me without first being angry.
"Alright Bigs, let's get moving." The figure unlocked my cage and swung the door open.
I stood, trying to stretch my aching muscles. "Pickle?"
"Yeah it's me but don't ever tell anyone. The Big Man wouldn't be happy if he knew what we were doing and would almost certainly kill me if he found out I let you out. You really pissed him off there bigs, no one has ever been offered the opportunity you had tonight, except Ben of course."
"Pickle, how do you think you could kill me by yourself? What do you mean go to my death without the......."
"Shut up bigs, no time for questions, if you want out you need to come with me immediately."
I followed Pickle into a forest that I'd never noticed before. In fact, I know it wasn't there even earlier today because this was the way I'd gone to try to get back to the door. I looked up at the trees and saw a multitude of colors, each canopy different than its neighbors. You know how you draw a tree when you're a kid? Give it a trunk and then scribble the leaves in in big curly ques right? That's what I was seeing. I kept walking alongside Pickle for the first time noticing that the ground here was not spongy like it has been everywhere else, and then out of the corner of my eye I saw movement. Something large moving through the canopy, for a second I thought I saw the glow of cat eyes.
I turned to ask Pickle about it and found myself alone in a clearing, and as understanding dawned on me I was bowled over from behind. As I hit the ground face first I thought I heard Ben, "Dad!" I rolled trying to get out from whatever had me on the ground and found myself staring into the face of a nightmare come true. Two enormous, ridiculous looking fangs came from a mouth full of razor sharp teeth of various sizes. The nose was bright red and set far behind that I could see two glowing eyes. Eyes sent straight from hell burning with a fire that could only be found there. Behind the eyes were two crude, pointy ears and all of this was surrounded by a shaggy, mangy, mane. I'm sure I screamed then because the breath I took in was rancid, like breathing in a mouthful of rotten meat. I tried to roll, conscious of the fact that I was vomiting even as I did so. The creature had me pinned and I swear I was looking at my own death.
Then I heard him again; "Dad, hold still! He can't hurt you, give me a second and I'll get rid of him!" And even as I turned to look for Ben the weight of the beast disappeared. I looked around the clearing and found myself once again alone until Ben entered from the same place, presumably, that I had.
"Dad! I'm sorry about all of this. I can take you home, Pickle was right, you don't belong here."
"You have to come with me Ben, you can't stay here, this place is madness."
"No dad, I have to stay, I have to make sure they don't do anything to Pickle."
With that Ben grabbed my hand and I found myself sitting in the cardboard box next to the lifeless form of my son. I tried to shake him, I called to him, and I kissed him, and felt tears running down my face. I sat in the box holding him until I woke, stiff once again, early in the morning. I tried again to rouse Ben to no avail and decided I had to find a way back. I took hold of Ben's hands and concentrated, holding the image of him in my mind and when I opened my eyes again I was back. I was once again in the forest and through the canopy I saw, as far as I know in my experience, the first sunrise of that world through the canopy of the forest. I thought of Ben and realized he knew I was back, I also thought the Big Man knew I was back too, why I think that I can't say for sure but I was almost positive of it.
User Reviews
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-12 02:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-03-15 19:24:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ditka (user info) at 2006-01-07 23:49:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
auto Cardboard +2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-29 15:23:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-12-29 11:51:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're right actually. There is a reason I wanted him to go back to real world and then find his way back again but you might be right about the presentation there. If you find other things like that let me know, I appreciate good criticism like that.
Thanks for reading. B
Submitted by Kirbage (user info) at 2005-12-29 11:31:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry if it has been said...
...I took hold of Ben's hands and concentrated, holding the image of him in my mind and when I opened my eyes again I was back. I was once again in the forest and through the canopy I saw, as far as I know in my experience, the first sunrise of that world through the canopy of the forest.
That was very...simple. Like - I need back in the dream world but I've only ever been in when Ben takes me. Oh ok, I think I'll just be able to go in whenever I please. You know what I mean? Also, we've been in the magic world for quite a while - then we pop into the real world for maybe 5 seconds then back to the magic world? Meh - this series rocks me any way, I've got a real boner for you.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-12-27 14:58:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ignore the ADD challenged individuals and just let this series marinate for a few months
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-12-26 12:49:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been avoiding these because I didn't have time to catch the first few. Yeah holiday down time!
Excellent series.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2005-12-21 09:37:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-12-21 09:18:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-20 14:34:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
I really am liking this series
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-12-21 09:30:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Submitted by Remission (user info) at 2005-12-21 09:28:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to kiss you. In a non gay way of course... Unless you are into that.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-12-21 09:18:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-20 14:34:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
I really am liking this series
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-12-21 07:00:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think one of the things I like the most about this is that you don't know where it is going, which means that every time I think I know where it will go next I am inevitably wrong.
-Dave
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-21 06:26:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Going well...
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-12-21 04:33:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-21 01:20:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-12-20 22:55:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW. This series is REALLY awesome.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-12-20 19:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No, don't listen to me.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-12-20 19:59:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Make the main character go back brandishing a samuri sword and set up some huge fight sequence between imaginary pickle people and our hero (although the dude is afraid of little people and easily controlled by his son).
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-20 19:41:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
whatever, don't care about the ratings really it's just funny to see the audience taper off, makes you wonder whether the story is losing them or if it's simply one more example of Uber's ADD affliction.
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It's the holiday's brother.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-20 18:59:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-12-20 16:24:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-20 16:11:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-20 15:54:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
seems like you have fun writing these-
and for that, bravo.
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Is this translation for, I don't really like these but you seem to so..........go you!
At any rate, I enjoy them, but how long is this going to go?
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No, i genuinely enjoyed this.
Look foward to future entries.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-12-20 18:26:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This series is just awesome. I love it!
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-20 16:49:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd say it has to do with ADD.
I mean, post a few hot lesbians day after day, eventually we'll get sick of looking at them
Not right away mind you, in like three, maybe four years
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-12-20 16:24:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-20 16:11:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-20 15:54:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
seems like you have fun writing these-
and for that, bravo.
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Is this translation for, I don't really like these but you seem to so..........go you!
At any rate, I enjoy them, but how long is this going to go?
Funny. I do enjoy writing them.
I don't really know yet. Right now I would guess less than ten more posts. I have a couple things to pull together for the end so it will take a little time assuming the story goes the way I think it might.
I'm always amazed at how fast series' lose interest here. I always like the strong series, not that this is necessarily one of them, they give me something to look forward to reading and more reason to keep coming back.
whatever, don't care about the ratings really it's just funny to see the audience taper off, makes you wonder whether the story is losing them or if it's simply one more example of Uber's ADD affliction.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-20 16:11:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-20 15:54:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
seems like you have fun writing these-
and for that, bravo.
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Is this translation for, I don't really like these but you seem to so..........go you!
At any rate, I enjoy them, but how long is this going to go?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-20 15:54:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
seems like you have fun writing these-
and for that, bravo.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2005-12-20 15:24:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-12-20 14:48:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great job.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-20 14:39:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yay, more.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-20 14:36:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm just giving this a too cuz my mind went YAY when i saw you posted another. ok now i'll read this.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-20 14:34:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really am liking this series.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-20 14:33:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2005-12-20 14:33:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
great thought on the moon.
this was my favorite since the first.