The Cardboard Box Adventures - Part 6 (924 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: cardboard_box_adventures
Rating: 2 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <brdn_nkd.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-12-21 13:20:36 EST
Part 5 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/81258
Dad and I were standing in line at the winner feast, normally I stand very near the front, a place of honor, the Bangers say, but since the Bangers won't let Dad come with me I stayed with him. I knew that this time there would be enough for him to get to eat for a change; I also knew it might be hard on him. I really wasn't surprised when dad objected to eating the others, I mean it was kinda scary and gross for me too but after they explained why it had to be done I tried it and found out it was pretty good.
Dad really freaked out though. I kept loading my plate not wanting to miss out on the party while dad had his fit. After my talk with the Big Man I knew that I could bring dad without any real danger to him as long as I had Pickle to help me and could always get close enough to the Big Man. So I let the Big Man order my dad's arrest thinking dad would just let them arrest him so they could explain the feast and we could all get on with things, but as some of the guard walked toward dad he ran. Dad ran right through the crowd and through the city until I couldn't see him any more. Thinking about my dad I closed my eyes and concentrated on him and suddenly found that I was able to see him, running back to where the door usually is.
When dad found the door was gone he ran around in circles looking for somewhere to hide. I saw him trip, I saw him arrested, and I saw him locked up. The celebration continued all around me and the Big Man looked over it all from his throne. I walked over to talk to him.
"You need to let my dad go."
"No I don't. You should not have brought him hear Ben. You've put us all in danger."
"Danger? Why danger? Dad's not going to hurt any of you."
"Ben, I will speak of this no more today. Go, enjoy the party. "
I walked back to where I had been standing with Pickles and asked him if he would help me get my dad out.
"I will only help you Ben if you make your dad go back. I could be killed for it if I'm caught, so you have to promise me."
"Ok, ok, meet me at the door and I'll send him back."
"And then you'll stay to fight?"
"Yes Pickle, I know now that I have to, for all of you and for me."
Pickle left right away. I waited for a while; I knew Pickle wouldn't try to free him until after dark so I didn't need to hurry yet. I looked around at the party and noticed the Big Man staring at me. He grinned at me and winked before getting out of the throne and retreating into the castle behind him.
It didn't look like a nice grin. I think he knows what Pickle and I are planning. There are others working with us too but it's too early, we're not ready yet so I hope that he was just showing off because he wouldn't free dad.
I left then to meet Pickle and dad. I had little doubt that Pickle could get him out; he's one of the smartest people I've met here. I ran to where the door is and saw Pickle running the other way.
"There's something in there Ben, leave him and run!"
"Dad!" I shouted hoping he'd hear me and maybe run to me. I kept running until I saw dad in a clearing in the trees. A huge animal was on him getting ready to eat him I think. I yelled once more and then stopped running. I stopped running and pictured the clearing in my head, the clearing with dad and the beast. Then I pictured it in my head with everything but the beast. When I opened my eyes and looked up the beast was gone.
I ran to dad and told him he had to go. He wanted me to come with him but it's not time yet so I sent him home by himself and started back to town. As if from far away I could hear dad calling to me from home. I could feel my body being shaken and I could feel dad's hot tears falling on my face but I kept running, I had to find Pickle. Whether the time was right or not it was time for us to try. It was time to challenge the Big Man.
I felt dad return. I'm not sure how he did it, according to Pickles and the Bin Man he should not be able to come here on his own but somehow he made it. I thought about him the way I had before and could see him making his way back to town.
I thought then of the Big Man and could see that he too knew about dad's return. He was already ordering guards to go and arrest him.
I sat there for a few moments wondering how to save dad. I could see the Big Man's intent and I knew he had to be stopped. I knew I couldn't reach dad before the guards though and I didn't know where Pickle was. Then it came to me. I realized then that I had some level of control here.
I concentrated. "Dad, turn off the road to your right. Go to the house on the ridge and stay there. You should be safe there. I'll try to come to you to explain later but please go now." In my mind's eye I watched as dad paused and turned his head, I watched then as he continued up the road. "Dad! GO NOW!" This time when I saw him he winced as though he'd been slapped, I must have really hit him, but he turned and made way for the ridge.
I watched as he walked and could hear him say; "What house Ben? There's no house there. What's happening?"
Being careful not to hurt him I told him once again to go, I told him inside his head like before, I told him it would be there when he got to the top of the hill. Then I let go of him and instead pictured the ridge. I pictured the ridge as it was, then with a castle on it. The castle wasn't large, not nearly as large as the Big Man's but I thought it invincible and saw it appear there. I felt tired now but once again I looked for my dad and finally saw him running toward the castle. I also saw that the guards the Big Man had sent were chasing after him.
I watched as dad reached the door of the castle and then fell through the door slapping at his neck. He landed on the floor, just clear of the door and did not get up. The guards had stung him and were now closing fast. Working harder than I ever have I slammed the door in their faces and drew down the cross bar on the inside.
I must have blacked out then because the next thing I remember is Pickle shaking me hard.
"Ben, you have to get up now!! They're coming!"
User Reviews
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-12 02:17:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-03-15 19:28:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-01-11 20:54:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ditka (user info) at 2006-01-07 23:48:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
auto Cardboard +2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-12-29 15:53:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-29 15:37:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
is this symbolism for cancer?
Not that I know of.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-29 15:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is this symbolism for cancer?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-12-29 15:16:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:05:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
They just keep getting better and better.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-12-28 02:05:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What a cool little story.
You've done a great job keeping tone.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-12-26 12:53:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-12-25 04:22:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Still Good.
One (minor) point.
Pickle's name appears to have changed to "Pickles" a couple of times.
Doesn't detract im just nit-pick(le)ing.
Merry Xmas.
-Dave
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-23 00:40:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
o teh glee.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-12-22 15:07:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:31:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Do the next chapter from Pickle's POV.
Damn! I should have thought of that so I could have woven that in sooner. I'll consider it. Not sure when I'll write the next one given holidays and weekend. Thanks for a brilliant suggestion and thanks for reading, B
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:31:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do the next chapter from Pickle's POV.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-12-22 07:05:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It gets better...
Submitted by Spacey (user info) at 2005-12-22 05:46:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These are fantastic!
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-22 05:35:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-12-21 18:01:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am intentionally jumping around and back and forth on the POV. I wrote my last series like that, have always enjoyed reading stories like that and enjoy writing this way. Thanks for reading. B
Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2005-12-21 17:21:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This may sound dumb but, is the story supposed to jump back and forth like that? I think it's an amazing story and I can't wait to read the rest when it's posted. However, I could not figure out why it kept jumping back and forth from one post to another. Let the flames begin if I've just made an ass out of myself, after all I'm just the FNG
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-12-21 15:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-21 15:26:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by the_thorne (user info) at 2005-12-21 15:26:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent. Keep it up.
Submitted by AlexorGM (user info) at 2005-12-21 15:24:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-12-21 13:42:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Comment
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-12-21 15:10:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2005-12-21 14:54:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
keeps getting better
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-21 13:46:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-12-21 13:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-12-21 13:42:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Comment
Thanks, I appreciate comments.
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-12-21 13:42:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Comment
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-21 13:34:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-12-21 13:31:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-12-21 13:25:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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