Recent TV commercials (2451 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: 1.63 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Siren© (View user info) at 2005-12-21 20:48:27 EST
Most TV commercials of late are pissing me off. It seems now that Christmas is on the way, companies are trying to grab our attention and tug our heart strings any way they can. That's right, I said Christmas, bitch. Speaking of which... Razor and Firefly, have you seen the HUGE Jew house decorated on Park Heights Ave.? It's AWESOME.
Way off track-
First order of business, using other peoples' good quality material for your lame ass product makes you uncreative. I have two examples of this.
1. The first is the debatably over-hyped and ever so popular March of the Penguins. I've seen the movie. It is a good documentary, and yes the baby penguins are incredibly cute and fuzzy. But what the fuck do they have to do with Prudential Financial? NOTHING. Yet, footage taken directly from the film is used in a recent commercial.
2. Back in Black. Ah, what a lovely classic rock song with an impressively memorable opening riff. Why don't we use it in a cell phone commercial! That would be sweet.. possibly even sick. Whichever term is more hip these days. I think Back in Black was used in a Motorola Razor commercial. One of those flat piece of shit phones. Shame on whomever sold the rights... shame on you.
Next, great gift ideas for under $70,000! Brilliant! Show your wife how much you love her. Buy her a 60 carat diamond ring. Or completely let go of your manhood forever, it's your call. Looking for a swell gift for your hubby, girls? Does he need a new leather wallet? New golf clubs? No, that won't do... why not (*gasp* looks out the window at a Lexus parked on the street) a brand new luxury car! Why didn't I think of that sooner? I'll save the private jet for our anniversary.
That particular commercial leads me into my next complaint. If you remember that commercial at all, you'll realize that the woman online shopping for her husband for the golf clubs is the same woman in all the Overstock.com commercials. Someone needs to get ahold of some new TV commercial actors.
Other examples... there is a Dentyne Ice commercial that takes place in a night club. A brunette guy is checking out a chick when suddenly a blond guy eyes up the same chick. So, the blond guy freezes the brunette guy with his ultra cold Dentyne Ice breath and goes after the girl.
WELL the same blond jerk is in a Pringles commercial with a little girl (they have a Pringles vs. bag potato chip battle while sitting on some lawn furniture at a barbecue). The little girl is in another commercial dressed as a girl scout. I think it's for Swiffer Sweeper or something gay like that.
The Geico spokesman (he did the Robot) was in an AOL commercial. DUPLICATE. The actor who played Pumpkin in the movie Pumpkin was in both a Burger King commercial and also plays a bellhop in a Travelocity commercial. DUPLICATE.
And let's not forget the soft and sweet a capella renditions of Silent Night and Joy to the World. Their goal is to get us to buy Pampers and donate to the victims of hurricane Katrina, respectively. Well, how dare you damper my holiday spirit by making me feel sorry about some hurricane victims. Yeah, I know they're in need, but so am I. 4 year old kids crying and clutching a teddy bear. This is cheap! Oh, but I've caught on. Puppies in toilet paper commercials, babies, adorable cartoons- can it! I will not buy into your propaganda!
Ok, so there have been a few good gems out there recently, too. My favorite lately is the PSP commercials with the cartoon squirrels. One squirrel says "Come out and play!" The other responds "I can't! I'm playing with nut!" Watch out for this nugget of joy.
Hellz yeah.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-27 16:26:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
baby penguins are incredibly cute and fuzzy
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-22 16:13:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny, but i think you watch a LEETLE too much tv. just a tad.
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2005-12-22 15:58:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Waaa Waaa Waaa!
The people who say you watch too much TV, or that TV blows, all seem to have their asses Gorilla Glued to their chair, in front of their computer moniter, and on Ubersite all day.
I wish the FCC would allow the insertion of subliminal cut-commercials into the regular programming again.
All of these elitists would not even notice the commercials, and thus, would have nothing to complain about.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:51:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking hate TV.
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2005-12-22 09:51:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You watch too much TV.
On a side note, anyone who buys a Lexus is fucking retarded, and should be ass-humped by a platypus with AIDS.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-12-22 09:41:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Razor and Firefly, have you seen the HUGE Jew house decorated on Park Heights Ave.? It's AWESOME."
Are you talking about Park Heights Ave. in Baltimore? If so, that house is awesome! I believe it is officially known as "Hanukkah House."
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-22 09:31:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That arby's commercial of late gets me. You know the one, where three construction works are sitting around (very typical) watching the people pass by. First hot chick goes by, they don't get too excited...then another hot chick walks by, barely a head turn. Finally some fat schlub carrying his fatty arby's bag sipping on some pop, and the guys go nuts. If this doesn't scream ATTN GEY MENZ, I don't know what does.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-12-22 09:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-12-22 09:09:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My favorite commercial right now is the ESPN spot using the Chinese cabbie, trying to sing a George Strait song about Houston (pitifully but hey, he can't speak English so it is funny) and Yao's mug is next to his cab on the side of the bus.
Commerical like this one make Tivo worth 4.99 a month.
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2005-12-22 08:04:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/81177
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-22 07:56:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I only wish I knew what you were talking about but the PSP advert sounds sweet.
Submitted by junyer (user info) at 2005-12-22 03:15:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Have you ever found yourself jumping out of the sofa to hit the volume button on the remote whenever they cut to commercials? Audio tracks for commercials are usually "macho mastered", heavily treated with compression and limiting enough to suppress a nuclear blast. This is done to get the message across despite your vain attempts to seek refuge in the kitchen during the break - there's no escape! But, assuming the regular programming is played at maximum audio volume, how can commercials appear at least twice as loud? The long and short of it is: The human ear judges loudness not by peaks, but by average. Meet the concept of "perceptual loudness". One of the ear's imperfections is that it isn't fast enough to pick up extremely transient (=short) sounds in the 1-10 millisecond range and make an accurate interpretation of the volume. Modern audio science has taught engineers to exploit this shortcoming by developing techniques that ensure delivery of maximum sonic impact.
Source: http://www.propellerheads.se/home/discover/index.cfm?fuseaction=get_article&article=part3
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-22 00:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you know there are people in advertising think tanks that do nothing but sit around eating acid and other hallucenogens to gain insight into the human brain and how it can be manipulated?
Think I'm joking?
If you think there are NOT people out there who's JOB is to find ways to keep us uninformed and stupid so we're better controlled consumers, then you've got another thing comin'.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-22 00:55:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what pisses me off most about commercials...
THE WAY THEY TURN THE FUCKING VOLUME UP ON THE COMMERCIALS OVER THE PROGRAM SO THAT WHEN THE COMMERCIALS COME ON THEY BLAST YOUR EARS OUT!
You know why they do that... They do it so when you get up to leave the room, you can still hear their brainwashing pulse beating into your brains. So when you're sitting there in your half-stupor, you'll subconsciously think the commercials are more important...like they have something to say because their louder...because our brains focus on contrast.
It's all part of the EVIL that is advertising.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2005-12-22 00:51:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You watch too much tv, and I despise the overstock bitch.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-12-22 00:37:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Commercials are for idiots. I hate them for they are just a waste of time.
Submitted by garcon_fou (user info) at 2005-12-21 23:56:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Siren, put down the remote, and step away from the tv.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-12-21 23:32:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe the dancing-as-she-mops Swiffer mom was prophesied in Revelation. It's an Ellen/Martha Stewart mind meld set to Muzak. The end is, no doubt, nigh.
(What Panda said about radio is too fucking true, and it spills over into local TV ads. Stop putting your dorky "Micky D's"-bloated, dumpling faced kids in commercials, and NEVER let the little Chuck E. Cheese Pokemonsters talk in unison. That's straight up Satanic.)
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-21 21:39:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-21 21:38:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwww, I love you too!
I love all my uberwomenzez. *cue Michael Jackson voice*
You're all so beautiful.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-12-21 21:35:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-21 21:33:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
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http://www.ubersite.com/m/81311#1753549
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-21 21:33:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yea, I forgot to say...I've seen that squirrel commercial too. It's pretty funny. It actually reminded me of something someone from uber might come up with if they had been in charge of that ad campaign. Hell, who knows, they might have been.
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-12-21 21:29:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2005-12-21 21:28:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I like the frightened, pissing truck commercial. Paa whoosh eeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2005-12-21 21:17:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You must watch entirely too much television...
I envy you
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-12-21 21:11:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah Manda, she is pretty hot.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-21 21:11:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to slap that Overstock chick evertime she says "it's all about the O". Bitch.
I could outrant you on the commercialism of society any day...
But I'll spare you.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-12-21 21:04:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The other day, I heard a radio commercial for the 'TNT Network', with an extremely poorly disguised ripoff of the shout from the AC/DC song. Just some guy, trying to sound like Bon Scott, yelling only 'TNT!!' I wanted to throw something at the radio, it was obnoxious.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-12-21 21:03:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think radio commercials are even worse.
There's this one that plays ALL THE TIME on the radio station that I listen to. I can literally quote it.
The thing with radio commericals is that they can't rely on pretty people to sell a product. They need to use annoying voices, repeating the phone number 50 times in the course of 30 seconds, and the car ads use that annoying 'megaphone' sound so it echoes.
I hate when kids do radio advertisements. Their voices are normally so grating to the ears, and they try to be so cutesy, which really just comes across as annoying.
Oh, and I think the Overstock chick is cute.
Submitted by Aiya (user info) at 2005-12-21 21:03:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've never noticed that they use some of the same actors. I'm really paying attention : )