A failed experiment ( Please stop with the FUCKING trees) (916 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.93 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Drew "ajanssen" Janssen (View user info) at 2005-12-22 14:42:01 EST
The snow is swirling outside. The wind rips against the thin walls of the shitty 4th-floor apartment. Snow and ice is is trying to sneak its way inside from the cracks in the brittle window's trim.
I'm chilly, but still I sit against the only window in the apartment where I can look outside. The streets are are completely empty. Only 10 minutes to curfew and everyone is already tucked inside their beds. I reach to shut off my light, the last one on in the whole block. Now the whole city is dark, except the sun, which is still setting.
I feel alone.
In the morning I feel a little better. I almost always feel better in the mornings. The snowstorm has passed and the sun's warmth streams through the dirt-smeared window, leaving little piles of water where the snow had been. I'm in a hurry to get ready this morning. I'm about to be late for my work assignment.
I rush through the crowded streets. There are assholes everywhere now. People of all shapes, sizes, and colors. I feel lost and alone in the crowd but somehow still a part of the humanity that surrounds me. No one notices me. I'm just another prick rushing to their assigned task.
The chaos of people is disturbing but at the same time comforting. When it is over I feel lost again. There is a small bakery near my job so I stop there for a sausage biscuit. The sexy girl behind the counter smiles at me.
For a fleeting moment I truly believe that she understands. There is something about her eyes and the way she looks at me. I think that she knows what and who I am. Maybe she will sit by the window with me. She smiles again when she gives me my change. Then she smiles for the man behind me. Maybe she doesnt know
Now off to work. I am a small part of a huge machine. My mind wanders off all day and I get burnt by the steam.
The foreman yells at me and tells me that I'm lucky to have a job. That a lot of people have no work at all. I find that hard to believe. Everyone seems to be working. Everyone has some machine or oxotoper to adjust or recalibrate. He yells and cusses at me for 20 minutes during the lunch break. Now I only have ten minutes left to find something to eat.
I head back to the bakery. The girl is there again and she smiles again. Again my heart jumps and then sinks in the few moments it takes me to relive my early morning struggle. She tries to make conversation and I think she likes the way I look. I have talked to girls like her before. Taken them to my apartment. Shown them my window. But I can tell. Her mind is empty. She wouldn't understand. I eat my sandwich and go back to work.
I adjust the pressure and recalibrate the oxotoper. Everything works like it should. The shift is over. I report to the foreman and he tells me to go home.
I'm feeling sick so I walk home slowly. I always dread walking up the stairs to my apartment. I dread being there again with nothing to do. The sun is beginning to set. I quicken my pace to be inside before curfew. I unlock my door and step into my apartment. I sit by the window and only then notice the man that is waiting for me.
Am I alone?
He is smiling at me. "You're alone," he says.
I can see him clearly now. He is a policeman. He pulls out his gun. I almost smile. It almost makes me happy.
Why the fuck am I alone?
It's because the world is worth it, his smile seems to say.
He squeezes the trigger. Motors, springs, and circuit boards fall to the floor. I drop to my knees. Smoke is pouring out of my head and gears are falling out of my face.
"It doesn't hurt," I whisper. "It doesn't hurt."
"I know," he says.
I am a failed experiment.
User Reviews
Submitted by el_em_en_oh (user info) at 2005-12-28 15:13:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-28 14:51:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
interesting
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-12-28 14:51:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
interesting
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-23 06:01:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-12-22 21:13:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
the trees are fucking retarded
you people are fucking retarded
go back to your dungeons and dragons already
-------------------------------------------------------------
Ha. So says 'Zoidberg'.
What's a sausage biscuit? Like a sausage roll? Whatever, I want one.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-12-22 21:13:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the trees are fucking retarded
you people are fucking retarded
go back to your dungeons and dragons already
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-12-22 18:40:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:55:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent post.
The trees suck because people are posting the trees as their one post today and it takes about 4.7 seconds to see a god damn tree post. I HAVE 2 HOURS LEFT AT WORK! I NEED SUBSTANCE!
+2 to you for helping me get through the day.
--
Ditto. Some evocative bits here, great atmosphere.
And I would like to kick the balls of the first person who posted a tree picture yesterday.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/81319
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-12-22 16:01:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Allright. E-mail me your info.
Jason.at.sitesandsounds.com
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-22 15:46:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-12-22 15:35:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck the trees.
=========
You might get splinters.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-22 15:37:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-12-22 15:36:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have no idea, I havent been around much. Ive had some terrible legal issues myself. Texas, come on vacation leave on probation. Holler at me when youre in Dallas and Ill get you good and drunk and take you to see some titties.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-12-22 15:35:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck the trees.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-12-22 15:22:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-12-22 15:16:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Pokey, dont forsake your Texas roots you fucking turncoat.
===========================
I'm going home to Dallas and Austin next month to see my mom if I'm not in jail by then. When are you guys having your Texas Ubercon again?
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-12-22 15:16:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pokey, dont forsake your Texas roots you fucking turncoat.
Jeaneee, oxotpers are in constant need of recalibration. They are now used in NASCAR to increase horsepower. D-prime helps explain it http://www.ubersite.com/m/81060. Holler at me when u get a chance, we have some NCAA football issues that need discussion
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-22 15:13:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
definitely didn't suck.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-12-22 15:02:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not half bad for a redneck Texan.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-12-22 15:01:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Domo Arigato
Mr. Roboto
Domo Arigato
Mr. Roboto
Mata ahoo Hima de
Domo Arigato
Mr. Roboto
Himitsu wo Shiri tai.
You're wondering who I am - secret
secret - I've got a secret
Machine or mannequin - secret
secret - I've got a secret
With parts made in Japan - secret
secret - I've got a secret
I am the Modren Man.
I've got a secret
I've been hiding under my skin
My heart is human
my blood is boiling
my brain I.B.M.
So if you see me acting strangely
don't be surprised
I'm just a man who needed someone
and comewhere to hide
To keep me alive - just keep me alive
Somewhere to hide to keep me alive.
I'm not a robot without emotions - I'm not what you see
I've come to help you with your problems
so we can be free.
I'm not a Hero
I'm not a Saviour
forget what you know
I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control
Beyond my control - we all need control.
I need control - we all need control.
I am the Modren Man - secret
secret - I've got a secret
Who hides behind a mask - secret
secret - I've got a secret
So no one else can see - secret
secret - I've got a secret
My true identity.
Domo Arigato
Mr. Roboto
Domo - Domo
Domo Arigato
Mr. Roboto
Domo - Domo
Domo Arigato
Mr. Roboto
Domo Arigato
Mr. Roboto
. . .
Thank you very much
Mr. Roboto
for doing the jobs that nobody wants to
And thank you very much
Mr. Roboto
for helping me escape
Just when I needed to. Thank you
thank you
thank you
I want to thank you
please
thank you
The problem's plain to see: Too much technology
Machinesto save our lives
machines de-humanize.
The time has come at last - secret
secret - I've got a secret
To throw away this mask - secret
secret - I've got a secret
Now everyone can see - secret
secret - I've got a secret
My true identity - I'm Kilroy
Kilroy
Kilroy
Kilroy !
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:58:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MY BLOOD IS BOILING
MY HEART IS HUMAN
MY BRAIN IBM
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:57:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OK... what the fuck is an oxopter?
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent!
I am not ashamed of my tree! But, yes, they do very little to help the day go by
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:56:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if it is the lack of other Uber stimulation or if the story was really that good, but I really liked this a lot.
The only thing that lost me a little (I think) was the significance of his being alone and the "world being worth it."
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:55:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent post.
The trees suck because people are posting the trees as their one post today and it takes about 4.7 seconds to see a god damn tree post. I HAVE 2 HOURS LEFT AT WORK! I NEED SUBSTANCE!
+2 to you for helping me get through the day.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:53:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my pleasure
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:53:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
didn't see that coming. good.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:51:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NO-BO-BODY, NO-BO-BODY
NO-BO-BODY GOT TO MR ROBOTO
NO-BO-BODY, NO-BO-BODY
NO-BO-BODY GOT TO MR ROBOTO
DOMO DOMO DOMO DOMO
DOMO IRRIGATO MR ROBOTO
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:50:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for not being another tree. Even though I have been encouraging the trees.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:48:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YEAH! STOP WITH THE FUCKING TREEES!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:47:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad, a little vague. the bummer with the tress is there's nothing to read and the day is going slower, even though I did participate.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-12-22 14:47:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 just for not being another fucking tree.
Now to read it.