I think i may be a victim of terrorism or damn i shouldnt have ate them meatballs at the christmas party. (759 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.28 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by knucklesnelson (View user info) at 2005-12-22 22:58:18 EST
Ahh christmas, holiday shopping, christmas decorations, uber trees, but this is about none of those. This is about the holiday work party. I attended one of these today. I guess i had it coming. Working in a hospital there is always some sort of employee of the month tea, retirement tea, birthday tea, or in this case the christmas tea. Our boss is a scrooge, he throws none of these for us. So being the mooch i am i am forced to invite myself to others festive occasions in the hospital. I know quite a few people around here so getting is never a problem.
Today i come into work, and find out the ladies in radiation/oncology are having a little shin-dig. These chicks dig me, so i figure i will sashay my happy ass down there and see what kinds of eats they have. Its your usual spread of cheese, crackers, and sausage platters. Ahh someone brought truffles, oooohhh a veggie platter. Thats all fine and dandy if your Paul Mccartney. So i make way over to the make your own sammich platter. Ahh roast beef, turkey, all the good shit.
Then i feast my eyes on the crock pot in the corner. "Mary must made some of those kick ass meat balls she makes every year" i tell one of my co-workers. So i go over without thinking and take a scoop. "Hey these dont look like the her normal meatballs, oh well must be some new style shit she made". I grab some other shit, and go take a seat next to a couple of friends.
My buddy says to me "Damn mike you got some of those meatballs?" "Fuck yeah" i reply. "Mary makes some kick ass meatballs". "Dude Mary didnt make those. That hindu abuh dabi doctor chick did". "Fuck it man meatballs are meatballs" i say a scourf them down like any other person who smoked a doobie on the way to work would have.
Man let me tell you those things had no taste, hell i couldnt even tell if there was any meat in them. I shoulda new something was up then and there. Well let me tell you, i was heading to my work area and then i heard that grumble in my tummy. Time for a detour to the bathroom.
I wont bore you all with the details, because this shit story couldnt compare to some of the ones i have read on uber. But i got 2 words for you EXPLOSIVE DIARHEA, nuff said. Which i didnt really know if you ate something it could affect you so fast. But the only shady food i ate beside that was some fried chicken this Sista brought in for the blood labs christmas party yesterday.
I used to love this time of the year. All week i havent had to pack a lunch, or worry about packing a lunch for work. So i guess if there was a moral to this story (which im pretty sure there isnt) I would say watch what you eat at work parties, especially nothing a woman that speaks broken english, and wheres a derby on her head brings. Sorry for the two titles in one title, i've always wanted to do that.
Have a happy holiday, unless ive given you a -2 lately. In that case fuck off and die!
User Reviews
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2006-01-10 05:10:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No..
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-01-06 22:46:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Saaaaay.....
I remember meeting you. I think I said something to you, you said something to me, I said something retarded, and then you left. When can we get together again?
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2006-01-06 22:25:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
turns out you are funny
yes, obviously, i only read yours because you read mine, but i need something to do other than camping on my own post.
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2006-01-02 07:02:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-12-22 23:11:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
All i know is ive shit 4 times since being at work today, and that just dont seem natural.
_______________________________________________________
Think about it - you are getting paid to shit, thats good, not many people get paid to shit. I recommend getting explosive diarrhea at least once every 2 months to help clean out your bowels.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2006-01-02 06:31:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should've sued her ass for what she put your ass through.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-12-23 17:36:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
on a side note i got over 10,000 hits without even trying.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-23 09:49:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for a fairly humorous story.
-1 for poor spelling and grammar.
Hope your ass recovers.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2005-12-23 09:39:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for green apple splatters!
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-12-23 09:34:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy DOG eating.
Shouldn't have smoked that dubbie before work this time
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-12-23 08:37:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oncology, eh? Maybe those "meatballs" were actually tumors the doctor removed.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-23 08:25:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Assplosion.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2005-12-23 07:12:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Auto out-of-context +2 "blood labs christmas party"
-1 spelling/grammar
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-12-23 05:30:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
At least you have a case of the shits to amuse you at work today.
All I have is Uber, addictinggames.com and a bottomless supply of little chocolate thingys.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-12-22 23:22:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay I read it.
I get sick that quick from bad food, too... so I UNDERSTAND.
And why do people always do that? "this is oooh sooo gooooood!" so you heap your plate with it, eat it (because it's THERE and it's FOOD), and then you are ill?
Liars
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-12-22 23:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read this, but you are a good man, so I'll give you a +2 because I'm cool like that.
motherfucker.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-12-22 23:11:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
All i know is ive shit 4 times since being at work today, and that just dont seem natural.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-12-22 23:10:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Im not sure where shes from, i didnt see a dot on her head so probally not india. But i do agree those fuckers cook some mean ass food.
Submitted by RePet (user info) at 2005-12-22 23:08:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Was the lady from India? 'Cause they make some dangerous food over there.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-12-22 23:06:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yeah and i dont spell check, as if it isnt obvious.