The Legacy of Diana, Princess of Wales, or, I'm Glad that Adulterous Whore is Dead (306 hits)
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Submitted by Nellypaal (View user info) at 2005-12-23 07:04:15 EST
Diana, Princess of Wales. Queen of Hearts. Royal slut.
Never before has one person spawned a legacy of such utterly shit and tasteless monuments.
As we approach the anniversary of her death (maybe), I think it's only fitting that we commemorate just what has been left for us to remember her by.
It will be argued - though not by me - that Diana led a worthy life and deserves to be remembered by our great nation. This post isn't about contesting that (maybe another time) but is simply an observation on how fittingly, yet accidentally crap those memorials have turned out.
We can begin with the Diana Memorial Fountain in Hyde Park. That's in London. It looks like this:
Filling the white elephant gap between the Millennium Dome and the Scottish Parliament (recently voted, I think, 8th favourite building for demolition by the Scots), this slippery puddle has been struck by near constant problems since its opening.
Whether it be flooding, blocking by leaves (note the obviously deciduous trees surrounding the site) or the layer of slime that quickly formed over the publicly accessible surfaces, this monument perfectly demonstrates the almost comfortingly British knack of screwing up the simplest of projects. After several kids and oldies were admitted to hospital after slipping on said slime, Westminster Council was forced into removing the right to paddle. A recent victim, pictured below, was quoted as saying, "Owch. I'm glad that bitch is dead."
Now this was the effort of a British local authority, so we can hardly be surprised that they ballsed it up.
There is, however, a private individual who has done more - and I thank him for this - to cheapen the memory of Diana.
His name is Mohammed al-Fayed. He looks like this:
This Egyptian-born, British passport-seeking, camel jockey is the owner of Harrods. It's a shop in London, for those reading elsewhere. It's bloody expensive, but has the saving grace of being the only place in Britain where we can buy Krispy Kremes. I can almost forgive him anything for that.
Now Diana, who I think I mentioned already was a bit of a slut, was dating Mohammed's son Dodi at the time of her death. Indeed, Dodi was also killed on that fateful night in Paris.
Understandably, Mohammed was upset by this. I won't take that away from him as I have nothing against Dodi, other than his dubious taste in women.
Naturally, Mohammed wanted to pay tribute to his beloved son. I understand that too.
What I don't understand is what in God's name he was thinking when he decided that the correct way to remember his son and son's mistress was with a gold plated monstrosity in the basement of Harrods.
I was unable to find a picture which does justice to the true tackiness of this monster, but believe me, it's even worse up close. Cop a load of this:
It's disgusting. It has music playing and a wishing well in the centre. Needless to say I didn't waste any of my change that day.
But that's not all.
Mohammed had more in store for us.
He hadn't yet mined the full depths of his tastelessness.
He wanted a statue.
Recently unveiled, what follows is his latest attempt to immortalise Diana and Dodi.
With a large bird.
Classy, huh?
Note that it's also gold. Mohammed seems to like gold. Not surprising I suppose, considering how bloody minted he is. That doesn't prevent it from being the tackiest of the precious metals. This is how the Goldie Lookin' Chain would've designed it.
So, as you've seen, the lady who was once due to be Queen of Great Britain, Northern Ireland and the Commonwealth has become an icon to bruised heads, shocked retinas and general disgust.
Good riddance.
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Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2006-03-04 02:00:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is for -2ing all of my posts. Grow up bitch.