It's not offensive to say "Merry Christmas" to a jew (835 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.33 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bob Dole (View user info) at 2005-12-24 01:53:55 EST
response to review turned rant: http://www.ubersite.com/m/81457
gotta go against the warm fuzzy holiday feelings here- people say merry christmas to me all the time, despite being openly jewish. (openly jewish? wait, that sounds too much like openly gay, um, lets try "obiviously")...I'm obiviously jewish...but i dont care, i say it right back to them.
why piss in their cornflakes just because my past generations picked a different invisible man in the sky to pray to? (well, it's the same man in the sky, just no kid) but i digress.
"Happy Fucking Whatever" would sound better than "Happy Holidays"... in short, saying 'holidays' sounds pretentious--- at least being honest about not giving a shit is better than that.
Orgasmatron has it right:
Happy holidays I say to you
And holly happydays I should say too,
For days of holly, happy, are the holidays to keep
So have a Merry Christmas, motherfucker - please die in your sleep
So when someone says Merry Christmas to me, I say thanks, and appreciate the warm thoughts. Now excuse me while i go put exlax in the eggnog and only tell the other jews.
User Reviews
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-12-24 20:13:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2005-12-24 08:05:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
i wish i could wrap all my presents in that paper.
-------
Well done kid, you earned yourself a quote. Feel proud.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2005-12-24 11:25:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My boss is Jewish. The other two people in the office (the marketing person and I) are non-practising Christians. He gave us "Holiday" bonuses (even me despite that I had started there only 5 weeks earlier - what a guy), but he verbally wished us a "Merry Christmas".
We both responded with "Happy Chanukah" right back. No bloodshed, no annoyed looks. It really is the thought that counts.
Submitted by MisterMojoRisin (user info) at 2005-12-24 10:41:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have that wrapping paper! +2 for that alone!
Submitted by nahnoneofit (user info) at 2005-12-24 08:37:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
and youre just as much of a dumbass for retorting, and giving the issue attention.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2005-12-24 08:05:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i wish i could wrap all my presents in that paper.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-12-24 07:15:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"obivious"? Twice?
Merry Christmas.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2005-12-24 06:00:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the image was actually from www.tshirthell.com ... they sell it as real giftwrap.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-12-24 02:55:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i just put that picture on the background of my client's laptop
maybe i should have waited till i got paid in 10 mins?
naaaaaa, fuck um
whoa!!
<shutdown>
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-24 02:19:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. Lisa,
maybe you should try some of this.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart the Genius
Submitted by coocoocachoo (user info) at 2005-12-24 02:07:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Merry Christmas