Ramblings of an inebreated lurk-fiend, or, How I spit-roasted Shlongy by myself. (962 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.4 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by KampA (View user info) at 2005-12-27 21:23:43 EST
Drunken masturbation is pretty fucking good. Not as good as drunken sex, I'd imagine. Should really try that some time.
*
You know what I was thinking as I browsed the other day? When I was thinking, "How do people tolerate uber? The racist jokes, the sexist slags, the hideous pRoN, the endless unfeeling comments that no doubt scar the fragile for life. Why?"
You know what I realised?
You know what hit me like a damp cock in the face?
The world *needs* uber.
Yep, that's right. The world *needs* us. With all this 'political correctness' sh1te running around, with all this luvydovy liberal suck my cock pansywansy bollocks...the world needs a balance...a place where anything goes, where prejudge is rife and anal rape is something to laugh at.
Take a bow uber, you're saving the fucking planet.
*
I muse; there are few things more disconcerting to a guy than to look down whilst taking a piss and see blood.
Sacred the fuck out of me, that's for sure.
*
Listening to Jefferson Airplane in the car with your parents. Pounding music and cheap alcohol...family pleasure and wild recklessness. Who's to say which is more right? Which more fun? Fuck it all - both are great.
You don't get bands like Airplane anymore, or the Dead.
Coldplay have the tunes, Franz Ferdinand the energy.
But no-one has the context...the social commentry combined with music so good you could lay it out and fuck it senseless...the 60's had it, and nothing had ever had it since, and nothing ever will have it again.
Maybe I should try weed again - fuck it all, but who am I hurting?
Family? What they don't know, as the saying goes, as much bullshit as that is.
Government? Laws? Bend 'em, break 'em, shove 'em up your ass? Maybe if one person breaks 'em they've fucked it for the rest of em...but then again, weed is fun.
Alcohol is fun. Both drgs, ruight?
Damn, but this train of thought is too long.
*
Onlya fool or a whore would get ahead of themselves.
*
Myabe that';s an idea - whores might be good...dancing and lips is all well and good, but sometimes you crave what only experienced pussy can prvide, and shit but if you ladies here don't know about that, then I ain't one of method's randy alters.
*
Fuck that sexless Greek - the spartans knew the fucking deal. Eat or be eaten.
Kil or be killed.
Dont wait for them to fuck you over.
Fuck them over, and in the ass too. Sodomy is the mirror of social misconduct.
*
"Sharpen your teeth, for the somethign fucking good feast..." I swear, that women Slick has a voice better than Aritha Franklin. I'd do them both.
In teh pooper.
*
If you're able to stay on the floo without holding on, you ain't drunk enough.
Fuckit, the weed'll outweight ut.
Confidence is all you need, then ou can do anything.
*
Oh aye, and I spit-roasted Shlongy, the dirty man-whore.
All by myself.
User Reviews
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-01-07 10:58:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for connecting realization with a damp cock hitting you in the face. Though you should remember, every time you post a BMP, another angel gets teh ghey AIDS.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-07 10:49:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the obvious reasons...
Submitted by Doberish (user info) at 2005-12-31 10:41:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-12-30 15:05:05 (#)
Ranking: 1
Yes. Gave the wrong impression there.
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Gotcha- it wasn't just that- but a first post with a quick +2 from the aforementioned, who does like to review with his 'alternate accounts'. Er..I mean, would if he had any, that is.
Either way, this post did get a few giggles out of me.
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Aye, ta...I was dropping names in a completely shameless attempt at heat.
Didn't really work :D
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-12-30 15:05:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yes. Gave the wrong impression there.
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Gotcha- it wasn't just that- but a first post with a quick +2 from the aforementioned, who does like to review with his 'alternate accounts'. Er..I mean, would if he had any, that is.
Either way, this post did get a few giggles out of me.
Submitted by Doberish (user info) at 2005-12-30 14:51:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"then I ain't one of method's randy alters."
Oh, right. I see.
Yes. Gave the wrong impression there.
Submitted by Doberish (user info) at 2005-12-30 14:45:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-12-27 21:48:40 (#)
Ranking: 1
Alters are funny when they're drunk.
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Not a fucking alter - at least, not really. Check out my account - I've reviewed tons of posts before putting up this. Why bother with the effort if I'm only an alter?
No heat for the Shlong? Bastards.
Oh, and I really can't believe I posted a bmp. I wasn't that fucking drunk was I?
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2005-12-28 11:34:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, you used the word "Shlongy" in the title. That ought to generate some heat. Traffic at the very least.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-28 10:05:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked "sacred the fuck outta me." typos are funnier than the on purpose shit.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-12-28 09:54:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You and me should hang out!
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-12-28 08:38:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-12-28 03:06:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad.
-Dave
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-12-28 01:56:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Doberish (user info) at 2005-12-27 21:26:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
Did I post a FUCKING bmp!?
FUCK THAT SHITE!!11!!!
Cocksucking dopefiend!
I should jump out a fucking window...
\_________________
yes.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-12-27 21:48:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Alters are funny when they're drunk.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-27 21:41:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this, twas funny
Submitted by Doberish (user info) at 2005-12-27 21:26:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Did I post a FUCKING bmp!?
FUCK THAT SHITE!!11!!!
Cocksucking dopefiend!
I should jump out a fucking window...